


Acts of the Flesh

by Camelabrakedabra



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-05-16 20:47:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 156,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14818572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Camelabrakedabra/pseuds/Camelabrakedabra
Summary: It started with young girls going missing after their village's god took them as a wife. Then, when the villagers thought they had some idea of who would be next, he started taking boys instead.Of course, it was only a matter of time before he picked a boy who lost interest in him before they even had the opportunity to get started.





	1. Chapter 1

The first direct encounter with the god had occurred several hundred years ago. 

No one in the village had really expected it, nor had they been accepting of the time. A thirteen-year-old girl, suddenly pregnant before she was married. Heck, she hadn't even been promised to anyone at that point. She was supposed to be waiting until she was sixteen, since her father was a pastor and all. That's what they said, anyway. They didn't want some random boy to snatch up their little girl. If they wanted her to be given away, they could easily find her a husband; she was young and beautiful with a perfect complexion and almond-shaped eyes, and black hair that fell about her face. Her breasts were only just starting to develop, her waist naturally curved in slightly further than her bust and hips. She was the storybook image of perfection and even if they decided to keep her until she was eighteen, there would be no difficulties in finding her a husband. Of course, though, someone had to snatch her up before her time and that was her problem. She swore that it was the doing of the god they worshipped - the one who had a newly-developed shrine in her father's chapel - and not some boy from the village. It sounded ridiculous and she knew that, but it was the absolute truth and they wouldn't find a boy from the surrounding area who would admit to claiming her maidenhead. 

Her father was furious, as can be imagined. He sought to find the person who ruined any and all chances of his daughter having a good life; the man who made sure that she would be burdened with a child at such a young age. Any men who would marry her prior to this event would suddenly be put off, meaning that she would be forced to live with her parents for the rest of her life. She would be unable to find work, other than perhaps as a seamstress, so she was essentially useless. As much as she claimed that she was carrying the child of their god, he was hardly going to believe that. At least, not until he'd had enough of the ridiculous claims and made sure to go to the chapel himself late one night in order to find out whether he could trust his daughter's words. It was the desperation of a man who had been faithful throughout his entire life and needed to know whether his little girl had the same morals; the desperation of a man who wanted to believe her but know that it was implausible that she could have ever been chosen by their god as the carrier of his child. It was unheard of and as faithful as he was, he was still a rational man. The reality of the situation was that no other man would believe his daughter's story and the excuse that the baby was born to their god simply wouldn't be accepted by the people around them. If he wanted to get someone pregnant, he would have surely done so many years ago, when they first started to worship him.

And so he asked. He figured that he wouldn't have anything to lose by simply going to the shrine and asking for the truth. Was she rebelling to punish their family? Was she not as faithful as she'd been raised to be? Did she need punishment for the lies and scandals that she was causing? He didn't want to put her through all of that, but he needed to emphasise that coming up with such intense lies couldn't be allowed in their community. If he was to punish any other member of the village for making such intense claims, he would have to punish her for them too. As much as he loved her, it wasn't the case that one rule fit one person and another fit everyone else. No, this had to be consistent. 

His pleas were left unanswered to start with. The pastor spent several hours calling out to their god, trying his hardest to find out exactly what had happened to his daughter, but there was no stir in response during that time. It came as a disappointment, but he figured right away that there was something more important to deal with, and so he soon allowed the exhaustion of his efforts to take over. For a while, he was sat in complete silence on the bench nearest to the shrine, but then the exhaustion only developed further until his body felt heavy with the onset of sleep. Whilst he could have taken himself to bed, something was telling him that he was supposed to stay there for the moment. A little inkling that he needed to take his rest in the shrine, where he would be able to communicate with the god in his dreams. It was all too sudden for it to just be coincidental, and his faith told him that he was about to find out exactly what happened on the night that his daughter fell pregnant. And so he let it wash over him until he was consumed by the need to sleep. 

The first thing that he was faced with was the scene of the chapel again, although considerably darker than it was when he took his rest. The colours of the room were muted, suggesting that it was probably in the early hours of the morning. Only a trickle of moonlight met the room from the windows high up on the back wall, and that light hit the shrine perfectly at that hour. All was still for a moment and the pastor considered moving, figuring that perhaps he'd risen from his nap at an awkward time and was left feeling as if he wasn't really in his own body, but it soon became apparent that he was unable to do that. For whatever reason, his body wouldn't move; his muscles were paralysed and he had a limited sense of his body for the time being. Instead, he was forced to wait it out until finally, he noticed the front door of the chapel slowly creak open. His senses were aroused as he tried to figure out who would be coming in at that hour, only to find that the shape that entered the room matched his daughter's shape particularly well. She was in the night robe that she'd been in the night before she announced her pregnancy to them, and the way that she drifted into the chapel was almost angelic; silent, swift, and almost floating. 

She seemingly didn't notice her father sat on the benches nearest to the door - either that, or he wasn't visible to her. Perhaps it was a flashback, the pastor mused. There was no way of telling just yet. He watched patiently as she took a seat on the benches on the other side of the room and stared at the shrine in silence for a few minutes. In that time, there was no sound or movement; the pastor was left waiting in anticipation for something to happen, but his daughter simply sat with her head bowed for a short while before moving towards the looming statue of the god at the head of the shrine. Once there, she kneeled down and pressed her right hand to the god's hand, and then slowly dropped herself down even further, as much as her body would allow. "Please forgive me for everything I've done to burden my family," she told the statue in a quiet, hushed tone. "I told my father that I wouldn't like to get married today. I think he's starting to think that there's something wrong, but I simply tell him that I'd like to wait. Do you think that he'll be angry with me if I tell him that I never wish to marry?" There was no reply of course, but she simply gave a soft, exasperated laugh. "As much as he's a man of good faith, I think he's expecting my brother to take over the responsibility of the shrine when he eventually passes to the afterlife. I don't think anyone would take me seriously if I took over that role anyway, do you?" 

It was almost as if she was conversing with someone, although no response ever came when she asked her questions. Eventually, she rocked back so that she was sat on her legs with her head raised. Her hand slowly drifted up towards the statue's chest and halted on its stomach, as high up as she could reach without straining too much. "Could I perhaps see you tonight?" she asked the statue. Again, no answer came. She waited for a minute or so before giving a sigh and bowing her head, and then promptly made her way back towards the benches. The pastor continued to watch in silence, figuring that at some point a village boy would end up making his way into the room. The way that she had spoken suggested an element of familiarity; it couldn't possibly be the case that she'd met their god before, and so he could only assume that she had been meeting with someone else in the chapel. Yet, when he looked up, he noticed a large figure starting to make its way out from the shadows in the darkest corner of the room. He was suddenly left on edge as he tried to figure out who the person was, but then as they started on their way towards his daughter, he noticed that the person's voice was not coming from their body; rather, it was coming from the statue of their god. 

"Are you still here?" he asked first of all as he made his way out into the open room. "Or are you ready to sleep now?"  
"I'm here," she announced as she started to drop onto her knees again, but the figure gently pressed a hand to her shoulder before she could fully embrace the kneeling position.  
"None of that tonight. I was hoping that perhaps we could just be two people and I could help you with your problems. I don't want your father to punish you for not marrying, but I fear that the pressures from the people around you would mean that you'll have to marry soon enough. I doubt that you'll be kept until your sixteenth birthday at this rate." 

He moved her to sit on the bench again and promptly took her hands in his own as he began to ask questions about everything that was going on in her life. Family dynamics, her teachings, the boys who had already asked for her hand. When she mentioned a particular boy who had been pushing for her affections - one whose parents had offered her father substantial compensation in exchange for her - the figure visibly tensed. He stayed silent as she continued to describe the boy but then as soon as she was finished doing so, he let out a low noise. "I won't let him have you," he said, almost possessively. "You're not his to take. I'm not letting him hurt you. He wants to give you his child and then leave you. He'll be seeing countless women behind your back and you deserve better than that."  
"It's not a woman's place to complain."  
"It's not a mother's place to let her children learn that sort of behaviour either." She gave a slight nod as she lowered her head again, although the figure was quick to grab her chin and lift it up. He was firm with her but not aggressive, and she seemed to respond well to the touches. 

"What would you say if I said I could stop you from ever having to marry?" he finally asked as he held her gaze. She stayed completely silent, obviously not knowing how she should answer the question. On one hand, it would be ideal for her. On the other hand, it was unrealistic and potentially dangerous in the long-run. She was sure that her parents knew what was best for her and if they said that she needed to be married, then that was what she was going to do. It didn't matter what she wanted. She made sure to let him know about that right away, although the god audibly sighed at that point.  
"I want to make you my wife," he announced confidently, "I want you to live with me in a place where you won't ever be harmed again. You'll get to stay alive with me for many years and we can have a family if you'd like, and you can show me your faith by being around without ever having to feel as if you're obliged to do anything ever again. Does that sound good to you?" 

He brushed her hair away from her face before leaning closer to kiss her forehead. At that point, the pastor was forced to stop watching, and shortly after he woke up with a jolt. He knew right away that that was how his daughter had ended up pregnant; although he didn't get to see how everything unfolded, it didn't take a genius to know that their god had impregnated her. She had been telling the truth from the start and he was quite frankly relieved. Not only because it meant that none of the village boys had violated her, but also because it meant that she would be taken by the god soon enough and they wouldn't have to worry about the pregnancy getting in the way of everything in their daily lives. She would be happy with him to take care of her and the baby. Their family would be happy to preach about how their daughter was chosen to carry the child of their god and how the pastor had seen it in a vision, which would only serve to increase the faith in their community. There would be no arranged marriage, and there would be no burdens. It would end up working out perfectly, and that was exactly the sort of news that he needed on that particular day. 

It was spread as soon as he woke up the following morning. His daughter had a very specific purpose in their community from that point onwards; she was there to tell them about the god and their interactions. It became apparent from the vision that they had communicated on several occasions, and so she was encouraged to speak out about those encounters. Although she was reluctant to start with, she eventually began to open up. His name was Min Gyu, he lived for up to five thousand years before he was reincarnated, and he said that he was in love with her. He was gentle and kind, and he loved animals so they all had to make sure that they were caring towards their livestock and poultry in particular. He had the ability to change the weather and make sure that the community thrived, but there were a number of things that he wasn't able to control. He didn't control life or death, miscarriages, trauma, abuse. He couldn't control other people's feelings or how they reacted to different situations, and he had no say as to how the community was able to develop. That was mostly down to them, although there were a few other gods who were supposed to be linked with some of those things. They were primarily based elsewhere, though, so it wasn't as if their prayers would be able to get their problems fixed in an instant. Yet, he would do his best to provide them with the knowledge that would give them the answers if he asked them for it out of desperation. He could tell them where to search for the medicine that would help their loved ones' ailments but he couldn't simply fix the problem for them. 

The pastor swelled with pride as his daughter preached for the god. She seemed so knowledgeable and genuine, but also refrained from telling them what she didn't know. If they asked a question that she couldn't give a definite answer to, she simply suggested that they ask him themselves since it was better to get the right answer than a guess. And their community accepted her teachings, even though she wasn't typically seen as the sort of person who would be able to provide those sorts of answers. It was a relief; faith only seemed to blossom further as her pregnancy developed and she was left waddling around the village with her arms wrapped around the swollen bump. 

And then she disappeared one night without any warning whatsoever. 

It initially caused panic. They had somehow lost a pregnant girl in the middle of the night; there were no signs to say where she'd gone or who she'd gone with. Whilst it could be assumed that Min Gyu had taken her and had claimed her as his wife, it couldn't be proven. She could have easily been taken by some jealous villager instead, or even someone from outside of their community. For the first day, there was a hunt to find her. Her father was so desperate to figure out what had happened to her that he was determined to search every crevice of the area and even branch out across the country. He wouldn't have much hope if her kidnapper was on horseback, since she could easily have been miles away by that point, but he would give it a shot anyway. 

He only called off the hunt several days later when he was faced with another vision. This time, though, it was of his daughter in her bed. She was curled up with her hands on her bump when suddenly the same figure from the chapel appeared in the corner of her room. This time, though, the voice came from him directly instead of through the statue next to her bed. "We need to go," he said, and she suddenly sat right up. There was no stirring involved; no gradual wake up or anything. Her eyes simply opened and she moved to sit up on her bed before turning to face him.  
"Is it time?"  
"You'll give birth to my son in three days. I'd rather give you enough time to get prepared, if that's okay." She gave a nod and allowed him to scoop her up, and then they promptly started on their way into the dark corner of the room again. 

"Pastor?" a voice said to him once the scene grew dark. He remained silent, although it was clear that the voice knew it had his attention. "Your daughter gave birth to my son this afternoon. She's currently resting up, but he's beautiful. She wanted to name him after you. I'm not allowed to give too much information because I can't risk it being passed on through each generation, but I'd like you to know that she's in safe hands." 

And that was that. It was the end of the vision, and the last time that he heard from the god. As much as he tried to communicate again in the future, there was never any direct reply. The other villagers had the same issue. Whilst the god had kept his promise and had provided them with the answers they needed, it wasn't something that came how they had expected. They thought that they would end up hearing his voice in their heads, just as the pastor's daughter had described, but it hadn't quite been the case. Instead, they would ask their question and would dream about the solution. It was a mild disappointment that they were unable to feel that connection with their god, but it was something that they could deal with, given that he was still holding up on his end of the promise. 

For the most part, the villagers got on with their lives and, presumably, the god got on with his. There was no interference; no sudden attacks from above. It was guessed that he was there to offer forgiveness to them for their sins because they were simply human and sometimes that sort of thing happened. Even during the periods in which they made huge mistakes and punished innocent people, their god would never punish them for it. Either he wouldn't even say a word about it, or the person who was receiving the message from him kept their mouth shut. 

In fact, they didn't face any direct punishment for around fifty years. 

At that point, no one really knew what had set it off specifically. They had faced a number of problems since the last time anyone had really heard from the god. The vast majority of people from the village were of a new generation, and so they were unsure as to whether they were being punished for their mistakes, or whether it was the backflow of their parents' problems too. All of a sudden, they were faced with a situation in which rain clouds flooded their village, drowning all of their crops. The rains were heavy enough to cause issues when it came to feeding their livestock, and there were hardly enough surviving crops to feed everyone. The village was, quite unfortunately, on low ground. It was positioned right between two mountains, and so all of the rains proceeded to flood the place for a considerate period of time. It eventually stopped, of course, but then again, the sun remained locked away. There was very limited heat and again, very few opportunities to make food. A lot of the villagers ended up fleeing out of pure desperation, knowing full well that there weren't enough resources to keep everyone happy. They wouldn't be able to live on that sort of food, and there was no way that it would be a good enough environment to raise children. 

The famine continued for a number of years. When one extreme was lost, another would take its place, but the recurring theme was that there were no sunny periods. It meant that other approaches needed to be taken in order to keep everyone alive. Trade with nearby villages, venturing out to collect wild plants to eat, fattening up livestock as quickly as possible so that they could be killed and used for food. It taught the villagers to share their resources, if nothing else, and so they ended up developing enough to be able to keep the community alive. They were hardly thriving, of course, but they were pulling through each year just fine. 

And then, all of a sudden, it completely stopped. There were no more harsh rains or intense winters; no more intense dry spells or bitterness or flooding or tornadoes in the middle of summer. It came so suddenly that they didn't really know what had happened. A complete surprise, the village elders announced when they woke up to find that the sun was shining brightly in the sky. Perhaps the god had seen their efforts at surviving and had decided that they had seen enough punishment. They were able to start their development into a well-sustained environment again, over the span of around fourteen years. And in that time, they genuinely did well for themselves. Crops began to grow bigger than they had before the famine hit; animals were growing to full size at a younger age than they had been beforehand. It was a blessing; their efforts were completely paying off, and there was no reason to live in fear anymore. 

The end of those fourteen years saw another teen pregnancy, though. Another young girl with similar features to the first. She was the daughter of a farmer; a pretty girl with tanned skin and freckles that peppered her cheeks. She had the same black hair that she brushed behind her ears and big innocent-looking eyes that shimmered in the light. She was starting to reach puberty at that point, just as the last girl had done, and she swore that it was the doings of the god. He'd come to her in the middle of the night, she claimed, and he'd insisted that he was going to make her the mother of his children. 

Of course, she wasn't going to deny the god when he spoke to her so sweetly. He had been so gentle too, she said, and he'd made sure to kiss her softly before asking for permission to continue. From her account, though, it hadn't actually involved any sex but rather, her dream involved him cuddling her and then suddenly she found herself with the knowledge that she was pregnant with his child. It was a detail that had been left out from the account of the first girl but since she hadn't really had much experience with the process of making children, it was quite plausible that she had experienced the same thing. It had just been assumed that they'd gone ahead with it and that was what was written in the scripts. It naturally sparked greater interest in everything that had been happening around them and what had caused the sudden change to that girl. 

Had the god decided that he wanted someone else? Was the girl he took made immortal, or had her limited lifespan meant that he'd had to search for someone new to take her place when she finally passed away? Did he have a specific type in mind when he looked for someone else to carry his children, or would he be looking for anyone who happened to meet his fancy at the time? Did he need to have children to survive, or was it just like any other human desire to reproduce? In fact, was he even that much like a human? Did he have the same desires for sex and a family and a romantic relationship, or was it for practical reasons instead? There was no way of proving or disproving it, and that was a huge pain for everyone in the village. It meant that they wouldn't be able to work out why everything had played out as it did when the girl finally went missing, and so they were simply left to try to make theories about the logistics of the god's life and plans. 

And considering that it was so long between the periods of suffering, it was hard to determine a pattern. By the time they were faced with another famine again, they were in a position where no living person in the village had any experience of the last time it happened. They were forced to read the various different accounts of the event that were scattered around the village, in notebooks and holy texts and even diaries, just so that they would be able to survive the peril that faced them. It was just as bad as those writings suggested; extremely low temperatures, floods, hurricanes, and a general difficulty when it came to producing enough food to keep everyone alive. Houses were damaged, livestock were killed, and again, a lot of the people who were living in the village at the time considered moving elsewhere to avoid the extreme weather that they were faced with. It was a test of faith, in a way; those who were looking out for the future of good fortune stayed and made sure that the god knew they were there. They tried everything that the previous generations had done, but also made sure to add that they didn't expect too much of him. If he was suffering, they would be there to support him. They loved him, and they understood that pain was something that was difficult to deal with. Of course, it didn't really have an effect on the intensity of the weather, but it made them all feel better about the situation nonetheless. 

It was a "rinse and repeat" sort of situation, ultimately. Around fifty years passed and then the sun came, completely out of the blue. Fertile lands again, and a good warmth that was enough to leave the flowers blossoming early. It was all perfect; whilst they had started out the week expecting no change whatsoever, they were all woken up halfway through the week to the sound of birds outside their windows. It was a sound that a lot of the villagers hadn't experienced, having never really had that much sun before and especially not that much in one go. Perhaps there would have been the odd dry spell here and there, but it would never last long enough for birds to appear and the trickle of sunlight to creep into their bedrooms. It was a treat, and that was something that they all needed after struggling for so long. 

And then, after some more time had passed, another girl in the village fell pregnant. Another virgin to be snatched up by the god. This one looked different to the maiden who had been outlined in the texts as the god's "type", but she was almost as youthful as the others. This one wasn't quite as quiet and conscientious as the others had been; she didn't enjoy learning new things and was instead more focused on manual labour and lazing about. Not at the same time, obviously, but one or the other at any given time. She would help her parents on their farm, but would then spend the rest of the afternoon napping on the grass. What was particularly strange about this instance, though, was that her parents had been around at the time. She had been taking a nap on a hay bale as they worked around her, and then suddenly jolted upright without any warning whatsoever before promptly announcing to her parents that the god had chosen her to carry his children. Surely enough, a home pregnancy test was enough to suggest that that was the case, and then her missed period confirmed it. There had been no entity in person and definitely no sex, and her parents had honestly been baffled by the entire situation. 

It surely threw a spanner in the works for those who had been trying to figure out the early signs of a pattern from the first few instances. They had been using the records of the past two girls to try to determine which of the village girls was going to end up being his choice this time, but then it had turned out to be completely wrong. They had even gone to the extent of pre-warning that girl that she would probably be the next partner for their god, which gave her plenty of time to prepare her mind and body for the process of being impregnated and then taken to wherever he was taking his lovers. It had, therefore, been a huge disappointment for her when she woke up one morning to an announcement that the farmer's daughter was carrying the god's baby instead. 

Then, of course, history repeated itself once again. She disappeared a few months into her pregnancy. Fifty years passed. The famine started again. Fifty more years passed. The famine ended. A few more years went by, and then another girl fell pregnant. That was the only consistent part of it from that point onwards. It quickly became apparent that he hadn't chosen a specific type and it must have been related to something else instead. In fact, he didn't even limit himself to the single girls. Out of the first ten, three were already in relationships by the time he'd chosen them. One had even been married at the time, having been from a noble family who promised her to her husband from birth. At fourteen years old, she'd been married to him and had intended on spending the rest of her life with him. A few weeks later, she had fallen pregnant and their families had both been relieved to find that they were going to be starting their family early. It had been awkward, as a result, when she had to announce that her husband wasn't the baby's father and instead, their god had come to her in the middle of the night and told her that she was his and his alone. She had been taken away a lot earlier than the others, and it had been presumed that it had been a territorial thing; Min Gyu didn't want the mother of his children to be with another man, and so she had to leave their world as soon as possible. 

Then there were the other factors. Some had been gentle and motherly, whilst other girls had been rough and tomboyish. Some had long black hair that fell around their faces, others had short brown bobs and one even had a boyish pixie cut. Some were tall and others short. Some had big eyes, some had double eyelids, and some had monolids. There were very few consistencies in his type, and so it wasn't clear whether there was something pulling him towards particular girls or whether it was a matter of wanting something new each time. Perhaps he was bored with having the same sort of girl for years and wanted a change each time, they guessed. It would certainly make sense; after all, an eternal, immortal being would probably struggle to live with the same woman for the rest of his life. In addition, if their theory was correct and the mothers of his children passed away within the normal lifespan of a human - hence the famine that hit after fifty or so years each time - perhaps he couldn't stand to think about the women who he'd been with in the past. It would be hard to deal with, they guessed; if he'd just lost someone, finding a replacement was difficult enough as it was without having to worry about constantly missing the last person for the rest of his life. 

In the end, they determined that there were a few things they could bag on. The girl would have always been born in the village. She was always aged between thirteen and sixteen, with many of them being closer to sixteen as times moved on and young marriages were less common. He would come to her whilst she was asleep or praying, and she would know right away that she was carrying his child. It would come up in traditional home pregnancy tests right away, although it wouldn't be confirmed until she'd missed her period that month. The only other real similarity was that the girl would never be fearful when her time was coming. She would always know exactly what was happening but would never really be able to put the anticipation into words, and then she would make sure to wish her parents a good life before going to bed. By the time the morning came, she was gone. If her parents tried to keep an eye on her so that she wouldn't be taken, they would end up feeling a wave of exhaustion out of the blue and would wake several minutes later to find her missing. 

Knowing those sorts of trends provided a foundation for their knowledge about the god Mingyu. It meant that they were able to prepare for the upcoming famines and arrange adequate trade before it hit. That certainly made their lives a hell of a lot easier. There were fewer people leaving during the famines and enough building reinforcements to avoid houses collapsing and taking innocent lives. It was their village's reality, and that was just something that they would have to deal with on a rotational basis.


	2. Chapter 2

As with all good things, there had to be a point where it ended. Those sorts of things never really lasted. As soon as something became easy, other challenges needed to arise and that was exactly what faced the village once they thought they had it all planned out. One slight change to the pattern was enough to cause havoc; they had planned perfectly for fifty years of famine and extreme weather, but they hadn't really anticipated more than sixty years at most. 

In theory, there wasn't much of a difference between a fifty-year famine and a one-hundred-year famine. It was a famine either way, and their preparation didn't really need to change once they had it all planned out. In practice, though, it was a completely different story. Their buildings weren't created to withstand one-hundred years of extreme weather corrosion, and it meant that their options were to either allow their roofs to cave in or find a way to support them better. Likewise, fifty years would give them a chance to recover and train their children for the extremes from a young age without forcing them to face it right away and grow up too fast. One-hundred, on the other hand, meant that they would have to learn what to do from joining in. Their childhoods were snatched away by this extended famine, and they were soon forced to do the jobs that the adults would usually do, as a result of the sickness that came along with poverty and poor living conditions. 

For years, the people of the village searched for answers. What had they done to deserve something like that? What were they being punished for? Was there anything they could do to stop the famine that was plaguing their village? They started by praying every day, encouraging absolutely every single person in the village to pay their respects to their god and apologise for their sins. Then, when that didn't work, they resorted to weeding individuals out in the village. Firstly, they went for the people who they thought were trying to get out of praying. They made sure that those individuals were shunned until they followed everyone around them and paid their respects. Secondly, they tried the people who were seen as lesser in the community. The people who were so poor that they were having to take scraps from anyone who happened to have some spare. Those who were unmarried and had no children. Those who had disabilities, were ill, or were homosexual. Those who didn't typically fit in with their society's norms. Those individuals were shunned to start with, but were eventually kicked out of the village. The elders considered sentencing them to death too, but figured that perhaps that would upset their god more than it would make him happy.

Then they tried having children. Everyone in the village made a mutual decision to have as many children as possible, in hopes that one of them would tickle their god's fancy. They had read that the poor weather was supposed to stop when a daughter was born - the future wife of the god. They simply had to have as many daughters as possible and hope that one of them would be worthy. That way, they would be able to stop the issues that were going on around them. And if their daughters weren't good enough for the god or they had a son instead, they would simply get them to help out in the village. They needed more hands for labour, and they needed more children to be born. As long as there were people to keep the village running, they would be able to sort out the struggles they were facing with time.

Obviously, though, it wasn't really the most effective method. It led to a number of infant deaths and eventually, baby boys were left to die in the streets. They weren't any use if they weren't going to help them to get out of that situation and since one man could sleep with a number of different women and have a lot of children on the way at one time, it was more efficient to simply have a handful of boys and a huge number of girls around. They had exhausted their bodies and their resources, and so they were soon forced to simply drop their plan and move on. Many people just moved out of the village and planned on avoiding it for the rest of their lives. After all, what was the point in staying somewhere where they would end up dying having never seen the sun? It seemed completely pointless, especially after all of the books in the chapel claimed that the sun would come after fifty years. Those fifty years passed without a sign of sun. Sixty years and still nothing. Seventy and they were starting to get anxious. Eighty and they had completely given up. Ninety and the population was down from seven-hundred residents to less than one-hundred. And then finally, they hit one-hundred years of famine and poverty just weeks before the sun finally came.

It was an absolute relief. Most of the people who were living in the village at that point were convinced that it was a dream to start with, but then several days passed and it was still sunny, and so they decided to hold a celebration. It was a celebration that was relatively small, since they hardly had enough food or money to hold something extravagant, but it was still a celebration that lasted for several days and nights. It was a celebration in which they invited as many people from nearby villages to join them, and it was one in which all worries were completely lost. It didn't matter how long the children stayed up, and general responsibilities were pushed aside for a full week in order to take advantage of their fortune. Any feuds that had been started prior to the celebration instantly dwindled away, and all debts were to be ignored from that point onwards. It was the perfect time to be alive, and they were all incredibly thankful for the fact that their god had blessed them with such riches.

But it didn't quite make sense, based on everything that was written in the books and other scriptures.

On the day that the rain had stopped, they anticipated the birth of a baby girl in the village. They double-checked that no one had given birth to a girl just before the storms ceased, and then waited patiently in the days that followed for the final pregnancy in the village to come to an end and give them a girl to celebrate. That was what all of the scriptures told them to expect. When the right girl was born, the god would reward them with the most beautiful weather and high fertility. The good weather always started in the few days surrounding the god's future wife's birthday. It was the way that it had always been, and it was the way that they'd expected it to continue.

But there were no girls born around that time. Not one. No girls had been born within a month either side of the famine's end. Only three boys were born in that period; three beautiful boys, frankly, but certainly not the girls that they required. So they needed to adopt a new theory to explain what had changed since the last time a wife was taken from the village. They quickly settled on the idea that the god's future wife was coming from a different village instead of their own. It was the only logical explanation. They were moving past a time of homophobia, so it didn't matter whether their god was attracted to men or women, but they would always end up having his children so the god's partner _had_ to be a girl. They waited in anticipation for her arrival for fifteen years. Every day, someone would check for signs of people turning up to the village. They would check for notices to see whether any of the nearby villages were suffering from such severe poverty that their people started to leave. Every day, they would be left waiting in anticipation for the following morning, when they would repeat their checks all over again.

Then a young boy broke the rut.

There was a rush of confusion when he finally spoke up during class about their god. They were learning about the form that the god took, as an introduction to their part in the process. Their first lesson was supposed to make them aware of the fact that someone would end up being taken by the god eventually and prepare them for the storms that would inevitably follow in fifty or so years. The teacher noticed that he seemed surprised by the image that was shown to the class and made sure to ask him what was troubling him. It was hardly like him to be so interested in such a particular part of the lesson, and so she was left curious by his response. "He's been visiting me in my dreams since I was thirteen," the boy replied quietly.

It was something that was simultaneously comforting and ominous. Comforting in the sense that they no longer needed to wait for some imaginary person to come into their community and assume the place that had always been taken by those who were born and raised there. Ominous in the sense that they had assumed that the god would have picked a girl still, just as he had in all other cases, but he had thrown yet another spanner in the works without any warning whatsoever. It wasn't even as if the god was suddenly female and had picked a male partner as a result of her maintained desires to reproduce. The tattered books in the chapel described the god as being someone who lived for up to five thousand years but there was no saying whether the rebirth of the god would mean that he could return as a goddess instead. They would probably never find out, though, seeing as the boy was insistent that the person who visited him was a man.

"He looks a bit different to the drawings," he pointed out when questioned by his parents and teachers. "He's quite tall and has a young face. He doesn't have any facial hair, and he's not as muscular as the man that I saw in class. But I knew it was him from the moment I saw him. I was filled with an unknown warmth in the pit of my stomach as soon as I saw the depiction of him, and then he confirmed it that night when he came to see me. He was concerned that I would be bothered if I knew that he was the god." That was all he would say about it. He didn't say what had happened with the god when he was thirteen, nor what had happened in the two years since. He didn't go into details about what they had spoken about or whether he would actually be carrying children for the god in any way, just like the girls before him had done. When quizzed about the different aspects of his relationship with the god, he would become irritable and not want to talk about everything that was going on in his world. He quickly became distant and uncomfortable, refraining from doing much work outside of class. He was drawn to the chapel, where he would spend most of his evenings and would speak out loud to the god, and he struggled to spend too much time around his parents before he got fidgety and had to leave the room.

It was as if he had changed completely. His family and friends no longer felt as if they truly knew him, and he certainly didn't make an effort to help them through that process. Instead, he insisted on being as isolated as possible, under the premise that 'Mingyu would be coming to take him soon enough'. In fact, his parents overheard him, on several occasions, begging for the god to take him sooner. He pleaded that he no longer fit in with the society around him and they didn't understand why he could hardly concentrate on his worldly experiences when he had so many upcoming responsibilities in the godly realm above. Of course, that was another thing that he refused to comment on when questioned, and so eventually he ended up simply locking himself in his bedroom until he was eventually taken, just as the others had done.

The experience of watching a young boy go through the process of being taken was something that left many of the people in the village feeling shocked or disturbed. It was nothing like how the scriptures described it. There were no naps in which he figured that he had a spontaneous connection with the god, and he wasn't left pregnant without warning. He wasn't given time to let his baby develop until the point where it only made sense to leave the village behind; instead, he was left there until the god had seemingly figured everything out around himself before eventually being invited to join him. It seemed like more of a companionship than a future marriage arrangement and honestly, no one really knew how to approach it. But sure enough, they were faced with the normal structure when it came to the famine. Just under sixty years after the boy was taken, the famine started. It was the same famine as the one that had hit for the hundred years prior to the boy's birth; complex and powerful and even more extreme than it had been when the god had been taking girls instead.

It only went to provide further evidence to suggest that perhaps this god was young and fresh. He seemed to still be unaware of how to control his powers, and he seemed to be particularly emotionally disturbed at the end of the pleasant period following the boy's departure from the village. In fact, that part alone was prompting theories that perhaps the girls and boy who had been taken were probably dying due to the normal range of human lifespans. Firstly, the length of time in which they went without famine had increased, proportional to the increase in overall nationwide lifespans, and secondly, the response seemed to be similar to grief this time. It was primarily rainy in the village with the occasional tornado here and there. Although most people in the village were reluctant to assign emotions to the weather, it seemed to be awfully fitting that the god would cause heavy rains to flood the village if he was upset by the loss of his loved one.

By the time that famine hit, they were well-prepared, though. They had had an additional ten years or so to prepare themselves for the famine that would inevitably come. They knew that it would arrive eventually, even if they had to wait longer for it, so they were all prepared for the moment it hit. It meant that that one wasn't that much of a struggle. They were living in a time in which non-perishable food items were becoming more readily available, and so it wasn't exactly a huge deal if they didn't have enough supplies to keep crops and livestock going. They would simply stock up on resources before the famine hit and have collective income and resources until the end of the famine. It meant that no one would have to starve or suffer, and so everyone was absolutely onboard with the idea. After all, they would be able to continue trade as soon as the famine was over. Tin cans were selling for relatively high prices, and the people of the village were more than happy to venture out into nearby villages to do the jobs that no one else wanted to do. If it meant picking up rubbish from the streets, they would do that. If it meant hand-picking fruit of clearing up animal faeces or learning how to work as mechanics to get a little bit of money coming in, that was what they would do.

It meant that they had a lot coming for the next generation. They would not only be able to see mostly sunshine and happiness during their lifetimes as the god found another lover and let his happiness flood the village, but they would already be in a better position when that lover eventually died. They would be able to support themselves and their families, and they didn't need to move out of the village when resources became scarce. It was the start of a new world for the people living there; as much as it was irritating to have long famine periods, they would be able to make it through without too much stress on any individuals. It simply became a part of life, and it was something that everyone soon took into their stride now that they had a method of dealing with that sort of thing. Prepare early and come together as a community.

The second male lover was very different to the first, as expected. He was very short in stature and relatively aggressive towards other people. He didn't like to get too close to anyone and didn't really have friends. He made sure to tell everyone that he was the one that their god wanted as his future husband from the age of around six or seven, and that they should keep away from him because he had the god on his side at all times. If anyone was to step out of line around him, his future husband would make sure that they suffered. It meant that a lot of kids were terrified of him, but that was how he liked things. Of course, it was inevitable that he started to get anxious as he got closer and closer to his leaving date. He announced right from a young age that he would be leaving a few days before his seventeenth birthday, but whilst it had initially sounded as if he was happily anticipating his final day, the worry soon started to penetrate him. He began to make confessions about absolutely everything that he could think of. He was only irritable because he didn't want to have to say goodbye to his friends or watch them die from above when he was with Mingyu. He'd offered up his body to Mingyu as soon as he hit sixteen years old, but the god had been hesitant to go too far with him, which left him feeling anxious about his body. The only thing that was comforting him was that his pet cat was almost at her time too, and so he would be able to live with her in Mingyu's house too, thus he wouldn't be completely separate from the things he loved.

The third was different again. Well-built and athletic. Very head-strong. Knew what he wanted to do in life. He wanted to become an academic when he was younger and had his entire career planned out before he'd even made it through junior school. Then he found out that he was supposed to be Mingyu's next lover and he was distraught. He knew that it was his duty to drop all of his ambitions on the spot, since they would never be able to be fulfilled. There was no way that the god was going to let him go to university, only to be apart from him for another few years. Especially if it turned out that there _was_ a limit on how long an individual could be alive in the god's home. In addition, it wasn't as if he would be able to get a job in academia anyway, since he would be living apart from the village, so it would be useless to waste precious time away from each other. But as much as he tried to convince himself that it was for the best that he drop his expectations as early as possible, he still ended up being miserable. It ended up taking around five years for him to finally accept it and decide that actually, it was for the best that he become Mingyu's husband. At least then he would get some sort of security and his quality of life would be assured.

Admittedly, none of Mingyu's male partners seemed to be all that happy. Perhaps it was a time difference or something. Perhaps the girls saw it as their duty to be the god's wife, whereas the boys saw it as an inconvenience. They didn't necessarily have specific plans for their future, other than the third one, but whatever their plan would have been, it sure as hell wouldn't have included spending the rest of their life with a god. Whilst some people would see that sort of experience as a blessing, more and more people in the village were starting to drift away from the idea that they needed to bow down to the god, and so it didn't seem as wonderful for young people to essentially become offerings to him as they developed into young adults.

No, more people were starting to believe that they could live in harmony with Mingyu, but they didn't necessarily have to treat him as if he was above them. There was no denying that he was real, seeing as there were countless books dedicated to him and more than a handful of people had had the opportunity to interact with him during their lifetimes, but he wasn't necessarily the sort of being that people wanted to devote their entire lives to anymore. There were other things that were more important than that in modern society. Education, career paths, families, settling down. They needed to experience life as much as they could, and so it seemed like a huge inconvenience to spend all of their time worrying about a god who probably wanted them to experience life as much as possible anyway. After all, he was experiencing his own life in that sort of way. He took lovers and had children, and he spent time grieving like a regular person. The only things that were superior about him were his ability to change the weather, his ability to communicate with people outside of their realm of consciousness, and the fact that he didn't live with them in their human world. Other than that, he was basically the same as them all.

That was probably why it wasn't such a great honour anymore. And it made complete sense, if everyone looked at it from a rational point of view. The thought of being taken by Mingyu should have been terrifying to everyone. They didn't know what would happen to them. It was assumed that they would live a life of luxury with him, where no other person would be able to harm them and all of their needs would be fulfilled whenever they arose. It could, however, be the case that Mingyu kept them prisoner and used them to simply get what they wanted. Those who left the village with him never returned with comforting words for the next person. There were no letters left behind, and it didn't appear that Mingyu's lovers were able to communicate with the rest of the village once they were in his world. Rationally, it seemed absolutely ridiculous to be excited by that sort of thing.

As it had been back when Mingyu was taking young girls as his wives and the mothers of his children, it was a rinse and repeat sort of procedure. Even as lifespans increased, the fertile periods and famine periods still had a relatively predictable structure. They knew when they should start stocking up in preparation for the droughts, rains, tornados and the sorts, and they knew when they should start expecting the famine to finish. Although sometimes it differed by a few years, it was relatively consistent. All they needed to do was prepare themselves for the changes in the environment around them, and that wasn't all that difficult as times changed. Technology became available. They were able to rebuild their houses bit by bit in order to survive the flooding. They were able to work out when to breed their animals and when to sell them to other villages. If they were unable to get out to the stables in order to feed any animals who remained, they had the ability to feed them at regular intervals using a specially-designed silo. It seemed as if it would be impossible to adapt to the weather issues that they were facing when the pastor's daughter was taken from the village, but modern day societies had the equipment and capabilities to handle that sort of thing.

It made for a generally stress-free time, other than for the people who were taken as Mingyu's partners. They were getting to be more and more down as time went on. Some of them claimed to not be attracted to men in the slightest, and others were already in relationships when they were taken. A few of them had decided that they wanted to marry for love and weren't all that fond of essentially being promised to the god, and some even considered going as far away as possible in order to avoid giving up their lives to Mingyu. But all in all, everyone who had been chosen ended up fulfilling their duties in the end. That was the rule of it. It wasn't certain whether they were faced with the threat of what would happen to the village if Mingyu didn't get his partner or whether they figured that it was in everyone's best interest not to risk it, but they always ended up doing as they were told. Between heartfelt goodbyes and tearful cuddles on the night that they were expected to disappear, it was just another thing that was added to the books for future generations to read.

So when Mr and Mrs Jeon finally had their second son - the only child born in the year that the famine stopped - the village instantly fell silent. They knew right away that he was going to end up hating the life that he was given, and there was a chance that he wouldn't even make it to the point where Mingyu came to collect it. Some boys had hinted towards it, others had tried to take their lives, but none had succeeded up until that point.

He was set back right from the start of his unfortunate life. He was the son of a family who had been struggling to make ends meet after the famines ended for generations. Whilst his parents could have had the chance to make a new start once this famine had finished, it was next to impossible now that their son was supposed to be the future husband of the god. They were hoping to raise enough money for their first son to attend university, whilst their second child would stay at home and help out with the farm work. It had been the plan ever since they married; they knew full well that their eldest was going to be the one with the good life, since it was owed to him after everything that he was forced to struggle through in the first four years of his life. Only living on processed foods, having to go out in the middle of a storm to help their cow give birth at just three years old, and now he was being forced to live in the background as his younger brother took the lead.

But now that their youngest son's birth had marked the end of the famine, they had to try to balance having a newborn, getting their eldest son educated, and earning some income. It was agreed right away that Mrs Jeon would spend her time at home and would try to look after the newborn Wonwoo whilst simultaneously supporting her elder son's education as best as possible. Mr Jeon, on the other hand, would tend to the animals in the early morning and late evening, and would then spend the rest of his day in the nearby villages. He would provide as much help to the people of those villages as possible, and would also try to get some experience in veterinary care. Although it required a degree to do a lot of the work, he was sure that he would be able to do little bits, such as arranging the medication and helping with birthing animals, since he already had some experience in the area.

The issue, though, was the fact that Wonwoo's future was predetermined. Everyone in the village knew right away that it would be a huge issue for him. They knew that he would grow up not wanting to be with Mingyu for his entire life. He was from a very head-strong family whose members weren't at all happy with the thought of being pushed around by anyone. Back around one-hundred and fifty years ago, his very distant grandfather had wanted to take up a career in the military. Yet, his wife fell pregnant with their first child and wasn't sure whether or not that child was going to be the one that Mingyu chose. He had been incredibly frustrated by the fact that he was being held back because of what some god wanted for the village as a whole, although he was hardly prepared to argue with his wife over that sort of thing. As it turned out, their child was not the one that Mingyu chose, and so he felt robbed when another child was eventually taken, almost sixteen years later. He had almost ended up leaving on the spot.

Likewise, his grandmother knew what she wanted and wasn't prepared to be pushed around by any men. She had a number of men demanding her hand in marriage, and so she spat on them. The last thing she wanted was to have a man who thought he owned her, or that she owed him something. She didn't want to feel as if she was obliged to settle down, and she didn't want to feel as if her perfect wedding was going to be hijacked by someone who probably wasn't going to last as it was. Her main policy in life was that if she was ever stuck in a relationship with a man who abused her, she would leave him right away, but if he abused her children or pets, she would stick a bullet through her head. And she was far from being just talk. Her first husband spanked her child on the rear for trying to talk to him as soon as he got home from work, so she took him out with a rifle as he slept. Based on community rules, though, she wasn't sentenced to any time in prison. First of all, her children would have nowhere to go and most families in the village were too poor to be able to feed another mouth. Secondly, it was seen as self-defence; after all, if he thought that it was appropriate to hit their children over something so ridiculous, it was only a matter of time before he raised his hand - or some other weapon - to her too.

And then there was his father. He knew that he could get some sort of help. He knew that their family would probably be able to get some food in a collection, or would be able to get everyone else to pay towards their sons' tuition fees if they ever wanted to attend university. He also knew, however, that it would result in their family name being looked on with negativity if he did such a thing. They would be the family who sponged from everyone else, and it would affect both of his childrens' futures in the village if he was to do that. So he simply buckled down and worked harder. It didn't matter that he and his wife hardly saw each other, or that she was at home most of the time looking after two young children. It didn't matter that he didn't get to see his children grow up. It was fine that he only ever saw his eldest son's school achievements if they were pinned to the fridge or left out on his armchair for whenever he got home. It hurt a bit to know that he missed Wonwoo's first laugh and first word and first step, but he knew that it would be worth it in the end to see his son succeed.

Surely enough, Wonwoo's brother would probably be in the same position as the relatives before him. As much as his brother was going to be the one to spend his life with Mingyu and would essentially be the talk of the town as soon as their god confirmed it with him in his teen years, Wonwoo's brother would surely want to make something good of himself too. He had a strong interest in education already and although he was convinced that he wanted to continue working with his parents on the farm at age four, Mr Jeon made sure to push the idea of training in veterinary medicine to him. At least that way, he would be able to continue working with them, but would also have some good skills that would be useful for outside of their village. He would be able to make their entire family proud, even if the rest of the village was to overlook him in favour of his brother.

Finally, it was thought that Wonwoo would be reluctant to lie down and accept the fate that was pressed down on him by Mingyu. Wonwoo's start to life was a difficult one, and everyone knew it. Between the weight of expectations and the pressure of poverty, his fate was essentially handed over to everyone _other_ than Wonwoo himself. It was the reality that he was going to have to face, as unfair as it was. At least, though, if Mingyu took him away, the poverty would trickle away and he would simply have to live his life focusing on the inevitable expectations instead.


	3. Chapter 3

Right from the moment that Wonwoo had been born, his parents had made the mutual decision that they wouldn't bring up Mingyu. They didn't want him to know about the god too soon into his life, and the last thing they wanted was to create a situation in which he felt as if he was obliged to comply to the god's wishes because he'd been chosen from birth to be his future partner. No, they were adamant that they wanted to shelter him from that sort of thing right away. If he mentioned Mingyu and wanted to know more, they obviously wouldn't try to stop him from learning more, but it was to be a secret until then. The god's name was banned in their house, and so they managed to keep him relatively sheltered from that sort of life right from the start of his childhood.

In fact, they even managed to convince the other people in the village to do the same thing, but to a lesser degree. Obviously they weren't going to police everyone around them and insist that they act as if Mingyu didn't exist, but they politely asked that they didn't bring up the fact that Wonwoo was chosen by Mingyu. If he asked, they were to direct him towards his parents, who would explain everything to him on the spot. The last thing they wanted was for him to get a sense of the societal pressure for him to be the perfect spouse for their god. After all, even though no one could really influence the outcome, they knew right away that if something bad happened to Wonwoo, the village could be thrust straight back into another famine period right away. If their theory about the weather being linked to the god's grievances, surely it would be awful for the village if Wonwoo passed away and Mingyu was left feeling heartbroken over it.

It meant that they were stepping on eggshells when the topic of Mingyu came up, though. Wonwoo was an incredibly bright child and he caught onto the fact that they were avoiding talking about something in front of him right away. He didn't need them to explicitly say it for him to realise that there was something that they didn't want him to know. He was very aware of that by the age of around six or seven years old. And sure, he fully understood that sometimes there were adult topics that he wasn't allowed to know about at his age. He would sometimes hear his parents whispering about things under their breaths so that he couldn't hear what they were discussing from outside of the room, which he eventually found meant that it was a secret that he wouldn't know about. Likewise, if the other adults in their family discussed certain things, his mom would clap her hands over his ears so that he couldn't involve himself. He completely understood that.

The thing that bothered him, though, was when he heard other children talking with adults and then suddenly they would stop as soon as he walked into the room. They wouldn't even make it subtle either. It wasn't as if they'd just happened to reach the natural close of the discussion as he entered the room. They instead stopped very abruptly and made sure that he knew that the information wasn't for him to know. And for a six-year-old who was brimming with curiosity, it was frustrating to know that everyone seemed to have a huge secret that he wasn't allowed to know. So he withdrew. He started to read more. It began as an attempt to better his skills, but by the time he was eight years old, he was reading full-length novels for pleasure. At least if he indulged himself in the fantasy world of the books, he wouldn't have to feel obliged to talk to those people who refused to talk in front of him.

His parents had had good intentions, but those intentions just hadn't worked that well at all. That was the issue. As much as they tried to make sure that Wonwoo was sheltered but not overly restricted, it was a difficult move and it meant that he was left feeling as if he couldn't trust anyone. Arguably, it might have been true. 

Whilst he had grown up figuring that there were adult things that he wasn't allowed to know, he didn't really think that his friends would act in the same way towards him. Everyone was perfectly friendly to him for the longest time, granted, but as soon as they went into the third year of their primary school - just a few months before his ninth birthday - he found that the attitudes towards him completely flipped. Considering that he already knew his class and had spent two years with them before they returned to school that year, he didn't exactly anticipate that he would be in a position where they would be talking about him behind his back too. He thought that it would all be fine; after all, they weren't adults so they had nothing to talk about as if it was a secret. But it seemed as if the other children had heard things from their friends and families, and so they were added into the extended secret.

By that point, Wonwoo was certain that he was a part of the reason why they couldn't tell him the secret. There was no other reason why they would be whispering behind their hands and staring at him as they did so. There would be no reason why the other children - his peers and good friends - would tell him that it was nothing when he tried to ask them what was wrong. Each time he would ask about it, he would be faced with guilty glances before they informed him that it wasn't a big deal. It was the most obvious thing in the _world_ that they were talking about him, and it stung more than anything he'd ever experienced in his life up until that point. Knowing that he wouldn't be able to go to university like his big brother stung. Seeing baby animals dying on the farm occasionally stung. Hearing his mother and father fighting in the kitchen when they thought he was asleep stung. But none of those things hurt more than knowing that the village had a sort of extended secret that he wasn't allowed to know.

So he ended up bringing it up with his parents in the end. He had to take some time to build up the confidence, seeing as he figured that it would lead to a huge discussion, but eventually he managed to mentally prepare himself and so he promptly made his way to his parents' room one Saturday morning to discuss what was going on around him. "Mother, Father," he called in as he gave a gentle knock to the door. He was promptly called in and asked if he wanted to sit down, since they anticipated his need to talk already, and so he found an empty chair and took a seat.  
"What's on your mind, Wonwoo?" his mother asked, although he could see that she already had an idea of why he wanted to talk to them so badly that he couldn't wait until they were in the main room.

"The other children in my class won't play with me anymore," he informed them. His parents exchanged a glance and although it was a very small shift in expressions, he could tell that they both seemed alarmed by the information.  
"What happened? Did you upset someone?"  
"Not as far as I know. But they keep whispering behind their hands whenever I'm around and it's making me think that I might have done something wrong." Again, they glanced at each other. By that point, there was no denying that they knew what was causing the response from his peers.  
"Have you tried asking them why they're responding to you in that way?" his mother asked. Her tone sounded hopeful for a fraction of a second but as soon as Wonwoo shook his head, he could see her entire expression deflate. "So no one is telling you what you did to upset them?"

For a moment, it sounded as if she was going to let him know the secret. Her tone was suggestive, as if she knew something that would comfort him but she didn't know whether she should bring it up. Wonwoo waited for a moment as he tried to interpret whether or not he was going to stand a chance of finding that sort of thing out, but he quickly figured that he'd spent enough time hyping himself up for the discussion to avoid asking the questions that he needed to ask so he promptly got straight to the point instead of pausing for much longer. "Do you know why they would be talking about me behind my back and acting as if I did something bad? I don't think I did anything bad, so I don't like that they're treating me like I'm evil or something."

"Wonwoo," his father replied, obviously trying to make his voice sound sympathetic. He failed badly at it, instead sounding more pitiful than anything else. "I think it's best if you just ignore them. They just want someone to bully and they think that you'll make a good target. I'd suggest that maybe you should take your books into school or something; read whenever you feel like it so that you don't have to worry yourself with the ridiculous things that they're saying. Children are nasty and they just want to make you feel bad about yourself." Wonwoo's heart instantly dropped. It was so unbelievably _clear_ that both of his parents knew what was happening, yet they still avoided the topic. He knew that he shouldn't push it too far, even though he had been hinting that he wanted to know what the big secret was, and so he simply ended up thanking them for their time and leaving the room as quickly as he could.

So in the end, he simply resorted to doing as they said.

Wonwoo was already incredibly introverted as it was, but it only got worse with time. Instead of spending his time playing with the other children in his class, he resorted to simply sitting in the corner of the playground with his book instead. Just a single book with a worn-out spine, rubbing his fingertips over the creases on the cover. His thumb would gently rub against the soft paper whenever he felt the need for comfort, and he would make sure to tuck himself up as tightly as possible so that he wasn't in anyone else's way. From the moment he finished eating his lunch to the moment the bell rang to say that they needed to get back to class, he would be tucked away and left to indulge himself in the world of his stories. His imagination started to replace the need for friends, and he stopped noticing how more and more children were whispering behind their hands whenever they walked past him.

It eventually ended up developing further until he was left daydreaming in class, too. By the time he'd moved up a year group, his grades had dropped significantly, since he was spending more of his time reading than anything else. He insisted to his parents that he was reading for his schoolwork whenever they asked why he wasn't doing his homework, and he would make sure to hide in his room whenever possible so that he wasn't forced to leave the beautiful imagery that flooded his mind every time he picked up a book. In fact, the only subject that he passed with high grades - even higher than what most of the children in the year above were achieving - was Korean. His language and literature grades were absolutely outstanding, and it was with good reason. The big issue, though, was that it quickly developed until reading was taking over every waking minute outside of his classes. He would read and eat. He would read as he was on the toilet. His baths would frequently grow cold as he sat there for hours and read a book from cover to cover. He knew that it was his strong point, and so he would go out of his way to work on the subject.

Of course, it soon started to worry his parents. Nothing that they did was able to help their son to move away from the books. He had taken the suggestion to read too literally, and now he was disinterested in every other person around him. They tried to engage him with his cousins, but he would spend the entire time thinking about his stories. They tried holding a birthday party for him for his tenth birthday, but he simply avoided inviting anyone from his class and instead just sat with a book in his hand. They expected him to be disappointed in the fact that no one turned up, but he was relieved. It meant that he didn't need to feel obliged to act as if he enjoyed their company.

And then even when the whispers stopped and the grew bored of the fact that they could make Wonwoo squirm with the mystery of their words, he was still reluctant to chat with anyone. Paired work at school became impossible. Whenever he was asked to do group work in class, he simply did everything that he was told to do independently. The end result was just as good, though, so the teacher could hardly complain. All she could really do was remind him that he was supposed to have done it with a partner, but Wonwoo would still continue to avoid unnecessary communication the next time around too. It was a neverending battle, but the teachers were reluctant to punish him for it.

In fact, _everyone_ seemed to be reluctant to punish him, for that matter.

Wonwoo hadn't exactly seen it when he was younger, but he realised just before his eleventh birthday that something was very different about his upbringing than his brother's and peers' upbringings. It was only when he saw his older brother being scolded for sneaking out of the house and coming back late that he realised that he couldn't recall a single occasion in which he had been scolded. It would have been fair enough if he'd never done anything wrong, but he'd done plenty and had never once had an adult tell him off for how he'd behaved. Even when he read in class or had obviously not been paying attention to what he'd been told, they simply let him get on with it. It was almost as if no one noticed what he was doing.

So he decided to test it out for himself. He figured that if he snuck out and did what his brother had done, he would certainly get scolded. It would prove that either he'd not deserved punishment in the past or it had genuinely been overlooked, or it would show that he was getting special treatment for whatever reason. He made sure to wait for a month or so in order to let his parents forget how his brother had snuck out of the house and got punished - or at least to allow the memory become more distant - and then he promptly made sure to sneak out just before dinner one day. It was completely without warning and he'd planned it so that they would definitely realise that he was missing at some point. During that time, he simply made his way across to the other side of their village and sat behind a tree with a book. He read the first half of the book, which totalled at one-hundred and ninety-three pages, before gradually making his way back home. Even then, though, he ensured that he took his time. There was no rush to return; after all, he could only be late back once, and it ensured that they would have definitely had enough time to search for him.

But when he arrived home, the atmosphere was very different to how it had been when his brother disappeared. There was no awkward tension as his parents saw him entering, and no immediate sense that they were so angry that they were calm. Instead, they both jumped up from their seats and made their way over to him. His mother hugged him tightly as she began to tear up from relief, and then his father pulled him into an embrace that was just as firm - something that he would never usually do. "Where have you been?" his mother exclaimed once she'd managed to calm her tears slightly. "We've been so worried about you! We thought that someone might have..." Wonwoo anticipated the end of the sentence, but it never came. Instead, she simply hugged him again and repeated that she was worried for his safety, before asking that he never scare her like that again.

He glanced over to his brother, hoping that he would end up receiving some scorn for not only disappearing, but also not receiving the same punishment that he had received. Instead, he noticed that his brother was giving the same worried look at him. He didn't dare to move from his seat and get in the way of the exchange between his brother and parents, but he definitely seemed to be just as concerned. It was something that bothered Wonwoo even more. Sure, his brother was probably worried about him too, but he'd literally done the exact same thing as he had done a month earlier and had received no punishment at all for it. They weren't the closest, so it wasn't like his irritation would have outweighed his love for his younger brother, but there wasn't even a hint of scorn in his expression. Wonwoo wanted nothing more than for his brother to announce that it wasn't fair and that he hated the fact that Wonwoo was never punished, but that outburst never came. Wonwoo was just handed his dinner and offered a seat on the sofa, where he ate his food and then made his way straight to bed.

Nothing more really happened for a few months. Wonwoo was left in his thoughts for the most part. He knew that there was a huge secret that no one would tell him. He knew that he was receiving special treatment from not only the adults around him, but also his parents. He knew that the other children he'd grown up with didn't seem to like him as such. He knew that the only thing he could trust was the words that were scrawled in his books. Love stories and mystery novels and psychological horrors. They may have been fictional books, but they taught him about values and relationships and how people should be treated more than anyone had taught him before. It was the sort of information that he longed to receive from the other people around him, but had never really had the chance to hear.

In fact, the only thing that really changed in those months was his relationship with his brother. Whilst there still wasn't the scorn and anger that Wonwoo had been anticipating as time moved on, they grew closer following his attempts at being punished. And as much as they _hadn't_ really been all that close when they were growing up, it was still very much true that Wonwoo's brother didn't treat him all that differently to how a normal sibling would treat him. If he was specifically being bullied at school when he was younger, his brother would step in to fight the bullies. If he was feeling sad or hurt, his brother would be there to comfort him. During nightmares, they would still share a bed. If he was still hungry after a meal, his brother would give him a little bit of his food to eat. They would sneak outside before breakfast occasionally to spend time with the animals, and they would even spend time reading together.

In time, his brother was the only person who Wonwoo spoke to on a regular basis. He became the person who helped him to bring his grades up, too. Wonwoo saw a dramatic increase in his mathematics and science grades in particular when he was taught to put down the literature books for a little while, and then his art, life skills, Mandarin and agriculture grades soon followed. Even though he was well behind the rest of his class in those subjects, as a result of having not paid attention at all for so long, his brother somehow managed to teach him everything that he could remember about the subjects until he was up to speed. It left Wonwoo feeling unbelievably grateful, and so their bond eventually developed into something that was stronger than the relationship between most siblings of their age.

It meant that with time, he wasn't even afraid to mention his worries to his brother. Although he was nervous to start with, just in case mentioning the whispers and delicate behaviour that was aimed towards him was still stepping on eggshells around his brother, he soon came to realise that perhaps it was best to talk it through with someone like him. They shared parents, so it wasn't as if he was being told not to say anything by another adult, and he was probably the most trustworthy person in Wonwoo's life. So he simply came out with it one day, making sure to emphasise that he wasn't in the mood to hear the usual dismissal that he would hear from everyone around him.

"You know, Mother and Father keep pressuring me to make some friends, but I'm really struggling to make friends at the moment because everyone's been whispering about me in plain sight," he told him as he made a point of emphasising his sigh. "I just feel absolutely useless all of the time. I feel like everyone hates me, but I can't figure out what I've done to make them hate me so much. And even though there are fewer whispers now, it doesn't mean that anyone wants to be my friend still." His brother remained completely silent as he proceeded to vent out all of his feelings but at the end of it, he simply gave a sigh of defeat before rubbing a hand over his face. Wonwoo waited in anticipation, knowing full well that his sob story had made his brother crack, and he was absolutely thrilled when he received the response that he had been longing for so badly for so many years.

"Look, I'm sick of the way that everyone treats you like a child, Wonwoo. I'm sick of the way that no one will tell you what's happening, and that you're clearly miserable because you've just had years of whispers in the background. I think it's ridiculous and as your brother, I feel obliged to make sure that you're on the same page as everyone else. I don't want you to feel bad about this any longer." Wonwoo couldn't have been happier. He listened intently to his brother's plan to help him understand the world around him, right up until the point where he claimed that they would need to sneak out together. It was a huge risk, but he promised an even bigger payoff. So Wonwoo simply nodded. He agreed that he would sneak out with his brother in the middle of the night, so long as he had everything planned and knew what he was doing. And if it ended up being some elaborate plan, in which his brother wanted him out of the picture and this was his chance to get rid of him, he would simply pretend that it was his fault that he was lost in the middle of nowhere for the night. He wouldn't fight poor behaviour with snitching, and that would certainly make his brother feel guilty.

He went to bed when he was told and tucked himself straight into bed. To start with, he pretended that he was asleep, since he knew that their parents would check up on him in about a half-hour or so and he needed to look as if he was genuinely asleep by that point, but then he simply snatched up his night light so that he could sit and read for a while. He didn't know how long had passed, but it felt as if he'd been up for hours when eventually he noticed the bedroom door opening from the corner of his eye. He snapped towards the door, freezing in complete fear as he tried to come up with some sort of excuse as to why he was still awake at such a ridiculous hour, but then he quickly realised that the fuzzy figure in the doorway was much too small to be either of his parents. It was his elder brother, who quickly made his way into the room and told him to put a pillow in his bed to make it look as if he was curled up tightly under the covers. He did as instructed, and then they promptly made their way through the house as quietly as they possibly could.

Although leaving the house seemed like the most terrifying part, Wonwoo couldn't help but feel even more uncomfortable when they got outside into the street. Their house was a short walk away from the main village, since they needed the room for the livestock, and so they ended up having to plod as quietly as they could away from the house. It proved to be a particularly difficult job, due to the fact that it was pitch-black and Wonwoo couldn't even see where he was stepping most of the time, but they soon managed to reach the connecting path and made their way onto the better lit pathways of the village community areas.

It was almost surreal to see it all in the dark. Wonwoo could see the eerie shapes of the shadows cast over the stock in each of the shops, and it all felt uncomfortably gothic. Everything from hanging animal carcasses to partially-dressed mannequins, creating long shadows over the shop. It gave the impression that the street was abandoned, rather than simply being closed, and so Wonwoo quickly resorted to keeping his eyes forward so that he couldn't let his imagination wander too far. He gripped his brother's hand tightly and allowed himself to be led straight through the town and to an area that he'd never really seen before. It was outside of the main town area and it was surrounded by a perfectly arranged graveyard. The headstones were lined up around a huge building, which Wonwoo assumed would have had a number of floors when it was first built. It was a building that he'd never really seen before and frankly, it would have been incredibly out of place if it was still in use. Yet, he still felt an unusual sensation in his chest that drew him towards it, as if his heart knew that that was exactly where his brother was taking him. Sure enough, they moved in the direction of the building, although Wonwoo's brother made sure to take him around the back rather than the front.

Through the back door, it seemed like a very traditional house. The doors were made from sliding walls, and the floors were made from traditional mats. Each of the rooms was connected to the main one, although there was also a broken set of stairs in one corner, which suggested that perhaps there were a few floors to the building. Yet, the house wasn't quite the focus and Wonwoo knew that. It was whatever was at the front of the building that mattered the most, and that was what his brother was taking him to see. He led Wonwoo through one of the sliding doors and then informed him that they should really take their shoes off before continuing through the building. However, it seemed to be just his thoughts leaking outside of his mind, as he added that the last thing they wanted to do was get caught and end up losing their shoes, and so he proceeded into the next room without another word.

The first thing that Wonwoo noticed was that it was huge. The room was bigger than any other room that he'd seen in his entire life. It was twice the size of their temple, and it was absolutely filled to the brim with benches. There were at least twenty or thirty rows of benches with a gap in the middle - presumably for people to walk through - and three benches on either side. Granted, they weren't the biggest benches in the world, but they were still pretty damn long. Wonwoo took a few more steps into the room and began to look at the items that had been left behind. Whoever had been there last had left it in an unusual state. There were a few items of clothing dotted around the room, but there wasn't any rubbish. There were a multitude of little figurines and statues on one side of the room, but there were no signs of wear and tear in the room, as if it had been newly refurbished before it had been abandoned. He made his way over to the first bench on the front right side, diagonal from the door. For some reason, he felt obliged to sit down on that specific bench, although he didn't quite know why. Perhaps it was just an unconscious desire to be close to the front of the room, but from a position where he didn't feel as if he was too close to the door if someone was to find them there.

So he took a seat. His hands ran over the wood of the bench as he looked up towards the ceiling. It was a bit of a disappointment to see that there was no stained glass or pretty designs on the ceiling, but he supposed that it probably wouldn't have survived the adverse weather if it was built up to look pretty. It was a practical plain ceiling instead, and he supposed that that was for the best. Wonwoo's fingertips soon brushed against a bump on the bench as he was trying to reason with the lack of decoration above him, and he immediately glanced down to see what might have caused the chips in the wood. Although he couldn't see what it said, he very quickly caught on to the fact that the crevices spelt out words. He closed his eyes and traced his fingertips over the letters.

F E I + G Y U

"Mingyu."  
"What?" Wonwoo's eyes snapped open and he stared at his brother in surprise.  
"What?" he echoed.  
"Wonwoo, you said something."

It hadn't registered that he was the one who had spoken out loud. The name had flooded his mind and started suffocating him from the inside, leaving him in a position where he needed to let it surface. He didn't know why it had come out - after all, that wasn't quite the name that was scratched into the bench - but it was a name that was uncomfortably familiar to him. He curled his hand up so that it was balled into a fist, and then promptly took in a deep breath. The stale air of the room suddenly left his lungs burning, as if the room had suddenly sucked every last bit of air out of his body and left him deprived. He could feel himself instantly starting to pant as he tried his hardest to catch his breath. There was an uncomfortable pressure on the front of his chest, but he tried his best to ignore it as much as possible. It was probably just his imagination or something, he figured.

 _"Baby."_ Wonwoo felt a shiver run straight up his spine, as if the door had suddenly opened and let the cool air of the night burst into the room. He swore he heard a whisper behind him in the faintest voice, but he couldn't bring himself to check. It was uncomfortable enough that they were in an abandoned building, now that he was thinking about it, so the last thing he wanted to do was scare himself by overthinking everything. There was no way that he was going to let his imagination take over. Especially not when he had so many books about what happened to people who intruded where they weren't supposed to intrude late at night. He took in another gasping breath as he tried to steady his thoughts, and then promptly turned towards his brother.

"Why are we out here?" he finally asked, already feeling defeated. His brother slowly made his way over and sat down next to him, then promptly took his hand again.  
"Don't you feel something whilst you're here?" he asked. Wonwoo couldn't lie and say that he didn't feel some sort of difference. Perhaps that was part of the reason and he wouldn't find out what was happening if he didn't confess to it. So he gave a little nod and an awkward smile in his brother's direction and then watched as he closed his eyes. "Did you notice the huge statue at the front of the room? He's pretty creepy, huh?" Admittedly, Wonwoo _hadn't_ noticed the statue, but when he turned his head to look, he suddenly felt sick.

There was an uneasy sensation in the pit of his stomach; a strange feeling of impending doom. He felt as if something was about to happen, and his body still was sure that it was going to end badly. He didn't know whether his anxiety was justified, though, or whether it was a completely unnecessary response to whatever was happening, but he suddenly felt as if he needed to get out of the building. "It's a temple, isn't it?" he asked his brother, trying his hardest not to let his voice quake.  
"Uh huh." That was it. That was all of the response. It was as if he was expecting Wonwoo to put together the pieces of a puzzle that he'd never seen before, but he couldn't quite figure out what he was doing. His adrenaline was spiking very fast, and he could feel his heart starting to race in response to the situation. For some reason, it felt as if the walls were closing in on him and trying to trap him there, and it was probably the worst experience of his life. But the statue stayed still, with colourless eyes boring holes into his skull and dark bronze features dissolving against the walls, and the room stayed just as quiet as it had been throughout their stay there.

"I don't know what's happening," Wonwoo finally said as he tried to create a few more inches of distance between himself and the statue. For now, it had his gaze locked, as if he was some sort of animal being trapped by a predator. It was out to snatch him up and rip out his throat and leave him to bleed out. Wonwoo had that sense lingering in his mind and knew that this statue - as inanimate as it was - had no good intentions. "Is that... is that Mingyu?" he eventually asked when his brother failed to respond to his comment. Seemingly, he'd been completely correct, as his brother jolted up, the walls seemed to expand outwards again, and the gaze of the statue felt as if it shifted.  
"It's Mingyu, yeah. Do you know anything about him?" he asked. "Anything at all? Any sort of... I don't know... _feeling_ that you might have about him?"

_Hou. Na. Sheng. Ji. Lihu. Bok. Chunja. Youngsook. Hwaja. Ilsung. Youngho. Jungn--_

The names that filled his mind caught him off-guard. Wonwoo could feel the pressure of oncoming tears starting to form behind his eyes. He shut them in hopes of stopping the tears from forming, but they fell anyway and left his cheeks painted with wet stripes. He couldn't explain the feelings that had hit him so suddenly, even if he was given the chance to do so. There was a dull pain forming in his chest, and his head was suddenly swimming with words. He understood them, even though he couldn't bring himself to repeat them out loud. He took in one shaky breath before whispering the only thing that stood out in his mind.

"He's the man I'm going to marry, isn't he? Is he why everyone hates me?"


	4. Chapter 4

Jeon Wonwoo was always a humble boy, right from the moment he became vocal. He was always taught to treat other people with respect, and it was an important part of their family unit to share and avoid being greedy. They couldn't afford to live in a world where one family member thought they were better than the others, and that still applied after he figured out that he was the person who would be married to their god in a few years.

He didn't really know whether to bring it up or not, to start with. On one hand, it showed off that he knew his place in society and he understood why there were so many whispers about him whenever people thought that he couldn't hear them. It would show that he knew that it wasn't something wrong with him but rather, something right with him. Sure, everyone may have felt bad for him when they realised that his life was essentially mapped out for him, but he wasn't sad about his outcome and he was willing to embrace it as best as possible. He wanted to make sure that their village would be happy and free from famine, and so he didn't care whether he would be able to do the sorts of things that other boys of his age did. It didn't matter if he needed to refrain from going to university, avoid romantic relationships, or stay sin-free for the rest of his life. If that was what they all needed, he was fine with that.

On the other hand, though, it could have easily come across as bragging. The other children around him weren't all that fond of him in the first place, it seemed, so the last thing he really wanted to do was make them dislike him even more. In that sense, it would make more sense to avoid mentioning it whatsoever, even to his parents. He knew that he was already mentally strong enough to continue how he was living before he found out about Mingyu because he now had the answers. There was no stress from guessing, and there was no anxiety caused by the idea that they knew something he didn't know. He could hold his head up high and avoid dropping his humble appearance, and he would simply make it seem as if he wasn't affected by it anymore. Perhaps then a lot of them would stop talking about him.

In the end, he decided that the latter option was the best choice. It was strange because he had never really considered how that sort of knowledge may have changed his life permanently, but he was relieved to find that very little actually changed when he was in the swing of it all. Sometimes he would hear the odd comment whispered behind his back, but he always assumed that it would be the same thing still. After all, they didn't really have anything else to whisper about him. If he was a girl, he thought, it would probably be a different story. Girls were still seen as being weird if their aspirations included staying pure and developing mentally so that she could hold intellectually stimulating conversations with her future husband. Wonwoo naturally didn't have those sorts of restrictions, and so he was left to get on with his own devices as always. A book in his hand whenever he had the free time, and a pen in his hand when he was caught up in his school work. His grades continued to grow without taking him from his stories for too long, and that was exactly what he needed.

But then again, he quickly figured that the best way forward was to dedicate at least a _little_ bit of his life to Mingyu, too. He figured that he owed it to his future husband, seeing as he would know everything about Wonwoo when they married but Wonwoo wouldn't know everything about him.

It started out with research. Wonwoo took note of the librarian's frozen expression as he approached the counter with a stack of six books about their god. "I'm getting these for a school project about the god Mingyu and the theoretical basis for his ability to change the weather," he explained coolly, watching how her shock quickly changed to warmth. "I'm hoping to get the best grade in the class, so I need to get as many books as possible about him. I hope you don't mind if I keep these for a week. By that point, I will have finished reading them." The librarian quickly nodded and allowed him to take them all with him, and so he happily trotted home with them tucked tightly to his chest, ignoring the looks that he received from other people on the streets as he did so. He knew exactly what they were thinking when they saw him walking with them, and he wasn't about to dignify himself by giving them the same story. The only thing in his sight was to get home and open the books right away so that he would have as much knowledge as possible before he was contacted.

The books told him essentially everything that he needed to know. He was to anticipate contact in around two years, when he finally hit thirteen years old, and then he would end up spending a little bit of time courting the god before eventually being taken away from his family. There was nothing in the book to tell him what would happen after Mingyu took him in, nor did it specify where he would end up going, but he didn't really mind all that much. It meant that it was going to be a bit more of an adventure and even though that thought was arguably quite scary, it was something that he was going to force himself to enjoy. After all, his brother would be going to university but Wonwoo would otherwise be stuck in their village for the vast majority of his life instead. He would take over on the farm whenever his brother was away, and would then end up opening his own farm or doing manual labour to support his own family. That was just the way of life and it couldn't be helped, but he did get the feeling that he wanted that little bit of exploration.

Once he had finished those books, he made his way back and gathered more. Then once he was finished with _those_ books, he took the final few from the library and read them in as much detail as he could. They were the thicker books, highlighting all of the theories about Mingyu's life and how he must have grown in the community. It involved theories of how he might not have taken a romantic partner earlier because he hadn't yet reached sexual maturity until that point - which was something they were all certain gods would experience too - but that after he was reincarnated, he developed incredibly quickly until he was a full-grown, mature adult in record time again. They weren't sure how many children he had or whether those children were immortal, but there was a suggestion that in theory, he should have hundreds of children. It was thought that he would have at least one child a year with the person he chose as his partner until he eventually started to take boys instead of girls, but even then, there were some suggestions that perhaps he had a way of getting boys pregnant too.

The one thing the books did highlight for him was the fact that so little was actually known about Mingyu. Sure, they had communicated with him in the early days, when he was in the process of taking his first partner and got her impregnated whilst she was sat in the church with him, but there was very little notable communication after she had been taken. The only real communication was through the people he took as his partners and even then, it was questionable whether what they said to the community was actually true about Mingyu. There was a chance that they were putting their own spin on something that he had said, or that they were completely exaggerating it in order to make their god sound better than he was. It was something that Wonwoo considered very carefully. If a lot of the people he took were people who were struggling emotionally, surely what they said should have been taken with a pinch of salt in the first place.

Wonwoo anticipated that once he had finished the books, his thirst for knowledge would be quenched enough to last him until he eventually managed to make contact with Mingyu. Perhaps then, he would be able to find some more information out and let everyone know more about his future husband. That way, he would not only feel better about the fact that he was doing his bit and helping everyone out, but it would hopefully make everyone remember him in a positive light when he was gone. It would be the starting point for improvement within their community, and maybe it would even help to reduce or remove the adverse weather problems that would ultimately follow his life with Mingyu.

Of course, it was only really a matter of time before he eventually read the books to death and was left having memorised a lot of the pages. He knew the index inside and out, and was able to find any one fact he needed without even having to take a look at what page he would find it. Eventually, it got to the point where he could no longer gain any new knowledge by rereading the books again, even though he genuinely wanted to learn more, and so he ended up coming up with a new tactic to move forward.

Although the old temple was out of bounds, seeing as it was an old building and it was severely weather-damaged, meaning that it would have easily fallen to the ground at any point in time, Wonwoo figured that that was his next point of call. Sure, there was a new temple with a silver statue of Mingyu placed proudly at the head of the room, but it felt very different to be inside that temple. He didn't get the strange vibe that Mingyu was there with him, and that was what he really wanted. So he made sure to search for a flashlight and a handful of batteries in one of the old cupboards at home and then decided to make his way out one night to investigate the temple further. He knew that it was probably a huge mistake, since they wouldn't be able to find him if he _did_ end up being crushed to death by the building, but he figured that it was a risk that he was more than willing to take. After all, it meant that he would probably be able to find things that he hadn't seen beforehand. And if it really _was_ the original temple, in which the books said the first wife of Mingyu lived, there could have easily been things in the house that no one had ever read before in their lives.

He could feel his heart pounding in his chest as he made his way over to the temple and in through the back entrance, just as they did the first time. He started by searching the areas on the ground floor for any signs of reading materials, but quickly found that a lot of it had been damaged in the various floods that had plagued the village over and over again. Although it was on raised land and the water hadn't ended up corroding much of the place, the only papers he found were clumped together and hard. There was no way that he was going to be able to break them apart and have them make it and besides, he didn't even need to open the books to see that the ink was faded from its time in the water. Thankfully, it seemed as if they were reading books instead of anything relating to Mingyu, though, so it wasn't really that much of a big deal.

Next, he decided to try the stairs. It was something that honestly made Wonwoo nervous because he knew right away that they weren't going to take his weight. The first two steps had completely crumbled as it was, so he was going to have to be incredibly careful, and then the wood on a few of the other steps was split. It meant that it was a huge risk to make his way upstairs but he knew that he needed to do it; after all, it was his mission to find out as much as possible about Mingyu and that included seeing if he could find anything that was written by his first wife.

He stood there for a moment, considering how he was going to get up to the third step without putting so much weight on one leg that he fell straight through. Eventually, he decided on dragging one of the chairs over to the stairs so that he could stand on it and boost himself up from there. The chair wasn't much better, but he figured that it was probably a lot safer than trying to hop over two steps in one go. He tested his weight on the chair before deciding that it was fine to go ahead and use it to get up higher, and so he moved straight up to the third step and slowly made his way up the stairs, making sure to check the safety of each step as he went. If it didn't feel right, he made sure to miss those steps or step right on the outside so that he would be better supported as he climbed.

Once he reached the top, though, he had a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach that begged him to turn back. It was almost as if he was being watched or something. Part of him was expecting to turn around and see yellow eyes across the hallway, which would quickly descend upon him and kill him on the spot for trespassing. So he didn't dare to peer into the dark. It was only going to make things worse for him. Instead, he kept his flashlight on the floor and tried his hardest to ignore the loud thumping of his heartbeat as he checked the three upstairs rooms in turn. The first was the master bedroom. He could tell right away from the bed style. It was an old-fashioned futon bed, but the bedsheets looked as if they had been hand-embroidered when they were originally made. The sun from the nearby window must have bleached them, since they had that very particular faded edge about them, but they were incredibly pretty. Wonwoo proceeded to make his way around the room and examined everything, from the wardrobe to the drawers, in hopes that he would find something that he could work with. As it turned out, the only thing he discovered was that all of the furniture and clothing had holes from where the moths had chewed at them. That and the fact that there were thick cobwebs all around the room, showing that it hadn't been touched in many years.

The second room was a study, with a huge bookshelf behind a desk. The desk was filled with flimsy paper, which had obviously aged badly and would break as soon as a pen touched it. There was a quill-like feather, which had probably been imported from Europe or something, along with a traditional calligraphy brush. Both the quill ink and the calligraphy ink wells were dried up, which was a huge disappointment. Wonwoo had always wanted to try traditional calligraphy but the ink was so expensive that he couldn't afford it. If, on the off-chance, either one was still a liquid, he would have happily taken it home with him. Instead, he simply left them alone and made his way to the bookshelf to examine which books were there. Of course, though, they had to be the books that he would expect to find anywhere. There were plays and poetry books, short fictional pieces about the greed of men, and a few books about the dynasty that had come to take over the country. It was something that Wonwoo knew too well. They had ultimately failed after a series of storms across the country, and so they were still split into hundreds of villages instead of having a few large towns who had much more territory for their people.

Finally, he made his way to the furthest room away. He anticipated that it must have been the first wife's room, and it certainly seemed that way when he entered. Again, the room was very traditional, with eaten furniture and clothes, but Wonwoo had a completely different feeling in the pit of his stomach as soon as he walked in. It was almost nostalgic, in a way; he felt as if he was reliving his early childhood for a moment. Perhaps it was due to the fact that his parents had only just been able to afford the upgrade to a decent bed and so their room was laid out in a very similar way to this room until just a few years ago. That seemed to explain it a lot, he figured when he stepped back and examined the room a bit more. The window was the same shape as his parents' window, and the general layout was pretty similar too. It meant that he knew his way around the room with no trouble at all, though, which was ideal. In particular, it meant that he knew exactly where would be best to hide any diaries and journals. After all, she was a teenage girl when she went missing, so it was only natural that she would have some sort of journal. He simply moved the drawers next to her bed and wiggled the floorboard, and it was right there in the crack. Feeling proud of himself, he promptly snatched it up, put the furniture back where it belonged, and then made his way out of the house.

The diary was particularly dirty when he got it outside, and he almost regretted taking it. His hands weren't all that fond of the thick layer of dirt and neither were his clothes, so he simply ended up wiping the book on the grass before making his way home with it in hand. Thankfully, it wasn't like the book on the ground floor when he finally opened it; the pages were worn and old, but they weren't faded too much. The text was written in ink, which obviously meant that they were subject to fading, but it had been preserved a lot better than he anticipated. After all, it had been away from sunlight and probably hadn't been touched for hundreds of years. Even the parts that _were_ worn had left dents in the paper, which meant that he could still read it if he tried hard enough.

For the most part, the diary was very similar to what he would expect from any teenage girl. She discussed the boys she liked, her conflicts with her parents, her first kiss, her first experience with period, the first time she cried because she was in love, and the sorts. It wasn't all that different to what a girl from his era would write. He continued to flick through each page, scanning for anything to do with Mingyu, until he eventually found just one page about him:

_"Diary,_

_I have never spoken to our god Min Gyu until now, at least not face to face. I have prayed to him every single night for the past few months, but he has never answered me. I was almost finished - almost about to give up and admit that perhaps my father is crazy and the god he claims to feel so connected to is just a non-existent figure who comforts his fear of death - but then he finally spoke to me last night and now I have to admit that he's real._

_I told him about my strained relationship with my father, since I am expected to take over his position in the temple with my future husband when they eventually marry me off to some village boy. I ended up crying about it in front of him as I told him that I could not handle it anymore. But then, when I looked up, Min Gyu was making his way towards me. I knew it was him because of the way he spoke so softly to me and wiped my tears away. He touched me with his fingertips, yet I did not feel his touch directly. It was as if he was going straight through me to touch my soul. My heart fluttered as soon as I met him, and I think he knew because he immediately came out of the shadows so that I could see his face. He is tall and handsome, with caramel skin and wide-set eyes. His nose has a big bump in the middle, but it suits his face. His smile could make me melt on the spot. He used his smile to kiss me as he insisted that it was okay and he would try to steer my parents away from an arranged marriage._

_I think I am in love with him, but I do not want to make such a vast assumption so soon. I would be a very foolish girl if I was to let my guard down and say that it was love at first sight because that does not exist, and it is why those who elope always end up in strained relationships, whilst those who are set up with their future husbands always end up being in love for life. That is just how our society works, and so I trust it more than I trust my feelings. I think I simply appreciate him for what he has done for our community, and the fact that he kissed me so readily to make me feel better about the fact that I was having a difficult time in life. I shall presume that his kiss was meant in the way that a father kisses his daughter._

_Fei."_

Wonwoo let out the breath that he had been holding when he finished it. The entry was the last one in the book, as if she had been too busy with her life to add anything else afterwards. Perhaps everything had moved very quickly once she had been kissed by Mingyu; maybe she had the threat of the marriage looming over her and Mingyu was there to fix things. That was the only logical explanation he could think of for why she would suddenly stop writing in the book. She had successfully managed to write something in the journal every Sunday for almost two years straight, but the entries suddenly stopped as soon as she met her god properly. It was definitely not a coincidence, Wonwoo decided, but there was no real evidence to tell him what happened in the time between her final entry and the day she fell pregnant. There was plenty of information in each of the books to describe what happened after Fei fell pregnant to Mingyu's child, obviously, but it was as if the time between them meeting and having a child together was completely wiped from history.

He didn't really like that. He wasn't at all fond of the idea that something could have been wiped from history, simply because there was no one there to scribe it. But he knew that there were no other journals. He could feel that in the pit of his stomach. Any other journal that she may have had would have been created before the start of this journal. Wonwoo knew that much; she wrote in a leather-bound journal and even back in those days, the books were hardly the cheapest to buy. Each one was specially handcrafted, so she wasn't going to simply get halfway through a journal before starting on the next one.

Although it didn't end up turning much ground up for him, though, it did give him an idea for how to move forward with his attempt at getting to know Mingyu. He figured that if she managed to speak to him by going to the temple and speaking to him every night, perhaps he could do the exact same thing. It would be a pain to walk through the town for ten minutes every night so that he could chat with Mingyu, but he figured that it would ultimately be worth the risk if he could uncover anything new because of it. Perhaps he would be able to speak to Mingyu before he was supposed to speak to him, which would mean that they would be able to spend more time getting to know each other and learning from each other as a result. Perhaps Mingyu would simply tell him that he needed to wait for a few years before they started chatting, which would be disappointing but at least then he would be able to communicate with him and know that he was real. Perhaps he would even be able to use it as an opportunity to fill in the gaps, and then they would simply part for a few years before coming back together whenever Wonwoo happened to be old enough for Mingyu to take an interest in him. He was excited to find out which option it would be, and so he made sure to plan everything out perfectly so that as soon as he heard that his parents were asleep, he would make his way straight out to the street.

So he started on his daily mission with ease. He started out by going to the temple and thinking about what he would say, but then eventually switched it up so that he was actually talking out loud to the statue at the front of the room. It was still as creepy this time as it had been the first time he saw it, but he tried his hardest not to make a big deal out of it and instead spent his time chatting with the statue as if it was an old friend. The conversation would be about absolutely anything that happened to come to mind at the time; the people in his class, the way he was treated by his peers, his experiences in the classroom and the fact that he had always wanted to go to university but would never get the chance to do so. Then he would start talking about more personal matters, like his struggles with his father being away from home a lot of the time, and the way that he knew his mother much preferred his brother. Although everyone knew that Wonwoo was ultimately going to marry Mingyu, his brother was going to become a vet, so he was going to do the family proud whilst Wonwoo would simply follow what was laid out for him on a platter.

Then, after a short while, he started to change the topics of conversation. He decided that he would play on what he figured would spark a bit of a reaction from the god; things that he imagined Fei would have said to him. "Mingyu, I don't know if you can hear me right now, but I need to hear from you," he said out loud, trying his hardest to sound sad as he said it. He almost attempted to let a stray tear roll down his cheek, but quickly figured that perhaps that would be pushing it a little bit too far. "Mingyu, my parents are telling me that I have to take over the farm when they die because my brother is going to end up being a famous vet and he can't raise the animals on his own. And whilst they're obviously expecting that he'll be getting married and having children of his own, raising animals isn't a job for a woman, or so they say. So it's my job to give my life to my family's business and look after the livestock, and my brother will simply check on them occasionally."

He sat in silence, hoping that he would get some sort of reaction. A strange sense in his stomach drew him towards the corner of the room that was on the right side of the statue, and so his eyes lingered in the area for a moment, but then he eventually figured that he wasn't about to get the desired result, and so he decided to try again the following day. Too much pushing would simply make it obvious that he was trying to interact with Mingyu because he wanted something, and that was the last thing that Wonwoo wanted. "They're saying that they might end up marrying me off to a random girl in the village," he said the following day. "I think they were trying to joke around with me because I'm pretty sure they know that I'm bound to you but they don't know that I know just yet. But even so, they're acting as if I have no choice in the matter; as if they're going to pick the first girl whose parents couldn't get rid of her at a younger age, and then they're going to make her my wife." Again, no answer came. He gave a sigh and stood up before bowing his head low. "I hope that I don't seem like I'm trying to demand too much of you," he finished before making his way out of the temple again.

Week after week, the same things continued to happen. Wonwoo would go to the temple to complain about his experiences with his parents, the topic of marriage, and his emerging sexuality. He would make sure to try to involve Mingyu as best as possible, even going out of his way to act in a way that was far from his typical introverted personality in hopes that it would encourage him to reply. As always, though, the reply never came. There wasn't even a stir in the room, as if Mingyu wanted to talk to him but couldn't bring himself to come forward. Wonwoo couldn't even describe how much it frustrated him; after all, he wasn't really making up what he told Mingyu and it was something that was genuinely causing tension between himself and his parents. Sure, they probably wouldn't end up making him marry someone when he would only end up being taken away by Mingyu anyway, but that wasn't the point. It was the fact that they were so set on making him feel as if he couldn't say 'no' to a marriage like that because it was his duty to support the family too. And sure, they were only joking with him, but he didn't find it funny at all and that was the problem.

Eventually, he ended up simply cracking and having a meltdown in the temple. It was the first time he had cried properly in a very long time, and so it felt particularly alien to him to have that sort of experience. "Would you just tell them that it makes me uncomfortable?" he asked Mingyu as he tried to wipe his tears away. "I don't know what you gods can do - whether it's just the weather and seeing everything that happens in the village, or whether you can do more. But please, please please please, could you turn up in my parents' dreams or something and tell them that I don't want to talk about arranged marriages anymore. I can't do it anymore. It's making me stressed."

Of course, there was still no answer. By that point, Wonwoo's patience was drawing very slim very fast. He continued to visit the temple, since he had a point to prove and he couldn't back down once he had set his mind on it, but it was very quickly becoming a bother for him. He was tired by the time he reached the morning, and it was mentally taxing too. He was twelve years old and was already incredibly stressed over thoughts of his future. In the end, he simply decided that he would tell his parents himself, which would probably fix the issue that he had asked Mingyu to help him with. At least that way, he would know that he had some sort of control. His parents wouldn't need to continue skirting around him, and they might even end up telling the rest of the village that they didn't need to whisper behind his back anymore. Wonwoo knew about Mingyu, and it was no longer a huge secret.

"Mom, dad, I have something to tell you," he announced during breakfast one morning. His brother went to take a mouthful of rice, but then hesitated when he heard his brother announcing it so readily. It was clear that he was anticipating a confession about actually speaking to Mingyu directly, although Wonwoo made sure to flash a smile in his direction to show him that he wasn't going down that path specifically. They were close enough that they simply told each other everything first anyway, so there was no way in hell that he was going to drop that sort of bomb on his brother without actually bringing it up with him beforehand. Wonwoo then turned back towards their parents and watched as they stared at him expectantly before getting to it.

"I've been going to the temple to see Mingyu." Obviously, both of them were left not knowing how to take the news. It was simultaneously great and surprising news; scary and unusual, and arguably something that they expected to take a while longer. They knew exactly how he meant it, though, and so they didn't act as if it was something little. It was a big thing in their family, and it was the sign that their little boy was growing up.  
"Has he been talking to you?" his mother asked expectantly. There was a little bit of hope in her tone, as if she had been wondering whether her son genuinely _was_ the boy their god was searching for since there was no one to tell her whether it was certain or not. The disappointment on her face when he shook his head showed him that right away.

"Actually, though," Wonwoo continued, hesitating after he said it in order to make sure that he had their attention first. He took a deep breath, and then clasped his hands together. "Actually, I was thinking that perhaps he isn't worth my time." Their faces dropped, including his brother's face, and Wonwoo made sure to offer the sweetest smile that he could possibly muster.  
"Wonwoo, why would you--"  
"I've been trying to contact him for months because I've been going through a tough time, but he's insistent on not talking back to me. And I really needed him, so it was sort of a big deal. I think that if he actually wanted me as his future husband, he would reply to me when I talk to him, but he's either avoiding me or he doesn't want me."

There was silence around the room for a moment. It probably sounded like a childish outburst, but Wonwoo didn't really care. After all, it was the truth and it didn't really matter what they said in response to him. But then they all started offering up solutions and ideas to him right away; ideas about how he might not have been able to hear him because he was too young, or because he wasn't going to the temple at night, or maybe Mingyu wasn't ready. Wonwoo simply closed his eyes and listened to all of the ideas pouring in, but then finally gave an indignant sniff as soon as they finished.  
"No, I've made up my mind. I'm finished with him and I want to live a normal life without him."


	5. Chapter 5

As much as Wonwoo said that he wanted nothing to do with Mingyu, deep down he was really waiting for something to happen in the meantime and make him believe in their god again.

The books all said that he would get to hear from him between his thirteenth birthday and his seventeenth birthday, so he figured that there was still a little bit of hope. After all, he was only twelve when he gave up, but he'd hoped that he would be able to contact Mingyu earlier because he found out about him earlier. They didn't necessarily need to start anything romantic if their god was too concerned about the implications of a relationship with someone who was too young for that generation's standards. At that point in time, arranged marriages were less common and most people were waiting until they were in their late teens or early twenties to get married. It wasn't about getting children out as quickly as possible, especially now that they were out of the famine, so Mingyu could have easily been putting off contacting him for that very reason.

Or at least that was what Wonwoo hoped would be the case.

Admittedly, it gave him confidence issues from a young age. He felt unlovable and unwanted, since he had been so certain that he was going to be able to make something good happen with Mingyu but he was merely faced with the disappointment of reality instead. He had been asked whether he had actually been contacted by their god on countless occasions when it was brought up by his classmates - who quickly found out from their parents that he knew about his fate and so stopped whispering about him behind his back - and so he was forced to confess that no, he hadn't made contact. One boy in his class suggested that perhaps he wasn't actually supposed to be marrying Mingyu in the future at all, and maybe the timeline had just been screwed up. It could have easily been anyone else in their class. They were all older than him, so it could have been the case that Mingyu hadn't realised that one of those boys would be his future husband. That only served to knock Wonwoo's confidence further until he was left doubting himself even more.

To start with, it did leave him desperate, though. Desperate to hear something from Mingyu so that he could feel as if he was genuinely a part of what was happening. He told himself that they were just trying to tease him and take away his happiness, but he couldn't really shake the feeling that perhaps he was completely wrong. It would make sense if he was; after all, the people in their village didn't exactly know everything about Mingyu, and there were always curveballs thrown at them that threatened everything they knew about their god. Mingyu had started out taking much younger girls, then gradually worked up to older girls. He had then taken in younger boys and was gradually working his way up until he was starting to take older boys. It was just the way that things were. There was no way of being sure how things would turn out, and it might have been different when he was born. It _could_ have been the case that one of his older classmates was Mingyu's real future partner and he didn't know it yet, or Mingyu could have even realised that his future partner was already growing inside of someone at that point in time. It didn't necessarily have to be the case that Wonwoo's birth would have sparked the end of the famine. It could have been a coincidence, rather than cause and effect.

Wonwoo considered going back to the temple. He knew that it wasn't really a good idea, seeing as he had been so certain that he didn't want to pursue anything with Mingyu, but he just needed that clarification. He ended up going back just once on the day after his thirteenth birthday. He just sat there with him, his back against the stomach of Mingyu's statue, and rested his head against his arm. For a while, he just sat there and thought about how things were working out - or rather, _not_ working out - until he eventually felt the exhaustion of his day washing over him. He let it take over, simply because he figured that it might be a sign of everything that had been mentioned in the scriptures about people falling asleep and getting to see their god for a brief while. If that was the case, it would put his fears to rest, and so he wasn't going to fight the tiredness.

But when his eyes closed, he wasn't faced with an image of Mingyu. Instead, he was faced with a bizarre dream. He was walking through a forest in silence, when he heard the crunching of leaves behind him. He snapped around to see if he could see what had caused the noise, but the area was completely silent once again. Even so, he knew deep in his gut that it wasn't safe for him to be there, so he began to run as quickly as he could. He suddenly heard a howl behind him - one that didn't quite sound like any other howl that he'd heard in his entire life - followed by the scurrying of feet. So he ran faster, kicking up leaves behind his body. He could run without feeling as if he needed to stop, thankfully, but it was a bit of a bother still because he could sense that the creature was getting closer to him with every step.

And then he was thrust into darkness with no warning whatsoever, as if he had fallen off the earth and was in space. He didn't hit the floor or anything, so he knew that the creature didn't catch him. For a short while, he simply floated on the spot, before his body grew tired of just existing in the emptiness of the blank space and sought out a way to move forward. It knew exactly where to go, opting to simply move up and to the right, until he eventually got to the surface of a huge pool. It was still pitch black, but he knew that he was in the pool because his head pushed through the surface, he could suddenly breathe, and he felt that his hair was damp against his forehead.

"Wonwoo." The voice that boomed through the room made the water ripple. Wonwoo wanted to angrily tell the voice that he could scare whatever was living in the water if it continued to shout like that, but then he quickly realised that the voice was the one that he usually heard in his head - his thinking voice - which not only suggested that he was in his own head instead of just a random vat of water, but also that there was no aquatic life to disturb. So he stayed silent until he could sense a hand in the darkness and began to swim towards it.

Once he got out of the water, his clothes were dry. The owner of the hand kissed him hard, despite merely being a shadow in the room still. Wonwoo was surprised, but he kissed back with a matched intensity. There was fire between himself and the other person, and then the person pulled him close to his chest. Wonwoo felt a heartbeat against his chest, as if the shadow's organs were exposed for him to see. He put out a hand to check whether that was the case or not but as soon as he made contact, he woke up with a jolt.

It was already morning. Wonwoo could see the trickle of light hitting everything inside the temple. The room was empty but he felt strange feeling that he wasn't alone. It wasn't a creepy feeling, though; it was a sense that someone - or something - had been keeping him safe as he slept. He glanced at each of the corners of the room, fully expecting that he would see the god stood there with him, but he quickly found that he was definitely alone. Even the statue that he had slept against was as inanimate as it had been when he went to sleep. He simply stood and bowed deeply to the statue before making his way out of the temple.

That was when he heard laughter, as if there were people playing around together. He stared as well as he could, trying his hardest to avoid squinting but soon giving in. It only took a moment for it to dawn upon him that it was only Wednesday and that he was running late for school, but his stomach instantly flipped as soon as he realised. He wasn't dressed in his uniform, since he hadn't really thought about getting changed, and he was running pretty late as it was. He didn't have a watch so he couldn't check exactly how long he had left to get home and change out of his dark clothes, but he figured that it would have to do. Wonwoo near enough sprinted all the way home before rushing to get ready. "Where were you this morning?" his mother called out to him before he could leave.  
"I went to study in the library this morning, as soon as it opened at six o'clock, and I lost track of time." It was a simple enough excuse and seemed to do the trick. His mother didn't really know when he did and didn't have work to do for school, so it worked out. After all, she still wanted him to get a good education, so she was hardly going to explain.

Thankfully, he was just in time to get to his seat and not be called out for his tardiness. Wonwoo fully expected to be called out in front of his peers for not turning up at the right time, but his teacher simply gave him a look of disappointment before welcoming him to the classroom then starting the first class. He couldn't even begin to describe what a relief it had been to know that he wasn't going to end up getting into huge trouble for not being there on time, and so he decided to make it up to his teacher by behaving as well and he possibly could. If she needed a question answered, he would be the first one to offer up an answer. If she was looking for things to be done in a certain way, he would be on it right away.

But the dream stayed in his mind to occupy his thoughts whenever the lesson's content didn't need to be his primary thought. It was an unusual dream, since it didn't actually involve Mingyu as he'd expected, but it seemed to have some symbolism attached to it. He spent his lunch period trying to figure it out, despite knowing full well that there was no way to really find out for sure whether his assumptions about it were true. There were no books about dream analysis in their library, and he had only heard about it from one of the people who passed through their village once; a young girl who had been whimsical and mysterious as she whipped out a stack of books about dreams and astrology and Western religion.

From what he could remember, though, he supposed that each aspect was conflicting in a way. Water without drowning was supposed to mean something to do with tranquility, yet the chase suggested that he was trying to escape a situation. All in all, it didn't really help with his quest to communicate with Mingyu in the slightest and simply may have instead been a regular dream, in which his body was trying to tell him to stop obsessing over the god again. He had just managed to stop thinking about him when he started to go down that route, and he really didn't need to dip back down that route again.

So that was how he took it. He figured that it was best to simply give up on the idea of falling in love with Mingyu. After all, it was just as bad as spending all of his time obsessing over another village boy or an idol from the radio. It was pointless and immature, and quite frankly needless. He started to plan his life out instead, hoping that he would be able to get there someday. Mingyu was just a myth, he figured, so there was no reason why he couldn't plan his life out in case his future husband wasn't actually their god at all. Sure, it was probably just as maladaptive in a multitude of ways, but it was a lot better for his mental health and general functioning than everything that he had been doing.

Wonwoo decided on the spot that he would go completely cold turkey on Mingyu, and that was exactly what he did. He began to write down everything else that he wanted to do with his life instead, and that suited him just perfectly. He wanted to move out of the village with someone, just so that he would be able to have a proper job and a real life. He wanted to get married to a man who was a little bit older than him, and he wanted to adopt three children with his husband. Two girls and a boy, if he had the choice, but he wasn't too fussy about that. He also wanted to get his university degree; perhaps in literature or something. It wasn't a degree that was going to get him a job on the spot, as law or medicine might, but it was something that he could perhaps use to get a teaching job instead. Although he couldn't really see himself as a teacher, he did feel that he was compassionate enough to be able to do that sort of job and aid a child's learning, so he decided that it would be an ideal career path for him.

Then, once he had planned out the basics of his future life, he began to map out his bucket list. He wanted to do a number of different things before he died so that he had absolutely no regrets at all, and he fully intended on adding to the list whenever he had the chance to do so. From visiting another country to trying food from the southern villages and big cities of the country, he had a lot of things to occupy his mind. And even if it did turn out that Mingyu was real and actually wanted him, he would be able to do those sorts of things with him. They would be able to walk on the beach in the middle of the night and eat delicious food and dance in the rain and--

Actually, scrap that. He wasn't supposed to be thinking about Mingyu.

Those were all things that he wanted to do alone or with his brother. They were almost inseparable during the day still, just as they had been when Wonwoo first found out about the god. Since then, his brother was particularly protective over him, and always made sure that he was happy with the decisions that affected him. Before they had spent the time in the temple together, his attitude could only really be described as being unbothered because it didn't directly affect him how his brother was treated. But then they had bonded more and more as time went on and so it was only natural to involve him with the bucket list plans. "Yeah, we can do a lot of these in the village, if you want. Then when I go to university, I'll find a way to get you there for a couple of days so that we can do a few more of them. Does that sound fair to you?" Wonwoo gave an excited nod and allowed his brother to tick the first item off the list with him that evening; peeing behind the pharmacy in the village. For some reason, he had always had the urge to do that, but had never really had the guts to go there alone. It had been a good way to start it off, though, so he was incredibly happy with the fact that they had gone ahead and done it in the end.

The acts were accompanied by a thrill which Wonwoo only experienced when he and his brother were doing ridiculous things to cross them off his bucket list. Climb onto the roof, ride the cow, sleep in the graveyard for a full night. Things that could potentially get them hurt or would end up making them ill. As much as the weather was still excellent, as it was expected to be whilst Wonwoo was still alive and well, it was still incredibly cold at night. The graveyard probably wasn't the best place to be in the middle of November, but it was on the list and they needed to do it before Wonwoo's brother went to university. At that point, they would have to wait again until his brother had the opportunity to help him visit - be it by getting a friend to drive Wonwoo over to his university dorms or by funding his train journey - so it was pretty hard to get it all done. And sure, whilst they would probably be able to do it when they were reunited in the village again, there was no saying that Wonwoo wouldn't be studying at that point in time too. His brother's degree was due to last six or seven years, and Wonwoo wasn't all too sure about the duration of his own course just yet. The average was four years, but he could still easily select a medical degree and end up staying for longer.

The day on which his brother left was probably the saddest day of Wonwoo's life still, even though they had all of the big plans to spend time together. It felt as if four years of having a solid friendship was too short all of a sudden; it had flown by and Wonwoo didn't want to see his brother grow up. A little part of him was certain that his brother would end up forgetting about him, or that he would come home and not want to finish off the list with him. In fact, it was absolutely _terrifying_ to think that it would be an issue. He wanted to still have that little bit of childishness about him so that he wasn't forced to grow up and his brother provided him with that, so Wonwoo simply prayed for him to stay as fun as possible whilst he was away so that they would be able to continue enjoying their lives together as soon as they could do so.

A piece of Wonwoo died with his brother's departure. He had been certain that he wouldn't be affected by it all that much, seeing as they would still be able to spend time together and all, but it was a hugely different story in reality. He began to feel down about the fact that his already limited social interactions were only going to be limited even further. He began to worry himself by pointing out that he was going to end up being alone for six years, which only amplified his concerns even more.

So, naturally, he dipped back down _that_ route again. It was only supposed to be temporary. If his brother wasn't there and he didn't have any other friends, he needed someone else to talk with when he was feeling alone. He didn't have a mobile phone or computer, since they could hardly afford them in his family. His brother had managed to secure both of them because he needed them for his university degree - any changes to his timetable would come through on his mobile phone and he needed the computer for assignments. But it meant that Wonwoo wouldn't be able to get them to call him or anything, since it had eaten away at a lot of the family's savings. Their father was having to work exceptionally hard to make up the money so that his eldest son wasn't short of his tuition fees for the next year of his degree, so the chances of Wonwoo getting anything like that was near enough impossible.

He indulged in Mingyu to save himself from the isolation, as a result of that. He didn't really want to do that to start with, but he figured that it was better than being miserable for the rest of his life. And _damn_ was he miserable most of the time once it was just himself and his parents in the house. He was just fifteen at the time, which made it that little bit harder. He was going through puberty, having hit is slightly later than his peers, but he had no one to ask the questions to. Sure, he could have mentioned it to either of his parents, but it didn't seem all that appropriate. He would have rather taken his questions as far away from his parents as possible, actually.

So he took them to Mingyu. He found himself drifting back to the temple late at night and apologising for not going to see him for a few years. "I know it's probably only a small part of your life so far, but I feel rude for just dropping you like that," he explained, "And now I'm coming back to you with my problems. You wouldn't think that this is a proper relationship, would you?" He spoke about everything that was coming to mind. The constant frustration and anger over ridiculous things, the way that his bones ached and he knew that he was growing, and the way that his voice was starting to drop. He discussed how he was starting to get body hair and it made him incredibly self-conscious, but he couldn't afford a razor. He had resorted to praying that his facial hair wouldn't start to grow, but his plan was to start borrowing his father's face razor without permission if it did develop.

In fact, most of the embarrassing questions about developing bodies had come up. Wet dreams, body smells, and the way that he was hungry all of the time. He was going hungry most days because he couldn't ask his parents for more food, out of fear that they would end up going hungry in order to feed him. Every day left him with stress piled on top of stress, and so being able to - figuratively - talk to Mingyu about it was his way of off-loading. He wouldn't get an answer in response, but it allowed him to get it out there. If Mingyu wanted to help him through his struggles, he would have the opportunity to contact him with advice too.

Of course, that advice never came and Wonwoo eventually ended up slipping away from Mingyu again, figuring that it was a waste of time to run back to him with problems when their relationship was very much one-sided. He began to wait out all of his problems and figure them out himself so that he still didn't need to speak to his peers, teachers or parents about that sort of thing. He washed his hair when it looked oily, and he cleaned his face twice a day so that the acne that threatened to erupt would stay at bay. He sneakily took his soiled clothes and bedsheets into the bathroom to wash the stains out each morning, before hanging them over his wardrobe door to dry during the day. He took some of the unused scissors from the kitchen drawer and used them to trim any unwanted body hair. He tried his hardest to combat any body smells with whatever he could find; soap, perfumes, washing powders, and the sorts.

Wonwoo was certain that he wasn't getting it all right, but it was a learning curve and it was better than embarrassing himself with unnecessary conversations with people who were going to judge him over it. He never did get the chance to discuss it with his brother either, though, since he didn't even get the chance to visit him. His brother hadn't realised how far his university was, according to the letter he sent to Wonwoo a few months after he had arrived there, and so he wasn't sure whether he was okay with his younger sibling making the journey over there to see him. Wonwoo was absolutely heartbroken over the letter, but he tried his hardest to keep it together. Naturally, though, he drifted straight back to Mingyu to vent out his frustrations.

But then, by the time he was eighteen, Wonwoo had completely given up again. It was a lot more serious than it had been when he was younger, though. By that point, he would have expected Mingyu to contact him in any way. In his dreams, through a letter, in person, at the temple; he had so many opportunities to make contact with him, but it was quite obvious that he wasn't interested in the slightest. And Wonwoo wasn't happy. He had essentially been forced to give his life to an entity who was probably some sort of myth, as opposed to being a real person. He was sceptical about Mingyu's entire existence and figured that perhaps their geographical location made the area subject to having poor weather for years at a time.

It could just be a coincidence that people were being whisked off after the storms had cleared; after all, they were teenagers and they would find any excuse to get caught up in a love affair with a random person from the village, and then they could easily fake their own abduction during the middle of the night. Heck, Wonwoo could probably do that himself, if he wanted. There was nothing to say that he couldn't pretend to have been contacted by Mingyu. He could just say it to make his family happy, then promptly make a run for the hills whenever he had the opportunity to do so. He had heard that there was another country up north, and even though it was several hundred miles away, he could probably walk there in time. So long as he didn't end up getting killed by other territories, he would make it just fine. Even if he did get shot, he figured that it wouldn't be that much of a big issue; his family would think he was safe still, which was all that really mattered. There would be no reason for them to think otherwise, and the people who killed him wouldn't even be able to track down where he was from to inform them of his deah. He didn't have any form of personal identification and even if he did, he wouldn't take it if he tried to run away.

Actually, it seemed like the best possible option for him when he thought about it that little bit more. It was something that seemed like it would work better than living his life and being a disappointment to the entire community. At least that way, they would still have some sort of respect for him. It would seem as if he knew what he was doing, and he would be able to come up with the real plan for his future when he was on the road. Perhaps he would be able to start doing little jobs on his way to wherever he was going. Perhaps he would be able to save up and start attending university. It was only around sixteen million won for his entire university experience, which wasn't even that much when he thought about it. Sure, it could take a few years to save up that much, but he could even get a job whilst he was studying. He would certainly end up getting what he wanted that way and he wouldn't even need to worry himself with the little details. No need to worry about whether he would be allowed to marry or have children, no need to concern himself with looking attractive for Mingyu's pleasure, and no need to feel as if he was being tiptoed around whenever he was near other people.

So he made a small plan. He would start bringing Mingyu up casually, as if he had been talking to him for months and they were fond of each other, and would eventually start to tell his family that Mingyu was asking him to join him where he lived. He would insist that he stay and help his family out, but Mingyu would tell him that he wanted to have children with him. He was a god so getting another man pregnant wasn't a big deal. Of course, that would leave further speculation within the community, but it would mean that he would leave with a bang. They would have something else cleared up, even if it wasn't necessarily true, and that would satisfy their need for knowledge for a while. Fast-forward another couple of decades and they would think that he had passed away from old age and Mingyu was mourning him. Rinse and repeat. Perhaps the next boy would do the same thing and it would turn into an inside joke, even though he wouldn't know the next boy and the next boy wouldn't know him.

It started at breakfast the next morning. He had stayed up planning all night so that he was tired in the morning, and so he went to breakfast with a grumpy expression and snatched up a mug to make himself coffee. As always, he rationed on the coffee by only putting in half a spoon of powdered coffee into the mug, and then filled the rest of the cup with hot water. Then he took a long sip and took a seat at the table. "If you were so tired, you could have spent a little bit longer in bed," his mother pointed out as she took a bowl of soup to the table for him. Wonwoo looked up at her, making sure to emphasise the exhaustion even further with a yawn.  
"I'm up now, so I might as well stay up. I didn't get that much sleep last night anyway, so I probably wouldn't end up waking up to the sound of my alarm if I went back to sleep."  
"I thought you went to bed at ten o'clock, though. How come you didn't manage to sleep well?"  
"Oh, Mingyu just kept me awake all night. Talking my ear off as usual. I don't think he knows how important sleep is for humans." On that note, he took another long sip and let out a sigh.

He saw how his mother froze when she heard his words, although she didn't question it at all. To start with, she was completely silent, but then she sat at the kitchen table with him and watched him drinking his coffee and eating his soup. "Is he everything you hoped for?" she asked quietly, as if she wasn't sure whether to ask the question or not. Wonwoo looked up into her eyes to see that she looked sorrowed. Part of him was certain that he couldn't lie to her about that sort of thing, especially when she clearly wanted him to have a good future so _badly_ but then again, he'd already come up with the lie so he needed to see it through to the end.  
"I don't know," he answered, figuring that it was best to go down a more honest route so that it didn't bite him in the backside later on down the line. "I still want to be angry at him for not speaking to me sooner, but I do have feelings for him and I hate it."

That much was actually true. He had spent years denying that he had feelings for a figurative person who probably didn't even exist, but the reality was that he had grown attached. It was hard not to grow attached, after all. Mingyu had been the idealistic partner that Wonwoo had always wanted. He was the person who was undeniably in love with him, according to everyone else, and he wouldn't cheat or even look at any other man. He was the perfect partner, and he was everything that Wonwoo would ever need.

And he would definitely be lying if he said that he didn't imagine them having an intense relationship. He knew that it wasn't the real Mingyu in his dreams whenever he thought about the physical side of their relationship. The books always said that he would get a sense that it was happening in real life, rather than just being a dream, but he didn't get that sense when he imagined them together. Whilst a good handful of his wet dreams were about a person with non-descript features, the vast majority were about Mingyu making every inch of his body ache with desire. His body desperately needed to be held and touched, and the fantasy of Mingyu said that he was hundreds of years old and would pluck Wonwoo's first time away in an almost poetic manner. He would be gentle and sweet, but also intimate and persistent. That was exactly how Wonwoo liked it.

But it was a fantasy; a fallacy. He was attached to a person whom he'd never met, and he loathed it. He wanted nothing more than to fall hopelessly in love with someone in the real world so that he could give himself to them entirely, but it just couldn't happen when he was constantly comparing them to the image of Mingyu that he had created in his mind. That and the fact that no one wanted to date him when they were so certain that he was going to end up with Mingyu soon enough.

His mother still seemed happy, though, as she told him that it was fine. Those feelings were natural and to be expected, so he shouldn't be bothered by them. After all, he had been waiting for Mingyu for seven years, and Mingyu had been waiting for him for almost seventy years. It was natural for him to be agitated by Mingyu's reluctance to contact him, especially since he had been waiting for so long as well, but patience was a virtue and he needed to have some. Both of those numbers were just a fraction of their lives, especially in comparison to the amount of time they would have to actually be together once Wonwoo went to live with him. He needed to forgive his future husband for not contacting earlier, she said, given the position that he was probably in throughout the period since the last boy died and during Wonwoo's childhood.

Wonwoo simply agreed with her and thanked her for the advice. He would be more careful with his words, he said, and his plan was to start thinking about how things must feel for Mingyu as well as just himself. He didn't want to be greedy or selfish, so it was up to him to consider the implications of his actions. He finished the rest of his coffee with a long swig before taking the mug to the kitchen sink, washing it up, then making his way back to his bedroom to get ready for his elective work skills class. His body was filled with a sudden guilt that was hard to ignore once his mother was around, and so he ended up spending a few minutes on his bed, trying to figure out if perhaps Mingyu would be able to read his negative thoughts about him, given that he was real. The thought plagued him, especially after his mother's words of encouragement.

But he soon had to drag himself back out of bed and make his way downstairs. He had probably picked out the worst clothes possible and his hair was an absolute mess, but it did the job so he simply started towards the door. It was then that he heard it, and his entire body froze as soon as he realised that it wasn't his thinking voice this time.

_"Wonwoo, I'm ready for you. Come to the temple tonight and I'm all yours."_


	6. Chapter 6

Mingyu and Wonwoo could have quite easily had their happily ever after right away. It could certainly still happen, seeing as Wonwoo still had that little bit of hope that his god was waiting for him somewhere and as it turned out, he really was waiting to make contact. They could have had a situation where Wonwoo realised that his god genuinely did have feelings for him and that he was holding out for a genuine reason, and so he immediately became the future husband that Mingyu wanted. They could have easily decided to set aside their differences and arrange everything so that Wonwoo could join his future partner as soon as possible. They could spend the rest of their lives being happy together; raising children, loving each other, and showing the village how it is to be in love with another individual. It could have been so perfect between them.

Unfortunately for Mingyu, that wasn't the way that Wonwoo was inclined to be.

No, he _could_ have been like that. He had plenty of opportunities to be like that. He had spent three years of his life obsessing over the fact that he was going to be marrying someone of great importance, then a further couple of years trying to speak to him about his problems in a way that only a partner or best friend would approach the problem. There were so many chances for Mingyu to be there for him during that time, and so it was only understandable that he gave up in the end. But seeing as he _did_ drag it out for so long, Wonwoo wasn't just going to roll on to his back and accept his god with open arms. He wasn't there to be Mingyu's partner whenever it was convenient for him to make contact. He could understand if it was just the case that Mingyu wasn't ready for him, but he could have even said to him, "Wonwoo, I'm not ready to pursue a relationship with you just yet. Please wait for a few more years for me."

Had he said something like that, Wonwoo would have probably been fine. He could have pushed his thoughts and feelings to the side for a few more years until Mingyu was ready to contact him again, and then they would be able to kick-start everything very easily. He wasn't the sort of person who would try to push for him to answer his prayers after he'd already been asked to provide Mingyu with space. He wasn't the sort of lover who would be obsessive and forceful, and he was sure that Mingyu would have seen that through his attempts at interaction. But the fact of the matter was that other people had had contact with him at age thirteen and so it wouldn't have been much of a stretch for Mingyu to talk to him as well. In fact, it was merely common courtesy. Had Wonwoo never found out about the fact that he was supposed to be with Mingyu, he probably wouldn't have been all that bothered, but he had known about him for seven years and had absolutely no contact whatsoever, so it was a bit of a big deal, in his opinion.

As a result, he wasn't really going to take that sort of thing lightly. He wasn't happy in the slightest, and he wanted Mingyu to know about that. So he didn't respond at all. It would be easy enough for him to make a show of it in front of his mother, telling Mingyu that he would meet with him later for a brief period to be able to discuss the logistics and direction of their relationship. But that would have been too easy for Mingyu. It would show that Wonwoo had been waiting for him for the entire time; waiting for him to accept their love and invite him into his arms. That wasn't how the real world worked, though. If someone was interested in him, Wonwoo expected them to make more effort than that. He wasn't going to be Mingyu's pawn, for starters, and he also wasn't prepared to hear him acting as if it was his _duty_ to run around for him.

It was ultimately a deal-breaker. Wonwoo didn't even hesitate when he heard the voice, instead opting to continue walking, as if he hadn't heard a thing. He could hear the sudden pounding of his heartbeat ringing in his ears, but he chose to ignore it at all costs. No checking his pulse with a finger, no panting for breath in response to the added difficulties that it brought when he tried to walk briskly to class. He wasn't going to have Mingyu making his day bad right from the start, and he certainly wasn't going to allow him to take over his mind for the rest of the day.

Thankfully, Wonwoo didn't hear anything else from the god whilst he was in his classes. Not a single peep. It wasn't as if he was listening out for him specifically, though; he presumed that it was because Mingyu was hoping to be able to discuss everything he had to say in the temple that evening. If that was the case, there was no point in pestering him whilst he was doing his work. Wonwoo didn't really know how much the god could see or hear but even if he was to simply know the basics of Wonwoo's life, Mingyu would know how much his education meant to him. He wasn't going to be able to attend university unless he started saving up right away, so those skill top-up classes were all he really had to be able to better himself and find his own way forward in the world. They were absolutely everything in his life, and the last thing Wonwoo would have ever wanted was for the god to disrupt that for him.

Time went on. He finished his classes and made his way home. Ate his dinner, went to his room, worked on some of his class work. Finished that up and went for a long walk around the village for a while. Picked up a few extra books from the village library, took them home and started reading one before bed. It was an old fairytale, which he had already read at least a dozen times, but it was something that brought back a little bit of childhood nostalgia right away. It was perfect for the moment, which was why he took it home again, since it was about a girl who had been waiting for her Prince Charming for her entire life, but quickly realised once he arrived that she much preferred her life without him in it. In the end, the cocky Prince decided to show off and ended up being killed in battle, leaving the girl in the hands of a knight who had once been a peasant in the city.

He read it through in one go, figuring that the longer he was awake, the more it would go to show Mingyu that he was intentionally avoiding him. It wasn't even as if he was planning to take a short nap and accidentally overslept, meaning that he wasn't able to visit the temple. He simply decided to do something that he enjoyed instead of doing as Mingyu requested from him. Although Mingyu might see it as Wonwoo having not heard him properly the first time, Wonwoo liked to think that it would be a little bit of a kick in the teeth; that Mingyu would see how unaffected he was by the brief contact and would immediately feel bad about himself. Of course, it probably wouldn't work out like that, but it was what he liked to imagine would happen. To see the god looking so upset about the fact that he was unwanted would be a taste of his own medicine, and that thought really made Wonwoo feel better about the situation. Once the book was finished, he placed his book to the side and turned off the lamp. He tried not to overthink everything as he curled up on his side and started to go to sleep, and it wasn't long at all before he drifted off.

As expected, though, he had the dream that he had been anticipating since he was thirteen. The dream where Mingyu came to him in the middle of the night. Had the god been several years earlier, it would have worked in his favour; Wonwoo would have happily let him into his bed to be able to spend time with him, cuddling and perhaps taking things that little bit further too. In fact, he would have probably encouraged it. He might have even made the first move. But now that Wonwoo had thought it through and considered the implications of that, he wasn't really happy to let it escalate how it had done.

First of all, he woke in the darkness of the bedroom and his body felt completely rigid for a moment. He anticipated that it was probably sleep paralysis, but it quickly faded as the darkness began to develop in the corner of his bedroom. If it was paralysis, he would have experienced the visual hallucinations whilst he was unable to move, rather than whilst he was regaining his ability to move. He immediately moved to sit up on his bed and stared into the darkness in silence, but then a wark aura hit him hard and a figure began to emerge. He knew that it was Mingyu right away, even without seeing his face. It was incredibly difficult for him to explain how he knew it was him, but he was just aware of the fact that his god was the one joining him in the room. Mingyu then drifted towards his bed, slow and almost sexily, before kneeling at the side and reaching out to grab his foot. Wonwoo felt the figure pulling his leg gently so that it would straighten out, and then he proceeded to press a number of gentle kisses to the skin of his foot, right above his toes.

Wonwoo fought the urge to pull away. Whilst all of his instincts were telling him to stop Mingyu from going any further, he was somewhat intrigued to see how it was going to work out. He knew that he was going to have to move away at some point, but he planned on waiting it out for a little while longer so that he would be able to have more power over the situation when it came to it. At least that way, it would seem less shy and more like he was putting in place his limits, which he certainly would be doing.

Mingyu's lips began to work up towards his knee after just a few seconds. Assured but gentle; he was trying his hardest to seem as if he was a loving partner. That much was obvious to Wonwoo, who wasn't prepared to fall for it. He had seen it from boys before, and he wasn't going to let himself fall under the same spell that had charmed many of the girls in his high school class. No, he eventually moved his foot back and shuffled back on to his bed as he tried to ignore Mingyu again. He laid back down and closed his eyes ready to sleep again. But something was already stopping him from rolling on his side and pulling the covers over his body. It was as if he was a character in an old cartoon and he could only sleep on his back. Wonwoo felt a sudden fear as he realised that it opened him up for more unwelcome contact, but it was too late. Mingyu was already climbing up towards him again.

Admittedly, Wonwoo hadn't thought to speak. He had assumed that he wouldn't have a voice in his own dream. It had certainly seemed that way until he felt Mingyu's body slowly pressed down against him and then he leaned in to kiss Wonwoo's lips. At that point, he quickly snapped his head to the side and hissed that no, he didn't want to be kissed. It would be his first kiss and he was saving it for someone special. Likewise, he didn't want to have sex, and he didn't want Mingyu to be on his bed with him. He wasn't going to accept Mingyu acting as if he owned him, and he certainly wasn't going to be happy if the god chose to ignore his wishes. If he did, though, Wonwoo absolutely intended to kill him. He would pretend to fall hopelessly in love with him, but would then make his way to wherever the god lived, where he would poison him in his sleep and kill him. He wasn't messing around, and he certainly wasn't going to accept any rubbish from him.

But Mingyu immediately stopped when Wonwoo told him that he didn't want to be kissed or touched. He did seem a little bit hurt by the fact that Wonwoo didn't want him back at that exact point in time, but he simply gave a polite head dip before slithering back. "I'm sorry if I made it seem as if I was trying to coerce you," he said quietly. "I sometimes forget that you're a different person." Wonwoo wanted to be angry over the comment, he really did. Surely by that point, Mingyu would be well aware of the fact that all of his partners were different people. He had had plenty of them, and they had all ended up living with him. Had they continued to live their lives out in the village, it would have been a little bit more understandable, but Mingyu had no excuse at all. But he had stopped and so Wonwoo didn't really want to get angry with him. It would teach that whatever he did, he wouldn't be able to win. Wonwoo merely wanted a little bit of control over the god, not to make him feel exceptionally bad about himself.

They stared at each other int he darkness for a little while. Wonwoo could feel the god's eyes on his skin, and he knew that there was a little bit of tension between them. Perhaps it was due to the fact that they were about to get physical and he had just cut it off. Perhaps it was due to other factors, such as Mingyu's long wait before contacting him, or the fact that Wonwoo was tired and not in the mood for any contact. "Would you like me to leave you for tonight?" Mingyu asked flatly. Wonwoo nodded. "Can I see you tomorrow, though? At the temple?"

Of course, Wonwoo had no intention of going back to the temple. He was angry and upset with Mingyu and he didn't really want to have to talk to him in what was essentially an extension of Mingyu's home. It felt like an intrusion and now that he knew that the god was real, he guessed that he might even end up being punished for being so negative about him. Perhaps Mingyu heard all of his ill-thoughts over the years and was planning to lure him into the temple so that he could kill him. Wonwoo's family would never find his body, so it would be suitable. But it was a bit of a ridiculous idea, frankly, and Wonwoo already guessed that it wasn't within Mingyu's nature to want to kill people because of their own thoughts and feelings. He seemed more like the sort of person who would desperately try to convince him to fall in love, which would be useful to a degree so that Wonwoo could feel as if his god was trying to make an effort as he had done, but also meant that he might feel pressured by the way that he was being handled.

Saying that, though, he had a pretty decent amount of willpower. He wasn't really the sort of guy who would drop all of his morals and feelings because a boy told him that he should do that. He was pretty consistent too, so he wasn't really going to tell Mingyu that he wasn't ready for it today, only to approach him in the temple and spread his thighs right away. That wasn't how things were going to work and he was absolutely positive of it. So he ended up giving a reluctant nod and telling Mingyu that he would meet him. He would only be there for an hour, though, so they had half an hour each to get their sides of the story out. In fact, that was the only reason why Wonwoo wanted to go there in the first place. He was certain that he wouldn't be bothered by whatever sob story Mingyu managed to come up with, and that he would just be able to get everything out into the open.

It was important for healing. He could get over Mingyu in time, but what he really needed was to be able to tell him exactly how he felt about everything. He needed to tell him that whilst he appreciated that being a god was probably a busy job and he couldn't have all of Mingyu's time, he felt useless, isolated and unloved. He had kept himself pure for Mingyu when he was younger - and don't get him wrong, he had a handful of relationship and hook-up requests in his time - but it had ended up simply being the case that no one wanted to get involved with him and his interests in other people came to be unnoticed after a while. As an adult, he wanted to experience everything, from hobbies to education to relationships. Yet, even though he had been certain that not every aspect of his life would be taken over by Mingyu's mere presence, it certainly got to that point really quickly.

"You can't do martial arts," one of his only friends told him when he was sixteen. "Boys who are muscular and aggressive aren't Mingyu's type. If you've ever read through all of the books, you'll see that he always goes for softer boys and girls. There's been one tomboy in total but even she was pretty girly." Wonwoo instantly felt bad and dropped the idea.  
"Why would you want to learn how to play chess?" another classmate asked him at one point. "You don't need to learn such a useless skill to marry Mingyu. I'm sure he'd appreciate cooking and cleaning skills a lot more than that. Maybe you should ask your mom to help you learn how to cook and clean instead."

That was how his life was laid out, and he absolutely hated it. He wanted Mingyu to know how much he hated it so that he would at least feel a little bit guilty over the fact that he avoided making contact for so long, and so he agreed to visit him after everyone else had gone to bed. Mingyu was insistent on him going earlier than that, but Wonwoo simply informed him that he couldn't risk it. Going to that temple was out of bounds and he knew that Mingyu wasn't all that fond of the newer temple because no one had had any major religious experiences whilst they were there. Mingyu seemingly went a bit shy as he admitted that Wonwoo hit the nail on the head and that he was sorry for not being able to go to the newer temple for him, but he supposed that he could wait if Wonwoo promised to see him.

And so he slithered away into the darkness again. Wonwoo could feel his heart pounding hard in his chest as soon as he was alone again. He knew that he was unable to avoid Mingyu permanently but he still couldn't help but feel proud of himself for shutting the god down so confidently. It could have been the case where he laid back and let Mingyu make love to him and manipulate his body in any way he wanted it to be, but Wonwoo had had the nerve to turn him down and was actually listened to when he made the request.

Whilst he still wasn't all that happy with Mingyu, he supposed that that was actually a bit of a bonus, in his books. It should have just been normal for people to accept that non-consent meant that an individual didn't need to be convinced, coerced or forcibly taken. It was easier not to sexually assault another person than it was to _not_ do that. But a lot of people seemed to struggle with that for some reason, as if they thought that other people owed them something. It was something that Wonwoo had actually been pretty concerned about throughout his teen years, actually. He was concerned that he might not be in the mood for a physical relationship with Mingyu, but would feel pressured into having that sort of relationship with him. Yet, Mingyu had accepted his hesitation and not tried to force him into sex, and Wonwoo had to admit that it showed that he did have some morals.

That was actually a pretty big contributing factor towards his inevitable decision to go to the temple as asked. He informed his parents that he needed to go out for a little while to speak to Mingyu and they accepted the answer, even though it was late. The last thing he wanted was for them to not realise that he was out and start panicking if they went to his room at some point. He was an adult, after all, and so they didn't need to have such a tight rein on him. He left the house without having to worry about being too loud as he walked down the path towards the village, then quickly made his way towards the temple. Through the back door as always, through to the chapel area, and then sat in the seat that he always took. He waited patiently, deciding against contacting Mingyu first within seconds of his arrival. If the god was really serious about their potential for having a romantic relationship, he would be there soon enough and wouldn't need to be coaxed out of wherever he was living.

According to Wonwoo's watch, he waited for around fifteen minutes for Mingyu to arrive. Saying that, though, it was only bought from a discount store in the nearby city and it often showed the wrong times, so there was a chance that his calculations were completely wrong. By that point, Wonwoo was considering getting up and leaving, although when he glanced towards the door in anticipation for his decision to take his leave, he noticed the sudden stirring in the opposite corner of the room and quickly turned to glance at it. It was the same sort of stirring that he'd seen when he was in bed, although he could see it a lot clearer whilst he had full control over his body. He waited in complete silence until the figure slowly emerged from the shadows and made its way over to him in an almost sultry manner before taking a seat next to him on the bench.

"Sorry, I got distracted looking at how beautiful you are," Mingyu told him right away. Contrary to the reports in all of the books about the god, Mingyu's voice came from his physical form instead of the statue. It caught Wonwoo off-guard slightly, although he chose not to bring it up. It wasn't like Mingyu really needed to know that he had looked through a number of books about him if he didn't know already, and if he did know, he didn't need to be reminded. The comment itself, though, didn't really bother him. Wonwoo figured that it was an attempt at flattery to make up for the fact that he was late, and so he worked by that assumption primarily.  
"You've had plenty of time to see me since I started contacting you seven years ago," he pointed out blandly. "But you've actually made me realise that I've never actually seen you properly. Am I allowed to see you properly?"

Mingyu hesitated. Wonwoo dared to reach out and touch him, and was relieved to find that he didn't flinch away. His skin was warmer than he anticipated, and so he carefully wrapped his fingers around the hand. Whilst he still wasn't happy with the god and certainly wasn't going to be on his back for him right away, he still wanted to coax him towards revealing himself properly. It was weird, since he wasn't really the sort of person who would try to convince someone to do anything by using physical contact, but he figured that at least that way, it would make it seem as if he really wanted to have a connection with Mingyu. At least then, he would be able to push the worries about his vague appearance to the back of his mind. He would be able to focus how upset he was with the god instead, and any arguments would be unaffected by the sudden appearance of an unfamiliar face.

He stood and made his way to each of the candlestands around the room and did something that Wonwoo couldn't exactly see to each of them. He made sure to keep his back turned the entire time so that Wonwoo couldn't see exactly what was happening, although he did try to crane his neck to see a few times. Suddenly, the room was filled with the glow of twenty or so candles, and then Mingyu slowly made his way back to the seat. Wonwoo inhaled deeply before turning towards Mingyu and then gazed carefully upon his face.

His features were actually attractive; Wonwoo couldn't even deny it. He had read a number of genetics books from the library which claimed that every generation was more attractive than the last, but Mingyu didn't even look as if he would be out of place in their village by being exceptionally unattractive. Perhaps his appearance updated constantly so that he looked attractive at all times. Perhaps there was something else to it. Wonwoo didn't really want to ask for now, but it was something that he would definitely bring up in the future. For now, he let his eyes wander over every inch of Mingyu's face, judging each feature along the way. It could have been the glow of the candlelight, but Mingyu's skin seemed to be significantly darker than that of the other people in the village. It was seen as an important part of beauty to be as pale as possible in their village, even though they would ultimately end up dating a childhood friend anyway. He was certain that no one cared about that sort of thing but he had still expected that the god's skin would be a lot paler than it appeared to be nonetheless. He actually preferred it, though, so it was hardly going to bring it up and potentially make Mingyu feel self-conscious.

Next, Wonwoo stared at his lips, watching how they conformed. They pursed slightly before plumping up again, and then his nervousness led him to bite down on either lip. It made them look relatively nice, although Wonwoo thought that lips were a bit overrated anyway. It was his eyes that were more important, but Wonwoo could hardly see them under the light of the room. From what he could see, though, he had the slightest hint of a double eyelid, although it wasn't too much for it to seem unnatural. It was clearly something that hadn't been adjusted, otherwise he guessed that the crease would be a lot more deliberate than it actually was. Mingyu's nose was pretty small but not quite a button, and his hair was soft against his face. Even his jaw and cheeks looked exceptional, although Wonwoo had to admit that the candles cast pretty large shadows over his skin, which emphasised his bone structure more than it would probably be visible under natural lighting.

He had to take a moment to recompose himself, honestly. It was a surreal experience to be able to see the god in front of him like that. He wasn't like any other representation that Wonwoo had ever seen, and he certainly didn't match how the books described him either. Perhaps when he was thought to be reborn, he actually started to look a lot different to how he used to look, Wonwoo mused. None of the boys had actually described him, so it would be a perfectly reasonable conclusion to make.

"So," Mingyu started after he'd given Wonwoo a decent amount of time to look at his face, "I'm not gonna ask you what you think because I'm pretty sure from your tone earlier that you're not happy with me, so what's on your mind?" The content feeling that had started to develop in Wonwoo's chest when he was staring at the god quickly began to diminish as he was dragged back into reality. It was something that he could have probably done without, if he was being completely honest. He didn't really know how to feel about the fact that Mingyu wanted to start by jumping into the reasons why he wasn't happy with him either. More than the topic itself, it seemed to be a bit of a poor topic to start with.

"Well, I'm bothered by the fact that you made my doubt your existence by simply not contacting me back at all," Wonwoo started. It all sounded possessive and almost alien to him when he said it out loud, but it was out there and he couldn't really take it back so he decided not to dwell on that matter. "And I could understand it if you didn't want to contact me for romantic reasons when I was too young for that, but I don't really see why you would leave me to cry to you every night because other people made me feel awful about myself. If you're really supposed to be my future husband, why would you make me feel as if I'm unwanted?"

Mingyu visibly seemed to be alarmed by the idea that he had neglected Wonwoo. His eyes widened and he sat in stunned silence for a moment before slowly opening his mouth. Even then, though, no words came out for a good thirty seconds. "I, uh," he started before taking a deep breath and running a hand over his face. "I have to apologise for doing that to you, but I'm not really supposed to tell you why I couldn't contact you. I can't even say that it was with good reason either, but... you just have to trust that I did have a reason." Wonwoo's eyebrows shot up instantly. He would have dropped it if Mingyu had left it by telling him that he wasn't allowed to tell him anything. He could have accepted that there were some things that he wasn't supposed to know, especially not this soon into their relationship. Yet, the fact that he mentioned it was without good reason really irked him right away. That was the only reason why he wanted to pursue it, if he was being completely honest, and so he proceeded to slowly cross his arms over his chest before turning to Mingyu as fully as he possibly could.

"Why aren't you supposed to tell me? I was really bothered all the way through my teen years because I thought that perhaps you'd seen me and figured that I was as unlovable as the other people in the village made me out to be." It was a bit of a low blow to guilt him like tht, but he figured that it would do the job just well. Mingyu confirmed it by shuffling to sit even straighter on the bench.  
"N-no, I didn't want you to have to feel like that and I'm really sorry for letting it get like that, but things were happening and I think the other gods will be annoyed at me if I mention it."  
"Annoyed? So you're not forbidden to tell me?"  
"Well, I'm sure that there's a rule about it somewhere too, but--"

"I'm going to start guessing, then. If I guess it right, you can't really deny me. Were you seeing another man?"  
"No, you're the first person in a long time."  
"Are your other partners living in your house still and you were distracted by them?"  
"No, they all passed away a long time ago. I pretty much just told you that."  
"Are your children getting in the way of everything, so you have to take care of them on your own? Maybe grandkids?"

Mingyu's face completely dropped. For a moment, Wonwoo sat in anticipation. Sure, he had been a little bit pushy with his questions, but he didn't think that he was too bad with what he had been asking. Mingyu would have had plenty of time to get over his previous partners' deaths and his children would probably be grown by that point, unless they had a special ability to grow at the same rate as Mingyu. If they had a lifespan of up to five thousand years, it would mean that they would still probably be small children by that point in time, assuming that their lifespan had human-like proportions. "Actually, they all died within a year or two of their other parent, so I don't actually have any children." Okay, so Wonwoo had messed up pretty badly. He hadn't really thought that Mingyu would say anything like that, but he immediately felt awful and dipped his head low.

"I'm sorry for how I just spoke to you. It was insensitive and I should have taken that into consideration," he told Mingyu, but the god simply shook his head and visibly swallowed.  
"I should get over it. It's just the flow of life. I see people from this village dying almost every year, including babies who were never known about. It's how things work." Mingyu's voice was a little bit lower and quieter than it had been beforehand. Wonwoo didn't know exactly why it was affecting him that much to discuss his children, since had probably had at least twenty or thirty partners by that point in time, but he genuinely did seem to be affected by it still and Wonwoo could hardly tell him that it wasn't a big enough deal for him to get that upset. Instead, he quietly apologised again and took Mingyu's hands back into his own.

He had gone there to be confrontational, but it had ended up backfiring a little bit and now he was feeling pretty bad about the situation. Of course, he still wasn't going to drop any of his standards - he didn't really like Mingyu's approach to everything and he certainly wasn't going to drop instantly to become Mingyu's husband - but he did feel that he might need to be a little bit gentler on the god. After all, even if he wasn't fond of the idea and he was definitely still upset with Mingyu, they were inevitably going to spend the rest of his life together at some point in time, so he really needed to put in at least a little bit of effort to avoid making Mingyu hate him forever.

"Perhaps I should leave for tonight before I end up making things worse," Wonwoo informed him, but Mingyu was quick to shake his head.  
"You only arrived here a little while ago and we haven't really had the chance to chat," he pointed out with the slightest hint of a whine in his tone. Wonwoo was slightly thrown off by the childishness of the whining, although he chose to simply ignore it.  
"We can do this tomorrow instead. There's plenty of time."

That was when Mingyu suddenly seemed panicked. He reached out to grab both of Wonwoo's biceps and held firmly as he stared up at him. He mouthed that he needed him to stay, but then Wonwoo moved to stand again and Mingyu tightened his grip.

"Please, Fei. Please stay. I'll do anything."


	7. Chapter 7

It was a slip of the tongue, Mingyu told him. An accident. He had been thinking about Fei because Wonwoo just happened to look a lot like her. He disappeared for a moment and returned with a portrait of her that was painted after their first child was born.

She wasn't quite how the books described her, Wonwoo noticed immediately. He had always anticipated that her features would be standard, but that would be what would make her appear particularly beautiful. Sometimes there wasn't anything extraordinarily different about a person, but they would still appear to be incredibly attractive because they were just proportional and normal looking. No, she was actually a lot prettier than he had expected. Her eyes weren't what he would describe as almonds, since they were smaller than the almond-eyed girls of his own generation, but she had less of a significant monolid than the girls in other paintings. The artist had paid particular attention to her eyes, making sure to paint them perfectly. There was a level of detail that ensured no attempt at describing it would do any justice. Everything from the shape to the colour; it was amazing. In fact, the colour was his favourite part. A deep nut brown - almost black, like a splatter of ink that had somehow stayed perfect and localised to that specific spot. The light source hit her face from the right side, which provided her irises with a bit of added tone. Where it hit, her eyes were touched by russet highlights, much like his own.

Then there was her eyebrow shape. Although his eyebrows were significantly thicker, they both shared the same flat eyebrow shape with the slightest of arches around three-quarters across. It was an eyebrow that didn't quite fit their heart-shaped faces, but it matched perfectly with the no-shit expressions on their faces. Their refined noses, on the other hand, fit perfectly. Not too small, but not too big. It left Wonwoo wondering whether Fei's nose flattened down slightly when she smiled too, but he didn't dare to ask. Instead, his eyes grazed briefly over her well-defined but perfectly formed philtrum before moving down to her lips. They were bow-shaped; pointy at the top but smooth and plump at the bottom. Her lips were equal in size and neither too light nor dark on her face. Wonwoo swallowed when he saw them. He had been trying to find some little differences between their faces, but he had reached their chins and still not found anything notable. So he began to panic. He searched for any little difference that he could find, and he ran with it.

"We don't share a complexion. I have beauty marks on my cheeks and a scar by my right eye. Her skin looks flawless in this painting."  
"Do you think she would want the artist to paint her exactly how she looked just after giving birth?" Mingyu pressed. "She wanted to look flawless. Who would want to be painted with huge eye bags and beauty marks when she's feeling at her worst? And yeah, she had the scar too. She fell off a bench as a child and clipped her face against the edge of it. She looked so much like you that it's unreal, and that's one of the reasons why I couldn't bring myself to talk to you for so many years."

"Well, what about her personality? What was she like?" It was a last-ditch attempt to try to create some distance between himself and Fei; an attempt to make them seem like they were a lot more individual. But when Mingyu simply swallowed and let his eyes drift down to his lap for a minute, Wonwoo knew the answer right away.  
"She was like you in that sense, too. To her parents, she seemed like the perfect kid, but she had a lot of issues going on. Even at thirteen years old, though, she was dealing with them like an adult. It's why we clicked so easily. She wanted to be mature, but I could tell that she was scared a lot of the time. And she was different when we finally got together and she came to live with me. Grumpy some of the time, but not in a cruel way. It was pretty funny; I would leave my dishes in my study and she would playfully hit me with the tea towel before snatching them up and calling me a slob." At that point, Mingyu's lips twitched into a fond smile. He closed them for a moment and thought, before opening them and looking up at Wonwoo again.

"Actually, she took me straight out of that bachelor lifestyle, where I wouldn't look after my place and rarely ate anything with nutritional value, and she completely turned that around. I can't live in mess anymore, I like to eat proper meals, and I'm really bothered when my laundry pile gets too high. She got me into pets too, although I haven't had one in quite some time. And on top of all of that, she was really playful and used to laugh around with me whenever she wasn't reading." It all sounded surreal. Wonwoo was certain that Mingyu was making it all up but then again, what would his reason be for doing so? Was there any reason at all? It just seemed pointless to lie about that sort of thing, especially when he would probably be caught out whenever they were supposed to be living together. It was just a lot of information to take in at one time, and it proved to be a huge struggle for him.

Not only did Fei look almost identical to him, but her personality matched his. Mingyu had been too nervous to talk to him because he resembled his first love so closely, and it was just weird and uncomfortable. It made a god anxious to talk to him. It just wasn't something that he could wrap his head around, but it strangely made sense. And then there was the fact that she even matched him when it came to her scars and complexion too; something that was so heavily affected by the environment that it didn't even make sense for them to be similar in that sort of way. Everything from the time spent in the sun to skin sensitivities to accidents; there were so many ways that complexion could be altered dramatically, but she had somehow managed to have similar enough circumstances to Wonwoo to be able to be similar in that sense, in addition to how she was similar to him in every other way.

"Was I reincarnated from her or something?" he eventually asked. It was the only thing that really made sense in his mind; there was no real way that they could be that alike otherwise. Perhaps that wasn't how reincarnation worked - perhaps they had to be massively dissimilar to their past selves or something so that it didn't mess up the flow of life - but it was something that would make a lot more sense in his mind. Mingyu's lips immediately twitched into a smile, though. A huge, bright smile that made his eyes crinkle and his nose scrunch slightly. It was a fond, appreciative smile, which was promptly followed by a head shake.  
"Humans don't get reincarnated. It's just a fact of life. I'm sorry to tell you, but religion isn't quite right in that sort of sense. It might seem as if you'd be able to be reborn as another person, but it's really hard to do and it wastes a lot of resources. Sure, it's recycling your soul and all, but it also involves wiping your memory, and that's really hard to do with certain memories. People used to get reincarnated, but you used to have so many issues with anxieties and phobias being passed on to the next person that it was just too much to be able to continue it."

"What about you, then?" Wonwoo asked without missing a beat. "I'm sure that the scriptures said that you died a couple of hundred years ago and were reborn with a completely new preference for boys instead of girls. Were you reincarnated or something?" At that, Mingyu gave a hum and a nod.  
"It sounds stupid, doesn't it? I get to be reincarnated, but you guys don't. I get to keep my memories, though. Of everything that's happened. It's a bit of a curse and a blessing; I remember every single person I've fallen in love with in great detail, which is really great when I miss them but it's awful when I'm forced to remember their last few moments. Does that make sense? That's exactly why we don't want to reincarnate humans. Imagine if one day you were walking past a farm of animals and a dog suddenly jumped out from nowhere and you started panicking for absolutely no reason. You knew that something was wrong, but you didn't know what it was. And then it turned out that you watched your life partner die during a dog attack several hundred years ago. That would be really weird, wouldn't it? But that's the reality of my life and I'm really glad that no one else has to share that."

The more Wonwoo thought about it, though, the more uncomfortable he was getting. He shuffled awkwardly on the spot, trying his hardest to still be upset with the way that Mingyu had had a slip of the tongue like that when they were supposed to be spending time together, but then he was left with more questions and simply had to get them out into the open. It was better that he knew the answers before they started living together than it would have been if he just left those questions until much later and had to adjust to the inconceivable ideas all in one go. That was, if they _did_ get to the point where they would be living together in the future. "So, you have to wash your clothes?" he asked curiously. Mingyu snorted.  
"Hundreds of questions that you could have asked, but you choose that one. Of course I wash my clothes. What else am I supposed to wear when they're all dirty?"  
"Do you hand-wash them or can you magic them clean or something?"  
"I'm a god, not a wizard. Our powers aren't supposed to be used for anything unnecessary and the council would have a fit at me if they found out that I was using my powers to wash my laundry."

"Council?" Wonwoo echoed, tilting his head slightly as he said the word. It sounded almost alien to him; he hadn't really considered that there would be a whole godly council but he supposed that there probably would need to be a board to make sure that everything worked out smoothly, once he thought about it a bit.  
"Yeah, I'm not the only god here. I was assigned to this village only because I'm pretty new to this, but there are some who are assigned to whole countries or even whole continents. And there are different ones for different things, like gods of life and death, gods of agriculture and industrialisation, and loads more. But the council is a little bit of an unofficial board, made up of all of the older gods who have been around since time began. They just make sure that the rest of us don't do anything stupid."

Again, Wonwoo didn't know how to take the information. The fact that there were probably hundreds of gods didn't make sense for him; it just seemed to be pushing things too far in his mind. But he figured that if Mingyu told him that, it was probably the facts and it wasn't for him to discuss any more than necessary. "So about food," he continued, "You actually still have to eat?" Mingyu couldn't contain his amusement again this time.  
"Well, I don't _have_ to eat, but... you know, eating is fun. And I have my reasons for it, but I can't really go into them until you're almost ready to join me at my place. It's sort of the stuff that your village isn't allowed to know, and it's really hard to keep that sort of thing hidden when you're probably going to be here for at least a few more months. You forget that they're not supposed to know, and then it all comes spilling out before you even know it."

Strangely, it only brushed the surface of his questions, but Wonwoo couldn't bring himself to ask any more. It just didn't feel as if he had the energy to ask such things, especially when he was supposed to be angry with Mingyu over the fact that he had addressed him by a past lover's name instead of his own. It was something that genuinely did upset him, and so he didn't really want to make Mingyu feel as if it was okay that it had happened in the first place. It certainly was not okay that it happened, and he wasn't really prepared to stand for that sort of slip up, even if it was due to the fact that they looked remarkably similar to each other. So he decided that it was time for him to go. He had been trying to leave for quite some time already but Mingyu had been insistent on him staying instead, so Wonwoo simply faked a yawn and informed the god that he needed to go. He needed to be awake early the following morning so that he could get to his classes and not need to worry about being too tired to pay attention. He stood and stretched as much as possible, noting how Mingyu immediately stood as well, and then turned to leave.

A hand grabbed for his arm and gently squeezed once. Wonwoo turned around to face the god again and raised an eyebrow. "I need to go, Mingyu."  
"Wait, can I kiss you first? I've not been able to talk to you for years and it's finally all coming together."  
"Is that the real reason, or will you be imagining that I'm Fei instead?" The nervousness on Mingyu's face instantly shattered but underneath, there was disappointment instead of shame or guilt.  
"No, I... I wanted to kiss _you_. Am I allowed to do that?" For a moment, Wonwoo genuinely considered it. He really did. He didn't want to be that person who was being petty for the sake of it. It just seemed pointless to be like that when they would ultimately end up being together in the end anyway. That was how his life had been mapped out, whether he liked it or not.

But then again, it would be his first kiss ever. Wonwoo had started out desperate to keep his first kiss for Mingyu. It was something that he prided himself in doing. Then he had given up and was just about ready to do anything in order to spite the god. He didn't want to be there to be Mingyu's pawn. He hadn't managed to kiss anyone, though, so it was still perfectly intact for when they decided that it was an appropriate step to take. Unfortunately for Mingyu, that day wasn't the day that Wonwoo would be giving him that pleasure. "You can kiss my cheek if you want, but I'd rather not be kissed on the lips. That will only come when I feel that we have feelings for each other." Mingyu didn't argue at all. Much like Wonwoo had been once he had given up on the god, Mingyu was happy to take any sort of contact. He gently pulled Wonwoo closer to his body and then proceeded to press a very delicate kiss to his cheek.

Wonwoo couldn't help but feel weird when they made contact. It was such a gentle kiss, but it was something that he could definitely feel. It was as if Mingyu was another person; a real, living person and not just some entity without a solid form as he had imagined. He was another human in form, even if he wasn't human in reality. It left him considering whether or not to snatch up his lips so that he could check whether it was just his body's expectation for the contact, but he quickly decided against it and just moved away slightly once the kiss had been given. "Thank you," he said quietly, finding right away that he was unsure as to whether he was thanking Mingyu for the kiss, for respecting his wishes, for showing that he was just another person, or for everything all together. He dipped his head in a slight bow before making his way straight out of the temple, then made his way straight home. His mother was still in the main room, having waited up for him, and her head immediately snapped around as she heard him coming through the door.

"How was it?" she asked right away. Wonwoo let out an exasperated laugh and sat down next to her in a way that was strangely calmer than his sudden burst of emotions.  
"I don't know whether I like him or not," he confessed as he sank back against the sofa. "I saw him properly for the first time today."  
"Is he ugly or something? I suppose that he's probably pretty old by this point, hm?"  
"No no, he's attractive. Young, has a nice face, is tall. It's just..." Wonwoo took in a deep breath and tried his hardest to find the words that he needed to say. They didn't come to him quite as naturally as he had hoped. It was uncomfortable, since he had always really had a way with words.

"I mean, he showed me a portrait of his first wife," he eventually confessed. His mother's eyebrows shot up right away.  
"That's pretty disrespectful, isn't it? How many years has it been since then, according to the books? Over two-thousand years?"  
"Over two-thousand years," Wonwoo echoed before giving a sigh. For a moment, he just sat there. He didn't really know what else to do; the situation just seemed so surreal that he didn't know what else there was to do. And then finally, the words came to him. He sat upright again and turned to face his mother again. "You know, I don't understand how that temple is still standing after so many years. It's not as if anyone uses it anymore."

His mother gave a hum of acknowledgement and then promptly shrugged. "I don't know," she admitted, "Maybe he's doing something to preserve it. After all, it is his home, isn't it?" That was pretty much the end of the conversation. They sat there for a while longer until Wonwoo figured that it was time to go to bed, and so he promptly thanked his mother for waiting up for him to get home before making his way straight to his room. 

Although his mind was still whirring, Wonwoo found that it was easy enough to fall asleep. So many things had happened around him that he couldn't bring himself to spend too much time overthinking it. There was no way that his eyes were staying open any longer than necessary, and so he quickly allowed it to consume him until the morning came. By the time he woke, his mind was completely clear again and his time spent with Mingyu felt like a distant memory. He took a good amount of time to wash and get ready for his classes, and then took a slow walk over when he was ready to do so. Whilst he still had plenty of time to get where he needed to be, he wanted nothing more than to be outside for a little longer than usual. It was his way of relaxing before the bustle of the day's responsibilities began to harass him.

But then he heard it. Or rather, _him_. A cough to start with, but then a very deliberate noise to catch his attention. Wonwoo immediately felt his body start up panic mode; his heart began to race and he could feel the adrenaline starting to kick in. He couldn't let Mingyu know that he heard him, though; he didn't know what it was exactly, but he felt an overwhelming sensation that he needed a bit of space from Mingyu. Sure, they had only interacted properly around twenty-four hours ago, but he still didn't know how he felt about everything and so there was no need for the god to push for him to hurry and delve straight into their relationship. In fact, there was no need to rush at all; he had plenty of time to be with him, and now was his time.

There were actually a good few issues introduced by Mingyu when he tried to push for them to start interacting right away. Firstly, Wonwoo had never been in a relationship before. He didn't know how to be in a relationship with another person because he had never really felt anything for anyone before and had never engaged in that sort of relationship with another person. He didn't know whether that was what Mingyu was trying to push, but he didn't know whether he liked it either way. When he thought about it, they probably didn't need to date. They could skip right to being engaged because they knew that they would end up having to get married at some point in the future. It was written in countless books and etched into the foundations of his community. The person who could hear Mingyu's voice and see him in the flesh would be the person who would end up spending their life with him. That was just how things were. But then again, could they really take a relationship for granted? If Wonwoo had any say in the situation, he wouldn't really want to start things off by being in a relationship with Mingyu by default. He wanted to be wooed until he fell in love with the god properly. And he certainly wasn't going to get to that stage any time soon when Mingyu was balancing between leaving him guessing and bothering him unnecessarily.

Secondly, there was the fact that he wasn't exactly an affectionate sort of person. Wonwoo needed that space whether he was interacting with a friend or a lover. He hadn't really had the best of luck when it came to making friends. His future involvement with their god was the ongoing elephant in the room when he was growing up, and it meant that he needed a lot of time to recharge between interactions. Seeing each other late at night and then coming in contact again early the following morning just simply wasn't going to work for him. He couldn't stand the thought that they would have to be around each other all over again and start working towards a romantic relationship. Which led him to his third issue.

When Mingyu finally spoke to him, the formalities of their previous interactions were lost right away. It was as if that so-called shyness was starting to emerge from the depths of Mingyu's soul; as if his feelings about Wonwoo looking remarkably similar to Fei were getting the better of him again and whilst he could put it to one side during their interaction the night before, it was a completely different story once they had had the time to reflect upon it all. He was already like a puppy who had spent too much time away from his owner. It was rather unnerving, actually. "Wonwoo, it's morning," he announced, as if it wasn't obvious that it was morning. "Did you sleep well last night? I didn't see you getting breakfast on your way out of the house this morning. Did you not feel hungry? You really need to make sure that you look after yourself."

And so it began.

If Wonwoo said that it stopped there, he would be lying. It was something that somehow lasted all day. Every time there was a quiet moment, Wonwoo's head would be filled with the god's voice. Asking him questions, discussing things that had been happening in class. He would be there all the time. And even when he was actually learning and Mingyu just about managed to bite his tongue and stop himself from bothering Wonwoo, there was still a sense that he was there. A strong, overpowering sense right in the pit of his stomach. It was as if he could hear Mingyu breathing in his head, although he knew that the god wouldn't allow him to hear that sort of thing. He had the ability to stop himself from appearing in Wonwoo's head, so he surely wouldn't sit there breathing and waiting for the next point where he would be allowed to speak.

Then, at the end of lessons, he began to get worse. "Are you done for the day? Are you going to get some food? Make sure that you're eating well and that you really take care, okay? What about tonight? Are you going to come to the temple and see me? I could bring you a gift or something. I don't know what you like yet but I'll bring it to you if you tell me what you like." Wonwoo wanted nothing more than to tell him to shut up. He wanted to physically extract the god out of his head; make sure that he couldn't hear his insistent chatter any longer. It was unusual how quickly he got wound up over it - after all, he wasn't exactly the sort of person who got irritated easily - but he supposed that perhaps it was a direct result of hearing Mingyu's voice booming in his mind. It got in the way of his thoughts and interactions, and that was something that he really hated. He liked to feel as if he had full control over everything that happened in his mind, to the point where he could distract himself from ill-thoughts or remember particularly complex information, but this proved that he didn't have quite as much control as he had hoped.

But telling him to stop would only encourage him further. Mingyu wanted attention. That was why he had to be around constantly, finding ways to bug Wonwoo and make sure that he was always there. It was grating on Wonwoo's patience, but he tried his hardest to keep it all inside so that hopefully Mingyu would stop. Eventually, though, he ended up slamming his book down on to his desk and squeezed his eyes shut, having finally given in to the demands. The sudden bang startled the god, who quickly grew silent. "Could you _please_ give it a rest? I need time to myself. I don't want to have to be around people all the time. I need to recharge and rest, and _then_ I'll talk to you, okay?" His voice came out harsher than he had intended it to, but Mingyu was a lot quieter than he had been beforehand. To start with, Wonwoo considered that he might have scared him away by slamming his book down. Of course, Mingyu proved that wrong quickly enough.

"How long will you need? A few hours? A few days?"  
"I'll just..." Wonwoo started, his voice coming out in a single breath. "I'll just let you know whenever I'm ready for you to come back, okay?"  
"Try not to be too long, okay? I'll miss you when you're gone. I like you a lot already, so I think it'll be hard if you're gone for too many days." That was where Wonwoo left it. He simply got back to his work and enjoyed the silence that engulfed the room. A warm silence that made him feel comforted and happy, even though it could have easily made his life hell. It could have been the silence that made him uncomfortable enough to do anything, from wasting his time to starting some other tasks that had been left undone until that point, but it ended up being the silence that helped him to be productive and kept him calm until he eventually went to sleep.

When he woke, though, it became even more apparent that he had gotten everything wrong about Mingyu. No, he wasn't a puppy at all. A puppy made it obvious that he was there. A puppy would have continued to annoy him directly and demand his attention even when he was asked to go away. As it turned out, Mingyu was more of a cat.

A cat who wanted nothing more than to be around him but made sure to be subtle with his approach to being nearby. Wonwoo started out his day thinking that he wouldn't hear anything from Mingyu until he was ready to be around him again. It would probably only last until that evening - once he had finished all of his work - and then he would give him another shot. Something short and sweet before asking for his space again. That was how relationships were always portrayed in his books anyway, so that was how he assumed it would work out. But no. He didn't even make it until midday before he heard him again. Not a cough this time, nor his voice. Instead, it was _crunching_. Slow. Rhythmic. Crunch. Crunch. Crunch. Swallow. Mouth open. Mouth closed. Crunch. Crunch. In the beginning, Wonwoo was certain that he was mishearing it or something, but then the crunching began to fade out as if it was some sort of vision from a movie. At that point, he knew right away that he was hearing what Mingyu was doing.

He was a cat in the sense that he tried to make it seem incidental. Oh, they just happened to be in the same room at the same time? What a coincidence. Whilst he's there, Wonwoo might as well pay him attention and make him feel as if he belonged there. It was the same sort of concept, but with him making various noise to capture Wonwoo's attention. What began as a crunch gradually turned to the sound of his shower; to the sound of him cleaning his house using something in a spray bottle; to the sound of him cooking dinner. Mingyu was hardly one of the most elegant people in the world, it seemed, so the noises weren't simply isolated. The sound of food sizzling might be accompanied by the thud of him walking into something, for example. The sound of his shower might, unfortunately, be joined with the sound of him dropping the soap and then groaning as he reached down to pick it up.

And it _unfortunately_ left Wonwoo's thoughts running. By the time he was in bed again that evening - having gone to sleep a lot earlier than he needed to, in hopes that it would clear his head again - the thoughts of what he could have possibly been doing filled his head louder than Mingyu's insistent fumbling had done. His mind drifted to the image of Mingyu in the shower, cleaning his body without bothering to use a sponge or washcloth. They just harboured bacteria - or perhaps it was a nod to the fact that Wonwoo's family had never owned either unnecessary luxury. His hands ran through dark hair as he tilted his head back; his eyes closed and the water ran over exposed flesh, trickling down the sides of his face and over his laryngeal prominence. Once he was satisfied that he had washed the shampoo out properly, he would blindly reach out for the soap bottle. It was an easy enough task; there were only two bottles for him to choose from and the correct one was significantly larger than the incorrect one.

He grabbed for the soap bottle but his grip was too loose and it slipped. Only then did he open an eye, taking note of the fact that it was now on the completely opposite side of the tub. He let out a grunt of annoyance before reaching down to grab it. And then the thought would come to him. He was an adult man who lived on his own, but not for much longer. Shower time was his own personal time. It was for him to spend time doing whatever it was that men did in the shower. He imagined that someone else was in the shower and he had dropped the soap intentionally so that he was spread and ready to be taken. Before he stood, he slipped a finger into himself and let out a noise of desperation; a noise of desire. He stood again, keeping the finger in place, and then gripped himself with his spare hand once the soap was safely back on the edge of the tub. Screw getting clean; he was only going to get himself filthy all over again if he started washing now. He pulled back the skin slightl--

Wonwoo woke up in a cold sweat. His entire body was on fire, despite the coolness around him. He sat upright, taking in the fact that the room was still dark. Naturally, it was still late at night. He reached over to check the time on his alarm clock, only to find that it wasn't there. Instead, he was faced with a rough sensation underneath his fingertips. Confused, he grabbed a handful of whatever was underneath his hand. It crunched slightly, much like how an autumn leaf would crunch.

Then there was panting. Heavy panting and growling. The sound of feet on the leaves. Wonwoo's senses were aroused instantly and his eyes adjusted to the darkness. He was back in the forest again, and something was after him.

He stood right away, wobbling slightly from the sudden sense of being on his feet. His ears were hypersensitive to the sound of the leaves underfoot. They echoed in the night air, making sure that his attacker could hear exactly where he was. He could hear the creature making its way after him, the sounds growing louder. And then there were more. And then more. It was as if the creature had called its friends to help. At least one of them was going to be able to break him and take his life. Wonwoo continued to bolt through the forest, kicking up leaves as he went. Unlike the last time he was there, his lungs began to burn from the lactic acid build up - a direct result of trying to maintain his pace for too long - and then a branch underfoot made sure that he went down before he had the chance to prepare for his ultimate death. They were on him in an instant; one snap and he was--

Well. He was floating on water. A hand pulled him out before it had even registered in his mind that he was back on the water. "Wow, they almost tore your pretty face," the voice said. It had a slight familiarity laced around each word, but the voice was also distorted so much that he couldn't figure out who the voice could possibly belong to. In fact, before he even considered who the owner could be, they pulled him into a hard kiss. Fingernails dug into his hands, as if scared to let him go, but the lips were so gentle. Wonwoo was strangely aware that it was a dream by that point, but those lips felt so real - so loving - that he genuinely had to ask whether it counted as his first kiss or not.

When he woke up, Wonwoo's entire body was burning up. If he hadn't been so big on his education, he would have surely not bothered to turn up to classes. Instead, he decided to drag himself to the bathroom and wash for as long as he could manage before the anxiety of approaching lateness loomed over him, and then promptly got out of the shower to get ready. He could still feel his heart thumping hard in his chest when he left for classes that morning, and that feeling of panic stayed with him until almost noon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've added a chapter number but it's not definite yet; most of the plot points have been planned out but I have a feeling that I need at least a handful more to make things work out how I'd like them to work. We'll see though!!
> 
> Thank you for reading!! <3


	8. Chapter 8

"I know I said that I would give you space and all," Mingyu announced the following morning when Wonwoo was on the way to his classes, "But I couldn't help but notice what you dreamed about last night."

Wonwoo felt a strange feeling of relief wash over his body when he heard that. It was weird; he had never been so glad that the god could see into his thoughts and dreams, and he was absolutely relieved that he could talk to him about it. It was the dream of being in the forest again that bothered him, and having it a second time was something that really bugged him. It suggested that the dream held some significance in his mind, and he wanted to know exactly what the significance was. It was a breath of ease, he supposed, and he couldn't even begin to explain how it felt to know that he could actually discuss it with another person. "Could you care to tell me a little bit more?" Wonwoo asked, choosing right away to break his silence to discuss the topic right away. Instead of hearing a reply right away, though, Mingyu gave a little laugh. It was confusing, but he didn't question it out loud.

"Have you forgotten about it already?" Mingyu purred. "You dreamed about watching me masturbating in the shower, and you were in you spent almost an hour dry-humping your mattress like some sort of animal in a rut. I couldn't help but watch you - I'm really sorry that I didn't look away when I could see you doing that sort of thing, but it was really attractive to see you getting so hot and heavy. And then when you imagined how I must look naked--"  
"Wait," Wonwoo breathed. His mind suddenly grew blank; confused. He didn't really know how to respond to such a statement, seeing as it was hardly the dream he expected to be brought up, but then he had to say something so that Mingyu would know that he needed to have a serious chat about the dream that had been on his mind in the first place. And sure, it was probably more pleasant to talk about the dream where he imagined Mingyu stroking himself in the shower, but it wasn't quite as important as the forest dream.

"It's not the one I thought you meant," he told the god right away. There was a sudden silence between them, which immediately left Wonwoo wondering if it was a bad topic to bring up now, but then Mingyu simply gave a sigh.  
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought up dreams at all. You probably already know this, but I can't tell you anything about that one. I was just so interested in the thought of you imagining me masturbating that I couldn't help myself. It's my fault entirely, and I really do hope that you'll be able to forgive me for talking about it like that." It was so sudden that Wonwoo was left wondering what had happened. To start with, he couldn't conjure up anything to say at all, but then quickly forced something out so that they couldn't simply move past the topic as if it was just a way for Mingyu to get him talking again.  
"Mingyu, I... I'd like to know about the other dream, though. I brought it up now, so I want to know at least a little bit about it. Just the information that you _can_ tell me." Again, another silence came between them. Wonwoo didn't really know what to do with himself at that point, since it just seemed to be a bit of a mood-killer to go to class and have to deal with the feelings of disappointment that came alongside not knowing anything, and so he began to change his route so that he could go to the temple instead of the school. Seemingly, Mingyu noticed right away, and it snapped him straight out of the silence.

"Hey, hey. You shouldn't be skipping class because of this. I said I can't tell you about it, so there's no point in--"  
"I need to know about it. I've tried to research it and I don't like the explanation that I'm getting from the books. If you tell me just one little detail about the dream, I'll talk to you more about the other dream. I promise that to you." At that point, it was clear that Mingyu considered it. He let out a little hum, as if he was weighing up the options in his head, and then gave another little sigh. This time, it was laced with a hint of defeat, rather than being a tell-tale sign that he wasn't able to reveal any information, and so as soon as Wonwoo was in the temple and sat down, Mingyu crept out from the corner of the room to sit next to him. Right away, they were sat thigh to thigh, and his eyes were upon Wonwoo's face in such a loving way that Wonwoo almost felt bad for being so demanding. If it wasn't for the fact that he really needed to know how to approach the dream, he probably would have dropped it after seeing that face.

"So?"  
"Um... okay, so," Mingyu started before stopping again. It was clear that he was considering what he could possibly say without revealing too much, but there was only so much thinking that he could do before Wonwoo began to get impatient. At that point, he continued. "It might be the case that you can see little aspects of the lives of some of my past loves, now that you're confirmed to be my future husband. Just little snapshots; nothing too big. But then some of it is going to be a dream-like situation, instead of being something that could realistically happen. So you're gonna have to keep that in mind in case you do get these sorts of dreams again." Wonwoo's mind was suddenly whirring. Every thought raced through his head in a matter of seconds; he needed answers right away, and he wanted nothing more than to know all of the details about these snapshots into Mingyu's deceased lovers' lifes now that he'd received hints about them. He knew that there was no chance that Mingyu would tell him about them all, especially since it took so much to actually get the first bit of information out of him, but then again, he figured that it would probably be okay if _he_ was the one to actually bring something up. If it wasn't new information, then it probably wasn't forbidden for Mingyu to tell him about it.

So he moved his hand to touch Mingyu's, in hopes that it would encourage him to give the answers that he sought. Mingyu immediately inhaled a sharp breath as Wonwoo's fingers wrapped around his own. "Can you tell me which of them got attacked by wolves?"  
"Oh, they're not wolves." Mingyu's response came on reflex, and he immediately winced when he realised what he had said. "Ah damn, take that back. Take it back. Forget I said anything."  
"Mingyu?"  
"Look, they're wolves now, okay? They have to be wolves because I can't have you asking more questions about them."

The fear in Mingyu's tone was very apparent. Wonwoo simply stayed silent, figuring that it would be best if he was to keep his thoughts to himself. After all, they didn't seem to be getting him very far at all. If anything, they were just making him feel guilty now. Mingyu's hand snapped away from underneath his palm, and Wonwoo's heart sank down towards his stomach. He didn't know how he could even come back after pushing Mingyu like that, although he supposed that it would have to be something that would make him forget everything that he had spoken about up until that point. It had to be something that would make it seem as if he was interested in him properly so that it didn't feel as if he was using Mingyu whenever he needed answers for something. It had to be something to do with the other dream, Wonwoo supposed.

"So, the other dream?" he whispered, his voice cracking slightly as he tried to lower it below its range. Mingyu didn't answer to start with, and so Wonwoo continued. "I didn't realise that you would be able to see both my body and my mind at once. Did you see everything?" No immediate answer again. "It's embarrassing that you got to see how I imagined you to look without clothes. That you know what size I expect you to be and all." This time, Mingyu's eyes drifted back towards Wonwoo's face. They hesitated for a moment, and then slowly dropped down towards his lap again. Wonwoo considered speaking again, figuring that it would show how much he cared that he had upset Mingyu if he continued to make an effort, but he was quickly cut off by Mingyu's mumbles.  
"I can change it, if you'd like that."  
"I'm sorry?"  
"I can make it bigger, if you'd like. I'm not supposed to change parts of my physical appearance but I..."

Mingyu paused for a moment, obviously considering if he was about to say something that wasn't allowed. After a moment of weighing it up, though, he shifted his gaze back up to Wonwoo's face. "You know, when you're dating a girl and she's never had a man before, sometimes it's really hard to fit in there. So I had to adjust myself so that I was a bit smaller for some of the girls. But then there was one who wanted it bigger and I guess I tried and it worked too. So I can change the size if you want." That was probably the last thing that Wonwoo expected him to admit. For a moment, he was frozen on the spot with his mouth open slightly. When he realised that his jaw was starting to hang, he quickly snapped his mouth shut, and then swallowed the lump that was starting to form in his throat as he somehow managed to shuffle even closer to the god. He leant in slowly until his mouth was right next to Mingyu's ear.  
"I don't know if I should be saying this in a temple but I think five to six is plenty enough, thank you. Besides, you don't want your guy to be too big to start with. It's still a sensitive area, even though it can adjust to different sizes a little bit easier in most people."

Well, there was no denying that it caught Mingyu's attention. It was clear that he was starting to get worked up right away; Wonwoo could see that his ears and cheeks were already starting to flush and there was a desperation in his eyes. He looked even more attentive than usual, and his hands were grasping at whatever they could find. The nails of one hand were digging into his clothed thigh, and the other was curled around the bench that they were sat on. It was clear that he was concerned about discussing something so intimate in a temple too - since Wonwoo had brought up his own discomfort with the idea - but at the same time he was conflicted because it was his own space and it didn't matter what he happened to do there. There was also likely a hint of concern, since Wonwoo had explicitly said that he didn't want to be kissed until they were sure that they wanted each other, but likewise kissing was romantic whereas physical intimacy didn't really require either people to have feelings for each other. It was all difficult for him, Wonwoo figured, and so he created the slightest bit of distance between them so that it became clear that he wasn't looking to take things further just yet.

And so Mingyu merely let out the deep breath that he had been holding. "You're making me feel things that I shouldn't be feeling this soon into our relationship," he pointed out. Wonwoo fought the urge to point out that they weren't really in a relationship just yet. He figured that it was probably the exact wrong time for him to bring that sort of thing up, and so he simply kept his mouth shut and offered up an awkward smile instead.  
"I'm sorry that I did that to you when I'm not ready to take those steps just yet," he announced, reaching forward to stroke Mingyu's hand again. The god's back arched slightly, Wonwoo noted, but he still remained relatively composed. He just tried his hardest to control his breathing and calm himself down, even though he knew that he was in the mood to take things further, and Wonwoo honestly had to appreciate that.

The conversation moved on at that point. They discussed other things that they hadn't gotten around to doing and it was strangely fine for Wonwoo to talk so much, even though he hadn't quite been ready to spend time with the god again. He had been planning on leaving it for at least another full day but since he was already there to discuss the dreams, he figured that he might as well go for it and sate the god's desires to spend time together. It wouldn't hurt him now that he was in the mood for conversation, so there was no point in cutting it off. Then they eventually got to the topic of Wonwoo's education, and that was where everything became awkward.

"How come you're so ready to avoid going to your classes when you always come across as the sort of guy who really cares about his education?" Mingyu asked as he slowly shifted his hand back towards Wonwoo's hand. It was probably an attempt to show that it wasn't meant as a criticism, Wonwoo figured, although it didn't really matter that much because he didn't mind the question as much as Mingyu probably thought he did. He gave a little shrug to start with, although he knew the answer right away.  
"I guess it's more that I'm not interested, I guess. I want to go to university and prove myself to my family, but I'm not interested in what I'm learning. I either know it already or I can learn more from studying on my own. It's pretty much a waste of my time unless we're looking at exam techniques."

Mingyu looked amazed, even though it wasn't all that impressive. "Wow, what's your current grade, then?"  
"I usually only drop a mark or two during the exams. It's not that much of an achievement, but it's enough to get me into a good university. I suppose that if I were to turn up, I might be able to snatch up those final few points, but I also think that having my own time to study has given me the chance to add in information that no one else has considered. Does that make sense?" Mingyu gave a nod. Much like how Wonwoo was earlier, the god's mouth was hanging slightly open, and he seemed to be pretty impressed. Wonwoo could feel the slightest tingle of pride in his chest, although he figured that it was best not to make that much obvious. Instead, he gave a humble smile and wrapped his fingers around Mingyu's again. "In fact, I think I'd prefer to go to big seminars than classes. Much like how they do in proper university classes. There's one on the other side of the city this Friday, but I don't have the means of going so I simply have to either dream about going to that sort of thing, or I have to find a way to earn enough money to attend."

This seemingly caught Mingyu's attention more than Wonwoo anticipated. He had only been pouring out his feelings about education, but Mingyu had come to attention fully again. His eyes were on Wonwoo's features the entire time, and he was obviously very interested in what he wanted to say, and then he gave a little hum of acknowledgement as soon as Wonwoo had finished speaking. "Do you know how much it costs?"  
"It's too much for me to get overnight, you know. And too much for me to borrow from any of my friends or family. It's around 200,000W since it's being taught by one of the top lecturers in the country, and that's not including transport. So there's no chance of me going at all."  
"Even if I paid for it for you?"

That came as a surprise. Wonwoo's eyebrows shot right up and he stared at the god in silence. It was probably the last thing he expected to come out of his mouth, seeing as he had only really been rambling in order to show the god that he wasn't just going to slack off when his education did genuinely mean a lot to him. Of course, he couldn't accept that sort of gift, but it was so bizarre that someone would offer it so outright to him that he was shocked. "I don't think you should do that," he eventually said, "It's not like I can go to university anyway. Do you understand how expensive it is for me to attend university? My family saved up for almost twenty years for my brother to be able to go to the one he wanted to go to, and they have next to nothing saved up for my degree. So there's no point in me doing something like that."  
"How much will it cost?"  
"43,000,000W. And that's not including living costs, which are going to bump it up nearer to 60,000,000W."

Mingyu didn't even seem fazed in the slightest. He stared at Wonwoo expectantly. "Do you know how much we have in the bank, Mingyu?" Wonwoo finally continued. The god continued staring at him in silence, showing right away that he had no idea at all. "We have around 150,000W. And I won't be using that for my degree because we're using it to breed our mare with an ex-racehorse so that her foals will sell for more money in around six years when they're old enough and broken in for riders."

Only then did he seem to understand what the issue at hand was. Mingyu looked mildly uncomfortable as he shuffled on the bench. "Okay, I can see the problem here. But what if I paid for you to go to the seminar and then paid for you to take your degree too?"  
"Don't be ridiculous."  
"No, I'm serious. Think about it. You're going to be giving the rest of your life to me, and you'll be leaving your family in order to pursue a life together. I technically don't need money at all, since I'm not really going to use it for anything important, so you might as well be the one to use it. This isn't like a regular relationship, Wonwoo; you don't need to feel as if you need to pay it back because it doesn't mean anything to me."

The issue was, though, that Wonwoo did feel as if he needed to pay it back in some sort of way. Even though the god obviously had no real need for money or anything like that, there were other things that he might need instead. Other things that would make the relationship feel less skewed; as if he was getting something that was worth his time. And it made Wonwoo uncomfortable to think about that sort of thing, but then he knew that he would have to do that sort of thing to make himself feel better about the fact that he was essentially using Mingyu for everything that he could get out of him. Again, he tried to reject the offer but Mingyu pushed that it was more important that Wonwoo lived without regrets whilst he was still able to live in the village, and so eventually Wonwoo gave in and offered up a little nod.

"If you give me ten minutes, I'll sort out the travel arrangements and get the tickets for you. Just wait here for me." Wonwoo could hardly believe that Mingyu was going to do that right there and then, but he waited nonetheless. There was nothing that he could really lose from waiting there anyway, plus it gave him a little bit more time to think about exactly how he was going to make it up to the god. He figured that the first step was to offer up his first kiss. Sure, he had said that he wasn't ready to take that step just yet - and it was very much true that he still wasn't ready for it - but he could always say that he had changed his mind and wanted to go ahead and give Mingyu that gift. So he stayed silent and still as he waited for Mingyu to get back to the temple, and then tried his hardest to remain completely calm when he arrived back with just an envelope in hand. "It has your train tickets and a pass to the seminar too. I'll be there to help you if you need anything, but I'm gonna let you have tomorrow to yourself. Just make sure that your teachers know so that they don't end up contacting your parents about you not being in class."

Wonwoo could have argued with it, since he didn't really care about the whole idea of speaking to his teachers about it, but he quickly decided against it. After all, it would ruin what he was about to say, and so the thought of doing that was pushed right to the back of his mind as he took the envelope and thanked Mingyu for it. "Now," he started as he moved forward to grab Mingyu's hands, "I think I need to find a better way to thank you, too. Something a little bit more... appropriate." His eyes moved up to Mingyu's face and rested there for a moment. Mingyu's eyes were slightly wider than usual, as if he was expecting something really bad to happen. It was as if he was a rabbit caught in headlights and he didn't have the strength to run. It meant that Wonwoo needed to hurry and get his suggestion out there so that the god wasn't left worrying about what was going to come next. "I think you should get my first kiss now. Seeing as you've done something so great for me."

"Your first kiss?" Mingyu echoed, his eyes growing even wider. "Are you in love with me already?" Wonwoo almost cringed, but somehow managed to cover it up very quickly by pressing a fingertip to Mingyu's lips right at the end of his question so that he couldn't ask anything else.  
"Perhaps not _quite_ but I do think that it's best if we get it out of the way. I've been thinking about it a lot, and most couples get their first kiss over after just a few weeks. And seeing as I've been waiting for you for years now, perhaps it's appropriate to skip an even longer wait." It was more babble than anything, if he was being honest. An attempt to convince himself as much as an attempt to convince Mingyu. He still didn't feel the emotional connection that a lover would feel, but it was enough for him to reconsider his stance completely and let Mingyu do whatever he wanted to do. So he shuffled forward in an encouraging manner, showing right away that he wanted nothing more than to be kissed properly right away.

Although Mingyu had been unsure to start with, he quickly dropped that stance and did exactly what was expected of him. He slowly moved forward until they were almost touching, hesitated for just long enough for Wonwoo to move back if he had changed his mind in the last few seconds, and then promptly touched their lips together. And admittedly, it was everything that Wonwoo had imagined when he was growing up. The kiss was soft and gentle; nothing too rough or hard. Even though Mingyu obviously shaved his face - as shown by the tell-tale greying under his chin and the slightest hints of stubble around his jaw - Wonwoo was surprised to find that his face was soft and not scratchy. His lips were perfectly plump and warm, and he made sure not to push the kiss too far right away. It was weird, but Wonwoo couldn't help but enjoy the experience.

Then his body began to become alive. His senses were heightened more than they had ever been before. He was consciously aware of his own heartbeat in his chest, and he could hear another heartbeat beating along his own as the kiss continued. He couldn't really tell whose heartbeat it was, but it was gradually starting to synchronise with his own so he supposed that it might have been Mingyu's heart. Then the scents of bodies filled his nose. The warm, buttery scent of Mingyu, and the slightest hint of raspberry on his hair. The scents were mismatched but homely, reminding him of a warm, comfortable place in front of a huge fire. It reminded him of cold winters where he and Mingyu were curled up together and had a dog on the white shag rug in front of them. Mingyu's body was what was warming Wonwoo the most, especially since they were laid chest to chest with nothing to cover their skin, and Mingyu's hand was on his--

Wonwoo's other senses were about to start taking the centre stage before he pulled away. Perhaps he was a bit too forceful as he backed up, as Mingyu immediately looked at him with confusion on his face, but Wonwoo couldn't bear to be connected to his body anymore. He didn't know exactly what had happened, but he figured that it was best not to ask about it. After all, he didn't think he could take more rejection that day, after the amount that he had received leading up to that moment. So instead, he put on a happy face and let his eyes drop down towards his lap. "Sorry, I just remembered that I had offered to help my mother with the cows this afternoon."

"You thought about that during our first kiss?"  
"Yeah, well..." Wonwoo trailed off for a moment as he tried to think of how to make things sound better than they were. Eventually he settled on something, though; something that was very much a lie but would probably make Mingyu feel a little bit better about himself. "It was just an amazing first kiss and I could feel it starting to get to me, and so I was trying to think about other things at the same time so that I didn't end up wanting to ask you to take things further with me." Of course, Mingyu's cheeks instantly flushed. His eyes widened again, and he stared in complete silence for a moment before breaking into a huge grin.  
"You thought you were gonna...?"  
"I've never even hugged a guy who isn't a part of my family before, you know. And when your hormones start going all over the place, sometimes you can't help how you feel."

Mingyu was grinning from ear to ear. His entire face had lit up in a way that was goofy and far from the perfect image that he had put across until that point, but he still looked beautiful regardless. It was weird; Wonwoo was seeing a childish side to Mingyu more and more, and he didn't really know whether he liked seeing it or not. On one hand, it was far from what he would expect from a god, but then again, it was something that made him seem a little bit more human. It meant that he seemed like more of an equal than someone who was above Wonwoo when it came to their relationship, which was comforting.

"Can I have one more kiss before you go, though? Just a really quick one?" Wonwoo couldn't really bring himself to reject the request, so he allowed the god to press their lips together once more before taking his leave. Without even daring a glance back at the temple, he made his way straight home and through to the kitchen, where he knew his mother would be preparing lunch. She seemed surprised when he made his way into the house but simply continued with her work instead of questioning it.

Strangely, the afternoon passed quickly and it was easy enough for Wonwoo to fall asleep. He had been expecting that he would struggle to get enough rest, seeing as he was going to be leaving the village for the first time in his life the following morning, but he found that it didn't really feel all that real when his head hit the pillow. It was as if it was still a fantasy; still something that didn't really matter to him that much. Even though it was something that was really going to help with his future, he didn't really feel the emotional connection that he had expected to have with the seminar. It was as if his mind was convinced that it was all a lie. But by the morning, the envelope was still on his desk and it still had the appropriate tickets inside. First-class tickets to the conference hall, and then priority entry into the seminar. It wasn't like he really wanted to have such high-class tickets, but he wasn't really going to complain when Mingyu gave them to him. It was just something else that had exceeded his expectations, just like the fact that he was actually attending the seminar had done.

The air outside was cool and refreshing as he walked over to the station. For the first time in a while, though, he was forced to wear a jumper over his shirt so that he could at least avoid the chill of the morning starting to penetrate through his thin clothes. His arms instinctively tucked up around his body as he continued to walk over to the train station, and then he promptly made his way onto the platform. Around ten minutes later, and he was on the train to the conference hall. It still seemed to be pretty alien to him, especially since he didn't really know how to approach a semi-formal event like that, and so he was left feeling on edge all the way over to his destination. What bothered him a little bit, however, was the fact that Mingyu didn't really talk to him at all whilst he was travelling and then not at all when he was on his way into the hall. Sure, he had said that he would give him space, but he genuinely wanted the company this time. It just made things feel that little bit more lonely for Wonwoo, even though he knew that he would ultimately enjoy it and Mingyu was only creating that bit of distance so that he could enjoy his day as a regular person.

In fact, it stayed pretty lonely until eventually a boy of around Wonwoo's age - perhaps even a bit younger - made his way over to chat with him. His cheeks were soft and plump, suggesting to Wonwoo right away that he was from a relatively rich family. No one could really afford to eat that much in the financial crisis unless they were from a rich family. It just seemed to weird to him; so bizarre that the boy actually speaking to him as well. In fact, he was pretty sure that people would be able to tell that he wasn't all that well-off, and he anticipated that the richer people at the event would be avoiding him completely. That was what richer people did when they passed through their village on tours. Those who were particularly poor in the village were looked down on by those individuals, and it was the worst feeling in the world.

"I see you have priority too," the boy pointed out with a smile. "I'm just glad to find someone else who has one of the wristbands." He lifted up his right arm to show it off, reminding Wonwoo of the fact that he had one too.  
"Why would that be?" he asked, trying his hardest to sound curious and not demanding. Seemingly, the boy didn't see it as a demanding question, as he just gave a laugh instead of getting defensive.  
"It means that we both have someone to work with in the private seminar section. You know the one where only the priority members get to attend and it's gonna be specific to teaching in the top schools and universities in the country? It sounds really intimidating so I'd prefer to have someone to sit with."

If Wonwoo said that he was relieved by the answer, it would be a bit of an understatement. The boy didn't seem to care whether or not he was in the rich person's club or anything but rather, he was more interested in the fact that neither of them would be lonely. Wonwoo couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief and start to talk with the boy a little bit more. Although he was generally pretty awkward when it came to making friends - a lasting effect of the isolation that he experienced as a child - the boy was a lot more outgoing and happy to have a chat with him. It was wonderful.

Or so he thought.

He ended up bonding massively with the guy - Soonyoung - over the day, until eventually he was offered the guy's phone number right at the end. "Oh, I don't have a phone," he told Soonyoung, "I can't afford one. No one in my village has one, actually." The boy's eyebrows furrowed and he stared at him in silence with a frown starting to emerge for just a moment. After that moment passed, though, he perked up very suddenly and turned back towards his notebook, where he scrawled another note to Wonwoo.  
"What about this? You come to this party this weekend and then I'll get you one of the old phones that are lying around my parents' house? They only usually use them until the next model comes out so sometimes they might only use a phone for six months or so. Would you be okay with having a used phone? And don't worry about paying for transport, by the way. It's probably only around half an hour away from your village, so it's not going to cost you that much at all, if you're willing to walk it or take a bus or something."

Wonwoo could hardly argue with that. He thanked Soonyoung and set off on his way home, keeping a hand over the top of his trouser pocket so that he could be sure that the slip of paper wouldn't fall out as he walked. He guessed that he would need to research where the place was first, which was a little bit of a bother, but he was sure that it would be fun enough to go to the party. After all, even though he was more of the sort of person who would prefer to sit at home with a book, this was the first time that someone had truly seemed to want to be his friend, so it was important that he attended the party. He needed to feel as if he was included in something like that, just so that he would be able to feel like his peers for five minutes before he joined Mingyu. It was something that left his heart fluttering frantically in his chest, and his mind spinning the entire time.

Until he got onto the train. That was he noticed that Mingyu was still being incredibly quiet again, although this time it felt more uncomfortable than anything. Wonwoo had a sense of it. He anticipated that he had done something wrong to annoy Mingyu, and so he suddenly felt an awful feeling in the pit of his stomach, but he didn't know exactly what that could be. Mingyu wasn't the sort of guy who wanted him to have no friends so it couldn't really be that, but he couldn't really pinpoint what it _would_ be. In the end, he simply had to ask about it.

"Mingyu, are you mad at me or something?" No reply. Wonwoo could feel a sense of impending doom washing over him instantly. "Mingyu, do you mind telling me what I did wrong?" Nothing again. So he waited. Waited in anxious silence until around five minutes before the end of his journey when the god finally spoke up. His voice sounded pained, and that alone made Wonwoo's heart sink down further into his chest.  
"Could you not tell that he was flirting and you were flirting back right there?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who is back!!
> 
> After six weeks of working all day every day (as in, usually 6:30am - 1:30am because my unfortunate ass was the designated on-call first aider pretty much every night), I'm finally back with more stuff!!
> 
> Hopefully I'll be able to blast through my current fics as quickly as possible, although I'm searching for other jobs at the moment too, so the chapters may not come as quickly as they once did. Thank you for sticking with me so far; I really appreciate it <3


	9. Chapter 9

Mingyu's immediate response was to act childishly grumpy and stop talking to Wonwoo for the rest of the journey home. Whenever he was asked a question, he would simply ignore it, but it was clear to Wonwoo that he was still there. It was as if he was expecting him to come up with some outstanding way to apologise to him whilst he was in public, but Wonwoo didn't really know how he felt about that sort of thing. After all, it felt a bit like he was airing out dirty laundry if he was going to do that in such a public place. Other people didn't need to know about their relationship, nor did they need to hear one side of their arguments. And seeing as it was such a private matter, it just seemed better to keep that sort of thing to himself for the moment. There was plenty of time to discuss it when he got back to their village, especially if he went straight to the temple to discuss it with Mingyu instead fo going home first. He supposed that that would be appreciated a lot more too, since it was a sign that he was ready to take adult steps in their relationship, rather than being childish about it all.

That was what his parents taught him, anyway. They had insisted that he not do that sort of thing in public. There was plenty of time to discuss problems in relationships once they were home, and it was just courteous to avoid doing that sort of thing where other people could see or hear it. Those sorts of things made for unhappy relationships in the long-run, and it also ensured that friends and family felt particularly uncomfortable around the couples who did that too. It was just unnecessary, and Wonwoo had to agree. So he kept his mouth shut, his hands in his lap, and his eyes forward. He avoided doing anything that could be seen as recreational, just so that the god didn't think that he was taking the situation lightly, and he made sure to avoid looking at too many people on the way back into the village. It wasn't as if he was going to be scolded for that too, but he didn't want to slip up and make it seem as if he was cheerful about what had gone down.

The fact of the matter was that he couldn't decide what did and didn't upset the god. It wasn't his place to make that decision. It was much like how people were when they upset someone of a different group to their own. A lot of the rich people who came into their village, for example, pointed out that the village was basically like being taken back to the 1600s, and that they just needed to catch a historical disease and die so that they could reduce the country's surplus population. When called out for it, they would point out that it wasn't something that the residents were supposed to hear and besides, it wasn't said with malicious intent. They were simply trying to mark the place as a historic place. They weren't allowed to decide whether or not their comments hurt, though, and that was something that every villager was firm about whenever that sort of situation arose. Likewise, he wasn't allowed to decide what hurt Mingyu in this case. Sure, it was a different situation to his example, but it was valid nonetheless. He didn't know how Mingyu felt in certain situations or what his personal circumstances were in that sense, so it wasn't okay for him to dismiss it.

Those were also some of the biggest contributing factors towards his determination to sort the issue out, actually. He wanted nothing more than to show Mingyu that he cared and that he wasn't going to make light of the god's feelings, so he made a beeline straight for the temple as soon as he arrived back in the village and sat straight down on one of the benches, ready to start with the discussion about it. The temple itself stayed dark, even after he entered, and Mingyu's corner stayed unmoving, showing that he wasn't even considering coming down to chat with him.

"Mingyu," he called out after a moment. Naturally, there was no answer at all. "Mingyu, I would like to talk to you. Please answer me. I would like to apologise for what I did, and I would also like to know how to avoid letting it happen again." Of course, he didn't expect a reply this time either, so it wasn't a huge deal when Mingyu continued with his tantrum as if nothing had been proposed. Nevertheless, Wonwoo waited for a couple of seconds again before speaking again. This time, though, he made it his mission to emphasise just how sincere he was being about the whole situation. He needed the god to know just how much he cared about not upsetting him. "Mingyu, I'm incredibly sorry for flirting with Soonyoung at the seminar. I wasn't aware that I was doing it - which is a reason, not an excuse, may I add - so I would like to learn from you exactly what counted as flirting so that I can avoid doing this in the future."

At that point, he replied finally. If Wonwoo said that he wasn't relieved, it would be a lie. Even though they weren't officially dating and he wasn't all that sure about his feelings towards Mingyu, he knew that it was still a big deal to him if Mingyu was hurt. That was something that he wouldn't deny at all. They were relatively close already, actually, and he did still have a bit of a soft spot for the god. Then there was the fact that Mingyu had paid for the seminar for him _plus_ his train tickets on the way there and back. It was more than he should have done for Wonwoo, especially since he had been so awkward with the god at times. "It was just your attitude towards him," Mingyu grumbled, making sure to keep his voice low. "You looked like you were really attracted to him and you laughed at all of his jokes and you kept leaning towards him and stuff. And it's more than people do when they're just friends with someone. I... I can't explain it but you really looked like you were into him."

Although it was pretty hard to hear that sort of thing from Mingyu - especially since he couldn't put into words what exactly was upsetting him about the exchange and it was clear that that was distressing for him - Wonwoo gave a nod of understanding. It was all he _could_ do, in all honesty. What else could he say? Any attempts at arguing would just be doing so for the sake of it, rather than arguing a solid point. So he took a deep breath and turned to face Mingyu's corner directly as he spoke up.  
"I understand. I'd like to apologise in person, though, if you'd let me. I think it's really indirect to do that sort of thing when you're not even here by my side and I want to make sure you know that I mean what I say." And that was that. He wasn't planning on going any further with it until the god was by his side. Even if he was reluctant to make his way over to where Wonwoo was sitting, he would have to face him eventually, so now was as good a time as any.

So Mingyu eventually came out. He seemed to be cautious as he slowly made his way out from his corner; his body was positioned in a way that allowed him to turn back if he needed to do so, and he didn't seem afraid to walk back away from Wonwoo if he felt uncomfortable. But obviously, Wonwoo wasn't going to let that happen. He wasn't prepared to put the god in that sort of situation when it was far from the right time to be confrontational, and so he simply gave the bench a little pat before positioning himself to face where Mingyu would sit. Mingyu moved forward. He slowly shuffled towards Wonwoo, gradually changing from a shadow into his human form, and then took his seat. To start with, they just stared at each other, but then Wonwoo slowly moved a hand towards Mingyu's and tested the waters by touching the back of it with his fingertips. When the god didn't flinch away from his touch, he gradually increased the contact until they were holding each other's hands as comfortably as they could be, given the circumstances.

"Now, Mingyu, I hate to remind you that I'm not actually your boyfriend just yet," Wonwoo started, making sure to prepare himself to rush through that part as quickly as possible so that it didn't upset him even further. He supposed that it could easily have that sort of effect, especially since Mingyu was obviously very protective over him, and so it was the last thing he wanted to do to him. "But the fact of the matter is that I'm not at that stage with you yet. And this might come across as me telling you that your feelings are meaningless in this situation, since they don't have a relationship-bound foundation to give justification, but that's far from it. What I want to tell you is that even though I'm not at that stage with you just yet, I still think that what we have is incredibly meaningful. I think that I'm close enough to being your boyfriend, considering that we'll eventually be marrying and I gave you my first kiss, so I want you to know that I am not planning on dating anyone else right now. That's final. You don't need to worry about that because I won't intentionally betray your trust like that. I've been waiting for you for most of my life, and you've been waiting for me for many, many years too. I won't sabotage that by getting involved with another man.

"Saying that, though, I do feel that whatever I did to upset you wasn't okay. If I come across as flirting to you, I could have quite easily come across as flirting to him too. That means that he would think that there's something between us - something like what I'm supposed to have with you - and I think that it's a dangerous place to be with a guy who I'm not interested in as anything more than a friend. I would rather set it straight and tell him that I'm not interested in him in that sort of way so that we're both very clear on that matter, but obviously that would be if you would allow me to do that. I can understand if you don't want me to go to that party, seeing as it could quite easily go downhill, but I think it's for the best that I make it clear that I'm seeing someone and I'm not about to betray your trust like that." Of course, Mingyu stayed completely silent. His eyes stayed on Wonwoo's face as he tried to piece together an answer, but nothing seemed to be coming out. Wonwoo stayed silent as well, though. He didn't want to interrupt Mingyu's time to speak, even though he hadn't given his apology quite like he wanted to before he stopped. But when Mingyu looked as distressed with his inability to think of a reply as Wonwoo expected he felt, Wonwoo naturally had to come up with something else to fill the space.

"There was an apology in there, but I didn't make that explicitly clear. So I'm going to try once more, and you can only focus on that bit if you want. There's no pressure to answer any part of what I'm saying, but I want you to know that your feelings are very important to me. Very, very important. So here it is, as plain as I can make it." He stopped to look into Mingyu's eyes directly, his free hand moving up to touch the god's cheek so that his eyes were encouraged to stay where they were, rather than wandering around the room. Wonwoo noted that his skin felt particularly soft under his touch, as if he was stroking a feather pillow, but he would think about that more at another time. For now, he needed to get back to his apology. "Mingyu, I'm sorry for flirting with Soonyoung in front of you, and for not catching on to the fact that I was doing so until you pointed it out to me. I should really consider that if I'm giving another man more affection than I give to you - the person who I'm supposed to be building a relationship with - then I need to take a step back and take myself away from the situation before someone gets hurt by my actions. And the last thing I really need is for you to be the person who gets hurt by it, since you're always so patient and kind with me and you've waited this long without pulling anything like that."

So there it was. His apology. It sounded awkward and clunky and nothing like how his parents apologised to each other after they had arguments, but it seemed to do the trick pretty well. Mingyu didn't seem all that used to people apologising to him, especially when it came to the topic of flirting with other people, so he seemed to be pretty shy about responding, but there was a tiny smile playing on his lips when Wonwoo spoke so he knew that he had said the right things to make him feel a little bit better about it all. There was no need to sit there and try to convince him that he was all an accident and beg for forgiveness; Wonwoo was pleased to find that Mingyu was rather mature about that sort of thing, even though he was a bit more immature about other situations, and he didn't make it seem as if Wonwoo had to prove himself after such an easy mistake. Instead, his head just tucked against his chest for a little while, and then he quietly moved back to be able to look at Wonwoo's eyes again once the wave of shyness had passed. It only lasted for a minute or two at most, but it was that little human-like quality that made Wonwoo smile when they finally locked eyes again.

"Can you kiss me?" Mingyu asked softly as he gazed lovingly at him. His tongue darted out for a second to dampen his lips, and then his lower lip curled in towards his lip as he bit down on it gently. Wonwoo couldn't help but roll his eyes playfully in response, and then give a little smile as he shuffled closer to him. Although the idea of being the person to initiate a kiss with Mingyu was intimidating still, he couldn't help but feel enthusiastic about the prospect of making physical contact with him again.  
"You know I can't kiss you when you do that with your mouth, right?" he asked as he continued to move closer. Mingyu simply released his lip and then broke into a grin as his eyes closed and Wonwoo made contact with him.

Unlike the past two times that they had kissed, they kept it short and sweet this time, with Wonwoo only holding the contact for a few seconds. It was weird that it felt so natural for him, seeing as his head constantly reminded him of the fact that Mingyu was going to be the first and last person to kiss him whenever they got close enough to touch each other's lips, but he wasn't going to complain. At least it wasn't awkward for him to kiss his future husband, he supposed. When he pulled away, he could feel his heart trying to drag him back in to give Mingyu one more kiss, but he forced himself to make at least a foot of distance right off the bat so that he didn't give in to that sort of temptation. It was supposed to be an apology kiss, rather than a needy make-out session, so he wasn't going to go down that route. And since Mingyu seemed completely satisfied with that kiss, there was no point in pushing it further and leaving him expecting that every single time that they shared a kiss.

They took a minute to themselves so that they could bask in the warmth that radiated from the kiss before Mingyu's expression turned more serious again. Wonwoo had to admit that it worried him a bit to see the god like that, but he was relieved to see that Mingyu didn't seem angry at all. Instead, he seemed more determined than anything, as if he had had a huge plan that was really starting to work out how he imagined it to work. Wonwoo wasn't going to question it, since he was happy to see how much Mingyu's mood had shifted after they shared the kiss, but it was still something that left him feeling curious. "I think you should go to that party," he announced, his tone sounding very sure about the whole situation. It wasn't as if he felt pressured to let Wonwoo go to the event; he was smiling genuinely as he said it, and his voice didn't sound strained at all.  
"What?"  
"You should go to it. Think about it; it might be your only chance to go to something like this, so you should go. I wouldn't want you to miss out on that sort of thing because you'll be joining me in a little while."

It was probably the last thing that Wonwoo expected to hear from the god's mouth, but he was relieved to hear that Mingyu was actually supportive of the fact that he wanted to go to the party. Of course, Mingyu surely knew that he wasn't going to go there to simply tell Soonyoung that he wasn't interested in having a romantic or sexual relationship with him, so there was nothing to really worry about and Wonwoo could comfortably enjoy himself after he made that clear. Mingyu even offered to arrange his travel again, which Wonwoo appreciated greatly, and he also promised that he would be there for him if Wonwoo ever needed anything. He wasn't planning to sit there and watch his every move, especially since he trusted that Wonwoo wouldn't do anything stupid and it was hardly a sign of a healthy relationship if he watched absolutely everything that his love did, just because he had the power to do so, but he also didn't want Wonwoo to get into a situation where he was uncomfortable. And that was fine, as far as Wonwoo was concerned. He was happy that he wasn't essentially going to end up being babysat, but would also have that support system if he needed someone to be there for him.

So he pushed through the rest of the week and then found himself walking to the party once he had finished with his daily responsibilities. Whilst Mingyu had suggested that he pay for Wonwoo to get a taxi to the venue, Wonwoo figured that it would take longer for the taxi to get to him than it would for him to walk there, so he was planning to only get one on the way back. At least then, he wouldn't have to worry about stumbling home in the middle of the night if he did end up drinking alcohol. Those sorts of parties were known for that sort of thing and he wasn't really that sure as to whether they would have soft drinks available, so he was more than happy to let Mingyu arrange the transport home when he was ready to leave. They continued to chat for a little while as Wonwoo made his way over to the venue, but then Mingyu wished him a great night before departing once he arrived at the front door.

Wonwoo could feel his heart beating hard in his chest as he rang the doorbell to the house. He was immediately concerned that it wouldn't have been heard, since there was definitely music playing inside and he didn't know whether the hosts would be near enough to catch his call when they probably weren't stood guarding the front door all night, but before he could turn and leave whilst he was ahead, the door swung open to reveal Soonyoung. Naturally, both boys broke into smiles when they saw each other, and Soonyoung was quick to invite him inside, hug him, and then take him through to the kitchen to get something to drink. 

Suddenly, everything just felt strangely normal to Wonwoo. Even though he was an outsider when it came to his personal circumstances, he was just another person when it came to the party. No one really knew that sort of thing about him and they probably all assumed that he was from the local area. A few of the other guys gave nods or smiles of acknowledgement as he walked past, and another boy was quick to serve him a drink as soon as they entered the kitchen. "Could I ask what's in this?" he asked without stopping to think that it might come across as rude, but the boy gave a slight smirk as he nudged it an inch closer to Wonwoo's hand.  
"It's peach juice mixed with soju. Three percent stuff, nothing too strong. Don't worry about it; it's not poison or anything." Although Wonwoo wasn't all too sure about drinking soju, he accepted the drink and took a quick sip. It wasn't the worst thing that he had tasted in his life, but it left the back of his tongue burning slightly, and an unusual aftertaste in his mouth. He didn't really know how to explain it, but it didn't really have the flavour that he expected distilled rice alcohol to taste at all.

Once he had given it a few more sips, Wonwoo turned his gaze back to Soonyoung. He offered up a smile as he tried to find the words to tell him straight-out that he wasn't interested in him in any way other than platonic - seeing as it was probably best for him to get that sort of thing out in the open right away - but his train of thought was quickly cut off when he noticed the change in Soonyoung's position across the table. He and the boy who had served Wonwoo the alcohol were stood a lot closer than they had been before, and Soonyoung's arm was around the boy's waist. Of course, there was always the chance that they could just be friends, but the way that they were standing together certainly gave Wonwoo other ideas. And obviously, Soonyoung caught on right away, as his mouth immediately shifted into a huge grin.

"I think you've guessed it already, but this is my boyfriend. I wasn't too sure on whether to bring up the fact that I like guys when we were at the seminar, since you mentioned being from a small village and typically speaking, a lot of people from those sorts of places aren't huge fans of same-sex couples, but I figured that it would come out eventually and there's no better place to reveal it than a party like this." Wonwoo's eyebrows shot up right away. He had to admit, he hadn't really expected it at all. He had had a feeling that perhaps Soonyoung had some interest in boys, although nothing solid, but he wouldn't have expected that he would be so open about it like that when it was Wonwoo's first time meeting his boyfriend. He had expected that they would have at least waited for a little while longer before revealing it, but he was certainly glad that they didn't drag it out until he had announced that he wasn't interested in a relationship with his new friend.

"Well, it's pretty funny because I have a sort of boyfriend too," he said casually, ignoring the fact that his heart started racing as soon as the words came out of his mouth. Strictly speaking, it wasn't quite true, but it was close enough that it didn't really matter. Besides, Soonyoung's face lit up as soon as he heard it, so it was fine. "I was going to bring it up with you today because he, uh... well, he heard from someone at the seminar that we were flirting and he was concerned that you had the wrong idea about our friendship, but obviously that's not an issue at all. It was just a friend being paranoid when we're both happy with who we're with." The comment was an attempt at being casual, more than anything else, but it had just come across as being awkward and uncomfortable. Wonwoo felt like a complete idiot. But frankly, Soonyoung seemed to be pretty interested once he had brought up the idea of having a boyfriend, so he wasn't going to back-track.

"You have a boyfriend?" Soonyoung echoed, the excitement quickly becoming clear from his expression. He was happy to have found someone else who was attracted to men in a world where it wasn't all that acceptable. Sure, people's views on that sort of thing were improving to the point where people in same-sex relationships weren't being convicted or given a death penalty because of who they were in love with, but it was still seen as a highly taboo thing. And to have someone from a small village who was in the same position as himself was a big thing, it seemed. "Wonwoo, you have to tell me more about him. As much as you can, please. Jihoon here is the only other gay guy I've met in my life!" Wonwoo couldn't help but smile in response to what he was hearing. He hadn't really anticipated that anyone would be that excited by his relationship when they weren't aware of the exact circumstances, but he was relieved to see that for a moment, he could have a normal relationship. He could make it seem better than it was and really hype things up if he wanted to do so, so he was going to make the entire thing seem as magical as possible.

So he started to describe Mingyu in detail as he sipped his drink, and Jihoon did what he could to keep up with both the top-ups and the conversation. It started with the descriptions of Mingyu's physical appearance - or at least, the version that Wonwoo had seen in the darkness of the temple a few times - and then eventually moved on to other things. His personality was warm and caring, but also childish and sometimes demanding. His smile was probably the most beautiful smile that Wonwoo had ever seen; awkward and lopsided, with more teeth showing than necessary, but still absolutely stunning. He made up a story about how they met in the library, and when asked, he told them that he was in love with Mingyu. It was strange, though; he had never considered saying those words out loud, but it came so naturally to him after a few drinks. He hadn't really thought about that sort of thing up until that point, especially since they weren't in an official relationship, but saying the words out loud made Wonwoo's heart flutter in a way that he needed to relive again soon. 

Then they got onto the topic of physical relationships. Wonwoo couldn't help himself there. He knew that it sounded weird if he told them that he was a virgin and wasn't planning on sleeping with Mingyu for at least a few years. He knew that from the moment that Soonyoung tried to break the ice by telling him about how his much shorter boyfriend was the one who topped in their relationship, and that he was incredibly rough with him so that he was always left having to bite back noises. His parents were convinced that they were best friends, so they had to be sneaky about what they were doing, and so being too loud in bed would be a huge mistake for them. Saying that, though, Soonyoung's sister knew what was happening between them after she accidentally walked in on them together, although they made her promise right away that she wasn't going to tell their parents about it.

They were so open about it that Wonwoo couldn't bring himself to tell the truth about it. So he ended up coming up with a story about their first time being in the temple, even though they knew that it was wrong to do it in a place of worship, and how he had to hide the love bites from his parents for days, since his skin was bruised so badly. He told them how Mingyu was so gentle with him; that he always made sure that he wasn't hurting from what they were doing, and that he would never push things too far. He was an amazing lover, he said, and that was one of the biggest reasons for staying with him. It was a little joke that made the other boys laugh, and Wonwoo was left feeling a lot better about himself. He could feel himself getting more confident the more he spoke about the relationship and shared his experiences of liking other guys with his two new friends, and it made the whole idea of going to the party in the first place seem as if it was the best idea in the world.

In fact, it was great until he tried to leave the kitchen to go to the bathroom. Until he tried to move, he felt completely fine. Sure, he had drunk quite a bit of soju for it being his first time, but he wasn't all that affected by it. Besides, it was watered down heavily with various fruit juices. It meant that he wasn't really having that much at all, so there was no real reason for him to lose his balance when he tried to walk away. His trip was quite spectacular, to the point where he had to be hauled up and carried to the bathroom by two strangers, but even standing still felt off to him when he was up there. He could feel his body swaying slightly as he tried to force himself to pee - something that really wasn't happening, even though his bladder was aching with a need for release - and he could feel that any attempt to keep himself balanced would end with him on the floor again. It ultimately took around ten minutes in the end, as a result of that, and the bathroom had accumulated a queue down the stairs by the time he stumbled out of the place. It was awkward, having to go out there and see that so many people had been waiting on him, but even more awkward when he realised that he couldn't make it down the stairs and ended up sliding down on his ass instead.

That was when he saw him and Wonwoo's heart skipped a beat. A tall man, making his way through the house towards him. He tried his hardest to stand without wobbling too much, since he knew exactly how it was going to go if he didn't manage to seem at least slightly sober, but it was an incredibly difficult task in practice. Thankfully, Mingyu didn't seem all that upset when he made a beeline straight over to where Wonwoo was standing, which was a huge relief. His arms were around Wonwoo right away, supporting his body weight completely. "Where are your friends? I need to tell them that I'm taking you home so that they don't worry about you." Wonwoo tried to speak but the words came out as an unintelligible noise, so he simply resorted to pointing instead. Mingyu didn't hesitate at all; he scooped Wonwoo up into his arms with no effort at all and took him through to the kitchen.

"Kim Mingyu, Wonwoo's boyfriend," he announced as he gave a slight bow to the boys. They both welcomed him, but checked right away that he was definitely the right person to be taking Wonwoo home, so Wonwoo merely gave a mumble about how it was definitely the right person before cuddling back up against Mingyu's chest. That seemed to be good enough for them, and so they started to head on their way back out of the building with neither boy really saying anything.

And then they were at the temple. The second floor of the temple, for that matter. Wonwoo didn't really remember how they got there - whether they walked or Mingyu teleported them or something - but he didn't really care. He was placed in bed and tucked up, and that was all he remembered for the night. He was out cold until the following afternoon, when he woke to see Mingyu with his head on his lap, slumped over the bed as if he had spent the night sleeping there with him. Wonwoo's heart immediately skipped a beat when he remembered everything that happened, and he must have jolted as well since Mingyu woke up right away. He didn't seem tired at all, surprisingly, nor did he seem angry with him. Wonwoo didn't really know what to make of it, but he supposed that it was good to know that he hadn't severely messed things up by being so irresponsible with his drinks. He knew that he should have been taking note of how many he had drunk, but he Mingyu didn't really seem as if he was judging him for making such a huge mistake so he guessed that it was something that could probably be pushed under the rug.

"Hey, sleepy head," Mingyu announce cheerfully as he reached over to stroke Wonwoo's hair. The first thing he noticed when they made contact was that he had an incredible headache, although it was probably more from the alcohol that he had consumed, rather than being a direct result of being touched by the god. Wonwoo forced a smile, although Mingyu seemingly noticed right away that he was experiencing some pain. "I've put some painkillers and water next to the bed for you. You know, this is the first time that I've had to turn into a person and carry my drunk future husband out of someone's house before, but I'm actually pretty happy that I've had this experience."

Even though it was clear that Wonwoo had a headache, Mingyu continued to chat with him about everything. He went into the details about how he had a weird sense that something was wrong and so had to make his way over to rescue Wonwoo before he was left unable to make his way home, but Wonwoo didn't really take any of it in. He was too preoccupied with everything else, if he was being completely honest. Firstly, the fact that he was severely hungover and needed to recover as quickly as possible so that his parents didn't find out that he was drinking alcohol at the party, and secondly, the fact that he had slept in Fei's bedroom and it had felt strangely like home to him. Of course, it was probably just the fact that he was exhausted and so it didn't really matter to him that much whether he slept in his own, Fei's, or some random stranger's bed, but it was as if nostalgia was smacking him in the fact as he looked around the room. He was looking at it with familiar eyes - not just ones that had seen the place before when he was exploring it that one time - and he could feel some sort of connection with Fei whilst he was there.

And frankly, he didn't know whether he enjoyed feeling close to a girl who had died so long ago, or whether the feeling he felt was discomfort.


	10. Chapter 10

Wonwoo must have fallen asleep again, he figured. That was the only reasonable explanation for him being in that damn forest again.

When he woke, in absence of a better phrase, he couldn't help but sigh. It was the last place he wanted to be, especially when he had such a painful headache, but it was his reality and he had to deal with it now that he was there. So he got up and tested a few steps on wobbly legs, and then started running when he realised that it was just his head that was showing signs of his alcohol poisoning. That was a relief, at least, since it made escaping the growls and howls that little bit easier for him. As long as he could push the pounding in his head to one side, he would be fine.

 _Throb._ He continued running through the forest until he spotted a path that was clear of leaves. At that point, he made a beeline for the clear grass and followed it until he was winding through trees in near enough silence. He only had to worry about the sound of his feet on the grass at that point, but even that wasn't too bad because he wasn't actually wearing shoes at all. _Throb._ For the first time, Wonwoo realised what he was wearing during his nighttime run. He was wearing a men's nightshirt, which was way too big for him. It was probably made to fit a forty-inch chest or something. He didn't know exactly, but it definitely wasn't his. On top of that, he was wearing his boxers, but nothing else. He could feel that the grass was a bit damp underneath his feet, but it was likely from morning dew. He couldn't feel any mud squelching underfoot, and he could see a trickle of light over the horizon this time. Perhaps he had been gone for longer than he thought.

So he started to run towards the light. _Throb._ The pain in his head was almost unbearable, but he continued running nonetheless. He could no longer hear the snarls that had once been following him. For the moment, he forgot about that sort of thing. It wasn't important if he couldn't hear them; surely if they were still chasing him, Wonwoo would be able to hear them behind him. So he continued moving, making sure to change his path to suit the leafless grass underneath him. If it moved in one direction, he would follow it. If it stopped, he would pause for a moment so that he could find the next bit of clear grass, just so that he wasn't crunching for too long. _Throb._ Just a little while longer, and he would be there. The light suggested safety, as far as Wonwoo was concerned. Safety from whatever was chasing him. He knew that Mingyu was lying when he said that they were wolves, but he had no better phrase to describe them. There was no concept of that sort of creature in his village, so he couldn't put a suitable enough label on it. Whatever it was, though, he knew it wasn't good.

Almost there. As the trees started to grow further apart, he noticed that there was a village on the horizon. A little village with traditional stone buildings and huge roofs, and a village square right in the centre. All of the houses were dotted around the square. Of course, no one was out just yet, but he could tell that it was being occupied by people. It was just too perfect for it to be abandoned. Yet, he had never seen it before in his life. Not in his dreams and certainly not in real life either. It wasn't his village and it couldn't have been one of the ones nearby. He didn't know anywhere that was surrounded by a huge forest, and he definitely didn't know of any other villages that looked so picturesque. Nevertheless, he figured that he would continue to run towards it and get some help before the creatures caught up to him. Perhaps he could outsmart this nightmare by getting them to kill the creatures. Perhaps they were used to people going to them for help whenever they were attacked by those things.

Everything was absolutely perfect until he left the safety of the trees. He had thought that he was smart by keeping quiet and constantly moving. They couldn't possibly outrun him if they didn't know where he was going. How would they know where to find him? It was illogical to plan for the odd chance that they managed to catch him up. But they did. Before he could make it to the edge of the hill - a move that would grant him safety, since he could roll down the hill and away from the creatures if he was under attack - something knocked the wind out of him from behind. A blunt force that almost caused him to black out. Of course, he turned to face his assailant right away, only to see the hound that always came for him.

It looked like a dog, but with all of its fur and skin charred. It wasn't to the point where he could see bones, but there was definitely visible damage. The fur of the creature was matted and thick but clung to its flesh as if it had been hosed down, except for the fur on its back which stood up tall. Its snout was crumpled upwards and it had huge fangs that could easily break the legs of lifestock in one snap. Another notable difference between this creature and a dog was the fact that it had gaping holes where its eyes should have been. These holes went all the way through into the creature's skull, but Wonwoo couldn't see a brain inside the creature's head. That terrified him, although he didn't have time to even let out a scream as the creature launched itself towards him and clamped its teeth around his throat.

Wonwoo blacked out instantly, and then he was in that pool of water again. Floating. His headache was gone but he felt, for just a moment, that his consciousness had been lost too. The incident had sucked all of the air out of his body and left him feeling completely lifeless, and he frankly would have stayed where he was forever if it wasn't for the voice. That same voice as usual; the one that got him to do anything. That voice was home to him, even though he couldn't place its familiarity still. He moved towards it in record speed, and then the person behind the voice kissed him with force. It was as if they were lovers who had been separated for years, only to be reunited after a traumatic experience for both of them. Instead of dwelling on it, they had chosen to push past it with passion. At least that way, they would have some relief from the incident and it would become a distant memory for a while.

Wonwoo was just as happy to kiss back this time, if he was being honest. He allowed the person to pull him closer until they were chest to chest; he could feel their heartbeats synchronise immediately, as if they were one person, and it just felt so right that he didn't even mind when the person urged their tongue into his mouth. He accepted it gracefully, despite the fact that he didn't really know what to do with it. And then they were on a bed. His eyes had been closed so he didn't really know how it happened, but he had fallen back onto something soft and fluffy and the person had crawled over his body. He was wearing the same clothes that he had been wearing in the forest, he noted when the person's hands moved to his boxers and pulled them right off his body. Then, before he had the chance to figure out what was happening, they were making love. Again, he didn't know how it happened at all. He couldn't open his eyes to see who they were or how they had made it to that point. He could just feel their body against his and movement that sent a strange sensation choking him at the base of his neck, as if someone was pushing something so deep into his body that it was going right through him.

For some reason, it wasn't unwelcome. His toes naturally curled against satin bedsheets and his fingers grasped at handfuls of the fabric. His back arched up off the bed covers, which left him with his chest pressed firmly against the other person. They let out a chuckle and moved to kiss his neck as they breathed something into his ear about how they loved how it felt to be with him and how it never got old, regardless of how many times they had known each other's bodies. Wonwoo let out a little gasp in response - in recognition of his upcoming climax - and then his body jolted awake with a force that left his boxers soiled at the front.

The first thing he noticed was that Mingyu was still there, having not moved from that same position beside his bed. He gazed at Wonwoo with the most loved-up expression that he had ever seen in his life, although he simply chose not to comment on it. After all, there were other issues to think about - the first being that even though he had woken up to see Mingyu's face the first time, he hadn't really registered how he looked until he had woken up a second time. Wonwoo knew enough about psychology to expect that Mingyu would seem incredibly attractive at night but not so much in daylight. Darkness gave the illusion of mystery and when there were shadows cast over the god's face, there was no wonder that he looked so beautiful in the dark. The temple was always dark too, which meant that even during the day, he didn't get to see his future husband's face properly. But now he was getting to see every single feature and he still looked perfect.

Every single part of his face fitted together perfectly. Absolutely perfectly. Wonwoo's breath was snatched from his body once more as he stared at the man in front of him, and then he couldn't help but reach out to touch his face. Slowly and gently, his fingertips grazed Mingyu's face and touched over each of his features in turn. He brushed over his eyebrows, traced the curve underneath his eyes, then groped for his nose. Then to his cheekbones, ear, jawline, chin, and finally his lips. His fingertips hesitated over Mingyu's lips for too long, his eyes joining them right away. They were the most beautiful shade of pink - somewhere between watermelon and rouge - and the shape was just too good for him to ignore. He wanted nothing more than to press his lips against Mingyu's and feel the fluttering of eyelashes against his cheeks, knowing full well that he would open his eyes to see the god right there again.

But he didn't. He didn't have strong feelings for Mingyu just yet so it was out of place for him to seem as if he was falling for the god already. That was what he told himself, anyway. He was well within his right to kiss Mingyu on the lips and tell him that he wanted him, but he didn't want the commitment of following it up with something cute and romantic, so he simply moved his fingers away and composed himself before asking what Mingyu had done whilst he was asleep. In an instant, the tone switched from Mingyu obviously fighting the urge to kiss him too, to him looking just like a puppy who had seen his owner for the first time in hours, and Wonwoo couldn't help but sigh a breath of relief in response to the fact that he had avoided the awkwardness of a kiss with someone who he found incredibly attractive but didn't want to want.

"Oh, I was just making sure that you were okay. I didn't leave your side in case you were sick or something and you couldn't do anything to help yourself. But you seemed to turn out alright, so I think that's a good thing. I mean, I can always continue to look after you here until you're feeling completely better. I can get us food and help you to go for a shower and everything, if you'd like that." This was the childish side to the god coming out again. He was so unbelievably excited over the fact that he had taken care of Wonwoo and it was his first time doing that sort of thing when his partner was still living in the village that he could hardly contain himself and although it was a bit much for Wonwoo's head to handle all of the rambling, he had to confess that it was nice to have that bit of familiarity back after the dream.

If he was being completely honest, it had shaken him up. He didn't know what it was, but his entire body was on edge after that. He didn't know what to do with himself, not only because of the bit where the hound-like creature ripped his throat out but also because of the part where he had an affair. And sure, it didn't really happen or anything, but it felt uncomfortable to think about it. He had imagined his first time being taken by a familiar stranger, and he had loved every second of being held like that and touched in ways that weren't safe to mention in a temple. It was the sort of thing that he thought was incredibly inappropriate for a person to think about, and so he wanted nothing more than to take his mind off it using the genuine familiarity of his relationship with Mingyu.

Actually, speaking of his relationship with Mingyu, his train of thought was quickly cut off when Mingyu suddenly stopped talking and stared at him with an absolutely adorable expression on his face. It was shy and a bit goofy, as if he was thinking about something really embarrassing, but he refused to say what it was to start with until Wonwoo pushed for him to say what was on his mind. "You told your friends that I'm your boyfriend last night," he pointed out with a smile. His voice was so little that Wonwoo almost didn't recognise it. If he didn't know how happy Mingyu was at that point in time, he would have probably suspected that it was an act or something. "You told them all that you're in love with me and that we've slept together. And you told them about some of the things that we've done together. You know, that's usually pretty reflective of the sorts of things that people actually wanna do in bed when they have the chance. Do you want me to keep it in mind for when we finally do that sort of thing together?"

Wonwoo could feel his cheeks starting to burn right away. He didn't really know what to say in response to that. Of course, he was mainly just trying to impress his new friends and avoid looking like a complete loser by revealing to them that he was eighteen and still a huge virgin, but he supposed that it was somewhat reflective of the sorts of things that he expected to be into when they finally got around to sleeping together. Although saying that, he didn't really know _when_ he would be happy to do that sort of thing. Probably never, he decided; not after the dream he'd had. Just in case he let it slip at some point that Mingyu did or didn't lead his first time, based on the experience that he'd had in the dream. The last thing he really needed was to make Mingyu feel self-conscious or as if someone else was a better match for his future husband. That would just be plain rude and would be completely unnecessary to put him through.

So he just rolled his eyes, making sure to show to the god that he was being playful as he did it, then turned the topic back to something that he had heard earlier. "You said something about a shower earlier. How is that possible? No one has lived here for such a long time that there shouldn't be working water or electrics, and I don't think there should really be a shower in the first place, given the timeframe of it all." Surprisingly, Mingyu gave a laugh and shook his head, leaving Wonwoo feeling both confused and a bit indignant.  
"Well, the light is on in here, isn't it? Look, I know we'd usually have to use candles for light and then bring water to the boil for the bath or whatever, but I've kept this place perfect for years. I haven't fixed the stairs because I don't want people going through Fei's bedroom, just like you did a few years ago, but I've kept everything preserved as much as possible up here so that I can remember everything that happened when I first started taking partners. And I don't really need electricity or water, do I? I can manipulate that perfectly well on my own."

It felt strange. Wonwoo hadn't really considered things like that until Mingyu mentioned it. It just seemed bizarre to him. Even though Mingyu was powerful and had the ability to do a number of things, including transporting people out of the village, turning into a human in order to see him, and changing the weather based on his emotions, it was just really difficult for Wonwoo to wrap his head around the fact that the god could also power a house on his own. It was something little, he supposed, but it just seemed so weird that he couldn't believe it until he saw it. "I would like to have a shower now," he announced, and so Mingyu scooped him up out of the bed with no trouble at all before walking him through to the shower, where he switched on the water and waited for it to warm. He managed to hold Wonwoo up with one arm, and he surprisingly didn't slip an inch as he held on tightly. Once it was ready for him, he was undressed effortlessly and placed into the tub. "Do you want me to join you?" Mingyu asked quietly. "I'm worried that you're gonna get too wobbly and fall over or something. You _did_ have a lot to drink last night."

Obviously, it was a hint. He wanted Wonwoo to say for him to get into the shower. So he gave in. He gave a hum of acceptance and waited for the god to let himself in. It took just a moment, but Wonwoo was - quite ridiculously - surprised to see that Mingyu was completely naked when he got into the shower next to him. But it was hardly unwelcome; just different. Mingyu's skin was bronzed and beautiful with no signs of imperfection anywhere. His muscles bulged in the most beautiful way and everything was just so perfectly streamlined that he couldn't help but stare. He, on the contrary, was pale and toned but not muscular. Quite the contrast, he supposed. It made things a little bit awkward for him, since he knew that he didn't exactly have the most attractive body in the world, but at least when he had the chance to look at his body, Mingyu's eyes lit up right away. 

"You're really handsome. You know, I don't see you naked without your permission because I like to respect your privacy, but you look exactly how I thought you would. And I love that." Wonwoo didn't even feel shy about the kiss that followed - not after the dream he had - but it felt weird to be kissing someone when they were both wet from the showerhead. He had always heard from the girls in his classes that kisses in the rain were supposed to be the most romantic thing that someone could experience but as it turned out, the wetness made things slippery and it felt uncomfortably like he had dribbled all over his chin. Nevertheless, he allowed Mingyu to pull their bodies together and touch from the top to the base of his spine, and the god's teeth nipped at his lips very softly as he did so. For now, the kisses felt a lot more comfortable and less awkward. He didn't know how things had become so easy so quickly, but he wasn't prepared to complain about it.

That was when the realisation dawned upon him. He suddenly snapped his eyes open and Mingyu obviously sensed that, as he pulled away in record speed and stared at him in horror. "Did I do something wrong? Was it moving too fast for you? You know, I can slow things down for you if that's what you need. Just say the word and I'll take it back a few steps."  
"No no, it's not that, it's..." He paused for a moment to gather his thoughts, letting out a long sigh in the process and running a hand through his hair. It seemed so dumb to be talking about that sort of thing with the god, but he had to get it out as soon as he could. "I came here a few years ago and the place looked like a mess. There were cobwebs and the fabric was all chewed up. And the entire place was falling to pieces. When I walked into the temple, I was worried that the roof was going to cave in and trap me. That's why it was out of bounds."

Mingyu visibly seemed surprised by the comment. He didn't know what to say to explain himself. It was as if his mind was completely blank and he had lost all power to speak. It was as if he had been completely caught out by Wonwoo; as if he had been bagging on his future husband not knowing that everything was being refurbished on the side. And frankly, there was no real reason for him to be refurbishing it at all. Wonwoo had to stay with his parents full-time until he either moved to university or moved in with Mingyu. If he was thought to be living with someone else, the villagers would shun him for promiscuity. They would treat him like complete dirt because he wouldn't be able to reliably prove that he was living in the old temple, and they would naturally assume the worst. So it wasn't even as if it was going to benefit him at any point; it would only ever benefit Mingyu, who wouldn't be staying there either. He had no reason at all to stay there.

But then Mingyu let out a little sigh and looked up at Wonwoo, making sure that their eyes locked. "I miss her, okay. I don't want you to think anything bad, like I'm still stuck on her or that you're a replacement for her or anything - I like guys exclusively in this body, so you have no need to worry or anything - but you know when someone is your first love and they're still on your mind years later? Who was your first love?" Wonwoo quickly shook his head to say that he didn't want to say who it was, but Mingyu pushed a bit softer and he couldn't deny him again.  
"It was you. You were my first love." Thankfully, Mingyu didn't tease him for it. Instead, he gave a fond smile and nodded.  
"And you didn't give up on me, did you? You're here with me now and you're kissing me sometimes, and we're here in the shower together. It's a bit like that, except I know she's gone and sometimes I just get sad thinking about the sort of things we did when she was alive."

"What sort of things?" Mingyu's lips pursed and his gaze reverted to the base of the tub again as he considered whether or not it was a good idea for him to bring that sort of thing up. Seemingly not, though, because he quickly decided upon shaking his head and moving his hands to grab Wonwoo's hands.  
"I don't know whether I really want to talk about my relationship with her at the moment. I'm concerned that it'll make it seem as if I'm still obsessed with her. See, I've moved on. I've had hundreds of years to get over the fact that she's gone and that she died so soon after I took her with me, but that doesn't mean that I won't be tender sometimes. Which is why I started fixing things up when I saw that you had a connection with her. None of my other partners had ever felt a connection with Fei, but you had a weird moment in the temple, didn't you? You remembered all of their names, and then you decided to explore this house and you felt something, didn't you?"

Wonwoo couldn't lie and say that he didn't feel something. Mingyu already knew that there was some sort of connection there. He didn't need Wonwoo to pretend that there was nothing because that would likely frustrate him more than anything. He liked having that little bit of Fei alive inside of Wonwoo, and Wonwoo supposed that as long as he could separate them and knew that he and his wife were different people, it was okay. After all, he always knew that Wonwoo had other relationships. He had read about them for years; been told about them for as long as he could remember. It was a big thing in their community, and so he knew absolutely everything there was to know about everyone who had been taken. If he wasn't told in class, he found out from a book or his parents. It was that simple. He knew that Mingyu had loved many people before him, so he was prepared for the fact that he wasn't going to be the only person in the god's heart. "So I thought that if I fixed it up gradually, it would feel more welcoming to you. I thought that maybe if you had to sleep here - just as you had done last night - you wouldn't want a place that's dirty and in ruins."

Mingyu's voice was almost a whisper by that point, as if he was nervous to tell Wonwoo that in case he took it badly. Perhaps he thought that it wouldn't seem as if he was doing it for him, but rather for his own good. Wonwoo strangely didn't care, though. He didn't care whether Mingyu had fixed it up for him, or whether it was because it was his own home now and it allowed him to cling to the memories of the first person who showed genuine affection for him. He was entitled to that and didn't need to explain himself if that was the case. If anything, Wonwoo supposed that he was just curious about the fact that it all looked so modern with an antique twist. But he decided very quickly that it was time to drop it. After all, the last thing he really wanted to do was stress Mingyu out even more by pushing for information that he didn't really need to know.

So he changed the subject completely. "Could you kiss me, please?" he asked, trying his best to tap into the memories of their first few kisses. Mingyu obviously noticed that as his eyes snapped up towards Wonwoo's face, and then he kissed him again with a desperation that suggested he wanted to focus on them for the moment. The discussion about the house and Fei had passed again and he wanted to keep it like that now. There was no reason for either of them to bring it up again, even with Wonwoo's mind whirring over the fact that he hadn't noticed the gradual restoration over the years. For the time being, that didn't matter at all. The only thing that _did_ matter was the fact that Mingyu was kissing him and pulling him close to his chest, where he felt safe and protected. They continued to hold each other close for a good few minutes before Mingyu announced that he needed to help wash Wonwoo, and so they moved on to clean themselves before making their way back to the bedroom.

Once there, Mingyu began to search through the drawers for something for Wonwoo to wear, before eventually settling on lilac silk pyjamas. They were very clearly new ones - having not been worn by Fei or anyone else, for that matter - so Wonwoo put them on immediately and allowed the softness of the fabric to engulf him. It was the perfect thing to wear after a hot shower when his skin was sensitive to touch, and he had to admit that he liked it. He wasn't usually the sort of person to wear pyjamas, so it also made a nice change for him to be able to wear something like that. In fact, he even considered getting back into bed for a nap before remembering his dream from the last time he did that, and so he quickly decided on inviting Mingyu to cuddle up with him instead. Surprisingly, Mingyu was dressed in casual clothes - sweatpants and a jumper - which Wonwoo didn't expect to ever see on a god, but he was hardly going to complain about it.

For a while, they stayed there without talking. Wonwoo was tucked up tightly in Mingyu's arms, enjoying the warmth of having another person close to his body. He supposed that it might have been a direct response of the nightmare again, seeing as he wasn't really the sort of person who enjoyed being cuddled like that, but he didn't really want to put all of the blame on that sort of thing when there was a chance that it was just his preferenced changing. After all, it was still fresh in his mind now that he was given silent time to reflect on the experience, but it wasn't necessarily going to be the cause of everything he did that day. So he tried to push it to the back of his mind - right where it was when they were talking with each other - and allowed the sensation of Mingyu to swallow him right up. It was perfectly comfortable for them to both be so close together, and the result was that it was painfully difficult for Wonwoo to finally let go when Mingyu pointed out that his parents would be worried about him.

"You've been gone for almost a full day by this point," he told him, "You haven't contacted them at all and I'm not allowed to contact them on your behalf. I really think you need to go home now and tell them about your night and how much fun you had, and then that you came home with me because you were feeling unwell and it was late, and you didn't want to burden them by coming home late and getting sick. Don't tell them that you drunk alcohol, though, because they'll start an argument with you. I can see that much happening, and I don't want to be held responsible for not stopping you from drinking so much, okay?" Without allowing Wonwoo time to argue against the suggestion, Mingyu was quick to press one more kiss to his lips, then gently stroked his hair with a hand. "Besides, I really have to go now. The other gods just found out that I showed you myself in a human-like form already and they're not all too happy with me, so I have to go and have a quick chat with them. I'll speak to you later, okay?"

At that point, he hopped off the bed and made his way out of the bedroom door, where he immediately disappeared. Wonwoo was left sitting there in silence. At that moment, none of it felt real. It was as if he had been thrust into an alternate reality, in which he thought something had been happening to him but then woke up to find that it had all been a dream. It was as if Mingyu had never been there in front of him. Suddenly, the god's figure was a blur to him. He couldn't remember what his face looked like, or how his smile looked. All of his features were obscured when Wonwoo tried to picture him in his head, and even his smile seemed to be pixilated when he thought about him. It was frustrating to know that he couldn't remember how he looked, but he figured that it was some sort of security measure so that people wouldn't be able to draw him from memory. Or something like that. Okay, he wasn't completely sure, but he was usually good at remembering faces so he was certain that it was the gods' doing. He gave up pretty quickly and dragged himself out of the bed again, then located his shoes and tugged them up before scooping up his clothes and making his way in the direction of the door.

Then he stopped. Wonwoo's entire body tingled with an unusual desire to snatch up Fei's diary again and take it home so that he could read through her entries again, just as he had done the first time he was there. It was strange; he had been determined to drop the idea of her as soon as Mingyu seemed uncomfortable with bringing her up too much, but he now had a desire to get to know her better. Maybe it was going to make it easier for him to deal with it all. If he could see the parallels between himself and her, he guessed that he would feel less anxious about Mingyu's comparisons between them. It could even help him to make peace with it, he supposed, so there wasn't really much for him to lose. He made his way back over to the loose floorboard and wiggled it until it popped up again, then took the diary from where it was hidden. It was stuffed into the pile of clothes that he was taking home, which he scooped up again as he started to make his way back towards his house.

Interestingly, he found that _everything_ had been fixed on the way back out of the temple. The stairs were no longer broken at the bottom, and they had been replaced with some sort of stone so Wonwoo was no longer worried about going straight through them. There were no visible signs of water damage; all of the tables and chairs looked as if they were in perfect condition, and the tiles had been either cleaned up or replaced completely. Although it still had a very old-fashioned appearance, the room looked as if it had been maintained perfectly over the years. Wonwoo had to admit that it did feel a lot warmer and friendlier now that he was seeing it how it had been back when it was in use, and he wouldn't have even minded staying there for a bit longer to enjoy how homely the place seemed.

But for now, he needed to get back to his family, so he forced himself to walk out through the door and start on his way through the village again, ignoring the stares from the few people who were outside at that point. They knew exactly where he had been, so he wasn't prepared to give them the time of day and make them feel as if their looks were justified by seeming shy about the fact that he was leaving Mingyu's place in pyjamas that weren't even his.


	11. Chapter 11

Wonwoo hadn't really anticipated that his parents would actually be worried when he got home. He thought that perhaps they would have realised that he would be with Mingyu, since he had been gone for so long, but it wasn't quite the case.

First of all, they jumped up as soon as they heard the door opening and rushed in to see whether it was him or not. When he saw their faces, he saw a mix of anger, worry and relief mingling, and he couldn't help but give a bow of apology before they even had the chance to say a word to him. Then it all started. His father started shouting at him about how he had absolutely terrified his mother, his mother started shouting about how irresponsible he was to have disappeared for so long, and then he was left listening to a huge rant for around twenty minutes. The moment he thought it had stopped, it would start back up again, with the other parent taking over the shouting. Then the first would think of something else and would continue, and so on. It was uncomfortable and he hated the fact that he was having to stand there and listen to it all, but he supposed that it was his punishment for getting so drunk that he had to be carried home.

He waited until they seemed as if they were completely done, and only then did he raise his head to give his explanation. He looked them both in the eye first so that they would think that his explanation was genuine and honest, and then let his gaze drop to his hands again when he was sure that they were listening. "I think my drink was spiked last night when I was at the party," he lied, "I asked for peach juice but I was stood around chatting with my friends and perhaps someone put some alcohol in it without me noticing. But I went to the toilet and realised that I couldn't walk and I was dizzy, and so Mingyu came and fetched me out of there. He told me that he's not allowed to talk to you directly, even though I gave my permission for him to tell you that I was staying with him." It was hardly the biggest lie that he'd told in his life, but Wonwoo couldn't help but feel bad as he told it. It was the sort of lie that he shouldn't have been telling, frankly. He shouldn't have told his parents that he didn't intend on drinking and that he thought it had been spiked. He knew that he should have taken responsibility for his actions. He just couldn't bring himself to do it.

It was a tough situation, though. He didn't want them to think that he was being irresponsible, and he supposed that it also made Mingyu look good. He had fetched Wonwoo out of a bad situation both in the lie and in reality, so it just proved that he was going to be the perfect partner. He was the responsible one who would make sure that Wonwoo was taken care of, and he would make sure that nothing bad happened in the process. He was essentially the perfect son-in-law that every parent wanted, and Wonwoo supposed that at least the lie was painting him in that light as much as possible. Like a hero, in a way. On top of that, Wonwoo figured that it secured that thought in his own mind too. It reminded him of the fact that Mingyu would be the perfect person to raise a family with in the future, if they decided to go down that route at some point, and it made him a hell of a lot happier with the thought that they would be spending their life together too.

Of course, his parents were still angry about the whole situation and spent a few more minutes yelling at him about how he needed to be more responsible if he went to parties where he didn't know the majority of people, since there was always that chance that someone malicious would try to cause him harm like that, but the yelling calmed down a lot quicker that time. It was also followed by a hint of another emotion, but Wonwoo couldn't quite put his finger on what it was. Regret, perhaps? Maybe worry? Or scolding? He wasn't certain, but he could tell that anger wasn't the primary emotion anymore. It was something a little bit gentler, showing off that they felt bad for him after his poor night. In fact, his theory that it wasn't anger was quickly proven right when his mother burst into tears on the spot and rushed forward to hug him tightly. She didn't explain how she was feeling, but Wonwoo knew right away that she didn't know what to do with herself and he couldn't help but feel bad when he hugged her back.

It took a few minutes for her to calm down, even with Wonwoo and his father both trying to help her to stop crying. When she finally pulled away, though, she looked him dead in the eyes and said the one thing that really meant the world to him. "Tell Mingyu that we approve of him as your boyfriend and that we appreciate what he did for you. We don't know what we would've done if we'd lost you for good. And we don't even know how we would've found out about it if you _had_... well, you know. If something had happened to you." Although Mingyu still wasn't his boyfriend officially, Wonwoo couldn't help but feel a sudden twinge of pride in his chest when his mother announced that she approved of their relationship. It was a sign that perhaps it wasn't as bad of a thing for them that their son was due to marry their god than he had originally thought it to be.

It was something that he had thought about a lot, actually - the fact that it was probably a huge disappointment for their parents to find out that their youngest son was bound to the god. He supposed that it wouldn't affect other families quite as much, other than the fact that most of the god's husbands didn't really want to have anything to do with him, but it hit a farmer's family a lot harder. After all, his brother had gone to university and was studying hard to get a better job than one in agriculture or animal-rearing. He had personally wanted to go to university too, of course, but it was a lot different. He wouldn't have ever had the chance. Had he not been chosen by Mingyu, he would have been expected to take over jobs on the farm. Had his brother not wanted to work on the farm in the future, it would be up to Wonwoo to keep the family business going in his father's footsteps.

The result was that they didn't have anyone to take over the farm. Wonwoo wasn't going to be there and his brother wouldn't really have the time to tend to livestock and harvest vegetables. It was a poor person's job; not the sort of thing that a university graduate would be doing. And that would be disappointing for Wonwoo's family, since they would have to continue working after they were due to retire. Either that or they would have to sell the farm. It would make sense for them to hate the fact that Wonwoo was bound to the god - to try their hardest not to mention Wonwoo's fate, in hopes that he would choose to stay with them and work on the farm instead of going to join the god - but they were strangely good about it instead. They supported his decision to go ahead with the relationship, and that was why it made him feel so much better about the whole situation. It was selfless, and only really the sort of love that could be given by a parent to their child.

He almost started crying too. He couldn't help it. There was a pain starting to develop behind his eyes; a pressure that begged him to let all of the stress of that knowledge go. So he eventually did. He tucked his face as close to his mother's neck as possible and let it all out in silence, hoping more than anything that his father wouldn't see him acting so weak. He had no real reason to cry like that, after all. All he really needed to do was apologise and tell them that he didn't mean to cause so many problems for them, and then to take himself up to bed for the night. That would have been sufficient. But he was stood there in tears for a good ten or so minutes until he finally decided that it was time just to pack those thoughts and feelings right back into their box and keep going. His head snapped up, his eyes were wiped using the sides of his fists, and then he wished them a good night before seeing himself off to bed.

By the morning, though, everything was fine again. It was as if nothing had happened at all. The silence in the house when he woke up was no different to how it usually was, and he managed to get dressed in peace before heading out of his room. He half expected that there would be a looming tension when he went through to the kitchen for breakfast, but his parents greeted him with the usual cheery greeting, and that was that. No attempts at bringing it up, nothing passive-aggressive; his mother handed him his breakfast and invited him to join them at the table. She had already made him a drink and arranged his cutlery, as if nothing was wrong, so all he had to do was take his seat. They started discussing the usual things - a few of the calves needed to be weaned, some of the horses were looking like they needed to be broken in - and then eventually got to the topic of Wonwoo's education. A topic that hadn't really been brought up in a long time, and one that was a very uncommon topic of conversation even when it _did_ arise.

"What sort of things are you doing in your classes nowadays?" his mother asked as she lifted a spoon of rice towards her mouth. It hovered there for a moment, her hand staying surprisingly steady as she held it an inch from her lips. "I suppose you've probably moved on from the topics on our community by now, right? You did your service six or so months ago, didn't you?" At that point, she took the bite, signifying to her son that it was his turn to speak. Wonwoo didn't really know what to say, though. It had certainly been a long time since his community topic, but he didn't really have the time to tell her about everything else that he had learnt about since. It was a bit weird for him to think that none of their conversations over the past six months really had much to do about something that meant a lot to him, but he figured that he would brush it to the side this time. There were other issues to be discussed, so it could be forgiven.

"I think we're looking at applications for university, actually. My classmates are starting to think about whether they want to go or not. A few of them have actually visited the campuses and have decided where they want to go, and they're receiving partial scholarships to cover the costs. Obviously, it's not going to be all that good for me, seeing as I can't actually go to university, but I suppose it's nice to see everyone else getting excited over it." There was a hint of sorrow on his mother's face at that point - almost regret, Wonwoo guessed - but she tried her hardest to hide it by taking another bite. Perhaps the negative aura hadn't quite gone yet. "Of course," Wonwoo continued, "I've known all of my life that I wouldn't be able to go to university so it's not a big deal for me. It just feels like a waste of class time when we could be doing other things that benefit everyone."

It was a poor attempt to make her feel better about the fact that her youngest son couldn't afford to move away from home like that, even though he likely wanted to go to university even more than his brother did, but at least it took the edge off it. Wonwoo knew that she knew he was disappointed by the fact that his education was going to be capped at college-level training courses, but it was the elephant in the room more than anything. It would stay unaddressed, even though it was strikingly obvious to anyone who heard the conversation between them. Of course, there was still the possibility that Mingyu would pay for it all for him, Wonwoo noted, but he hadn't brought that up with his parents so far and he was still rather unsure as to whether he wanted to take the god up on that offer anyway. So it was going to stay secret and the elephant would just have to stay.

He finished his breakfast off as quickly as possible before grabbing his bag and heading to the school. The walk felt longer than usual, for some reason, but he supposed that it was for the best. After all, there was plenty of time before his classes were due to start and the last thing he really wanted was to be the first person to arrive. That gave him too much time to think about everything that was going on in his life, and he didn't really like that. He wanted to be able to pretend that there wasn't a growing distance between himself and his family already, even though he wasn't anywhere near the point where he would start toying with the idea of giving himself to Mingyu fully, and so taking that extra bit of time allowed him to be distracted by everything else. The sound of his shoes hitting the ground, for example, and the way that the wind was brushing his hair backwards. That would surely leave him looking like a mess by the time he got to school too, so he would have to spend five or ten minutes trying to make himself look presentable. Yes, that did just fine, in his opinion.

So he paced himself. He spent plenty of time getting into the school, fumbled around in his bag for his identification card for a few minutes when he got to the door, flashed it briefly to the receptionist - who knew him anyway, so it was hardly as if he needed his card in the first place - then made his way over to the toilet to get himself looking presentable again. He actually forced himself to use the toilet for its intended purpose whilst he was there, figuring that it would pass at least an extra minute or two, took extra time with washing and drying his hands, and then finally started to straighten himself out. First his uniform and then his hair, until he could no longer put off walking to the classroom anymore. He still made sure to take it nice and slow, though, and arrived with five minutes to spare before it officially started. Thankfully, though, there were a few other students already in the classroom so he spent some time talking with them before the class started.

It began with the usual boring things, and Wonwoo had to fight his hardest to avoid being left to his thoughts again. He tried to maintain focused and answer the questions that were asked of their class as much as possible, in hopes that it would keep his mind active, but it only served to make the thoughts more vivid in the back of his mind as they tried to fight for his attention. So he eventually gave in to the thoughts. He allowed them to swamp him as he took a passive stance in the lesson and allowed other people to take part instead. His mind began to swim with the thoughts of how it probably wouldn't be that different if he did move in with Mingyu early, since his parents didn't seem to know that much about him nowadays anyway, and how they didn't really have his help on the farm anymore so it would hardly have a huge toll on their business.

Those thoughts began to develop more and more as time moved on. Would his parents even notice if he was taken in the middle of the night? Well, obviously they would notice to an extent - as was evident when they noticed that he wasn't back from the party that weekend - but it probably wouldn't be immediate. Saying that, he would probably have to ask Mingyu to leave a note for them or something because otherwise, they would end up panicking how they had been when he didn't come home for almost a full day. As much as he felt that there was a growing distance between them all, the last thing he really needed was for them to be worried that he had run away when he had simply gone to live his life how it had always been mapped out for him. A lifetime of never knowing what had happened to their youngest son was something that he would never wish on anyone and besides, he still loved them even if they did all have their differences. There was no need for him to be intentionally malicious about anything, really. It was something that he noted down in his mind so that he could bring it all up with Mingyu later.

But then, before he could think about it all too much, his attention was quickly drawn back to the teacher. She said something about universities, although he didn't quite catch it to start with, and so he was forced to listen. Of course, he was still at that point where he was considering whether or not he was going to end up taking a degree so there was a chance that the information wasn't going to be relevant to him, but he figured that it was in his best interest to stay focused anyway. So he pushed the thoughts about his family to the back of his mind and watched as the teacher began to write notes on the board for them to all take down for their diaries. Important dates, Wonwoo found. To start with, it still didn't make all too much sense, but then it was all explained when she turned back towards them and said the magic word - "tests".

It was something that was compulsory, whether they were planning to attend university or not. They needed that certificate if they wanted to apply in the future too, so he needed to do it just in case. If not, his entire educational experience would have been for nothing. The only other way to do that sort of test was to go into a major city and pay almost 300,000W to take it. The school he was at, however, could do it for free for their students. It would last for ten years, meaning that they could always put their degree off for a while, and it basically dictated what universities would accept them for their holistic skills. Then they would be able to be picky about the specific qualifications the students had for their particular courses. It was a complex system, but it made it so that the students from small villages like their own had a chance of going to university. Their place didn't depend on the reputation of the high school they attended, and they wouldn't be looked down upon for taking an additional course at the end of high school so that they could work on their skills and learn about the subject that they wanted to study further.

And as much as it was annoying for them to have to study things that didn't really mean that much to them now that they weren't in high school - like maths, science and deductive skills - it was something that Wonwoo knew he had to do. He had to put himself out there and show that he was able to do it, and he needed to be sure that he was good enough to go to university, even though he was still very unsure as to whether it was for him. He ended up taking a full page of notes about the contents of the exam, when their mocks were, when the actual exams were, the average grades that different universities required from base knowledge, and then how he would go about applying to those universities. Their teacher even hinted towards the fact that they would up their chances further by having extracurricular activities under their belts, and that even speaking to the admissions officers at the universities would grant them a little bit of flexibility on the grade boundaries. That was not only on the grades for the entrance tests, but also their high school grades.

That wasn't really something that Wonwoo needed to worry about, though. He received a grade of 4.5 when he was in high school, despite the fact that he was in an area that was typically considered to be lower when it came to educational standards. He had taught himself most of the content through reading extra books and learning from other people, and he was determined to improve his grades more and more throughout his academic career. If he did well on the entrance tests, he would pretty much be able to attend any university in the country. Of course, there were some limits in how many people were going to be accepted on each course and how much they were going to charge for their teaching services, but he was sure that things would work out fine for him. All he had to do was study hard and do exactly how he had done when he was in school and things would come to him naturally.

Then his teacher mentioned scholarships.

It instantly added pressure to the mix. He wasn't all that bothered about it to start with, since he knew that he was already doing well, but now it was vital that he performed to the best of his ability. "Even the lower-ranking universities will be looking for students with exceptionally high entrance exam grades to award scholarships," his teacher explained as she added the topic to the list on the board. "For those who are worried about the cost of living or know that it'll be difficult to scrape together tuition fees, it's absolutely vital that you work your hardest and get top grades so that you have the best possible chance of getting a scholarship. Research what your university is looking for beforehand, too. Some might give out additional monetary awards for those who are skilled in drama or sports, for example." 

Wonwoo's mouth instantly went dry. He knew right away that it would be worse than high school when it came to studying. In high school, he had worked hard but ultimately knew that even if he didn't revise, he would get at least a 3.5 in the class. Now, there was an element of competition. Not only did he have to compete to get a place but he also had to compete to get one of very few awards so that he didn't need to reply on Mingyu entirely. From the moment it was announced, his heart was set on getting one of the scholarships, and so that was what he was going to be spending all of his free time on over the following month.

In fact, he decided to get started as soon as the class had finished. He didn't bother going home or speaking to Mingyu about everything that was happening in his life, even though he figured that it would be nice to go to him at some point to find out whether he had landed himself in a lot of trouble for revealing himself, but instead took a walk straight over to the library, snatched up whatever books he could find on the assigned topics, and then sat in the corner to start his studies. Although it could have been an incredibly boring experience, he found that it was incredibly easy to motivate himself when he had something to work towards, and so he managed to push through six books on a number of topics before the librarian made his way over to announce that the library was due to close shortly. Only at that point did he start putting the books back on the shelves before cheekily grabbing a few more on the way out and signing them out for the night.

From there, he went straight home with the intention of continuing his studies. He had no computer at home so he would need to wait until he either got back to school or the library to be able to do further research online, meaning that boring over ten additional subject refresher books was his only option for the night. He might even ask his teacher if she could print out a load of example or past paper questions for him to work on when he got back to class the following morning, he decided, so at least then he would be able to do something even more productive at home. When he was reading like that, he didn't know whether he was actively studying or passively reading half of the time and so he needed to make sure that the information was actually going in where possible.

As soon as he walked through the front door, though, he was stopped by his mother. "Your father is in the barn with the cow. She's been in labour for around an hour so far but the calf isn't coming out just yet. Do you mind taking some blankets out for him, please? And maybe helping him out for a while?" Wonwoo had to admit that it wasn't the best timing, but he was rather glad that it was happening early on instead of when his exams were around the corner. Although he did want to continue with his work, he supposed that it was for the best that he took a bit of a break so that his mind was refreshed by the time he went back up to his bedroom, so he took his books through to his bedroom before snatching up a towel and making his way over to the barn to meet his father. 

By the time he got to the barn, the cow was trying to brace herself to give birth. It was clear that even though she was struggling to give birth to the calf, she wasn't distressed. That was the most important thing. Wonwoo hated to see their animals in pain. He hated how sometimes they would get ill or struggle to give birth or would get trapped in some bizarre way that shouldn't even make sense. They were like family, after all; although they were mostly there to help with the run of business and get some income coming in for his parents, Wonwoo had grown up with a lot of the animals. Sure, there were some who had passed away or had ended up being sold, but he had watched calves and lambs and foals growing from newborns to fully-grown adults. And it was frankly the most rewarding thing to be able to maintain that trust that he had built with them over the years. In situations like this, where a cow was giving birth but struggling to do so, he could go over to stroke her face and keep her feeling comfortable as she continued to try to push the calf out, and it meant that it was a lot nicer of an experience for everyone.

It must have taken an additional hour for the calf to come out, though. Whilst usually it would be easier as soon as the legs started coming out, she gave up pushing pretty quickly. She was a first-time mother and a pretty lazy one at that, as she simply waited for the baby to sort itself out. So they gave her a bit of time to see if she was going to continue pushing but when it became clear that it just wasn't going to happen, they tried pulling the calf out. Only then did she start pushing, so they tried to give her space to try it alone again, but she stopped again as soon as they stopped, which meant that they needed to get hands-on again. Sometimes she would push to help them out, whereas sometimes she would just lie there and accept face pats from Wonwoo. It was a pain, but they managed to get the calf out without him or his mother getting hurt. He was rubbed down with the towel by Wonwoo, since his mother simply stared at him without trying to clean him, and then he was given the chance to feed from her. Thankfully, that bit worked out a lot better because she didn't really need to do much, but it was still a pain for Wonwoo to see her putting in the absolute bare minimum effort.

By the time he got back to his room - after making sure that the calf was okay and having a very quick dinner with his parents - Wonwoo found that it was incredibly difficult to continue with the work he needed to do. He had expected that it would be easy enough to get back into it, considering that he actually enjoyed studying and had a set plan of what he wanted to get done by the time he went to bed, but it was easier said than done. He opened one of his books to start - a biology book, which he knew a lot about already and knew that he would be able to blast through the book without much difficulty - but he quickly found that he was merely staring at the words without taking it in. His eyes glossed over the pages, taking note of the occasional word like "cells" and "epidermis" but not taking in the context of the words. So he started trying to read it out loud instead, in hopes that it would help him to commit the information to memory.

It proved to be fruitless, though, so he figured that it was best to simply have a shower and go to bed. He would be up early in the morning so that he could continue with his work, and then it wouldn't really matter all that much by the time he went to class. He would still be ahead of everyone else in his class and that was what mattered the most. Putting himself out there was incredibly important, and so being a step ahead of at least a class worth of people would make it that tiny bit more likely that he would be granted the scholarship at his chosen university. Perhaps only by one or two percent, but it was something at least. He needed all the advantage that he could get. He dragged himself to the shower and spent an unusually long time washing himself, trying his best to clear his mind of his workload so that he would be able to get a decent night's sleep, and then he dragged himself back to his room so that he could get ready to sleep.

As he started looking through his clothes, in an attempt to find something comfortable to wear to bed, he noticed the light catching something in the corner of his eye. He paused, looking over to where the night was, only to see that it was the shiny fabric of the pyjamas that Mingyu had given him that weekend. For a minute, he just stared at them. They had been worn but they weren't exactly dirty, he supposed. It wasn't as if he had been sleeping with them on when he was in Fei's room; he had taken a shower and put them on, then slept in his own bed at home when he got back. He decided pretty quickly that it was a waste to not wear them for a second night, and so he ended up pulling them on and climbing into bed to sleep.

It was strangely comforting for him. It was a reminder that even though he hadn't spoken to Mingyu at all that day - despite trying his hardest to remember to ask him about how his talk with the other gods went - he still had a piece of the god with him at all times. Sure, they weren't official just yet. His mother had said that she approved of him as her son's boyfriend when he first arrived home, and he hadn't had the guts to tell her that they weren't officially together. But it seemed like a good idea, as far as he was concerned. Mingyu was a bit needy at times and acted like a complete child when he didn't get what he wanted - that usually being constant attention or to feel included in everything that Wonwoo was doing - but he was also a good guy. He didn't leave Wonwoo in a bad place just because the other gods had told him that he wasn't allowed to show his human form. He wasn't prepared to throw him under the bus by telling his friends that they weren't actually together and didn't have a sexual relationship, which Wonwoo had lied about pretty badly.

Whilst Wonwoo had absolutely intended on going straight to sleep when he was in bed, the thoughts of his and Mingyu's relationship successfully kept him up. He couldn't help it; they were swarming his mind and reminding him of how everything was playing out for them. He wished that those thoughts would go away for a few hours and allow him to rest, but they were strangely persistent and no amount of imagining a blank piece of paper stopped them from worming their way back into his mind. For almost an hour, he was left lying there without any success. He had done everything he could to relax - every different breathing exercise and uncomfortable position and reflection on the actual events of the day - but it was in complete vain. So he eventually ended up sitting up and thinking it through for a while before deciding on what he actually wanted to do about it. That thing was to call Mingyu and ask for him to be there.

"Mingyu," he called out into the darkness. "I need to talk to you about something, or else I'm not going to be able to sleep." There was no answer to start with, so he called out a second time. "It's something that's important, and I think you need to hear it as soon as possible, if that's okay." Again, nothing. He gave a sigh and flopped back into bed to wait for the god to appear. Naturally, though, it only took until his head was back on the pillow for Mingyu to emerge from the shadows and make his way over to the bed, where he knelt next to Wonwoo and took a hand in his own. He was back to being a dark figure with dark features, Wonwoo noted, although he wasn't going to complain. At least he was there.

Mingyu immediately started ranting about why he was so late to get there. There was traffic going out to see their partners, he claimed, and he was waiting behind eight other gods. It was impossible at peak time, and peak time usually came either really early in the morning or really late at night. He continued to give his excuses until Wonwoo reached up to press a fingertip to his lips, and then they were sat in silence together for a good fifteen or so seconds before Wonwoo said what was on his mind. No context, no anecdote; he just said it how it was.

"I want to be your boyfriend now."


	12. Chapter 12

Mingyu was officially Wonwoo's boyfriend.

It felt like a dream, in some ways. Wonwoo hadn't really expected that he would ever have a boyfriend. He thought that he would end up skipping that part when he was younger. He thought that he would end up simply moving in with Mingyu and marrying him immediately. He didn't think that there would be the opportunity to date, and he certainly didn't think that he would go to his parents and announce, "Mingyu agreed to be my boyfriend last night." In one sense, it felt absolutely right. It was the perfect situation for him; he wanted nothing more than to be Mingyu's boyfriend. In another, though, it felt really wrong. It felt as if they shouldn't be courting when they were supposed to simply get on with it and move in together. He was supposed to drop everything so that he could have children with Mingyu. That was how the story went in all of the books he read. Yet, Mingyu was insistent that he stay in the village and do what he wanted to do first; he had seen so many boys losing their sense of identity because they hadn't had the chance to be themselves before they joined him, so he wasn't going to be the one to drag him away from his life too early.

"We have plenty of time anyway," he told him as he cuddled up close to him that night. "In fact, the other gods here have a way of making it so that I could live with you up here forever, without even having to worry that you'll die of old age in the future. I mean, they haven't told me how to do it yet, but I'm sure they'll tell me eventually. And then we have infinite time together. They've done that with their husbands and wives so I don't know why I can't do the same and spend forever with you." Then he paused for a while as he began to stroke Wonwoo's hair. It felt nice to have someone stroking his hair like that; it was something that he hadn't felt since he was a child, but it took him right back to when he was little in an instant. Mingyu had a magic touch when it came to stroking his hair. "I think you're the first one since Fei who has actually fallen for me before we got married, you know. I don't think anyone else even kissed me before I took them to my place. So I wouldn't mind staying with you forever."

"Is it just because I look like Fei?" Wonwoo asked. Mingyu shook his head frantically.  
"No no, it doesn't matter what you look like. I would've kept her if it was possible, but now I want to keep you and make you my man for the rest of time. You know I'm not into girls anymore anyway." He was pouting childishly and Wonwoo couldn't help but press a little kiss to his nose. That seemed to assure him that Wonwoo hadn't said it to be malicious, but Mingyu continued with the act of pouting as he continued to snuggle closer to his new boyfriend. It wasn't long before Wonwoo fell asleep in his arms, only to find that he wasn't there in the morning. It was probably for the best anyway, he figured; he was up early to study and bothering Mingyu at five o'clock in the morning was probably not a good idea. He struck Wonwoo as the sort of person who would be easily bothered by blaring alarms in the early hours of the morning but even if he wasn't, Wonwoo didn't really want to risk it in the first place. Besides, he still wasn't supposed to see his face in the light, so it meant missing the arguments with the other gods.

Strangely, nothing really felt as if it had changed when he woke up, though. He thought that there would be a feeling in his stomach that he was in a relationship with someone; that his heart would be screaming out about it for days. He thought that there would be a significant change in his mood, or that he would be able to feel Mingyu's presence at all times. That was his perception of how relationships were anyway. It was how they were portrayed in fairy tales and romance novels, and so he thought that he would experience the same feeling. As it turned out, there was very little difference at all at all. He got on with his studying as usual. He brushed his teeth and washed his body. He got into his uniform and went downstairs. He announced the relationship to his parents and ate his breakfast. Then he went straight to class, completed his work, studied some more, and then started on his way to the library so that he could continue studying hard for the university entrance exams.

That was when he saw it. A notice for a university open day.

It was hanging next to the door on the way out of the school, placed neatly to show its importance to anyone who happened to pass it. Wonwoo stopped dead in his tracks and stared at it. It was one of the top universities in the country, from what he remembered; one that was expensive but would be great to attend. It would not only help him to reach his life goals, but it would also present the village in a good light if one of their students went to that university. So he wrote down the name on his hand and made his way over to the library so that he could research the place more. He checked online on one of their computers to see if he could find any other information about them. How many students did they take in every year? What sort of degrees did they offer and were they all accredited? Were their students all happy with the quality of teaching and facilities? Was it a homestay university only, or was there accommodation on campus too?

He managed to find out a lot about the university from the website alone and frankly, he was thrilled. He couldn't help but smile with pride as he took the notes down for his own reference, but that all changed instantly when he searched online for train tickets to the nearest station to the university. "Sixty-thousand won," he breathed, pressing his face into his hands. His dream cracked and crumbled in a matter of seconds. He figured that if he was going to attend an open day like that, the ticket price would probably only cost around fifteen- to twenty-thousand won, but it seemed that he had severely underestimated the process of getting there. The journey included three changes on regular trains, plus three more on the underground when he finally got where he needed to be. It was the curse of being in such a remote village with limited access to outside cities and he absolutely hated it. He tried to work it out in other ways - changing the travel times and adjusting it so that he was buying single tickets to each stop, rather than one ticket for the whole journey there and one for the whole journey back, but it was almost as much money.

Then the anger and upset started to build up inside of him until he was on the verge of tears. He could feel them starting to well up in his eyes as he stared at the screen, and he wanted nothing more than to throw the computer across the room so that he could feel that little bit better about the situation. But Wonwoo knew full well that it would only make it worse, especially if he was to break it. He stared in silence, his fingers twitching in anticipation before he finally cracked and switched it off. He gathered his belongings and made his way straight to the temple, where he flopped down on a chair rather childishly and sat with his arms crossed over his chest. For a while, he was sat there on his own, but then Mingyu eventually began to emerge through the shadows. "Do you want me to come out and chat with you about something or would you like me to leave you alone?" he asked. Wonwoo stayed completely silent, his arms still tucked up tight against his chest. Mingyu tried again. "I need to know what you want so that I can help you. Can you at least tell me what sort of thing it's about? Is it... friends? Family? School? Money?" He seemingly noticed how Wonwoo tensed up slightly when he mentioned money, and he immediately let out a little sigh.

"I already told you that if you need me to buy you anything, you should just ask me. You know I'm here for you and I'll pay for anything you want. Heck, you don't even need to ask me. You could just write it down, rub the palm of my statue, and then leave it in my statue's hand. That's what everyone else used to do."  
"I don't want you to buy me anything," Wonwoo grumbled. "I want you to tell me how I can earn money so that I can pay for the train tickets myself. I'm not one of those freeloading golddiggers who expects you to buy everything for him."  
"Why would you want to earn the money yourself when I can ge--"  
"It's a matter of principle." Mingyu couldn't argue with that. He stayed still for a while, but then eventually made his way out and took a seat next to Wonwoo. A hand reached out to touch his arm, but Wonwoo tensed under it so it was quickly moved away.

"What sort of principle are we talking here?" he asked. Wonwoo's eyes stayed on the floor. He didn't want to confess it to his boyfriend, but he figured that it probably wouldn't work for him to act as if he didn't know, nor would it be great for him to act as if it was none of Mingyu's business. So he simply came out with it.  
"The principle is that I don't want you to have to pay for me all the time and I want to be an independent adult. As I said, I'm not a golddigger and I'm not here to take your money whilst giving you nothing in return."  
"An independent adult?" Mingyu echoed with a smile. "You know you can be an independent adult and still rely on your boyfriend for help here and there, right?"

The word 'boyfriend' echoed in Wonwoo's mind and left his body shivering. He hadn't really heard it enough times for it to feel natural. Instead of answering, he simply sat there in silence and waited for Mingyu to make a point that didn't sound rhetorical. They made intense eye contact for a few seconds, and then Mingyu finally took a seat next to him. "How much are the tickets?"  
"Fifty-three thousand won."  
"And when is the event you want to go to?"  
"Next Friday." Mingyu winced slightly. Wonwoo knew right away that it was too much to expect that he could earn that much in such little time. He was left feeling bitter in an instant, and that much was very clear from his face, if Mingyu's reaction was anything to go by.

"Look," he said after a while, reaching over to touch Wonwoo's hands. "I don't really need anything from you to thank me for helping you out with things like this but if you really want to give me something in return, you could do something really little and dumb as payment. I don't know, something like taking a few sexy photos for me or something. It's not much really but I guess it probably feels like more payment than giving me a kiss and cuddling up to me sometimes, doesn't it?" Wonwoo's face instantly started to turn red. He could feel it. It started on his cheeks and spread towards his ears, taking his neck with it. He was a full-body blusher when he was embarrassed enough and this was the sort of incident that would leave him getting embarrassed enough, honestly.  
"I, uh... I don't have a camera or mobile phone or anything," he announced. For a minute, Mingyu was completely silent. He was judging, Wonwoo noted; judging how well his suggestion had been taken.

"You know, you don't need to do that specifically, especially if you're uncomfortable with the thought of taking naked photos for me. It was just a suggestion. You know, I didn't actually mean to suggest that you do explicit things for me; it just slipped out a bit without me even thinking it through properly." Wonwoo took in a deep breath and shook his head. The eye contact that he made with Mingyu was intense - almost forceful - and he was suddenly relieved that his boyfriend wouldn't be able to see that his face was uncomfortably scarlet in colour in the darkness of the room.  
"I want to take explicit photos for you. I think that it would be sufficient payment for you. Nothing else would be good enough, I don't think. I can't afford to give you anything monetary and kisses aren't worth a lot when we've already passed that hurdle. I just need to find a phone or something so that I can take them for you."

Mingyu seemed surprised that he would actually be okay with doing that sort of thing, but he wasn't going to complain when Wonwoo seemed so confident about it. So he motioned towards the statue and told him that he would give him some time to do it and would arrange for the tickets as he did it. He asked Wonwoo to write down all of the information on a sheet of paper and leave it in the statue's hand so that he would be able to get it sent directly to his home, and so Wonwoo did as he was told before snatching up the mobile phone that was left there. He made his way straight home, making sure to plan it all out in his head on the way there so that he could make sure that everything was perfect. The phone stayed clutched very tightly in his hand as he walked, and he only really examined it properly when he finally arrived back and made his way up to his bedroom.

It was strange to see a device like that up close. Of course, a lot of the people at Seungkwan's party had that sort of phone, but he had never really had the chance to touch one in his life. The screen was around five inches long on the diagonal, and it was probably around half a centimetre thick. There were only two buttons on the side of the device, and so he pressed each in turn until the screen finally illuminated. It was the smallest button, he noted; perhaps he would find out what the long button did later on down the line, but it didn't appear to do anything obvious when he pressed it the first time. "Swipe ->" the screen instructed. He hesitantly pressed a finger to the device and slowly moved it to one side of the screen, watching carefully how the screen saver of the night sky slowly turned into a photo of a cat. The cat was rather cute, actually. It had no fur but its eyes were huge and it looked a bit grumpy. It had a red coat wrapped around its body and a bright pink collar, and someone had obviously edited the photo to include a glowing crown above the cat's head. He would bring that up with Mingyu later on when he had more time to chat with him properly.

Wonwoo made sure to take a few tester photos to make sure that he knew how the camera worked. He knew how to get to the app up, having seen the photos that his friends were taking at the party, but he was hardly skilled in the art of taking photos of himself. He did have an eye for what made an artistic photo, though, so it wasn't too difficult to find some angles that looked good. Once he was feeling more confident with it, he decided that he would start to mix things up and try taking some intimate photos. He searched through his drawer for an oversized jumper to wear, and then grabbed his welly socks whilst he was at it. They weren't the most attractive socks in the world but they reached his mid-thigh if he pulled them up all the way, so they seemed a little bit sexier than regular socks. He figured that it would be best to wear nothing else with that attire, though, since it seemed like enough to just about cover his body in ways that would leave Mingyu guessing, but would still give him a good view of everything he had to offer.

So he began taking photos. The jumper was strategically placed to cover his crotch as he took one facing the camera. His thighs were showing all the way up to his hip, though, and Mingyu would have certainly been able to see his ass if the camera angles permitted that sort of thing. Next, he took a few where the curve of his hips was visible. The focus of those photos was his thighs; he made sure to show off as much of them as possible in the photos and did everything he could to make his legs look as long as possible. He even dared to show off a bit of ass in the photos, although he tried his hardest to limit it so that the photos still seemed modest. Well, to start with. They gradually got more and more erotic until he eventually had a photo that was set up in the bathroom where he was reaching up to grab something from the top shelf of the medicine cabinet above the sink and his entire ass was showing. Likewise, there was one where he was wearing only the socks and his crotch was covered by his hands alone. 

Admittedly, he wasn't sure whether he wanted Mingyu to see them when they were all taken. He spent longer than necessary just staring at the images, considering whether or not he wanted to keep them. It took him a while to come to the final decision to keep them, and it was ultimately made because he was concerned that it was improper to make an empty promise when Mingyu was doing so much for him. So he snatched the phone up again and made his way back to the temple. He knew that it was getting close to dinnertime and he wasn't supposed to be going out, but he figured that his parents wouldn't mind all that much. After all, he was doing it for his education, so it was best that he _did_ go to the temple to get it over and done with. He kept the phone clutched close to his chest the entire time and then promptly made his way into the temple when he finally arrived. It was placed in the statue's hand again, and then Wonwoo took a seat on the bench.

He could feel time passing as he waited for Mingyu to appear. He knew that his boyfriend had been notified of his presence since that was always the case when he arrived at the temple. He didn't know whether it came as an alarm or whether Mingyu just knew that he was there, but it always happened when he arrived. And as demonstrated earlier that day, Mingyu could sense him there even when he didn't want to be sensed. Wonwoo didn't need to call out for him directly. So he waited patiently. His hands started out in his lap with his thighs pressed close together, but then his posture gradually grew sloppier and sloppier until he eventually decided to call out for his boyfriend. He tried his hardest to avoid sounding angry, although it proved to be a difficult task when he was so irritable about the fact that he had been waiting for ages for his boyfriend to appear. "Mingyu," he called out into the empty room. "I brought your gift. Would you mind coming out?"

Still nothing. So he continued to wait. He was a faithful guy; he knew that something probably came up and Mingyu was trying his hardest to sort it out. And even if that wasn't the case, he knew that Mingyu wouldn't simply be ignoring him. That wasn't his boyfriend's style, so he knew that there was nothing to worry about at all. It just meant that he was forced to wait. And wait. And wait some more. He simply sat there in silence as he waited for Mingyu to realise that he was there, figuring that if he did fall asleep, it wouldn't matter all that much. He could feel himself starting to get bored of looking at the same walls, though, and his mind began to wander through the things that he could have been doing with his time. He could have been working on his studies or checking on the calf, for example. He could have been taking a shower or catching up on sleep. There were a number of things that he would have been better off doing, but he wasn't prepared to back down and give in to the desire to do those other things when he had promised himself that he would wait there.

Eventually, there was a mild disruption in the corner of the room. Wonwoo suddenly shot right up and stared intensely at the spot that the god usually came from, only to find that a significantly smaller figure appeared instead. He knew right away that it wasn't Mingyu and had to fight the urge to flee, as he knew right away that the figure wasn't there to cause him any harm. It was calm and slow, making sure to give Wonwoo plenty of time to process what was happening before taking a seat next to him. "Jeon Wonwoo," it said to him. Wonwoo felt a tingle run up his spine immediately. This figure's voice was calm and soothing, but a lot stronger than Mingyu's ever was. Perhaps it was a sign of power or authority. "I figured that it would only be polite to come down here and tell you that Mingyu is currently being scolded by one of the higher gods for his conduct earlier today. I assume that you know what incident I'm talking about here."

Of course, the first thing that came to Wonwoo's mind was the issue with the train tickets. For the moment, he had completely forgotten about the phone and the photos. "Oh, I'm sorry about that. I told him that he didn't have to get me anything, but he insisted. I feel awful about it as it is without knowing that my request ended with him being scolded. I'll fund the tickets myself instead of asking for further help." He bowed his head politely, only to find that the figure remained unmoving. He could sense some emotion in the way that it stared at him, even though he couldn't see a face. Pinpointing what that emotion was exactly, though, proved to be particularly difficult when the figure was featureless.  
"It's not about the tickets," they eventually informed him. "It's Mingyu's money, after all. If he chooses to spend it all on you, so be it. He can buy you things whenever he wants, but he has to keep in mind that you can't take things from this world into our world, even if you were to put a whole bag of belongings on the hand of the statue. There are limits on that sort of thing, but they aren't related to his ability to buy you things. No, the incident in question is the one in which he asked you to take explicit photos for him."

Wonwoo's stomach lurched. "Wait, I don't believe that he shouldn't be punished for that either. It was a joke and I took it seriously, even when he told me that I didn't need to do that sort of thing."  
"But he still asked that of someone, and that's not appropriate." That was that. No other explanation or hints as to what punishment Mingyu was receiving; Wonwoo was left having to guess instead, and he found that it was an incredibly uncomfortable experience to simply sit there with the unfamiliar being sat opposite to him. So he eventually ended up piping up to ask about it all, figuring that it would be best if he knew so that he would be able to give the appropriate apologies to Mingyu when the time came for him to see his boyfriend again.  
"What are the other gods doing to him at the moment? Is it the same sort of thing they did to him when he got scolded for showing me his face?"

Again, the figure remained still for a while before speaking. "I am not allowed to disclose his punishment and neither is he. I would just suggest that you take a step back for a little while and take some time to yourself whilst we deal with this situation, and then you can always come to visit him again in the morning." The figure stood to leave, but Wonwoo stayed right there. He could feel the adrenaline starting to trickle into his blood as he realised that he was about to speak out of turn to an elder but he couldn't stop himself; he couldn't bring himself to hide his hurt and anger when Mingyu was being punished for something so ridiculous.  
"Could you at least promise me that he'll get his phone back, please?" he asked.

"I can't promise such a thing," the figure informed him as they made their way towards the statue. They picked up the phone in one hand and stared at it in silence before engulfing it into darkness. "I will have to review it with the other gods before we can allow him to have it back. I hope you understand why we need to do this."  
"I consent to him seeing me naked, though," Wonwoo snapped. The adrenaline continued to pump through his body as he realised that he was reaching into the territory of being rude to the figure but he wasn't simply going to sit there and allow them to put his work to waste. He had been fully aware of the implications and consequences that came along with taking lewd photos for another person, but he had agreed to take the risk and was happy to allow his boyfriend to see the photos. No one else could make that decision for him but likewise, no one else could tell him that it wasn't his decision to make.

"I want him to see the photos," he demanded, trying his hardest to maintain a polite tone as he spoke. "If you don't let him see what I took for him, I'll simply come along to the temple tomorrow and take my clothes off for him so that he can see it in person. And I doubt that you would approve of me doing that in a place of worship, would you?" The figure paused, seemingly considering it all.  
"I don't know whether I can allow that either," they told him, "So I'll speak to the other gods about it. Goodnight." With that, they left. Wonwoo didn't even have the chance to answer before the figure was gone. He simply stared after them and waited for a few minutes whilst he made sense of everything that had gone on, then promptly stood and made his way home.

It was dark when Wonwoo stepped outside and started on his way home, which was hardly a surprise considering that he had started on his way over there as the sun was setting. Still, it was strange to have gone inside when he could still see the signs hanging above the shops without squinting, only to find that he couldn't do the same as he started on his way back home. The day felt as if it had lasted forever, especially since he had studied at the school, then found out about the university in the library, gone to the temple twice and been home between the visits. He didn't have the time, though, so he couldn't check exactly how long he had been away. He just hoped that his parents wouldn't be too upset with him for not being back in time for dinner. He picked up his pace when he thought about the fact that his dinner would be getting cold, and finally broke into a jog when he got to the last stretch before the farmhouse.

Upon arrival, he was glad to see that his parents weren't too bothered by the time it took him to get there. He gave his excuses nonetheless. "Sorry, Mingyu asked to see me for some reason but I arrived at the temple to find that he wasn't there. Apparently, the other gods are telling him off for doing something that he wasn't supposed to do." His mother seemed surprised by the explanation; only when he mentioned that Mingyu was being scolded did she lift her head from her newspaper and look up at him expectantly.  
"Do you know what he did wrong?" she asked, "It's nothing that I should be concerned about, is it?"  
"Oh, just something really dumb. He came to my room to kiss me this morning and the other gods said that he wasn't allowed to just turn up in daylight like that."

It was somewhat true, he supposed. He didn't want to tell complete lies about that sort of thing, but he was hardly going to tell his mother about the true reason this time. She didn't really need to know that her son was taking explicit photos for someone who had been his boyfriend for less than a day. In fact, she probably wouldn't be appreciative of him doing that at any point, even if he had been married to Mingyu for twenty years. Whenever there was a scandal involving someone's naked photos, she would always tut and say the same sort of thing. "I have no sympathy because they should have known not to take photos where they're showing skin like that. It's vulgar and inappropriate and they deserve everything they get." Wonwoo didn't really want to have that sort of discussion with her, so he was going to pretend that it was simply a kiss that got Mingyu in trouble. At least that way, she wouldn't suspect anything if anything more _did_ happen between the two of them. Four years whilst he took his degree would be a long time to be dating without any physical aspect to their romance, Wonwoo figured, so there was always the possibility that it _would_ occur.

He ate his dinner in silence, informing his mother beforehand that he needed to hurry up and finish it so that he could get back to studying. It was true; he hadn't done nearly as much as he'd hoped by that point in time, so he needed to do at least a few more hours of work before he went to bed. Once he was done, he washed his utensils and put them away before making his way straight up to his room. The socks and jumper from earlier that day were tossed to one side so that he didn't need to think about the photos again, and then he sat on the floor with the books spread out around him. A bit of mathematics here, a bit of Korean there. He did what he could to answer a few questions from each section, and then worked on the parts that he performed worst at during those self-assessments. It was the smart way of going about his studies. If he already remembered it, after months of not actively trying to keep it in his mind, he obviously knew it well enough to not need the extra revision. Dwelling on it too much would be a waste of valuable time.

Once he had spent that time revising, he made sure to brush his teeth and wash himself down with a flannel before bed. This time, he chose to simply wear an oversized shirt to bed; his room felt stuffy and he wasn't all too fond of wearing pyjamas when it already felt as if he was choking in his bedroom. He pulled it on with ease and cuddled up in his bed, falling asleep in a matter of minutes.

Which was all well and good until Mingyu visited him in his dreams. He had read about that sort of thing in all of his research books. First they would get involved with Mingyu, then he would appear in their dreams and get them pregnant. It was how the story always went, so it was exactly what Wonwoo was expecting. Even though it didn't make sense for that to happen, Wonwoo's sleep drunk mind anticipated the same sort of story. Except this time, Mingyu simply crawled into bed next to him and cuddled up close. His face wore the usual pout, and he stared up at Wonwoo with puppy eyes as he wrapped his legs around the nearest one of Wonwoo's legs. His feet were cold against bare skin, Wonwoo noted; it was the first time he'd considered that Mingyu had feet, and it was a rather abrupt reminder when the cold skin left his body shivering.

"They told me off for everything. Wouldn't stop going on about it, even though we're both adults and can make our own decisions. They told me that I need making mistakes with you and just because they were lenient when I was with the early ones doesn't mean they're gonna be lenient when I'm with you," Mingyu whined childishly. "Comfort me - I'm feeling fragile." Wonwoo didn't know why he hadn't expected that. He had seriously thought that Mingyu would be coming to him for mature reasons - to tell him that they were going to have a baby together or that he needed to join him shortly - but the god had instead joined him so that he could mope over his punishment. Of course, he refused to say what that punishment was exactly, but he didn't hesitate to whine and whinge about everything else until Wonwoo suddenly kissed him to shut him up.

In an instant, Mingyu's mood changed. He kissed back with force, pulling Wonwoo closer so that he would be able to feel their chests touching. For the first time, Wonwoo could feel Mingyu solidly without any hint that he wasn't really there. That was the biggest problem with their kisses before that point in time; although Mingyu was there, he wasn't quite _there_ physically, so the kisses felt light and airy. This one was more like his dreams of the forest and the person who would kiss him when he left the pool. This one was aggressive and dominant, with Mingyu truly showing him how it felt to be kissed by a man. Wonwoo had to admit it; he really enjoyed the feeling of a proper kiss when he had been longing for it for so long, and so he gave in to his desires by allowing Mingyu to kiss down his neck too.

It was moving quickly, but neither of them really minded to start with. Wonwoo could feel his chest starting to heave as the desire to be touched began to fill his body, and it only served to increase Mingyu's enthusiasm as he began to suck at the skin underneath his mouth. A hand pressed against Wonwoo's clothed chest and then nails slowly dragged down towards the hem of his shirt and then--

Wonwoo woke up with a jolt. He was surprised to see that Mingyu was still next to him and that his room was still dark. Despite that, though, he knew right away that he was completely stiff and that they had decided against going further. If not, he certainly wouldn't have woken up like that. So he slid down further under the covers and cocooned himself before trying his hardest to go back to sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

The experience of visiting universities was intimidating, but Wonwoo went nonetheless.

He had to understand how it felt to be there. After all, he had spent so much time concerning himself over the fact that his brother was able to attend university and he wasn't able to study further education because of that, but he hadn't ever really been to one so the feelings of disappointment could have easily been futile. For all he knew, he could hate it at every single university in the country, and so it could have all been a waste. He couldn't afford to travel the world to find his place in the world, which meant that it was this or nothing. He figured that it was easiest to attend a few and get a feel of the atmosphere and environment, and then he would start searching seriously. If it got to the point where he was searching seriously, he would spend as much time as possible looking through the universities' websites in order to ensure that he really liked the sound of the course and city, and then he would ask for Mingyu's help to get there. After all, the god might have had a lot of money building over a number of years, but it didn't mean that Wonwoo should take up every excuse to use some of it. That wouldn't be fair.

The first university he attended was a relatively average one, just to get him started. It was the middle-ground, or so to speak. Nothing too big or too small; the requirements were average, the course was average, and the campus itself was average. It wasn't anything that would blow his mind, but he wanted to get an idea of whether studying further would be something that he could really enjoy. So he attended the open day and explored every single little aspect of the place. From the lectures through to the canteen, from the accommodation to the games room in one of the social areas; he checked every single nook and cranny that was open for hopeful students to look around. He made sure to chat with every member of staff who would give him the time of day, and made sure to hold particularly in-depth conversations with the heads of the courses he was interested in and the admissions officer. They were the people who would ultimately help him to decide on whether that sort of life was for him, after all; they had probably seen the sorts of students who took those courses and noticed the common factors that caused students to drop out.

"I think that if you have a passion for literature, you'll really come to enjoy life away from home. It's daunting to start with, but it's something that will help you to be your best self. After all, if your little town doesn't offer that aspect of the educational experience, there's only so much that you can do to increase your knowledge outside of what they have to offer in books. Especially if you're going to be working and the only computer in the town is in the library," the admissions officer pointed out. And frankly, it was a fair point. Wonwoo hadn't really considered the fact that working on the farm for a little while - until, of course, he was eventually ready to move in with Mingyu - would limit the amount of new knowledge he could gain. Sure, he would learn more about how to run a farm and how to do the aspects of manual labour that only his father did, but it wasn't anything to do with his personal interests. It wasn't enough to sate his thirst for information, and it certainly wasn't going to result in him leaving the village feeling satisfied.

He thought about that a lot when he was on his way to the train station again. It was a sure sign that he needed to go ahead and study at university whilst he had the chance to do it. His need to learn surpassed his desire to stay in the village by far, and so university was his only option. He felt a lot happier about everything when he got onto the train, having been fulfilled by the conversations that he held with all of the people he met whilst he was there, but then he took his seat and crashed right away. Emotionally and physically. He had been drained more than he had realised. It was as if he was an inflatable bed and someone had pricked a tiny hole in one of his corners. Bit by bit, he was being starved of everything that was keeping him functioning, until he eventually hit the point where he was unusable. And for the rest of the night, he was _certainly_ going to be unusable. His plan was to go home and sleep right away, and then wake early in the morning to start studying for his exams again.

But then, once he had caught the travel bug and wanted nothing more than to explore more universities, he couldn't help taking more time away from his classes so that he could look at the universities that he was actually interested in attending. He had - just as he had planned - researched all of them in immense detail before narrowing it down to five universities that he was the most interested in visiting. So he made a list of their open days, which were all taking place over the space of three weeks, and then booked the tickets with Mingyu. Admittedly, he did feel a bit bad when he went to visit his boyfriend in the temple so that he could ask for money, but Mingyu was more than happy to give him the tickets right away. After all, he wanted Wonwoo to enjoy his freedom as much as possible and if it meant helping him to find a place to take his degree before they were united, he was happy to help. The cheerful approach to it certainly helped to reduce the stress of it all in Wonwoo's mind, and so he attended all of the open days in turn.

The first one was interesting, to say the least. It was a highly prestigious university with excellent grades. Almost every student who attended received a top degree in the end, and the student satisfaction rates were exceptionally high. It was hard to believe that a university could receive such great scores, but Wonwoo instantly understood how they managed to get such marks as soon as he stepped onto the campus. The buildings had a historic edge; whilst many of the universities nearby were fresh and new, it was clear that this one had been around for a long time and had subsequently built its status up over time. However, it was hardly an unattractive building. The architecture was absolutely beautiful, as far as Wonwoo was concerned, and he was happy to see that the buildings had been restored seamlessly on the outside. There was no sign of damage or vandalism, and it seemed like the picture-perfect image that came to mind as soon as he thought about studying further education.

Strangely enough, no one was particularly snobbish when he tried to talk to them. At least, not the lecturers or other staff. They were all more than happy to discuss the university, city and course with him, and they didn't even seem to care that he was very obviously poor. It was something that Wonwoo figured a lot of rich people could tell about him; even when he was wearing his best clothes, the rich people who came into the village for business would be able to pick his family out as being one of the poorest in an instant. He didn't know how they managed to do that, but it happened nonetheless. He had expected, as a result, that there would be ill-feelings towards his desire to attend the university; that they would assume that poor meant unintelligent. But it was far from the case. They only asked about his grades, instead of his background, and they did seem to be genuinely impressed by the fact that he was working so hard to get the top grades. It was certainly a confidence boost for Wonwoo, and it made him feel a lot more confident about attending.

The second was a lot more modern. It was primarily a sports and engineering university, but they also offered a few other courses in education, languages and science. They boasted some of the best courses, even in the areas that they didn't specialise in, but they weren't a popular choice for students. The tutors admitted that they only usually got around one hundred students for their literature courses, when they had around three-hundred places available. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, though; the student satisfaction ratings were high, and it meant that the tutors could spend a lot more time giving personal help to their students. After all, they weren't having to divide their attention between half as many students as they would have had to do if they were working with a larger cohort. It meant that a lot of the students also came out of their degree with a high grade, and they were often very prepared to take master's degrees or apply for relevant work placements.

Wonwoo was equally as intrigued by that university as he had been with the first. Of course, he thought he would like it when he was researching the different campuses, but he didn't really think that he would like both the older, more traditional universities _and_ the newer, fresher campuses. He expected that it would be one or the other, but it seemed to be the case that he didn't have much of a preference for that sort of thing. In fact, he aired that to the head of language and literature studies, and watched as he gave a warm smile in response. "It's a bit of a different sort of campus, I think," he told Wonwoo, "Whilst you might think that you'll come in and have a very obvious preference, sometimes it's not the case. You find that the atmosphere is as important as the appearance, and that's what draws you in. Do you think that you're feeling that?" It was probably the best way to word it, if he was being completely honest. It was hard to put a finger on exactly how he felt, but it was his best bet. He most definitely did like the atmosphere of the place, and so it was going high on his list.

Next, he attended a university that was old but rather plain. From the outside, it didn't really look much like a university at all. It looked more like a business centre, actually. Like the sort of place that would host meetings and conferences for people in stuffy business suits. It was unnerving, to say the least. But then he walked inside and everything changed. The hallways were bustling with people; filled with all different groups of students and teachers. There were posters hung up all over the walls, advertising the various clubs and activities that students could join, and the teachers were out mingling near the tables of guides. It was such a warm place that he forgot about his concerns and instantly melted into the experience. He found that everyone was as easy to talk to as they had been in other universities, and it made for an absolutely amazing day out. He even got to try a few of the activities that students took part in outside of their lessons - like fencing and a painting class - and then had a thirty-minute trial lecture, so that he would be able to get a feeling for how it was run.

He had to admit it - he didn't like it quite as much as he liked the first two, but it was still an excellent university. It still made him feel as if he was a part of something new, even before he had officially started attending classes there, and that little detail was quite unique, from what he could tell. Even so, it bothered him that the campus looked so plain from the outside, but so enthusiastic on the inside. It made it seem as if it was all just an act in order to encourage students to study there. Surely if they knew that they were supposed to be promoting the university to potential students, they would be starting the experience on a good foot from the outside. Surely that was a better option than to make him feel tense all the way through to the moment where he stepped into the building. It was the attention to detail that mattered the most, and that university failed to hit the mark.

Between the third and fourth university visits, Wonwoo had his exams. They were marked within five days of him taking them, seeing as they were taken a lot later than other students took those papers, which meant that he could get straight on to applying for places on the courses that interested him without having to wait for months to find out his grade. As expected, it was relatively easy to get where he wanted to be, and he found that the papers were as easy as he hoped they would be. The extra revision certainly paid off, as he managed to get a high enough score to match his previous exam grades, meaning that he had the power to get into whichever university that he ultimately ended up choosing. He had met all of the criteria for the five that he was applying for, and so it was simply down to Wonwoo to decide which one he would choose as his overall favourite, and which would be his back-ups. Of course, he was absolutely thrilled to find that he had that power to choose, and so he thrust himself into the final two university visits with passion.

The fourth was a lot like the second. A new campus with all new facilities and a high number of new members of staff, too. They tended to employ researchers in the area that was being taught, interestingly enough, which was a relatively new idea when it came to lecturing style. Nevertheless, Wonwoo actually liked it. It was a fresh idea; one that he hadn't really considered before. It would mean that he would get to know a lot of the theory behind the degree that he was planning on taking, and that he would get to talk to his lecturers about their own experience in the field. It was one thing being a lecturer who had studied the subject but never really had a career in that area outside of lecturing, but a completely different thing to have lecturers who could bring their own materials into the class and speak about them with confidence. It meant that that university was bumped up pretty high on the list right from the start.

The only issue with that one, actually, was the accommodation. He wasn't too fond of the tiny box rooms, which were around the same size as his bedroom at his parents' house. He didn't really want to be snobby about it, but it just made things difficult for him. How was he supposed to feel awakened if he felt trapped in his own bedroom? He didn't really think that it would be great to study in there, and it certainly wasn't going to be nice to have friends over in that room. For only a few thousand won more, other universities were offering much bigger bedrooms, which would have been ideal for him, as it would allow him to spread his study notes around the place with ease. In fact, the only good thing about the room really was that he didn't have to share with any other students if he moved in there - although, that could have also been a negative, as it encouraged cross-course interaction.

Finally, the fifth university was another historic one, but this one was around half as old as the first one had been. It meant that the university had modern twists; the odd building on site that was obviously made over the past few years, a mix of cobblestones and carpets everywhere, and the sorts. It wasn't how he expected it to be, based on what he had read. It was unusual, though; he expected that that sort of thing would appear mismatched, but it instead seemed to give a lived-in sort of aura. It showed him the history behind everything, from the fact it offered degrees to students back before attending university was a popular choice through to the continued traditions. It told a story, he supposed, and that was what got him to consider it for the list.

However, it wasn't going to be a contender for the top spot. He didn't really like the style of the lectures when he attended the talk for the literature course that they offered. It was too matter-of-factly, which came across as being patronising. He didn't really like that at all; it made him feel as if he was below the lecturer more than he would have been in any other university. Sure, there was a power imbalance and his senior was certainly above him, but he didn't feel as if he could make that close connection with the lecturer that many students made with their teachers. He wasn't all too fond of the idea of _not_ being able to talk to the people who were delivering his education, so that one was taken off the list by the time he got back to the village. After all, he would have been a lot more comfortable in the other universities, so there was no point in wasting his time on that one.

Admittedly, it was a tough few weeks for Wonwoo. He had a lot on his plate, and he was expected to make huge decisions on his own with only a few weeks to make them. That in itself was intimidating enough, without him having to worry about everything else in life too. Top-up lessons before university. Social events. Helping out on the farm. Interacting with his parents so that they didn't know what was happening beneath their noses. He knew that his parents didn't really want him to go to university, whether Mingyu paid for it or not. So he had to be incredibly sneaky about absolutely everything. He had to hope that anyone who saw him on the way to the train station kept their mouths shut about it and that his teacher wouldn't mention his skipped classes to them. He had to get the prospectuses sent to the temple, rather than his parents' house, and then kept them there instead of taking them home. At least then, they wouldn't be able to simply stumble upon them.

Saying that, though, the prospectuses were probably the worst part of it. That was another reason why he didn't want his parents to find them.

They went into immense detail about all of the language and literature courses that each university had to offer. Which modules were to be taken, what research projects would take place, what group projects they should expect. They told him about the grading and assessment; about each of the lecturers and their place in the world. They told him about the campus, accommodation, and the lifestyle in the city. That was all daunting in itself; an information overload that left Wonwoo feeling hollow yet full of information. He could feel his sense of self drifting away, but then he also felt as if his head was swelling with all of the information that he was supposed to be taking from the booklets. It was difficult for him to push through, but he made sure to read every one of the prospectuses that he received and made notes on them so that he could effectively compare them and make his final choice.

But then there were the prices, which absolutely crushed his heart. Yes, that was the real test. Could he handle the price of going to university? They were all prestigious places, so they could afford to charge high prices for their education. The average price per trimester was four million won. Times three trimesters per year made it twelve million won. Times four years - which was the average length of a degree - made it forty-eight million won right away. Then there were the living costs. A lot lower, but still quite expensive. An average of around six hundred thousand won per month, including internet and utilities, which made it just over seven million won per year, and almost twenty-nine million won over the four-year degree. That made a grand total of around seventy-seven million won over the course of his degree, which was enough to absolutely crush Wonwoo's heart in his chest.

Of course, Mingyu _had_ offered to pay it for him and Wonwoo tried his hardest to keep that fact in mind as he read through the prospectuses, but he felt right away that he needed to do something to pay into the fund. He didn't want to be freeloading when there were other things to consider too. There was the journey over to the university with all of his belongings; the price of food and drinks when he was off campus, which he would inevitably be at some point in time; the cost of books and the other hidden fees that came alongside studying further education. It wasn't as simple as just paying the seventy-seven million won and being on his way. No, he had so many other things to consider whilst he was away from home, and so he decided that he would come up with a plan to make up the extra money. Getting a part-time job, selling some of the books from his collection, getting rid of some of the old clothes and toys he had. They were little things, but he figured that they would get him a few thousand won to get started.

Perhaps it would give him up to one hundred thousand won if he did what he could to sell things. That would be ideal, he figured, since he hardly needed half of the things he had anymore. He wore the same clothes constantly, and he hardly did anything outside of studying and seeing Mingyu. It meant that other people would be able to get more use out of his belongings, and so it was the best option that he could come up with. So he made a list of everything that he wanted to sell and took it to the library so that he could find out how to get rid of them. A few options came up, including book recycling schemes that paid based on the book's quality, and so he had a starting point to be able to get himself a little bit of cash.

Wonwoo made sure to open up a bank account right away and sold what he could. Then he began to search for places to take up a part-time job. Apparently, though, a lot of the places around the village were unable to hire new staff and give a decent wage. They weren't making enough money to warrant taking on an additional member of staff, so he would have to look outside of the village if he wanted to find a place to work. As disappointing as it was, Wonwoo strangely understood. He understood that they didn't want to be dragged under by another member of staff and was thankful that they weren't prepared to pay him pennies for his help. But it wasn't all that useful for him. He didn't know where the nearest town with a good economy was, and that meant that he had to research it in order to get a sense of where he _could_ get a job. The research was necessary, of course, but it wasn't ideal and it felt as if it was wasting more precious time that he could have been spending on better things.

Without many complaints at all, though, he began to look at maps on the library computer. He searched for the nearby towns and cities, then searched online to see if their financial situation was as bad as the one in his own village. As it was, many of the smaller villages were experiencing the same crisis that they were experiencing, whilst the cities were too far away for him to be able to get a job there. It was a huge disappointment to start with, with Wonwoo quickly starting to feel a sense of defeat as the search brought up the same information again and again. Until he eventually ended up stumbling upon a part of the map that he hadn't really seen before. Perhaps he hadn't been looking closely enough, or he had always assumed that there was nothing over there, but he was faced with an image of another village. Around thirty or forty buildings all clustered around a central point. A number of the buildings were shops, which he was happy to see, and it even appeared as if there were people living inside of the shops that they were running - either in the back, or upstairs.

It was surrounded by a forest. A huge forest that took as long as thirty minutes to walk through, according to Wonwoo's map. And that was if he was to walk straight through the trees. It wasn't likely that he would be able to follow that path, he determined. Trees didn't simply part so that humans could walk between them in one set path. No, it would probably be a winding forest, and he would have to try to make sure that he was still going in the right direction the entire time. Nevertheless, Wonwoo figured that it would be good to simply check in the village and see whether they had a few jobs available. The forest didn't scare him at all, despite his dreams about the forest and the wolf-like creatures. That was just a dream and those creatures didn't exist in real life. Besides, walking for an hour and twenty minutes wasn't a big deal at all when his father would walk for three or four hours to get to the city to see the veterinarians.

So he planned out his route and picked a day to go there. He could feel the nervousness rising in his chest as he started on the fifteen-minute walk towards the edge of the forest. He began on his way towards the temple and continued to work his way up the hill, seeing as that was the only way to get there. Their village was, quite unfortunately, in an area with a number of steep inclines, so he either had to walk up the hill as it was, or walk around it and end up walking up a different hill to reach his destination. Once he reached the top, though, it was easy enough to get back down. A lot quicker and more comfortable for his back and legs. Of course, he could see the forest right away when he was up there. It was quite far away, which was why he hadn't even thought about checking it out before. Well, that and the fact that the temple was supposed to be out of bounds so a forest to the north of the village was certainly going to be restricted, as far as the other residents of the village were concerned. 

He ended up picking up a light jog once he was down the hill. Sure, he wasn't in too much of a rush to get to the other village, but he could feel himself starting to get antsy as he started on his way over there. He wanted to be there right away, and he was also a bit hesitant about walking back when it was dark. For starters, it meant walking through what was going to be a pitch-black forest - seeing as the trees were close enough together to be able to block out the light from the stars - which meant that it would be easy enough to lose his sense of direction on the way home. He wasn't all too fond of being lost in a forest all night, even though he certainly wasn't scared. Then there was the fact that his parents would be concerned about him. He had left the house without telling them where he was going, and that meant that they would start to worry. They knew that he would be fine if he was in the temple with Mingyu, but they weren't too happy with him being out of the house in the dark otherwise - not after what had happened at the party.

Just as he had anticipated, the forest itself was fine. Absolutely beautiful, in fact. The leaves were painted with bright colours; greens and yellows and reds. It looked as if the trees were already preparing themselves for autumn, despite the fact that it was still only summer. Wonwoo wasn't going to complain either way, though. He thought that it looked absolutely beautiful; that the assortment of colours really gave the place a vibrant edge. Admittedly, it was a bit off-putting that there was so much mud around the place, but he supposed that it was only natural when the trees were blocking out most of the light. The grass wouldn't be able to grow that much under those conditions, and so there was only really going to be mud and dirt with the occasional patch of grass.

It was weird, though. The forest seemed to be familiar in ways, but not in others. It wasn't quite like his dream, which involved him being in the middle of a path with the trees engulfing him from both sides, but it was a similar forest. Saying that, though, Wonwoo figured that most forests probably looked the same. There were only a few ways that a forest could look, especially when he had only seen the one in his dream when it was dark. There were no particular distinguishing features that would tell him that it was the same one and besides, how would he be able to dream about something that he had never seen before in his life? It didn't make any sense at all, and so he pushed it to the back of his mind as he continued to jog through the forest. The livelihood of the place - the birds and the bugs and the sound of the wind sweeping through fresh leaves - kept him feeling safe as he continued to run straight ahead.

That was, until he reached a path. As much as he wasn't scared, his stomach still churned as soon as he saw it. It had a certain way of making him feel as if he should run faster; as if he was about to be chased. He knew that it was irrational, but it didn't stop the thought from swimming through his mind. Of course, he tried his hardest to keep going despite that. He would simply keep his ears open and would be aware of everything that was surrounding him. He would walk as quickly as he could - seeing as he wasn't fit enough to run through the entire forest - and would sometimes turn his head so that he could reassure himself that nothing was following him. Even if he didn't check, though, he guessed that he would be okay. It was an irrational fear to have when those sorts of animals from his dream didn't exist, and besides, he would be able to hear it if something was chasing him. If he could hear his own footsteps on the ground when he was walking, running would be near impossible to hide.

Nevertheless, he could feel himself getting worked up more and more as he walked along the path. In the end, he gave in and started jogging again, figuring that it would not only make him feel that little bit better about being in the forest, but would also help to calm his anxiety down. It was something that he had read about a while ago, but he wasn't really the athletic type so he hadn't tried it out for himself. Bit by bit, he continued working his way through the forest, keeping his ears out for any movement. Occasionally, a small animal would run through the trees and startle him, but it was something that Wonwoo quickly learnt to ignore. After all, the end of the forest was gradually starting to come into view, and so he needed to keep pushing through. If something _was_ to catch him, he was sure that he could shout loud enough for someone to know that he was there and even if he did end up getting injured, his chances of survival were probably a lot higher than they would have been in the dream.

And so, with perseverance, he eventually managed to reach the end of the forest. He gave one last check behind himself to make sure that he wasn't being followed, and then moved out of the way of the clearing so that he could feel a lot more comfortable about gazing upon the village in front of him.

The village that looked like the one from his dream, except with more buildings. It had the stone buildings and the little chimneys pumping out smog. There was a town square in the centre, which was packed tightly with flowers of all different colours. The buildings at the front of the village were all facing the village square, whereas the ones at the back were facing in no set direction. There was also a farm at the back of the village, he mused, a bit like their own. They had cows and sheep grazing, a few chicken coops, and a stable. That made Wonwoo feel a little bit more confident with his decision to go to the village. Perhaps the farmer would have a job available; it was something that he knew he could do and at least that way, he would be able to earn a few thousand won here and there.

There were also a few people out in the village, from what he could see. It was far from what he was used to in his own village. People there would stay in their homes or shops of the most part, and there would only ever be two or three people outside at any one time. At least when he walked into this village, he knew he wouldn't feel that uncomfortable sensation of isolation as people did when they visited his village.

Wonwoo took one more check around himself to make sure that nothing had snuck up on him before he could start on his descent down the hill. There was nothing behind him, thankfully, but as he turned back around to face the village again, something caught his eye. An off-white colour, poking out from underneath a pile of dirt and leaves. His curiosity quickly took over, and he found himself going over right away. He knelt down next to it, then proceeded to brush the debris away from whatever it was.

It only took him a minute to realise exactly what it was. And when he realised, Wonwoo could feel bile building in the pit of his stomach; a telltale sign that he was about to be sick. He wanted nothing more than to run, but his legs wouldn't let him move. They kept him perfectly still right there, leaving him completely powerless.

From what he could tell, it appeared to be human remains. A pile of human bones, complete with a cracked skull, piled underneath the tree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot is thickening, and we're around halfway through!! Thank you for reading!! <3


	14. Chapter 14

As much as Wonwoo had wanted to get a job in the village, he couldn't bring himself to go any further when he saw the skeleton under the trees. It had been in almost the same place that he had been in when he was killed in his dream and whilst it was likely to be merely a coincidence, he couldn't shake the thoughts of it from his head. If he had to go through that forest every day, knowing that there was a person's remains where he dreamt up being killed, he wouldn't be able to handle it for too long. Especially seeing as there would be occasions in which he would have to go home in the dark. It was all fine during summer, but if he had to work during winter - in the lead-up to university starting - there was no chance for him. The thought of it left him shivering with discomfort. In the end, he simply turned around and went home.

He managed to hold it together surprisingly well until he got back to the temple. At that point, he ended up having an emotional meltdown. He wasn't really the sort of person to cry, especially not over the fact that he had seen a dry skeleton that had clearly been there for quite some time, but it just came out. Wonwoo tried his hardest to stop it from happening because he knew from experience that he was an ugly crier. His lower lip would collapse as it was forced up against his upper lip, and the tears that left his eyes would separate into four or five channels down his cheeks, leaving him with glistening streaks all the way to his chin. He always looked angry when he cried, too. Between his half-lidded eyes and the creases in his forehead, a lot of people who had seen him upset pointed out that he didn't look sad at all. It made it unnerving, they told him.

Wonwoo cared about that a lot. He knew that he shouldn't care about it, but it meant that he often hid if he needed to cry. He felt humiliated if it ever happened in front of another person. He much less wanted Mingyu to see it too, seeing as he was so self-conscious about it, but he knew that Mingyu was probably watching him already. So he ended up giving in and letting it all out in deep, crackling bursts. Only then did Mingyu finally emerge from the shadows and sit next to him, without saying a single word. His embrace pulled Wonwoo closer and even though it felt unnatural to be feeling the usual wispy sensation surrounding him when he felt upset - rather than a solid human - Wonwoo felt strangely comforted by it.

He spent some time calming down in silence. Mingyu wasn't prepared to ask him questions when he was letting it all out, and Wonwoo wasn't prepared to answer even if he _did_ ask them. They stayed like that for a good ten or fifteen minutes until Wonwoo's tears grew silent, and then for a little bit longer until his tears ceased to fall. At that point, Mingyu allowed him to move into his lap and pulled him into a warm embrace; one that would make him feel safe and loved, as if nothing could touch him. And admittedly, it did help Wonwoo to feel a bit better. He could let out the last little bits of emotion until his soul ran dry, and then Mingyu wiped the remaining tearstains from his cheeks before pressing a kiss to his forehead. Everything in the sequence was gentle and took into consideration how fragile Wonwoo was probably feeling, from Mingyu's perspective. Wonwoo liked that a lot.

Eventually, though, he had to ask the questions relating to the situation that he was in. He looked up at his boyfriend and gazed upon the dark face that was so close to his own. The face that he didn't remember when they were apart, but the one that gave him comfort when they were together. He loved Mingyu's face, even when it was light. The darkness provided a mystery that could make anyone look attractive, he decided, but it was something new when they were in the light. Wonwoo finally let out a deep sigh before reaching up a hand to touch Mingyu's cheek, and then finally began with his questions.

"Did you see what I found?" Mingyu gave a silent little nod. "Is that the place I've been dreaming about for the past few months?"  
"I, uh... I can't tell you that information," Mingyu admitted. It was clear that he wanted to say whether it was true or not, but he was bound by whatever rules he was given by the other gods. Wonwoo resisted the urge to roll his eyes.  
"Okay, so I'm going to take that as a 'yes'. Usually you would tell me if I was wrong about these sorts of things. Like when you said that I wasn't reincarnated because only gods can be reincarnated." Mingyu's gaze shifted. That was that. Wonwoo felt strangely achieved by the fact that he had managed to crack the code, and so he decided to take advantage of that as much as possible. "Did I dream that I was the person whose remains I found?"

"Do you know who that person is?" Mingyu asked without hesitation. There was a little hint of something in his tone, but Wonwoo couldn't quite put his finger on what it was. For a second, he considered that it might be excitement, but then it didn't quite make sense in the context. Or perhaps it _was_ excitement, for some reason. Wonwoo didn't care to find out in case it gave him information that he didn't really want to know.  
"I don't think I know who this person is, no. Unless it was me. They looked like my feet and my hands, and I think I would notice if there was a difference in body parts that I see on a daily basis. Although I was wearing a nightdress or oversized shirt or something. I can't remember exactly what it was, but it's not something that I own so perhaps it wasn't me."

Moving on. "Can you hint to me why you're not allowed to tell me a lot of things? There are a lot of things in the books about you, but there are still huge gaps that haven't been filled throughout history. I would expect that you would have slipped up on at least one occasion, seeing as you've supposedly taken a lover every one hundred and fifty years or something." Mingyu visibly swallowed. Wonwoo realised right away that he was onto something, and so he continued to push it as much as possible. He continued to give evidence to support what he was saying, pointing out that the books were always updated with whatever new information they found out about Mingyu but it was always relatively limited. In fact, there were stories in the village that had been passed down by word of mouth, but they were never written in any of the books so either they were made up, or they weren't in the books for a reason.

"I, um," Mingyu started. He was obviously quite uncomfortable with the topic but Wonwoo wasn't prepared to stop. He was already feeling fragile, and so he needed answers to make his day feel at least a little bit worthwhile.  
"Mingyu, I want you to tell me the truth."  
"We took all of that stuff out, okay? We can't have it in any of the books because people will piece together bits of a legend and make it into something that's either really wrong or really accurate. And the other gods can't have that happening. I can't tell you exactly what we took out and exactly what the significance of this is, but you have to know that we did it for you as much as me." And then, "Ah, fuck. I'm gonna get yelled at for telling you that."

Wonwoo felt bad. He hadn't meant to push it quite to the point where Mingyu felt as if he had been backed into a corner; he had just been hoping for his boyfriend to give him hints about the significance of the information that wasn't in the books. But there he was, having learnt a lot more than he had hoped to find out without the need to piece things together. Not that he was complaining about the extra information. He decided to move onto something that was a little gentler, though, in hopes that it would make it up to Mingyu that he had slipped up again. His hand reached up to touch Mingyu's face again, bringing him back into the moment, and then he gazed up into his boyfriend's eyes as he continued.

"Mingyu is a very modern name, don't you think? It's not the sort of name you would expect from a god who has supposedly been around for thousands of years, hm? From what I've heard, you've been around for at least six thousand years.  
"I'm not that old," Mingyu admitted with a smile. Thankfully, he appeared to relax when he found that the question was easier to answer. "I've been around for about three thousand years, I think. Maybe a bit longer. You lose count when you've been here for as long as I've been here. I think I was created as a god around five or six hundred years before Fei was born. My soul, in one form or another, has been around for slightly longer but that's a story for another time. It's not the sort of thing you usually hear about at school or anything and there's a number of theories about that sort of thing, so it can wait until we have more time."

"What does it mean, then?"  
"It means 'star-like stone'. Bit of an unusual one, isn't it? It's something that they made up by mixing the relevant hanja together and hoping that it wouldn't sound too much like a pet name. Apparently, they used to think that every star in the sky was owned by a different god - that it was their soul contained in a little orb - and that the brightest one that could be seen from any village or city was the one owned by the god who looked after them. In fact, I was surprised to find out a few hundred years ago that that sort of thing is not only common in our village, but also in other villages too. Strange, isn't it? They had no communication with each other, but that's what they all thought."  
"Is it true?"

"Stars are little balls of gas, and most of the ones you see today already died years ago. So if they were to represent gods, that would mean..." He hesitated for a minute, his smile fading. "Well, it's pretty accurate in that sense, I suppose. A lot of the gods aren't around anymore. Did dumb things, got too attached to ridiculous things. I don't think it's best to go into the ins and outs of that, but I guess to an extent, their theories about the stars could be taken further and they'd be pretty logical." At that point, Wonwoo became aware of the gentle pattering of rain on the roof above them. He didn't know what to say, seeing as he understood the implication of the rain. He could try to comfort Mingyu, he supposed, but it was more likely that he would upset him. He didn't know the situation that was causing him to feel down, after all.

So he changed the topic of conversation slightly, opting for something a little bit happier. At least that way, it wouldn't sound as if he was just planning on interrogating him the entire time. "What's your favourite memory of me so far?" he asked. Mingyu glanced down at him for a minute, trying to figure out what the point of the question was, before giving the tiniest little smile. The rain still persisted outside, though, getting somewhat stronger as it did.  
"I think my favourite memory is when you asked me to kiss you for the first time. I wasn't expecting you to ask me to do something like that but I'm really glad that you did because it made my heart flutter when I felt your lips against mine. And it was your first kiss too, so I know that no one else is ever gonna be able to take that from you." He seemed strangely proud of himself and Wonwoo couldn't help but smile as a result of it. He leant up to press a kiss against Mingyu's lips - gently to start with, but gradually including more pressure until he felt comfortable enough to give a little nip to the god's lower lip. 

At that point, Mingyu let out a little noise and dipped in harder to kiss Wonwoo; he gave a deliberate suck to his boyfriend's lower lip and ran his tongue over the flesh whilst it was in his mouth, sensitive and swollen with blood. Wonwoo couldn't help but let out a little noise in response - something between a moan and a grunt of encouragement - before shifting his position on Mingyu's lap. He sat so that they were facing each other properly, with his hands on Mingyu's shoulders and his legs wrapped around the god's waist. Mingyu's hands were on his upper arms, quite respectfully, but it felt pretty odd to be respectful in those circumstances. Wonwoo hadn't quite intended on it going that far that quickly, but now it was a game. A game to get Mingyu's hands to touch him in places that were somewhat _less_ safe for work.

He bit Mingyu's lower lip and sucked in the same way that the god had done, and Mingyu's lips parted right away. And so Wonwoo slipped his tongue forward, groaning when he felt it make contact with Mingyu's. It was just so perfect of a moment that he couldn't help himself. Of course, the kiss itself was sloppier than his was used to, given the mix of saliva and tongues, but it wasn't necessarily a bad thing. After all, Mingyu didn't dribble down his face or anything and the mixing of body fluids was kept pretty minimal. Instead, Mingyu stayed relatively submissive underneath Wonwoo's mouth, allowing him to take full control and dominate the kiss in ways that left them both feeling intoxicated. He gently sucked on the tip of Mingyu's tongue and massaged it with the underside of his own, being careful not to go too far with it.

It felt pretty natural, seeing as the only time he had kissed anyone like that was during his dreams. He didn't really know how to kiss someone so passionately but it had proved not to be anywhere near as difficult as all of the coming-of-age books had suggested that it would be. And whilst usually he would doubt himself if he thought that he was good at something on the first try, Mingyu seemed to be content with the kiss so the worries drifted away pretty quickly. After all, the focus was to enjoy it. Even so, though, Mingyu's hands stayed up around his arms and shoulders, which was quickly getting to Wonwoo. He had already decided that he wanted something more, and he wasn't prepared to let Mingyu get away with being modest in this situation.

He grabbed the god's hands and moved them down to his ass without even breaking the kiss. Mingyu was obviously pretty surprised by the way that he moved them like that - so suddenly but without any reservation - but he kept them right there without moving them back. And kept them right there without moving them _at all,_ Wonwoo noted. So he drew from the kiss slightly to tell him exactly what he wanted. "Mingyu, I put your hands there so you can feel me up." The way he said it left the words radiating with an aura of confidence, which was something that Wonwoo certainly didn't have. Nevertheless, though, he was going to act as if he had some until Mingyu did as he was told. "Did I stutter? Do you not want to touch me?"

It was clear that Mingyu was considering what he wanted to say in response. He didn't know whether what he wanted to say would be taken badly or not. He didn't even know if Mingyu was allowed to do that sort of thing. But he wanted it, and he didn't want to back down now that he had initiated it. Wonwoo could feel anxiety starting to build in his throat when he realised that they were neither kissing nor touching each other, but that anxiety thankfully collapsed when Mingyu's fingers spread around his ass and gave a few long gropes in a row.

Wonwoo moaned softly against his lips and Mingyu continued doing what he was doing. The only natural thing that Wonwoo could do in response was shamefully grind his hips down, enjoying the sensation of being touched. It was awakening something inside of him - something sexual but not desperate - that he had never tapped into before. It was a desire that he had never felt for another person before, and an urge that had never been touched by masturbation. No, this was something different entirely. He could feel it consuming him, leaving his body simultaneously feeling heavy and light all at once. And as much as it didn't make sense, it _did_ make sense at the same time.

He wanted nothing more than to take the last big step that they could take whilst Wonwoo was still living in the village.

Mingyu seemingly sensed that, as his lips soon found their way over to Wonwoo's ear. Instead of whispering, as Wonwoo had expected, he gently took the lobe between his lips and gave a few gentle sucks. His tongue traced the skin where his ear joined his skull, and then he began to press kisses down Wonwoo's neck. It was painfully slow and certainly had the power to drive Wonwoo wild. So he tried his hardest to calm down a little bit whilst staying on the same sort of topic, knowing full well that he wouldn't be able to control his urges otherwise.

"Did you get to see those photos of me naked?" he asked. His voice sounded breathless and was almost unrecognisable, he noted. "I took them especially for you, and I'll be disappointed if you didn't get to see them."  
"They were beautiful," Mingyu said without hesitation. Again, his tone made it sound as if he was going to continue speaking. It was as if he was hoping to add something else about his feelings towards the images, but something was stopping him from continuing. Instead, he resumed the kisses to Wonwoo's neck and held his ass a little bit tighter between his hands. Wonwoo fought back the urge to comment on his restraint.

"Why don't you make something of it?" he asked. Mingyu paused.  
"What are you asking me?"  
"I'm asking you to take my first time."

The room grew silent. Wonwoo couldn't even hear the rain anymore. In fact, the only thing he _did_ end up hearing was the sudden thumping of his heart ringing through his ears. It was as if time had suddenly stopped. Even Mingyu was unmoving - not even the slightest twitch - for a good minute or two, until Wonwoo quietly called his name out.

"Are you sure that we should be doing something like that?" he asked. His voice was quiet, just a touch above silence. It hadn't even surpassed a whisper, Wonwoo noted. It made him nervous, more than anything, and made it seem as if the idea he had presented was a bad one. Perhaps it was something that just didn't happen. Perhaps Mingyu only ever touched people when they were living with him. After all, the books claimed that the god had never explicitly had sex with any of the girls who were carrying his child whilst they were still living in the village. It didn't say anything about the boys, but perhaps it was the case for them too. Maybe it was solely because they were underage at the time, whereas Wonwoo had been insistent on going to university before he joined Mingyu.

Not touched until they were with him. It seemed like an interesting concept. Considering that half of the village ended up sleeping with people before marriage and praying that there would be no accidental pregnancy, it seemed unusual for him to be a complete virgin still when he eventually married Mingyu. Maybe this was different. There was no standard - no desperate need to impress people. There were no standards that told him that he had to be great in bed before he took a life partner. Mingyu was going to end up marrying him whether he was great in bed or awful. Perhaps that was a reason to keep his trousers on until after they had said their vows and become tied for the rest of Wonwoo's life.

"I'd like to do that sort of thing with you, but I respect your decision if you don't want to do that." It wasn't all of the truth, though, Wonwoo had to admit to himself. Just because he respected the decision didn't mean that he would be happy about that, but mentioning it would make it seem as if he was trying to coerce Mingyu into agreeing to it. They both knew that he wouldn't be happy if he didn't get it, after all of the struggles that they had already faced plus the fact that he had been faced with a pretty traumatic experience earlier that day. Whilst Wonwoo wasn't owed anything, he _did_ feel as if it would be a waste if he didn't get to experience the sensation of Mingyu's body mixing with his own that day. Mingyu seemingly appeared to weight everything up from that day, from the things that Wonwoo had spoken to him about to the heavy kissing that they had shared, before continuing.

"I'm worried that it's too early in our relationship to do that sort of thing. You know, a lot of couples still wait until they've been together for at least six or twelve months before they do that sort of thing. And it's with good reason, too; it means that you're not rushing to know each other."  
"If you feel like that, I'm not gonna push it," Wonwoo replied simply as he moved off Mingyu's lap. He didn't really want to have an argument about that sort of thing and besides, he did say that he respected the decision. Even so, he tried his hardest to hide the disappointment that was worming its way onto his face. "I think it's getting pretty late, though, so I'm gonna go home."

"Wait, we're discussing it!" Mingyu exclaimed, but Wonwoo wasn't really prepared to have that sort of chat with him. It just stung a bit too much to spend his time chatting about something like that when Mingyu had seemingly made his mind up. Not because he wanted it so bad that he couldn't take the answer and move on to a different topic, but because he knew that he would look like a sad puppy and Mingyu would give in. He usually gave in when it came to everything else, after all, so it wouldn't be much of a surprise if he did it in that case too. But that was the problem. Wonwoo wasn't prepared to guilt his boyfriend into sleeping with him. If Mingyu wasn't prepared to take that step, he had to do as he said he would by respecting it fully.

"Have you seen the time?" Wonwoo pointed out. "I've been out all day and my mother isn't going to be happy with me if I'm late for dinner again. Besides..." He stopped for a moment, letting his eyes gloss over Mingyu's features. Their eyes met for a second on his way back up, and he couldn't help but smile as he leant in to press a gentle kiss to Mingyu's lips. And then he continued, his voice a lot softer. "Besides, I think I got a bit too worked up when we were kissing, so I need a bit of time to get down from the high of that." With that, he stood and left the temple, making sure to drop a goodbye to the god on the way out.

Wonwoo didn't bother to stop for anything on his way home. He made a beeline straight for his house and then ate his dinner in record time before promptly informing his parents that he was tired and planned on going straight to bed. They wished him a good night without questioning it, thankfully, and so Wonwoo made sure to take a cold shower before going straight to bed. And then he just laid there in the dark, in complete silence. He stayed completely still, keeping his eyes on the ceiling, and watched nothing.

After all, there was nothing else that he _could_ do. He felt so many feelings at once that he was overwhelmed. He could feel his body twitching with the urge to touch himself, as a way of relaxing and getting over the arousal that was still tingling slightly in the pit of his stomach. He felt embarrassed about the fact that he had suggested something so forward, only to be shot down by his boyfriend. He felt a mix of sadness and fear and hurt, but also happiness and excitement over the fact that Mingyu had touched him. He was also proud of the fact that he had gained so much information, even though it didn't get him too much further in his search for the answers. It was a start, though, and that was the most important thing for him. Perhaps there would be an opportunity to expand on that knowledge soon enough. He would just have to wait and then gradually gain each little piece in turn before slotting it all together.

In the end, he gave in to the desire to touch himself. He figured that it was the only option that he had to clear his mind and actually get some sleep. Although he hadn't really intended on going straight to bed, his mind was running laps and the only thing that would probably stop that sort of thing was for him to get some rest. So he let his imagination touch what could have been. He imagined Mingyu agreeing to get physical with him. He would take Wonwoo up to Fei's room and they would be on the bed in an instant. He would crawl on top of Wonwoo before starting to pull his t-shirt up. As his hands ran up Wonwoo's chest, though, his fingers would graze a nipple and Wonwoo would shiver in response.

He bit his lip. The fantasy was relatively vivid, even though he didn't really know how that sort of thing would feel if someone else was doing it for him. He tried it on himself, but it wasn't the same. Just like kissing the back of his hand instead of a real person. He slowly rubbed his nipples between two fingers, making sure to alternate between being rough and gentle, and then allowed his spare hand to creep over the front of his bed trousers. He squeezed slowly, and a moan threatened to escape his throat.

It was a relief to find that he could keep that sort of thing inside, for the most part. He didn't need to worry about his parents catching him if he kept his mouth shut. If they thought he was asleep, they wouldn't bother him, but they would always come into his room to check on him if he was awake. It was just to make sure that nothing was wrong - since he got in the habit of hiding it if he was feeling unwell - but it meant that Wonwoo had almost been caught touching himself on a number of occasions. So he bit his lip, just to ensure that the chances of something slipping out were minimised, before slipping the hand into his trousers.

And then he was asleep.

He didn't know how it happened. He wasn't tired or anything whilst he was touching himself. There was no real reason why he should have been asleep. But he knew that he was. His shirt was covering his body again and his hands were by his side. The room was a bit fuzzier. It was all typical of how everything looked when he had dreams about things happening in his room. 

It took a moment for him to realise the significance of having a dream where he was in his bedroom, curled up in bed. And only then did it happen when he reconsidered what he had read in the books about Mingyu. The god only ever did that sort of thing with people when they were dreaming. Not with their physical body, but with their psychological body. That way, they were safe. Their parents wouldn't find out, for starters. There would be no obvious sign of it in their bedroom - no overwhelming smell of sex lingering in the room and no trace that Mingyu was ever there. It would also protect him from the wrath of the other gods if it was something that he wasn't supposed to do, Wonwoo considered.

As if to confirm the theory that that was happening, a darkness appeared in the corner of the bedroom. The same corner that usually hosted the god when he was visiting. The darkness gradually took a human form, and that human form made its way over to the bed, where it sat next to Wonwoo and gradually revealed itself to be Mingyu. "I was just thinking about something after you left," he said softly. His voice was gentle, suggesting that he wasn't angry or upset with him. Wonwoo was relieved. "You know you said that you went through that forest and you found human remains where you were killed in your dream? Why were you there in the first place?"

Not the sexy opening that Wonwoo was expecting. He sat up and rubbed his face with a hand. "Uh, I was going to try to earn some money for university. You see, I got the list of prices and they were all incredibly expensive, seeing as I'm planning to go to prestigious places and we're not eligible for loans that big. And they don't include anything like train tickets there or food or social activities. So I wanted to get a part-time job and earn a little bit of money, and the nearest village was--"  
"The one from your dream. That was the nearest one." Mingyu let out a pitiful little tut. "Do you not remember what I told you about that?"

Wonwoo stayed silent. He just about resisted the urge to hang his head in shame. He knew exactly what Mingyu was about to say, and he didn't want to hear it from him. "I said that I'd pay for it all. If that includes paying 100,000,000W so that you can have some decent food and go out partying with all of your friends, so be it. I want you to be safe and happy, and running through a forest to get a job in a place you saw in your dreams isn't the sort of thing that will keep you safe."  
"So you _are_ admitting that there are things to fear in that forest?"  
"Stop putting words in my mouth, Wonwoo. I'm trying to be upset with you."

For a second, they were serious, but then they erupted into laughs. Both at the same time. "You're ridiculous," Wonwoo told the god, "Spending that much money on a boy."  
"You're ridiculous for acting as if I'm not gonna pay it all for you. It's a waste of your time to do that sort of thing when you could be spending valuable time with your friends and family."

And then he kissed him. Mingyu kissed him softer than they had done earlier that day, but there was so much love behind it that Wonwoo knew exactly where he was hoping to take it. So Wonwoo gently pulled him down so that he was kneeling on the bed. If he was being honest, he knew exactly why Mingyu was there, and it wasn't just to ask how he happened to stumble upon human remains. It was his attempt at following up what they had discussed just before he left the temple. Mingyu had changed his mind and was ready to take the next steps with him.

That was confirmed moments later when Mingyu went to touch his chest and then stopped himself. "Can I?" he asked. Wonwoo gave a nod. So he pulled Wonwoo's shirt off in one motion, leaving his chest completely bare. His eyes crawled over Wonwoo's skin, showing how much he had been looking forward to seeing it in person, in a context that was more sexual. He then ran a hand over Wonwoo's skin, letting his fingers graze blushed nipples. Just as expected, it felt a lot different to how it did when Wonwoo touched himself. Mingyu's fingers were rougher the second time, squeezing both sides together and slowly massaging them with his thumbs.

At that point, Wonwoo had made up his mind. He was ready and he wanted more. Despite his urges to speed things up, though, the entire process continued moving slowly, but he hardly cared at that point. He just wanted Mingyu to worship him. And that he did. Mingyu made sure to kiss every inch of his skin, taking Wonwoo into his mouth when the time came to do that, and even touching places that made Wonwoo squirm. His fingers found places that had never been touched by human hands, and Wonwoo was left arching up as he felt those fingers pushing him to his limits.

It hurt. There was no avoiding the fact that it hurt. Wonwoo had anticipated that it would feel a lot better than that, considering that it was a dream and it hadn't hurt the last time he dreamt of that sort of thing. Thankfully, though, Mingyu was patient with him the entire time - holding his hands, stroking his cheek, and doing anything he could to make the experience more comfortable. It was a matter of getting used to it a lot of the time, he said, but they could always spend their life just doing it on special occasions if he wanted. But Wonwoo didn't want that. He wanted to make the most of it and enjoy the skin contact as much as possible. He was determined to enjoy it.

They ended up with Mingyu laid against the pillows with Wonwoo leading. It was a little bit easier that way, since he had full control of depth and speed. With Mingyu supporting his body weight, they did what they could to make the experience feel as great as possible for Wonwoo. And admittedly, it did end up feeling a little bit enjoyable, to the point where Wonwoo missed it when it was gone. But his body was tired and Mingyu informed him that going for another round would be pushing it too far too quickly.

They fell asleep together in the end, with Wonwoo's cheek resting against Mingyu's chest. The most comfortable position for new lovers, with plenty of skin contact and the intimacy of being face to face.

And although Mingyu obviously wasn't there when he woke up, Wonwoo could have sworn he could smell the slightest hint of Mingyu's hair on the pillows the following morning.


	15. Chapter 15

Wonwoo would be lying if he said that he didn't regret the sex as soon as he woke up properly.

There was an uncomfortable knot in the pit of his stomach. He knew what he had done, and he knew right away that it was too soon. They had plenty of time to do it but he thought that he was a grown-up already, and it had ultimately left him feeling as if he was obliged to do that sort of thing. As if it was the only option. As if that was what Mingyu needed in order to function. Somewhere inside his stupid brain, he must have thought that the god would have needed it if he had been waiting for so long to get that little taste of heaven, but only when they had done it did Wonwoo consider that Mingyu was happy to wait for him and he should have cherished that. Sex wasn't all that it seemed and it didn't change him to feel more mature. It just made him feel as if he was a child dressing up in his parents' clothes.

He could have denied it. He could have brushed it off as having just been a bad dream, but the evidence was there. A dried stain on his lower stomach, just below his navel, and another one on his chest. The second one was too large for him to pretend that it was his own. It was exactly where he had dreamed it would be too. And if that evidence wasn't enough, there was the fact that he was completely naked. His clothes were tossed carelessly at the side of the bed, as if there was suddenly no use for them anymore. He had told Mingyu that he wanted it and Mingyu delivered. It was something that they couldn't take back, even if he wanted to pretend that it hadn't happened, and meant that he was on a slippery slope into an adult relationship. Now that they had done it once, they were expected to do it again and again. 

The thought of that made Wonwoo feel sick. As much as it terrified him, he knew right away that he needed to tell Mingyu that he couldn't do it again. That he didn't like it and wished that he had preserved his virginity for a few years. They were moving too fast, and the thought of that left his skin crawling like he was being consumed by a thousand little bugs. Hopefully Mingyu would understand that and would wait for him, he thought to himself, or otherwise it would make for an incredibly awkward relationship for the rest of their lives. He knew what he wanted, and Mingyu wouldn't be able to convince him that his feelings for the matter were invalid.

So he got out of bed and made his way over to the shower, where he washed away the evidence of their late night affair. He rubbed slow circles with a body scrub, in hopes that it would make his skin feel clean again, and then washed once more to be sure that it was all gone. And then he scrubbed the rest of his body. Of course, it wasn't as if it felt tainted. He trusted Mingyu's touch. It wasn't as if he had been violated or as if Mingyu had done something cruel to him. He had wanted it because he was sure that it was the right step forward. Wonwoo only had himself to blame for that. But he couldn't stand the thought of thinking about it anymore and that was why all of the evidence had to go.

Then he started on his way to the temple, completely skipping past breakfast. He had finished school so there were no other responsibilities to take care of, unless he wanted to help out on the farm, and so he didn't even feel guilty about taking himself straight over to the temple and sitting down patiently to wait for Mingyu to get there in his own time. As always, it only took a matter of minutes for Mingyu to finally make his way out into the room, at which point Wonwoo stood up. All self-restraint was out of the window right away as he started walking towards the god; he knew that if he didn't say it right away, he wouldn't say it at all. It was how those sorts of things went. It was easy enough to ignore the issue at hand, and a lot tougher to actually accept that sometimes, they needed to talk about that sort of thing.

"Mingyu," he said, bracing himself to continue. "Mingyu, I'm really sorry but I should have listened to you in the first place. I feel like it was a mistake to rush into things as quickly as we did, and I'm sorry for throwing a tantrum when you were only telling me not to rush it because you had my best interests at heart." It all came out at once without even a second to catch his breath. There wasn't even a pause between words. Mingyu blinked a few times, obviously stunned by the fact that Wonwoo had blurted it all out at him before he'd even had the chance to sit down.  
"Are you saying that you regret what we did last night?" he asked, his voice still showing signs of shock.

Wonwoo almost caved. He almost took it back and pretended that it was a joke; that he was saying that to see how Mingyu would react. It took all of his strength not to do that, honestly. Every single little bit of strength to keep it all cooped up inside his chest whilst the regret flowed out in its place. "What I mean to say is that I don't regret doing that with _you_ but I _do_ regret doing it so early when we have our whole lives to do that sort of thing." Mingyu's hands suddenly found his face and Wonwoo considered running. He considered how far it was to the door and how fast Mingyu would catch him, and just how much trouble he would be in if he was to even try it.

"God, I'm so glad you said that." Wonwoo wasn't quite sure whether he had heard that correctly or not. He hadn't been giving his boyfriend his full attention at the time, and so he could have quite easily said anything and Wonwoo wouldn't quite have heard him right. But it sounded as if he said-- "I've been sat up all night feeling really guilty about it, you know. I thought that maybe if you were gonna ask me for that, you'd be like a grown adult. You're older than everyone else I've let live with me, you know. It was the standard in the past. You had to marry young and have kids young. You were expected to have your first kid on the way at fourteen or fifteen. But you're still a baby. You're legally an adult, but you're still a baby as far as I'm concerned. I've been around for so much longer than you, so I should have realised that it was a mistake to do that so soon."

It was as if a weight had been lifted off Wonwoo's chest. He felt his body relaxing right away, and he almost allowed a smile to show in response. He was just so _glad_ that they were on the same page; that Mingyu felt the same way that he felt about the situation. It meant that it was a lot less awkward, for starters, and they could simply brush it under the rug. Which was exactly what Wonwoo proposed when the god had finished speaking. "Well, I suppose that it was just in the form of a dream, so we could always discount that and not try it again until we're living together, if that's okay?" Mingyu gave a shrug.  
"I mean, it's up to you to decide what counts as your first time. If you want a dream to count, that's fine. If it has to include both of us finishing or things being inserted into places or both of us being one hundred percent up for it, then that's fine too. It's social anyway - I don't really care whether you've had your first time or not, so long as you're comfortable."

And then he hugged Wonwoo tight, pulling him close to his chest.

The entire situation felt bizarre to Wonwoo, if he was being absolutely honest with himself. It was as if he and Mingyu had swapped places - he suddenly felt like the childish one in their relationship and Mingyu felt like the level-headed, serious one. It was the first real time where their age gap showed. Of course, they were going to have an age gap in their current state - after all, he was human and Mingyu wasn't, and no amount of ageing could get him anywhere close to Mingyu's age or experience. The matter of the fact, though, was that it inherently came alongside a maturity gap. Mingyu knew a lot of things. He knew that Wonwoo was stubborn and wouldn't accept him simply buying train tickets for him, but he also knew that it was the only real way forward so he would do his best to make Wonwoo accept the things he bought. After all, he could only afford so much and budgeting things like that wasn't possible in such a short frame of time.

He knew that Wonwoo was a child at heart, even though he tried his hardest to seem mature. He knew that he wanted to find his place in the world, that he loved learning something new every day, and he preferred it when he was kissed softly to roughly. But it wasn't as if there was something wrong with Wonwoo for _not_ catching those little things about Mingyu. It came with experience, above all else. Mingyu knew when someone was being humble about something, or when they were lying to him. He knew the ins and outs of human psychology and that was how he was able to know what to do at any given time. Of course, there were still a few exceptions here and there. He was awful at giving Wonwoo space and always needed to show that he was there. He needed constant attention. He needed to tell Wonwoo that he loved him more than was necessary. But that was what gave him character and Wonwoo couldn't really get mad at that.

The one thing that Wonwoo appreciated the most, though, was that Mingyu knew exactly when to change the subject without leaving him with unanswered questions or making it feel forced. That was exactly what he did when they finally sat down. His hand found Wonwoo's, though, just to have that little bit of closeness still. It was an innocent gesture, but it made Wonwoo feel a little bit giddy. If he was doubting that they were moving at the right pace, other than the little incident the night before, this told him that they were right on track and he wanted nothing more than to have that little bit of physical contact with the god. It was something that he wouldn't allow if he was unsure of how he felt. Skin contact was a pretty big thing to Wonwoo.

"So," Mingyu started, "Have you thought about which university you'd like to attend?" Wonwoo nodded right away.  
"I've decided, and it's a firm decision. I'm planning to send my letter to the one in Anam-dong this weekend." Mingyu looked impressed and Wonwoo liked that. He could see a smile gradually creeping onto the god's face as he started to explain his reasoning for picking the most traditional university out of the five that he had visited, and he was glad to find that Mingyu even started asking questions about the place. Had he seen the accommodation? What were the lectures like? Did he speak to the staff whilst he was there? What was the best part? It was a bit like an interview with his boyfriend, except less intense. He could speak about it as if he knew absolutely everything there was to know about the university, and Mingyu lapped it straight up then followed it all up with more questions.

"I'm guessing you've finished looking at them all now then, huh?" Well. The answer should have been obvious, but Wonwoo hesitated for a second. There was one more in mind, admittedly. Not one that he was going to apply for, but one that was important nonetheless. He wanted to check out the campus anyway, just so that he could cast a picture in his mind. A picture that was actually accurate, rather than being how he imagined it would all look.

The fact of the matter was that he hadn't seen his brother in two, almost three, years. Whilst he had promised that he would come home and continue working on the bucket list with Wonwoo, he hadn't even done so much as contact them. He hadn't called the community telephone number, which would ultimately get to them within a day and would allow them to call him back. He didn't send a single letter or postcard. He didn't even bother greeting them with a surprise visit. He had missed Wonwoo's birthdays and they had missed his, solely because he didn't even give an address for the university dorm where he would be living.

Wonwoo had been too busy to notice, for the most part. There was so much on his plate. He would help out on the farm and work hard in his classes so that he would be able to get into university a year later than his peers, a lot more prepared for the stresses and workload of the course. He was having to deal with the fact that he was in a fresh relationship - that he had known Mingyu for just a couple of months but they were already boyfriends and it was a huge life step for him. He had to deal with the reality that he was an adult. He had to uncover the truth about everything with Mingyu for his own reference, and without getting caught out by the other gods. There was just so much that he had to do, and so his brother was never really at the front of his mind. But he was still there. Don't get him wrong, his brother was very much there in his mind. There were times in which he would miss him more than anything in the world, but he simply chose not to show it so that he wouldn't have to deal with the fact that he probably wouldn't see him for an additional four or so years.

"I want to visit my brother's university in Seoul. Just once. I want to see the sorts of things that he sees every day, and I want to know that he's okay. I know that they aren't having an open day but if I ask around for the veterinary course, someone might be able to direct me to his classes and I'll be able to see him very briefly. I know he's probably really busy, but I..."  
"You miss him, huh? I'll get that sorted for you, don't worry. Do you want to visit on a weekday, then? Maybe next week?"  
"Whatever day is cheapest."  
"Give me five minutes."

And then he was gone. Wonwoo was left waiting, just as he always did. He focused his attention on the world around him as he did so. His fingers traced the engraved letters on the bench. First the F, then the E and I in one motion. He traced the plus symbol a few times in a few different ways, taking his time to take in every single dent. Similarly, he took his time with the GYU. He wanted to focus his mind on it. It made him feel that little bit more connected to everything. To Mingyu himself and to his younger self. To the situation that he was in, and the commotion of life and the stresses of university and the fact that being with someone like Mingyu suddenly made him feel like a child, but not in a way that was patronising or weird. The world around him suddenly felt bizarre and he didn't really know whether or not he liked it.

Thankfully, he snapped away from his thoughts before he had too much time to collapse into them. Mingyu had returned and had the tickets in hand. He made his way back over, pressed the tickets into one of Wonwoo's hands and then proceed to grab for his spare one. He held it tightly in his own hand, stroking across the knuckle with his thumb, and then offered up a smile. Wonwoo's heart skipped a beat, although he tried his hardest to mask it by letting his gaze drop to the floor.

"Did you enjoy your time to reflect? Your eyes were closed when I first got back. Did you notice that?" Of course Wonwoo had noticed. There was no way that he _wouldn't_ have noticed that his own eyes were closed. How ridiculous. But he tried his hardest not to be too harsh on Mingyu - after all, he looked as if he was excited by the idea of finding out what Wonwoo was thinking about at the time. It gave them a chance to talk, Wonwoo supposed, and so he simply gave a nod as he forced a genuine-looking smile.  
"I was thinking about this mark on the bench. It's Fei's name next to yours. I was just thinking about that sort of thing and how it puts life into perspective for me, I suppose."

That had Mingyu interested right from the start. He wanted to know more. He wanted to know every single little detail about Wonwoo's thought process and how thinking about Fei made him feel connected. And then he started to bug Wonwoo. He pushed it. And pushed it. Over and over again, until Wonwoo had no choice but to tell him what exactly he was thinking about. So he told him about everything that he could possibly think about whilst they were sat together. Every little detail about his perspective on life and relationships and commitments and exactly why he wanted to pursue a relationship with Mingyu. A lot of it he hadn't actually thought about when he had the time alone, but he just wanted to get it out there and into the open. And that was perfectly fine, it seemed. Mingyu remained attentive the entire time and didn't once make him feel as if his thoughts were invalid, and that was what Wonwoo liked.

They ended up parting after he got it all out, though. Mingyu had insisted that Wonwoo should get something to eat for lunch - after all, he had gone in there to talk to him about a dream and ended up staying for four and a half hours - so they ended up parting for the day and getting on with their own thing. And as much as Wonwoo didn't really want to leave this time, he was more than satisfied with the amount of time that they got to spend together. It had allowed them to really get on each other's level and talk about things that they hadn't necessarily had the time to speak about. In fact, it also included some things that Wonwoo simply wouldn't have spoken to Mingyu about at all in the past; things that he was gradually getting more comfortable with as time progressed.

The rest of the day was spent doing his usual things - helping out on the farm, reading, and the sorts - and the week following that day was just the same. Admittedly, it made the wait feel as if it was taking forever. Although Wonwoo had told his boyfriend that he wanted to travel to the university on the cheapest day, he wished he had asked to visit on Monday in the end. Perhaps it wouldn't have dragged that much that way. Perhaps he wouldn't have ended up having three days of an anxious stomach - in which he was in pain and visiting the bathroom constantly - and would have only had one.

He could think of what could have been all day, though, so he tried his hardest to push it right to the back of his mind. Counting down the hours. Counting down the days. He somehow managed to push through to Wednesday morning, despite having been unable to sleep on Tuesday night, and then made his way to the train station especially early so that he would be able to maximise the amount of time he spent there. It was several hours away, after all, and so leaving at an irregular time would mean that he would be there at a regular time. And if he pretended that he lived relatively close by, it didn't seem as if he was too enthusiastic to be there. Only his brother would know, since he knew how far Wonwoo would have travelled to see him there.

Even though Wonwoo had a clear target before he arrived, however, he couldn't help but distance himself from that when he first arrived. It seemed inappropriate to thrust himself straight into searching for his brother when he had only just stepped foot on campus. So he started to wander around instead. He figured that there was always the chance that they would meet by chance - that his brother would be going to a class or walking around with friends and they would spot each other - but whilst it would have been a great experience for that to happen, it wasn't Wonwoo's aim exactly. No, he was determined to get a sense of how his brother must have felt in the time that he had been studying there.

What would he have felt when he first got there? How would he feel when he realised that he was essentially facing the entire world; that he was a grown adult and he was taking the steps towards his future? Would he be excited or scared? Knowing him, Wonwoo mused, he would have been incredibly excited to start the next chapter of his life. He would have loved making new friends and meeting new people. He would probably be one of the top students in his class. He would be the one who already knew so much about animals, so he could afford to be smug and tell everyone about his experiences. He could afford to be like that because he actually did know better than the rest of them. It gave him an upper-hand and probably meant that all of his lecturers loved him too.

Wonwoo could imagine it perfectly - his brother walking into the campus with his rucksack and suitcase in hand, staring at the huge buildings in front of him. He took in a deep breath, considering whether the air would have smelled the same two years ago, and then started on his way around the place, taking in every sight. He navigated around, taking a look at everything from the gym to the canteen, the accommodation through to the science buildings. And whilst he was there, he tried his hardest to catch a glimpse of his brother. Veterinary medicine was a science, so he would have been doing his lectures in that building. And sure, a lot of students were going to be in class, but there was always a chance that his brother had left temporarily so that he could go to the bathroom or get something from his room. Maybe he had left something and needed to pop out of the room. Wonwoo waited for a few minutes to see if that was the case.

Of course, it was hope more than expectation. He had been hoping that his brother's face would appear on the other side of the glass. But he knew that realistically, it wouldn't be the case. He wouldn't be there, and he probably wouldn't notice Wonwoo outside even if he _did_ have to leave the class for a brief period. It meant that he was quick to give up and continue on his search for new experiences around the campus - either that, or he was worried that waiting there for much longer would leave him even more disappointed when his brother didn't appear. It was hard to tell that sort of thing, especially in the heat of the moment. So he continued walking for at least another half an hour before he saw students starting to leave their classes and made a beeline straight for the science building again.

And there he waited, checking every single face on their way out. Checking every single voice to see if he could recognise his brother's accent amongst the crowd. The vast majority sounded as if they were from the local area, which made their thicker country accent easier to distinguish, but that didn't mean that he was able to hear his brother's voice at all. He kept checking, though; double and triple checking to make sure that he wasn't simply overlooking someone who looked like his brother but had longer or shorter hair, for example.

It reaped no reward. By the time the crowd started to part and fewer students were left filing out of the building, Wonwoo still hadn't found the familiar face in the crowd. He was getting desperate at that point, even though he guessed that there were a number of reasons why he might not have left the building already. He might have been ill and had the day off. He might still be chatting with the teacher in the classroom. He might have even been doing a placement off campus - after all, Wonwoo hadn't had the chance to talk to him, so he didn't even know whether his brother was on site at that point in time. His journey might have ended up being fruitless because he simply didn't check whether his brother was actually around before he arrived.

So he figured that his best bet was to wait for a member of staff to come out instead. They would probably have a greater idea of where he could be. Whilst they might not know him by name or anything, they might have been able to tell him that all second-year veterinary students were on a placement, or that they simply didn't have lectures at that time. It would limit his search a little bit more, he guessed, and it wasn't even too much more of a wait seeing as all of the students were already out of the classrooms. Wonwoo took a seat on the bench nearby so that he didn't seem as if he was ready to pounce on the next person who was leaving the building, but then promptly made his way over when he saw someone who didn't look as if they were in a rush.

"Excuse me," he called out as he swooped in. The member of staff looked over at him immediately. "Is there anyone who teaches the veterinary course that I could talk to for a few minutes, please?"  
"Well, I'm actually one of the lecturers for the course myself. Is there something I can do for you?" Wonwoo took in a sharp breath. He hadn't really expected that he would find one of his brother's lecturers on the first try, but it made everything a thousand times easier. It gave him all of the power to find out what he needed to know without having to explain it to a number of different people until he finally found someone who knew how to help him with his problem.

"I was looking for my older brother. He's on the veterinary course, you see. Jeon Bohyuk. He should be finishing his second year shortly." The lecturer's eyes lit up with recognition, but his reaction was far from the one that Wonwoo expected. Instead of smiling or confirming that he knew his brother, the lecturer looked more uncomfortable than anything. It was as if Wonwoo had raised something that hit a nerve; as if he had mentioned someone who had kicked his cat or something. He watched as the lecturer shuffled from one foot to the other and then promptly let out a long breath that left his cheeks puffing out.  
"Ah, I think we should go inside and sit down for a minute. Maybe I can make you some coffee or something."

Wonwoo didn't understand it at all. There was no reason at all for the lecturer to invite him inside to sit and chat about his brother, as far as he was concerned. He wasn't a parent, after all. If Bohyuk did something wrong, he could take it like an adult and chat outside. It didn't need to be formal or anything; that just made him feel as if he was there to help a teacher to stage an intervention against his brother. It was as if they were going to discuss the suitable punishment for him vandalising something or leaving the campus in the middle of the night. But it wasn't like that at all. His brother was his best friend and so Wonwoo was well aware of the sorts of things that he was capable of doing. Whatever he did whilst he was at university, Wonwoo could guarantee that he had done worse at home.

"I don't think it'll be necessary," he said in response, but the lecturer's expression suddenly hardened as soon as he said it, showing right away that it had been more of a command than an actual question.  
"It's not something that I'm prepared to say where other people might overhear us. We either go to a private room to discuss this, or I send you off with a friendly wave. It's your choice, Mr Jeon."  
"Wonwoo."

The tension after he said his name was immense. It was to the point where he almost considered leaving. After all, the way that the lecturer put it was suggesting that he had probably been suspended from the university or worse, kicked off his course completely. Which might have explained why he hadn't been home - he would be living somewhere in Seoul, trying his hardest to make ends meet, and he would be too embarrassed to face their parents and confess that he had wiped their savings with absolutely nothing to show for it. But then again, he figured that it would be best if he simply got on with it and got it out of the way, seeing as he had already taken up some of the lecturer's time but hadn't found out much else about his brother's whereabouts from the experience.

So he followed him into the building and straight into an empty room, where they sat down at the desk together. The lecturer turned around and started to make coffee using a little machine in the corner, then turned back towards Wonwoo after he had made the first cup. "Drink?"  
"No, thank you." He lifted the mug up and moved it closer.

"Now, I just want to tell you right at the start what the situation with your brother was when he first arrived here. He told us at the start of his time here that he had no permanent address, no family, and no next of kin. He said that he didn't stay with any family members, and he never stayed in one place for too long. We knew that he had someone, since he refused to tell anyone his story and would sometimes slip up, but we figured that it was best not to push it. You know, sometimes people come to university to escape because their parents are cruel to them or they've been neglected throughout their entire life. It can be the step to a new version of themselves, in a way, so we just left it.

"But then the worst happened. No one noticed that he was feeling the workload more than the typical student. He didn't come to talk to us about it, didn't let any of his friends know, nothing. To everyone, he was a bright student who made friends with everyone and always seemed on top of everything. He would make sure to hand in assignments on time and they would always be of the top quality, so we thought that he was doing just fine. After all, you can't just get a top grade like that by guessing the answers, and he always made sure to research everything with such immense detail that he found out about new studies into animal medicines and surgery techniques before some of the lecturers found out about them."

Wonwoo hadn't realised how intensely he had been staring at the lecturer until they made eye contact and he stopped talking. At that point, he retracted as far back as he could manage and cleared his throat to show that he hadn't meant to seem so aggressive as he was listening to the story. "So, what do you mean by 'the worst'? Did he drop out or something?" The lecturer remained silent, seemingly not knowing how to word everything. That much was clear from his facial expression, which suggested a struggle of sorts for a good minute or two before he finally continued.

"I can't think of a good way to say this, so I'm going to say it as it is. It's not fair to sugar-coat something like this, as far as I'm concerned. Unfortunately, Wonwoo, your brother passed away in the first year of his degree. He began taking a lot of risks, which I'm not allowed to discuss with you, but it ultimately resulted in a fatal accident. I'm very sorry to have to tell you this, but I asked for the administration staff to try their best to find some sort of contact information so that they could at least tell the people at home who love and c--"

Wonwoo zoned out for the rest of the speech. He couldn't bring himself to listen anymore. He had started the day feeling confident and ready to go. He had been looking forward to seeing his brother for the first time in years, only to find out that he had been dead for almost two years. Wonwoo's body felt as if it had been beaten to the ground with a baseball bat. He felt heavy and hollow at the same time, as if he could be swallowed by the elements and never be seen again. Every single bit of his body felt ready to crumble at any given moment, and it took all of his strength not to be sick.

Another little piece of Wonwoo died with every single word that left the lecturer's mouth. Every apology and claim that he had tried his hardest to find a solution felt like a sea coming up and engulfing him - drowning him - until those little pieces all faded away into nothingness. He tried his hardest to keep a brave face and act as if he was following the conversation but by the time he finally made his way out of the door, it had all gone past his head. He had been told so many things on where to find his brother's body and who he should contact to discuss it more. There was something about a funeral or memorial in there too, but he hadn't paid enough attention to remember what was said. It wasn't as if he cared, though. What was the point in torturing himself even more by reliving that moment a second time?

His legs dragged his body straight back to the train station and he got straight back on the train to go home. It was fortunate that Mingyu had bought him an open ticket, since he had very much changed his mind about being there and couldn't bear to sit around for hours until he finally lost it. He hoped that once he left, Seoul would be a distant memory and he would never have to think about it again.


	16. Chapter 16

Wonwoo didn't cry once over his brother on his way back home. Trust him, he tried his hardest to let them go, in hopes that it would relieve the growing pressure behind his eyes, but it just didn't happen. He didn't know _why_ but the tears refused to fall, and so he was left having to deal with both the hurt that he had only found out after two years, and the guilt from the fact that he couldn't even _look_ as if he was upset.

It took a huge toll on him. For the entire journey home, he stayed completely still and silent, thinking about what he could have done to make sure that his brother hadn't ever reached that point. Perhaps if he was proactive and researched the university's address, for example, he could have sent a letter to him to make sure that he didn't feel as if he was alone. Maybe he could have scheduled a visit earlier - after all, he was sure that Mingyu would have listened to him if he knew that he was desperate to see his brother - or maybe he could have even walked there. Sure, it would have taken an extraordinarily long time to reach Seoul from their current position in the country, but it was doable. After all, the train journey only lasted for a few hours. In fact, he could have even borrowed someone's bicycle or ridden one of the horses there and it would have gotten him there eventually.

Saying that, though, there was the matter that his brother had claimed to not _have_ family. That bit stung the most, if he was being honest. Wonwoo couldn't think of one good reason for him to do that. What would it have achieved? The students who went to the university were from a variety of backgrounds, so he was hardly going to be teased by other people for coming from an impoverished area. Rather, he was more likely to be commended for it - he was the first person in their family who attended university and he managed to get onto one of the courses that had few placed but such high demand. That would be an achievement, as far as a lot of people were concerned. So Wonwoo figured that it might be something else. 

Maybe he was untrusting with his personal information, seeing as they came from a place with very limited technology, or maybe he was concerned that if he didn't meet the expectations of the university, they would send a letter home. The one thing he was certain of, though, was that his brother wouldn't have done it to be malicious. He loved them, and so it would be incredibly uncharacteristic of someone who loved their family to do that. It was the thing that kept him going - kept him _hoping_ \- as he progressed on his way home and tried his hardest to ignore the floating mental images of his brother's body. That was the deal breaker, and it was the one thing that was certain to cause him to get in a panic. As much as he could say that the tears wouldn't fall, it didn't guarantee that he wouldn't have some other embarrassing experience on the train.

It was a difficult task to drag himself back home. He didn't really know whether it was best to tell his parents about what had happened, or whether it would be best to let someone else tell them. After all, he had exchanged contact details with the lecturer, so he could easily pretend that he knew nothing and ask for him to call his parents instead. It would give him enough time to work on getting emotional over it, rather than being emotionless, and then his parents would see that he was just as distraught as they would be. In addition, they wouldn't have to know that he went to Seoul to see his brother, only to find out that he was no longer there, they wouldn't need to concern themselves with the money that was sitting in his bank account, and they wouldn't have to know that their eldest son pretended that they didn't exist.

But there was something that felt inherently wrong about it. Sure, it would be uncomfortable to have that sort of conversation with them, but surely it would be better for that sort of thing to come from their other son, rather than some complete stranger. And if he was to leave it to the lecturer, it would hardly be fair. It wasn't really his job to call and tell parents that their kid had died over a year ago and they hadn't been informed about it. There were only so many lies that he could tell to cover both Bohyuk and Wonwoo, and that was given that he was down to lie for either of them in the first place. Chances were, he would get into huge trouble with the university if it was found that he had lied about that sort of thing to parents, especially considering how sensitive the matter was.

Wonwoo ended up stalling for a while. He took a walk over towards the temple before deciding that it probably wasn't the right time to go in, seeing as he wasn't ready to talk to Mingyu at all, and so he walked in a loop around it and started on his way around the town. He weaved around different buildings, spent a particularly long time having a look at all of the details on the various shop signs, and then made a mental note of each store's opening times. Of course, they were almost all the same, but it turned into a game for him to remember the ones that were slightly different. The post office opened half an hour before every other shop, for example, whereas the newsagents stayed open until almost midnight. He made sure to keep it all in mind, just in case he ever needed it, and gradually began to worm his way back towards his house once he realised just how much he was stalling to get home.

Considering how late he arrived back home, Wonwoo anticipated that his parents would be worried. Even when they knew that he was in the temple until late, they would still get concerned. It was just a standard parental thing, Wonwoo figured; they knew that the village was safe but the world around them was pretty terrifying, so even going across the village and into an area that was out of bounds for most villagers seemed like a pretty big thing, as far as they were concerned. There was a reason why the temple was somewhat further from the village, and that reason was that it encouraged further exploration of the nearby areas. In the past, it had resulted in a lot of damage, such as encouraging predators to make their way over and attack the livestock, and that was something that they really wanted to avoid.

Wonwoo hadn't really seen what the problem was, though. After all, he had only ever seen one forest nearby - the one north of their village, which he saw in his dreams - and there didn't appear to be any real predators in there. Or so, he thought. He surely would have seen or heard them when he was walking through it, or he would have seen it in the dream. The creepy-looking wolf creatures didn't count. They weren't real and Wonwoo knew that because he researched what he could about them, only to find that there was no such animal. That much relieved him, although he was determined to avoid going into the forest for extended durations of time anyway. Just to make sure.

When he walked through the front door, though, the atmosphere was tense. They weren't concerned about him as he thought. They were angry with him. Wonwoo could tell that much from the way that they stared at him in silence, eyes narrowed until he knew that he had done wrong. He felt his stomach twisting inside his torso, and he immediately had to fight the urge to run. This wasn't any regular sort of angry. This was a furious sort of angry. And it was something that struck fear in Wonwoo like nothing else could. His throat was dry and his palms were sweating, and he wanted nothing more than to disappear. At that point, his mother pointed to the floor in front of her with one finger, almost as if she was summoning a dog, and so Wonwoo quietly made his way over, where he took a seat on the floor.

"Jeon Wonwoo," she started. He could hear that her voice was trembling, which was definitely a bad sign. His stomach knot only tightened. "I can't _believe_ you. Do you know what your father and I found out today?" Wonwoo shook his head, making sure to stay as still as possible otherwise. He kept his eyes up, trying his hardest not to look too scared or ashamed. She would pick up on it and rip him a new asshole immediately. He had enough experience of that reaction to know when it was coming up, and it was something that he really wanted to avoid where possible. "We saw your teacher from school today. We had a bit of a catch-up about everything and she congratulated us for your progress in class. She said that you got the highest mark out of the university entrance paper, and she was incredibly proud of you.

"But then she told us that you've been skipping classes without giving any sort of explanation. That she didn't know how you managed to pass because you weren't actually there to learn. She said that she wasn't allowed to contact us directly, since you're over nineteen and she's not allowed to treat you like a child anymore, but she was incredibly disappointed in you. Incredibly, _incredibly_ disappointed. She thought that you were a great student, but your drive to take part in anything isn't there at _all_ anymore." She then punctuated it by hitting him hard across the head with a pillow. Wonwoo figured that the worst thing he could possibly do was fall over, seeing as it would probably cause her to yell at him more, so he braced himself just in time and took the blow. Apparently, it was the wrong choice because she then proceeded to hit him over and over again with it until he fell backwards.

"Do you understand how much your father and I paid for you to go to these classes, only for you to throw it back in our faces by not going?" She was shrieking at him, which only made things worse. Wonwoo knew right away that there was no way to recover from that. Once she began yelling at him like _that,_ he was treading on eggshells. One wrong move and a fist would meet his cheek. His mother wasn't the most violent person in the world, but she knew how to punish her children in ways that would ensure that they would never repeat the same mistake again. Usually, he would appreciate it because he knew that it was out of love - an attempt to make him into a good, respectable adult - but this time, he wasn't in the mood to be treated like that.

So he stayed silent as she began to yell at him about the cost of sending him for extra classes once he had officially finished his education. They didn't have to do that, she said, but they did it because they felt bad that his brother got to go to university and he didn't have the chance to do that. Of course, that had to be the moment that Wonwoo's tears started to well up in his eyes and he began to let out loud sobs as he pressed his face into his hands. Thinking that it was a sign of guilt, his mother began to hit him with the pillow again, until he begged her to stop and told her that he had news about his brother. He couldn't handle it; being hit and shouted at was probably what caused the tears, rather than his brother being gone, but now his cheeks were stained and his heart was aching, and he figured that it was the only time that he could really tell his parents about both his experiences and intentions.

"I've been visiting universities behind your backs," he told them quietly once he had calmed down enough to get the words out. His lower lip still quivered slightly, but he tried his hardest to stop it from getting so bad that he couldn't speak again. "I want to study literature in university, so Mingyu has been helping me to go to open days. I've applied for one and I'm just waiting for their answer. He's paying for it all for me, and then I'll be joining him when I graduate. But then I went to Bohyuk's university. I wanted to see him because I missed him. But I... he wasn't there."

He couldn't bring himself to say it. Not yet. It was too soon for him to say those words out loud. He knew that they would burn his throat and leave him unable to speak afterwards. And that was the last thing that he needed. He knew that he was going to have to answer questions, and so he had to keep it together. But then again, he couldn't just refrain from continuing with his story now that he had started it. It was the sort of story that needed to be concluded. There were so many reasons why he wouldn't be there, and a lot of them would likely leave him feeling disappointed at the very least. Placements, days out with friends, dropping out. Of course, they wouldn't hurt as much as it hurt to know that his brother wasn't alive at all, but they would still sting a bit. After all, the plan was to go there and spend some time with his brother, so it was always going to be disappointing if he didn't have the chance to see him.

"He died a few months into the first year of his degree." Time slowed instantly. The first thing that Wonwoo noticed was that his voice didn't sound like his own. It sounded as if another person was speaking in his place; making him sound so weak and pathetic. The second thing that he noticed was that his parents' faces dropped instantly. Their angry faces were gone, having been replaced with a look of shock and disbelief. His father's eyes grew sad after just a second, as if he had been anticipating it but had hoped that it wasn't true, whilst his mother's expression suggested that she expected it to be a lie. She expected it to be the case that her son was lying; that he would jump up and tell her that he was joking and he wanted to lighten the mood. Perhaps he would even tell her that he said it so that the attention was away from her anger towards him. But, of course, Wonwoo couldn't say any of that. It was the reality of the situation, after all, and they needed to know the truth.

Then came the accusations. His mother claiming that he was lying to get out of trouble. "If he really died, the university would have contacted us to tell us about it. We are his parents, after all."  
"Not if he told them that he doesn't have any family. They didn't have contact details and couldn't track us down. That's why we weren't told anything about it."  
"And why would he do that? We've given him everything, so there's no _reason_ for him to pretend that we don't exist. See, this is how I know you're lying to me."

It irked him a lot. Wonwoo didn't know what gave her the right to respond in such a way, but he didn't like it at all. In fact, it made him feel quite angry that it was her go-to response when she heard that her son was dead. The worst part, though, was that his father didn't respond at all. It just made things that bit clearer for him, if he was being honest. His mother was the one who did everything. She was the one who argued with him when he did wrong, and the one who knew absolutely everything about him. He told her shortly after he shared his first kiss with Mingyu, and he would have probably told her about his first time too, if she asked about it. They were that close that he felt as if he could talk to her about most things, and he could ask her for advice on things that made him feel uncomfortable or anxious. They had a love-hate relationship, but she was definitely the parent.

His father, on the other hand, was very different. He was as good as absent, for the most part. And sure, he had the farm to worry about, but he was also a parent and needed to keep that in mind. It wasn't up to his mother to do everything, and she shouldn't have had to be the only one to dish out both praise and punishment. In fact, the worst part was that before he disappeared for the night to go to Soonyoung's party, his father probably hadn't been involved in scolding him for years. The last time he remembered was when he was in his early teens, and his father had only punished him because his mother was unwell and it wasn't fair to expect her to do it. That was very representative of his relationship with his father, though. They weren't close because they would only interact if they happened to cross paths at any point in time, be it on the farm or in the house somewhere. They wouldn't go out of their way to talk, and they were gradually drifting apart more and more.

That was why he responded how he did. A mix of negative emotions all smashed into one, and so Wonwoo just let it out without thinking. "Maybe it's because he didn't want anyone to know that he's related to you when you're both awful at this parenting thing. Different rules for your children and different standards. He had to be the one who was punished the most, and also the one with the most expectations held of him. He had to go to university to study veterinary medicine so that he could take over working on this stupid farm. And you know what? I don't blame him for getting to stressed that it tore him apart." By that point in time, the tears had dried into indifference again and Wonwoo could feel a tingle of anger bubbling over the top of the hurt that had dominated him up until that point. It was a disgusting taste in the back of his throat and he couldn't get rid of it.

As expected, his mother wasn't happy with what he said. It was only natural, really. He had insulted her and she didn't like that, understandably enough. She backhanded him so hard that Wonwoo fell to the floor, grasping his cheek. It stung so bad that he could feel the burning sensation spreading across his face, and he knew right away that it would surpass the point of being a red mark, instead becoming a purple bruise right away. Not only had she hit him with her left hand, which meant that he had a diamond-shaped indent in his cheek already, but her knuckles had also collided sharply enough for him to be able to tell them apart individually against his flesh. He couldn't really blame her for it, though. He deserved it and he knew that without even having to argue. It didn't mean that he was going to apologise for it, though. He simply stood and ran for his bedroom, only to be followed there by his mother.

It was a relief that he had a lock on his bedroom door otherwise, he would have been in even bigger trouble. He knew that she would hit him again if she caught him, as she proceeded to scream at him at the top of her lungs. Her fists began to pound so hard on the door that Wonwoo could feel the door shaking. The adrenaline kicked in right away, and he moved the entire chest of drawers in front of the door so that even if the lock did break, she still wouldn't be able to push the door open. It was the perfect plan, he decided, since there wasn't even a way that she would be able to climb over the drawers if she _did_ take an axe to the door or anything. It gave him plenty of time to do what he needed to do and that was all that mattered.

As quickly as he could, Wonwoo stuffed everything that he could find into a bag. Clothes, toiletries, his toothbrush. Anything that would be useful if he was unable to go to shops. He didn't really have any money with him, so it was the only option. By the time he had everything he needed stuffed inside, it was difficult to shut the bag. He still tried to get it in, though, and after just a couple of seconds, he was able to ease the zip up until it had successfully sealed everything inside. It would probably burst later on down the line, he noted, but it was going to be fine until he got to his destination. That destination was somewhere he would never be found, so it didn't matter whether his belongings were scattered around the place.

He went to the window, with the intent of jumping out and running before either of his parents caught him, but then he remembered something. He had brought Fei's diary home with the intent of reading it but had never managed to get around to doing that. Instead, it had just been stuffed under his bed. Despite the shouting from his mother about how she was going to break down the door and strangle him, he rushed back to grab the diary and held it tightly in his hand as he tightened the bag around his arms and waist, then proceeded to jump out of the window. Thankfully, it was a much shorter fall than he had imagined, seeing as their house was relatively small in the first place, but it still knocked the wind out of him for a second. Saying that, though, he didn't really have a second to spend recovering, so he tried his hardest to catch his breath as he started running out past the back of the farm and towards the open meadows.

If he ran that way round, his parents wouldn't notice him fleeing. His room was the only one with windows that faced the back of the house, and so they wouldn't see it if they were unable to get inside. It was a much longer route to the temple, but it provided him with security. It meant that the other people in the village wouldn't be able to report his whereabouts to his parents either, seeing as they wouldn't have any information to give. If he ran around so that he was running near to the forest, he could go up to the temple from the back and no one would be any wiser about his location. Of course, there was always the chance that he had messed up his observations whilst he was mapping that route out - after all, he had only been planning it for a few weeks, just in case he needed to see Mingyu when he was supposed to be doing something else - but Wonwoo was pretty damn certain that it would get him where he needed to be without anyone spotting him, especially in the dark.

As far as he was aware, it worked pretty well. He had made sure to be quiet and besides, he hadn't seen anyone as he was walking, so he could assume that no one saw him either. And even if they did, there was no way that they could tell that it was him. All of the boys in the village looked similar from behind - the same dark hair that was short but not shaved - so it could just as easily have been any one of them. It left him feeling a lot more confident about his decision as he got closer to his destination. In fact, he wasn't even that bothered by the sight of the forest to his left, which he thought would be uncomfortable to look at in the dark. He had simply won, and that was all that mattered to him as he entered the house and made his way up to Fei's bedroom.

"Mingyu," he called out right away as he took a seat on her bed. The bag was dropped to one side and his shoes were put neatly to one side as he waited for the god to arrive. There was silence to start with but seemingly, the desperation in his tone was enough to summon his boyfriend right away. Mingyu seemed curious as he made his way out from the corner of the room, although he didn't seem to be judging whatsoever. "I need you to make it look as if this place hasn't been restored, please. From the stairs down. I can't have anyone coming into the place to find out that I'm upstairs. You know they'll look if they think there's any chance that I could be here."  
"Can you tell me why you're here? I've been busy all day so I've missed pretty much everything."  
"After you've broken the stairs."

Mingyu gave a little sigh of defeat without even needing that much convincing, and then promptly made his way out of the bedroom so that he could sort it out. To start with, there was complete silence. Wonwoo strained his ears, in hopes that he would hear some sort of banging or breaking noise to confirm that the deed was done, but he found that it stayed completely silent outside of the room, even as Mingyu came back in and sat next to Wonwoo. "Okay, tell me what happened. I need to know everything." It wasn't good enough, as far as Wonwoo was concerned, so he went out to check it for himself. As Mingyu had promised, though, the stairs were broken and the kitchen looked similar to how it did when Wonwoo first explored the place, from what he could see. _That_ was enough for him, and so he switched off the hallway light before going back through to where the god was sitting.

And then he spilt the entire story, from beginning to end. Strangely, it wasn't as difficult to admit that his brother had died when he was telling the story - it almost felt as if he was recalling it from a third-person perspective, so it didn't feel as if it had happened to him. Maybe that was the way forward, he decided; as much as he did want to cry over his brother once so that he felt as if he was actually mourning him, he also wanted the chance to be able to say it without getting too emotional too. It was one of those things that he would end up having to tell a lot of people over his lifetime, so he needed to get used to it as quickly as possible.

Mingyu didn't seem all that happy when he heard it all, though. In fact, Wonwoo could see a little bit of anger in his expression. It was unreadable anger - one that didn't point at irritation at one particular thing but rather, gradually appeared the longer Wonwoo explained himself - until eventually, Wonwoo heard the skies growling just outside the window at the end of the speech. It was rather intimidating, to be honest. He could see that Mingyu was bothered by what he had said, but he didn't expect that his boyfriend would get so angry that it would show through the weather. As it seemed, only strong emotions drastically changed the weather in a way that seemed to have come out of the blue, so he figured that it was a pretty big thing.

Well, "figured" in a loose sense of the word. In fact, it was clear. Mingyu's face was dark, his eyes glowing with aggression. His jaw was clenched and his left eyebrow was raised ever so slightly. Wonwoo noted that even his body language made it seem as if he was trying to hold himself back. He considered moving away, but then Mingyu's hand snapped out to grab for his wrist. In an instant, his adrenaline was running again. His eyes flickered between the hand on his wrist and his boyfriend's face until a hand finally came towards him with speed. Naturally, he flinched, only to find that Mingyu was inspecting the bruising on his cheek. In an instant, though, the rage really came out and Wonwoo didn't know what to do with himself at all when he finally saw that side of the god.

"She hit you?" he asked, his voice dangerously low.  
"She didn't mean it to be aggressive, you see, it's a si--"  
"Don't start with this 'sign of love' shit, Wonwoo. She hit you and that's the bottom line." He wasn't prepared to argue, even though Wonwoo was. The true bottom line was that Mingyu couldn't decide what was done out of love in his family and what wasn't. That was something that Wonwoo could determine himself, and it was something that he would argue with Mingyu over until the end of time.

"Listen, Mingyu, she did it because--"  
"No, _you_ listen, Wonwoo." The tone he had adopted was unfamiliar, and Wonwoo didn't really like it. It made him shut up in an instant, and he swore it made him feel more anxious than he had ever been. It was one thing being spoken to like that from a human boyfriend, but being spoken to like that by a god boyfriend was a completely different story. It went right through him and left his core shivering. He notably tried to calm his voice down so that he sounded less aggressive. "When your parent loves you, they don't hit you like that. Especially not with their ring hand. And I don't care whether you think that you were in the wrong. I don't care if you think that you deserved it. No parent should get so angry at their child that they resort to hitting them. I'm not going to let you try to tell me how it is because I know how I feel about it. That's not going to change, and I promise you that. If we ever had children together..."

And then he stopped talking. He took one long, deep breath and let it out in one fluid motion. The anger faded in an instant as the thought found its way into his head. Wonwoo noted how it changed as quickly as heavy rain started; it was something that was so sudden that it caught him off-guard, and suddenly he didn't know what to make of himself. The clench fists were dropped and he looked as if the need to lash out had completely washed over him. It was unusual just how quickly he had changed, but it certainly wasn't unwelcome. Wonwo still waited, though, anticipating Mingyu's return to his irritable state, but it remained hidden well past the surface again, as if he was a completely different person. Weird. "Do you think you'd like to have children in the future?" he asked in a way that suggested it was a temporary tangent. Wonwoo shrugged slightly.  
"I suppose that we _could_ have children if you wanted them. Would you like to have them?" Mingyu nodded frantically.  
"I really like the feeling that comes with having loads of kids around the place. You know that warm feeling where you're a part of something?" Wonwoo hummed in agreement. Mingyu smiled for just a second before switching the conversation back. This time, though, his voice was a lot softer; much like his usual voice.

"If we ever have children together, I want to make sure that we never do anything like that to them. I don't care what the conditions are; I don't want to ever find our children with marks like this on their faces. I swear, if either of us ever does that to our kids, we're gonna have to sort it out. I can't have them being unsafe." At that point, he looked particularly bothered by it and began to stroke it with his thumb as he let out a little tutting noise. He then moved forward so that he could press a gentle kiss to the skin, then gave Wonwoo's other cheek a gentle stroke. "I'm sorry, I realised that I started getting a bit passionate about that and it was making you uncomfortable. I'm just worried about you, especially if you normalise that sort of thing. I'm a strong believer that people shouldn't be hitting their kids at all, but it just makes me feel even worse when people think they deserved it. I can promise you now, you didn't deserve for your parent to get that angry with you that they smack your face."

Then the conversation changed, as if it hadn't been going on in the first place. It was the last that Mingyu would speak about it, seeing as he could see how much of a sensitive topic it was. Wonwoo appreciated that a lot, especially when his boyfriend switched the conversation to tell him that they would have a lot of fun whilst he was staying there. He would do what he could to make sure that Wonwoo was completely happy and healthy, including making him food, and he would happily do that until his boyfriend started university. At that point, he would help him to go to his university city but he would generally give a little bit more space so that Wonwoo would be able to live his life whilst he was studying. That way, it would be a relatively normal experience for him - almost as if Mingyu didn't exist in the first place - and so he would be able to really enjoy himself before they joined each other. It was only a few months, he said, and he was sure that Wonwoo would be able to live in the house without anyone realising for a few months, so long as he made sure to take him food every day.

"I don't think I like all of that plan," Wonwoo admitted after he had heard it all. He watched as Mingyu's face changed to show the confusion that he was obviously experiencing, but that quickly faded once Wonwoo said what he had to say. "I want you to be a part of my university experience. It'll be lonely if I'm there for four years and I don't get to see you." Mingyu instantly beamed ear to ear, although he tried his hardest to tone it down so that he could continue talking. Even so, it proved to be a particularly difficult task, and Wonwoo found that it was hard to hear him through the wide smile.  
"But you'll make a load of friends whilst you're there. I doubt you'll be lonely if I'm not there. Besides, what if you're sharing a room with someone?"

"I love you, though. I'll do anything to make it work." Wonwoo's voice was tiny again, just as it had been right after he cried. It was unsure, making Mingyu aware of the fact that Wonwoo had said the words in the heat of the moment. Even so, it excited him more than he anything else. Considering how angry he had been just minutes beforehand, it was a huge mood swing for him to be there looking as if he had just found out he was getting a new puppy. Perhaps he was looking forward to hearing it after so many years of having to replay the words in his head without an actual real person saying it to him.  
"I guess I can see what I can do for you, then. But it's only because I love you too and I want you to be happy. Just remember that, okay?"


	17. Chapter 17

The biggest issue for Wonwoo was that whilst he knew that Mingyu could provide for him whilst he was away from home, he knew that he would go stir-crazy if he stayed inside the top half of the temple for the next few months. It was the sort of thing that would ultimately lead him to give in and go back to the village, which he certainly didn't want to do. Then again, he didn't really know how he could avoid it. There would probably be people searching for him already, seeing as his parents wouldn't want him disappearing for the rest of his life without the air being cleared, and that meant that leaving the temple would be risky. Of course, he could always climb out of the window in the middle of the night and make a run for the other village, just so that he would be able to see a couple of other people, but it was still incredibly risky.

So he ended up giving up completely, at least to start with. He occupied himself in other ways whilst Mingyu wasn't there with him. He had a look around Fei's room, for starters. Everything was restored again by that point in time, so all he had to do was open the drawers to see what he could find. As he imagined, though, it was the sort of thing that anyone would expect to see in the bedroom of a teenage girl. She had long dresses in her cupboard, paired with matching shoes. She had no underwear, interestingly enough - Wonwoo didn't know enough about that part of history to know whether that was the norm or not, but he figured that any girl who had the power to wear underwear underneath her dress would probably go ahead and do that. It was something that he would research at a later date, he figured. Fei also had a rather large collection of stuffed animals and what appeared to be a stone in the bottom part of her wardrobe. It was hidden under her clothes, as if she was trying to hide it from someone, but he couldn't really tell why it would be there. After all, it was just a stone; nothing special or important.

He then made his way to her parents' bedroom to look around. It was a lot more modern than Fei's room, but that was probably due to the fact that her parents continued living in the village after she was taken by Mingyu. They had plenty of time to make their house look more modern and besides, it made the room a lot more functional. For older adults who struggled to get to the floor, it only made sense to have their bed a little bit higher off the ground, and it was probably a lot sturdier to have cupboards made of thicker cuts of wood. Wonwoo certainly saw the appeal of the room, although he had to admit that it made Fei's family look pretty damn wealthy. The bedroom looked a lot fancier than his own parents' bedroom, he noted. Whilst they weren't really a great point of reference for wealth, they were still concerned about making their house look modern on a budget, so it was strange to see how different the quality was between the rooms that he was used to seeing and the ones that he was seeing whilst he was in Fei's house.

Next, he decided that it was time to finally get onto the diary. It was something that he had been meaning to do for quite some time, but something that he could never find the time to do. It was important, though. Something that he definitely needed to do soon. He didn't really know why he was drawn to it so much, but he knew right away that there was something he hadn't looked at in the journal. It was an unusual feeling, seeing as he had read skimmed through the entries and all, but he couldn't deny the feeling that was insisting on reading again. So he took a seat on the bed with his legs tucked underneath his body, and then promptly started reading.

_"Dear Diary,_

_I've just woken from the weirdest dream. I dreamt that I was in the temple late at night and the god Min Gyu came out to chat with me. I told him that I was trying my hardest to meet all of his expectations, but he told me that he didn't really care for the things that the people of the village said he cared about. He didn't care whether I was a virgin before marriage or whether I went to pray to him every day. He didn't care what sort of clothes I wore or about my choice of words. He just said that he loved me for who I am and asked that I take care of myself._

_Then I woke up and I was in the temple, sitting in the exact spot that I had been in during my dream. I don't know what happened or how I got there, but I'm wary. Perhaps it wasn't a dream at all. Perhaps it was a vision."_

That was a relatively basic one. As were a lot of the entries that followed it. That was the thing; whilst he could sit there and read all of the entries to find out the information that he didn't know he needed, it seemed like a bit of a pointless task when the entries mostly looked like that. Nevertheless, Wonwoo had time to spare. He continued reading through every last page - through the details of her first period and the fact she was getting the urge to kiss boys - until he eventually stumbled upon something that raised some interest. Strangely, though, the interest wasn't sparked by the content itself; rather, the _lack_ of it. Half of the words were scratched out. The paper was coming away, suggesting that it had been done with some force, and there were some creases in the paper. It certainly wasn't there before, he noted; maybe the journal had lost some of its pages which had been restored when Mingyu was fixing the room up.

_"Dear Diary,_

_Mingyu told me about m##### today and I don't know what to make of it. He said that we wer####### in ##########and that he wanted to give me the world. There was a ###############, which made our love impossible. And on top of that, I##########he wasn't supposed to take me away. ##### was - and still is - illegal in Korea but he was hoping that we co##################. We were going to go to a ########## where we would m############### and then have a litt##########gether. My ###### found out, though, so he ####### me and took me out to the #############, then #############re. I woke up, only to find that there we############# to get me. Min Gyu realised that I wasn't going to b###########en he saw my #####coming#######so he waited until it was clear for him to go then ran in there to find me. When he finally came across m#####, though, they had alre#################s started on hi######t he didn't care because I was alrea######._

_He couldn't tell me anything more about it because the other gods were already on his case, but he begged that I kept it in my mind that he was always mine. I don't know what to make of that information, but I'm feeling incredibly scared just thinking about it. I think he's being punished for what he said."_

Wonwoo could make some of it out, but the majority was distorted to the point where it was unreadable. Some of the words looked halfway between two words, and a good portion was scratched out so badly that it distorted the other words around it. That annoyed Wonwoo more than he could possibly describe. He needed to know what was written and how he should approach the situation that Fei was describing in a way that was so matter-of-factly, and he knew deep down that whatever it was, it was important. He would bring it up with Mingyu later, he figured, and so he moved on to the next scratched-out entry. As expected, it was even more distorted and so he was left with more questions than answers after reading it:

_"Diary,_

_I'm frightened. Min Gyu told me that he'####### were both #####but because the gods saw him as being my ##############################was forced to become a ############## is still wandering around, though, and###################################whenever I die. Up until now, he has been observing me from a ########## my v###########ve in this time. I'm curren###########by and I have to be ##################################################################################### so that we can be set free._  
It's because Min Gyu has t#e#######s, and so he has to####################me he gets a new partner. The other gods to###########her hand, need to ##############################y first time with him so I have to exp##############################olutely terrified for both of us, but I know that it's for the best. It's the only way that Min Gyu and I can b################ need him right now. Our baby needs him."

If he squinted enough, he could tell a few words here and there. He got a little bit about Fei's baby and a bit about Fei being scared, but that was about it. The rest looked as if it had been destroyed by whoever happened to find it first. Wonwoo was certain that it wouldn't have been Fei herself - otherwise she would have simply disposed of the pages instead of scratching out the words. Instead, he had a theory that it was destroyed by one of the other gods. Of course, he would struggle to prove that sort of thing but he decided that it would definitely be worth talking to Mingyu about it. After all, his boyfriend was always so quick to cave under the pressure of knowing things that Wonwoo didn't know, so it would be easy enough to get that information out of him.

It was interesting, though. There was a pretty big gradient as the journal progressed. The ones in the middle and around three quarters of the way through were all distorted to some degree, but the ones on either side were perfectly fine. He figured out pretty quickly that Fei might have put too much information into certain entries and that was why it was scratched out. Or at least, that was the only thing he could think of to describe what he saw. It just seemed as if every time she started to talk about things that Mingyu was telling her, the pages would end up looking as if they had been attacked by an angry animal. If it had happened maybe once or twice, he might have thought that it was an accident, but this had happened far too many times for that to be the case. No, this was completely intentional.

Once he had finished, he ended up spending a while just sitting on the bed as he thought it through. Without all of the information that he needed, there was only so much thinking that he could realistically do, but that didn't meant that he wouldn't do it anyway. He came up with a few different ideas for what Fei might have been talking about in her diary - using key words phrases like "illegal in Korea" and "our baby needs him" - but a lot of them seemed to be too out there to be accurate. After all, he was certain that Mingyu wouldn't have been involved in a huge scandal, in which he was having affairs or already seeing someone before he got with Fei, but then again, he couldn't really be certain about that sort of thing either. It was just something that he would have to ask the god when he saw him again.

Speaking of which, he soon realised that he was starting to get a bit hungry. Mingyu had forgotten to take him something to eat, which meant that either he needed to disturb him or start foraging. And frankly, Wonwoo wasn't in the mood to start foraging just yet. He knew that there would still be a hunt for him at that point in time, so the last thing he really needed was to go outside and be mobbed by whichever villager happened to be in his parents' watch team. That irritated him, honestly. He didn't like the fact that he wasn't self-sufficient, and he hated the fact that Mingyu was essentially forcing him to rely upon him. Of course, it wasn't really Mingyu's fault or anything and it certainly didn't affect how he felt about him on a more general basis, but Wonwoo knew right away that it would start to affect their relationship quite dramatically within a week or two. Well, if he didn't ruin things with his questions before that.

"Mingyu," he called out into the empty house. "Are you forgetting that mortal humans need things to fuel their bodies? I can't survive on masturbation alone, unlike you." It was a bit of a harsh joke but thankfully, Mingyu seemed to find it funny as he came out from his usual dark patch on the wall with a sandwich for his boyfriend.  
"I actually forgot that you need to eat sometimes," he admitted with a sheepish smile, "I'm sorry about that. I know it's not that much for you to eat but I'm cooking something really delicious for dinner and we can eat it together. And you know that I'm giving you this sandwich because it was made with love and I love you a lot." Wonwoo couldn't help but smile back as he took the sandwich and ate it. Mingyu simply sat on the floor next to him and gazed lovingly until the food was finished and Wonwoo scrunched the cling film into a ball.

"I noticed you reading Fei's diary again," he said softly after a while. The way he said it didn't sound particularly demanding or harsh, and it was clear that he was simply making an observation, rather than accusing Wonwoo of anything. Wonwoo just stared in silence, though, waiting expectantly for his boyfriend to comment on it. The silence was slightly heavier than usual between them as Mingyu continued to gaze at him, and then he eventually gave a soft little sigh before continuing in the same gentle voice. "Did you find anything interesting in there? Did she talk about our first baby or anything? I remember that she was so excited for our daughter to come along. She would always go to the village's seamstress to have a look at baby clothes and would make sure that I was watching so that we could discuss the things she found together. It was always so nice, even though she refused the money I gave her to pay for it all."

In theory, it would be easy enough to start an argument that would lead to Mingyu breaking down and telling him everything. Wonwoo had enough evidence to debunk everything that his boyfriend said if he tried to lie, even though that evidence was relatively limited. He knew that it would only take a few attempts to show that he knew more than Mingyu imagined, and so it would be a simple task for him to get all of the information he needed. But frankly, he wasn't in the mood to start an argument. Mingyu was in a soft and gentle mood and Wonwoo wasn't really prepared to ruin that by bothering him with it all. Instead, his plan was to gradually learn little bits of information as he went along by hinting what he knew. Perhaps his boyfriend would get the hint that he knew more than he anticipated, and that would mean that he would be more inclined to share information that he thought Wonwoo already knew.

So he gave a little smile and a nod and reached over to stroke his boyfriend's hand. Mingyu's eyes fluttered closed once they made contact, and that was where they stayed as they continued with their conversation. "She did mention your baby a few times, but she didn't say much about the pregnancy or anything," he said, and Mingyu immediately gave a hum of acknowledgement.  
"I think she was really nervous. You know, there weren't any ultrasound scans or anything back then and even if there were, no one in this village would be able to afford such a luxury. And a lot of the time, young mothers would die during childbirth, or the baby would die within the first few years of their life. So she was always telling me about all of these herbal things that she was trying to keep herself healthy. I always told her that our daughter would be perfect, though, and she turned out absolutely fine in the end. Grew up well and looked after her younger siblings."

There was a twinge of something in Mingyu's tone. It flattened slightly as he finished what he was saying. It was hard to describe, but Wonwoo just about caught it. That something was a lot different to how he expected it to be when Mingyu was talking about his family. It seemed as if he loved them a lot, so there was no reason why he should sound so empty as he finished what he was saying. Sure, he had mentioned that his children had all died within a few years of their other parent, but his voice still never seemed to turn like that when they discussed them. Nevertheless, he figured that it would be rude to hone in on that, just in case it was a matter of their first daughter being the first child he saw dying or something.

"How many children have you had, then?" Mingyu's eyes snapped open again as he tried to come up with an answer, but his mouth quickly twitched towards a frown as he tried to come up with a number. Then he started counting out on his fingers and Wonwoo quickly realised that he had set him a bit of a difficult task.  
"Well, you're my fifteenth, so that's fourteen other people I had kids with in the past, but then when I think about it, I don't really remember how many I had with each individual person. It was definitely around thirteen kids with Fei, and I know that I had the least with Ilsung because he only wanted a small family - we settled for two in the end, even though I wanted more. So I think the total is probably about, um... Just over one hundred, maybe?"

Wonwoo's jaw dropped in response. He hadn't really anticipated that his boyfriend would give such a large number, but he suddenly felt intimidated and didn't know what to do with himself. Suddenly, he felt like even more of a child than losing his virginity made him feel, and that was saying something. It simply highlighted the difference between them right there and then. Mingyu was a very family-orientated person who had taken a huge number of romantic partners in his lifetime - which was understandable, considering that he had been around for quite some time and that generally meant that he would have the opportunity to surround himself with beautiful children - but Wonwoo was far from that. He was hiding out in the house of Mingyu's first wife so that he didn't have to deal with his own family. He had no brother anymore - which he was forcing himself to come to terms with as quickly as possible - and he didn't really have any friends to turn to either. 

On top of that, it just made the age gap between them seem even larger. "You have to remember that all of my husbands and wives have lived into their eighties at the very least," Mingyu pointed out, "So we just continued having children as long as we both wanted to continue and their bodies could handle it. Or for as long as our surrogates wanted to help us out. We _did_ want all of our kids to have the same genetics, you know, even if it wasn't mine or theirs specifically." As much as he should have expected that sort of comment, it made him feel like a child. He was dating a guy who not only had a huge amount of life experience, but was also over a hundred times older than he was. It meant that Wonwoo could never really compare to Mingyu, and that was something that really did distress him. Even so, he tried his hardest to make it seem as if he was taking the information better than he actually was by giving a little nod and smiling slightly.

"I can see you having a big family. You seem like the sort of guy who would want nothing more than to be surrounded by so many kids that you always have someone to give you attention when you want it." Mingyu gave a playful push but then immediately broke out into a childish pout.  
"I feel bad because I was one of the only gods who ever had kids so the majority of my kids ended up dying single. Although realistically, they died young anyway so it didn't really matter that much. They weren't going to have fulfilling relationships and it would have just broken someone else's heart to see them dying."

Suddenly, everything made sense to Wonwoo. He didn't know how he managed to piece it together, but he immediately felt his heart sink into his stomach when he realised why Mingyu seemed so awkward when it came to discussing death. Not only was he upset about the fact that his partners were dying at the same rate of normal humans, but he also felt guilty about everything. He felt as if he was the one who had restricted their outcomes in life, and he hated that. It had been mentioned before but he had never really taken note until now. Of course, he was going to continue asking questions but was going to tread carefully this time. The last thing he wanted to do was upset his boyfriend by making him relive memories of his family passing away.

"I'm not trying to undermine you or anything, but surely some of them would have lived until they were quite old. You said that your husbands and wives were over the age of eighty when they passed, but they were getting pregnant at around fifteen or sixteen years old. That would mean that some of them would be in their sixties still, which is a pretty long time." Wonwoo instantly regretted bringing it up. He was trying his hardest to spin an uncomfortable topic into something more positive - as positive as death could be - but Mingyu's face crumbled right away and he tried his hardest to hide his face.  
"I don't like talking about this," he said right away. "You probably think I'm rude for not talking to you about this sort of thing because you're taking the time to choose your words carefully, but it makes me sad every time I think about it."

"Is that why you didn't bring my brother up when I mentioned him?" Admittedly, he hadn't thought before speaking that time. It all came out before he could stop it. Mingyu gave a little nod and let his head hang. Wonwoo could see his boyfriend admitting defeat as he started to tear up, and he tried his hardest to hold it together as he moved closer to hug him. He could feel the tears starting to prickle around his eyes too, though, and he knew that he certainly wouldn't be able to hold on for much longer if they stayed on that topic. He was going to start crying over the fact that his brother wasn't there whilst Mingyu would start crying over his lost children, and it would just be a brief period of them getting it all out into the open. But then Mingyu looked up at him with determined eyes and Wonwoo knew right away that it was going to be addressed without them having the chance to sit and cry for a while.

"Do you want to talk about your brother?" he asked outright. Wonwoo thought about it before shaking his head. He wasn't in the mood to talk about that sort of thing for the moment. He knew that he was never going to get over it, but he wanted to at least have the chance to come to terms with it before he chatted with Mingyu about it. One of them needed to be strong when talking about death, and he was determined to be the one.  
"I'll be ready to talk about him someday, but not now. It's too fresh and so is the reality that my parents didn't believe it when I told them. Besides, I'm sure you watched us doing that bucket list when we were younger, so you'll understand the majority of our relationship from that alone."

Mingyu gave a nod, then took in a deep breath. "If I showed you everything, would you mind? I'll have to wipe your memory whilst you sleep so that I don't get yelled at by the other gods, but I just need to get this out there. And maybe the memory wipe will be unsuccessful and you'll remember bits and be able to piece things together and work it out. The one rule is that you're not allowed to write down what I show you because I'll have to shred it if you try that." So it was probably Mingyu who shredded the pages, Wonwoo figured. It seemed weird to think that he had actually taken it that far, but he figured that if it spared him the punishment, Mingyu would want to take all of the steps necessary. In the end, Wonwoo gave his nod of approval to encourage his boyfriend to continue, even though he didn't really know whether he was going to like the story or not. So Mingyu touched his shoulder and Wonwoo saw a flash.

_Wonwoo was seeing through Mingyu's eyes; he knew that much. He was at a farmer's market in the early days of the village - the ones that were drawn in old books - and he was getting some vegetables. He reached for one and another hand came into his vision. He turned and saw a beautiful girl, and he immediately felt his heart start racing._

_The scene faded into another. An affair between him and the girl. They were in bed together, wearing absolutely nothing. She had the bedsheets tucked delicately around her body. But then she looked outside and realised the time, and so she hurried him out of the bedroom window as soon as he was dressed. They parted with a kiss and Wonwoo crouched around the back of the house, waiting for her husband to enter the house._

_And another. They were chatting about something, but their voices sounded as if they were underwater. Wonwoo strained his ears in an attempt to hear what they were saying, but he couldn't make out a single word. They parted with a kiss, and then the scene changed. He was outside a temple. It was a lot different to Mingyu's temple. This one was a one-story temple with a flat roof, and it could probably only fit around ten people inside at most. But it was in a similar place - right on the hill - and allowed him to see the forest. The forest was a lot bigger than it was in modern times._

_Wonwoo continued to wait for a while before seemingly deciding that it was time to go home. He went to leave but then something caught his eye. A person emerging from the forest. His lover's husband. His stomach lurched as he realised that something was very wrong, but he waited until the man was out of sight before running towards the forest. He had to find her before she was killed. He knew that there were creatures in the forest that would rip her to pieces, but he had to get there first._

_And then he found her. He was staring at her shredded corpse on the floor. The hounds had found her first, and they had attacked with no hesitation. Wonwoo wanted to cry or vomit - he didn't know which one exactly - but then he heard a noise behind him and turned in time to see the hound that attacked him too._

_He became a god. Again, he couldn't hear the conversation with the other faceless gods, but he knew that he was becoming one as punishment for what he did. The only words he caught were "sin", "pregnant with your child" and "shamed the village". Time started to pass. It took a while, but then he was in the temple with Fei._

_She started to look more and more pregnant, until the point where she was about to pop. Which would be fine, if it wasn't for the memory that followed. She was running through a forest at night, cradling her bump. She didn't get too far before hounds took her down. And when she was with Mingyu, she was no longer pregnant. There was no baby either, though; not until Fei looked as if she was nearing her mid- to late-thirties. She had a few grey hairs and crows feet around her eyes, and she had just given birth._

_Then the others started to blast through his mind at full speed. Hou. Na. Sheng. Ji. Lihu. Bok. Chunja. Youngsook. Hwaja. Ilsung. Youngho. Jungnam. Kiwoong. Each in the same position, each being murdered in the forest. They were gradually getting further each time. Youngho made it to the village at the edge of the forest when he was taken down. Jungnam got lost somewhere but was down-wind so they only found him nearer to the end when he was making too much noise. And Kiwoong was taken down with a firearm by a farmer, just as he was about to get to the morning._

_With that, the scene faded into images of Wonwoo going to the temple with his brother, and of him sleeping peacefully in his room. It would be creepy if it wasn't for the fact that Mingyu was always there for him in ways that he didn't notice. He changed Wonwoo out of his school uniform and into pyjamas one night, then tucked him into bed and kissed him on his forehead. He stopped him from spilling the rice at breakfast one day. He chased him to school to put his homework in his backpack one day, and gave his family the money to be able to buy groceries another day. It was a mystical ending to such a dramatic string of memories, but it showed that he was always there, even though Wonwoo had never noticed him._

Wonwoo didn't really know what to say about it when the memories finished playing in his head. He just stared in silence, trying his hardest to come up with a string of words that sounded okay together. In the end, though, he pretty much gave up and let out a gentle sigh as he ran a hand through his hair. "I don't want to forget this," he eventually said, and Mingyu simply gave a hum of acknowledgement.  
"You might not, but I'm going to be punished if you remember it. The whole point is that you're not supposed to know this until you live with me but I just..." He paused for a second, closing his eyes. Mingyu took in a deep breath and let it out as slowly as possible before turning towards Wonwoo. "I guess I just needed to show you because we're both feeling a lot of emotions right now. And I think it's pretty clear now that if you do need to talk to me about your brother, I've had enough experiences with this sort of thing to be able to discuss it properly. It never gets easier, but you learn to cope."

It stung to hear it like that from him. Even though he had said it over and over, Wonwoo couldn't quite get used to hearing his boyfriend saying that. He didn't like the fact that he had experienced that sort of thing so many times but still felt bothered by it, although he figured that it was inevitable that people wouldn't forget that sort of thing. After all, there was something pretty parallel between them. Mingyu's children were only around for a short period in his life, but they would have touched on many parts of his life in the process. Likewise, Wonwoo's brother had been there for his entire life but they had gradually built up to being best friends as time went on, so it hit him pretty hard too.

Wonwoo was being absolutely serious when he said that he didn't want to lose the memories of what they discussed. He even told Mingyu to send the gods down and punish him instead. After all, he didn't want to lose track of the things that had been shared. He would never try to publish that sort of information, even if the other people in the village tried to pay him for every bit of information he had on Mingyu. He just wanted to keep it in his mind for as long as possible so that he could remember where they were as a couple.

But as expected, he woke up the following morning with little memory of the rest of that day. He remembered them talking about his brother briefly, along with mentioning Mingyu's children, but there was a huge gap in his memory before bed. If was as if someone had just turned his brain off at that point in time, and Wonwoo hated it more than anything. In fact, the worst part was that Wonwoo actually knew that Mingyu had wiped that part of his memory from the way that he was acting all weird and suspicious. He was constantly asking weird questions about what they discussed, making it really obvious that he was trying to check whether Wonwoo recalled their conversation. He wasn't sneaky at all, and that absolutely annoyed the hell out of Wonwoo.

Every question he had about that sort of thing was followed by a cryptic answer. Nothing came straight out when he was trying to find out what sorts of things he should have taken from the conversation, and Mingyu didn't even dare talk to him about anything remotely similar for the rest of the day, in hopes that he would give it a bit of a rest. It stayed that way for a lot of the day, actually, until Wonwoo finally noticed a little slip up that was made when they were discussing it all.

"Wait, you can't rely on wiping a human's memory because it's difficult to do that, right? So how did you just wipe my memory like that?" Mingyu visibly panicked. His eyes widened slightly and he took in a deep breath, but then he simply let out a laugh and moved his hands into his lap as he looked directly into Wonwoo's eyes.  
"I didn't say that - I said that some are hard to remove and that's why we don't reincarnate."

Although Wonwoo had to admit that he _had_ remembered what had been said incorrectly - after all, it had been months since they had the discussion about reincarnation - but there was definitely something wrong about what he had said. Had it been the whole truth, he wouldn't have looked as if he was panicking like that. It told Wonwoo that his boyfriend was hiding something, and he needed to find out exactly what that something was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm actually so upset right now because this chapter wasn't posting at all for around 20 minutes. I made the diary entries look amazing, only to have this site prevent me from using the characters I needed. That would have meant that the more tech-savvy readers might have been able to piece things together. But alas, here we are with a hash alternative.
> 
> Catch me screaming into my pillow because it ruined the entire storyline of this chapter and 6000 words is too many to completely rewrite the entire thing when I'm on a massive time limit.


	18. Chapter 18

_"You have to make it to six o'clock tomorrow morning. Good luck."_

Wonwoo was back in the dream again. This time, it was a bit unusual because he felt as if he was falling asleep again once he had actually fallen asleep in real life, but then he was in that damn forest again and decided that he just had to get on with it.

He was sick of the dream by that point. He didn't know why he kept having it or what the significance was, but he knew that there had to be _something_ important about it. That was just the nature of those sorts of things. He knew that it was linked to Mingyu, since he had suggested that he knew about it when they were discussing it, but he didn't know what Mingyu actually knew about it all. That much would stay a surprise for a while longer. Perhaps it was something that he would bring up with the god when he next saw him but for now, he just had to get on with the usual game. He had to survive for as long as possible without the hound-like creatures catching him.

Even though he had experienced it a number of times up until that point, though, he still had no real plan. His failures had come as a result of him not planning, but there was no way that he would have time to plan what he would do in a dream anyway. How would a person do that? Would he need to go into the forest in the daytime so that he knew exactly what he would do? Would it actually work, seeing as the hounds didn't seem to be there outside of those dreams? Probably not he figured, and he wasn't really in the mood to turn it into something. The last thing he really needed was to be sure that the hounds didn't exist in real life, only to have them jump on him when he was running home late at night. So he was going to keep as far away from it as possible until it played some actual significance in his life.

He started out by running to the left side of the path. This time, he was wearing an oversized striped t-shirt and bed shorts, which made it easier to run in, but his feet were easily getting cut on the sharp twigs that littered the ground. He could feel the pain starting to spread up his legs, although he didn't really know what he could do to stop it. Would he end up getting an infection from it? He didn't really know, but there wasn't much time to care. He just continued running until he was hidden behind a huge tree. That tree held no real significance for him but he knew that it was the only place that he could really hide. Not for any particular reason either, though. He just pressed his body against the bark and pressed his hands to either side as he considered what he would do. His breathing was shallow and he was listening carefully for any sounds.

There were a few little crunches nearby and Wonwoo suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to cry. He wasn't usually scared of this sort of thing - especially since he had had the dream so many times - but it somehow managed to terrify him this time. In the end, he just closed his eyes and counted in his head, praying more than anything that luck would be on his side this time. The crunching grew louder as the creature drew closer, then he heard the distinct sound of heavy sniffing. An attempt to see if it could catch his scent on the wind.

Wonwoo was absolutely relieved when he realised that the wind was blowing away from him. Of course, the creature would still catch him if it was to go downhill a little bit more, but he would just have to hope that it would choose not to pursue this lead any further. But it stayed still, sniffing a little bit here and there. Wonwoo's heart stayed in his throat the entire time. In fact, he almost considered starting running even deeper into the forest, in hopes that it wouldn't be able to catch him in time. Of course, it was an unrealistic expectation. The creature would catch him. Its legs were made for chasing at high speeds. It wasn't stupid enough to fall for weaving, from what Wonwoo could tell. It knew how to get its friends over there as quickly as physically possible. The last thing he really needed was for something to go wrong as he tried to run away.

So he remained as still and silent as possible until it finally gave up and started running back towards the path. It was a relief, if he was being completely honest. He almost thought that it wasn't going to leave, since it seemed to determined to catch his scent in the air, but it was probably figuring that he was going to be going back to the path soon enough anyway. Besides, if the wind changed, he would need to go back to the path in order to avoid being caught. It was logical, and that was what terrified him the most about the creatures.

He made sure to check that there was nothing else around him. That there weren't two of the creatures on the other side of the tree and whilst one had gone, the other was still waiting for him. He checked that there were none in the distance, watching to see whether he emerged from the other side of the tree. Those sorts of things would be pretty characteristic of the beasts, since they were so determined to kill him that they would do anything. Thankfully, though, there didn't appear to be any there. He couldn't see them anyway; if they _were_ there, it would be a fair game for them. He tricked them by hiding and they tricked him by hiding too. He couldn't even be angry if they did that.

Either way, though, he was going to have to move pretty soon. If he stayed there for the rest of the night, they would eventually go down to explore and he would be screwed. No, he had to keep moving but try his hardest to make a curve. Perhaps he would start on his way towards his own village this time. He knew that going towards the other village was a huge mistake, especially after he had seen the human remains near the edge of the forest. That could have been him, and that was a thought that genuinely shook him to his core. So he ended up trying his best to orient himself, based on where the path was and where the villages were in relation to each other, and then he promptly started on his way in the right direction. He was certain of that fact alone, even if he wasn't certain of anything else.

It was a gradual process this time, though. Wonwoo made sure to walk, rather than running it. He knew that he was going to end up hurting himself even more if ran through the forest. A quick check on the soles of his feet showed that he had a few shallow cuts, and his blood was probably all over the ground behind him. That could have been the reason why the creature was sniffing, he figured, although it surely should have caught him if it caught the scent of his blood. He was still _there, _after all. Perhaps it was a sign that their sense of smell wasn't all that good at all.__

__Which was weird because he couldn't see any eyes on them when he last had that sort of dream. He remembered that distinctly. They had black holes where their eyes should be, rather than having actual functioning eyes. They shouldn't have been able to see at all. But that would mean, based on science, that their sense of smell would be better. It just made for a few uncomfortable thoughts as he proceeded to walk between the trees. Either he didn't know as much about animals as he thought he did, this wasn't an actual animal and so it wasn't subject to evolutionary expectations, or they were just following him for a while so that they could see what he was doing. And if Wonwoo was being completely honest about it all, he didn't really know which would be worst. All of them had a little something about them that would cause issues. An insult to his knowledge, his stance on realism, or his stealth._ _

__What was he going to do, though? He couldn't really turn back and find that sort of thing out for himself. It would mean that he was over; he would be taken out by one of them and would end up dead pretty quickly. No, he had to keep walking quickly and quietly. So that was just what he did. Eyes down, feet moving one after the other. He could feel the slight burning of cramp coming along pretty damn quickly but he tried his hardest to keep it off his mind. Step step step step step. One-two-one-two-one-two. Nice and easy._ _

__Except it wasn't easy in the slightest._ _

__Wonwoo recalled that he'd tried to make the process a little bit quicker by running. It still felt as if it took him forever since the path through the forest wasn't straight. That meant that it was going to take even longer for him to get there than it had taken when he was running through the forest in reality. Plus it was a dream so it would probably last that little bit longer on top of that. The only good thing was that there was no way at all that it would take him eight hours to get there. He would be able to get there in an hour or two at tops, and then he could just go back to his house to hide for the remaining few hours. That was, unless those creatures were going to follow him to his house so that they could take down the village too. What would he do if they were to destroy the place? Was there anything that he _could_ do? Probably not, but he wasn't going to genuinely go that far if he knew that they were behind him._ _

__And speaking of being behind him, Wonwoo jumped as he heard a sudden scurrying noise. He almost let out a scream but just about managed to catch himself on time. His heart was still in his throat, though, and he only managed to calm down when he actually spotted the rabbit that was running in front of him._ _

__It was a relief, for sure. He didn't really think that rabbits existed around those parts, but this one had proven him wrong. He ended up stopping for a while so that he could watch it doing its thing, and the rabbit seemingly calmed down as it started to hop around in its own time. A little sniff here, a little nibble there, and then it started on its way towards the path. Wonwoo planned to watch it until it was safely out of the way, just so that he didn't scare it into moving faster again, and then continue on his way. It actually started out like that until it reached the path, and then Wonwoo was shocked to see it being snatched straight up between a vice-like jaw, then shaken hard enough to break its neck._ _

__It was one of the hound creatures. It hadn't turned towards him but the ones behind it did. They started on their way towards Wonwoo as soon as he was in sight. He began running as quickly as he could, ignoring the sudden cramp that he was experiencing in his lower calves, and he could physically feel the adrenaline starting to pump its way through his body. It was fighting for him to keep going - fighting for the pain to go away - and continued to do so until he was finally taken down by the leader of the pack._ _

__And then he was floating. He didn't even feel the snap of its jaws around his neck. He was just floating in the water again. Peaceful, tranquil. He felt as if all of the worries of the world had left his body. Even though he knew that he needed to get out of the water, he wanted nothing more than to stay right there. He wanted to be still and solitary for just a while longer. Of course, the voice told him to get out. This time, it was a lot gentler than usual. A lot sweeter. It encouraged him to move towards it, and then promptly engulfed him. He was kissing them harder than he had ever kissed the person behind the voice before. But unlike the last time he had that dream, they didn't try to bed him. Instead, they let out an exasperated sigh._ _

__"I thought you were going to make it this time. I was so sure, but then the rabbit--"  
"Shh, it's fine," Wonwoo said impulsively. He didn't recognise his own voice when it came out of his mouth, but it had to be his because it sounded much different to how it would if someone else was saying it nearby. "I'm with you for the rest of my life and that's what's important right now." The figure kissed him again, much gentler this time. It took a moment for Wonwoo to realise that they were crying; that tears were pooling in the little gaps between their faces as they kissed. When they finally drew apart again, the other person let out a long sigh and reached for his hand.  
"I really thought that you would be mine forever. Maybe next time."_ _

__Wonwoo woke up with a jolt. The dream was still very fresh in his mind, but that wasn't necessarily a good thing. He knew that it held a lot of significance, but he couldn't figure out exactly what it meant. The first thing that came to mind was Mingyu. He didn't know why he felt as if it probably meant more to Mingyu than it did to him - perhaps it was the fact that he seemed so uncomfortable with discussing it last time the topic came up in conversation - but Wonwoo wasn't really in the mood to think about the cryptic side to things at that point in time. He just wanted to be free of the thoughts of his future with Mingyu for a while._ _

__It brought him to thoughts of things that weren't all too great at all. Thoughts of how he could just blow everything in life and ask for Mingyu's hand right away. He was considering not even bothering with his university degree because he knew that it wouldn't get him anywhere when he was living with Mingyu. He wouldn't have the chance to put it to use in the village, and the gods certainly wouldn't care if he had a bachelor's degree. He also considered how he could run away and just live where Mingyu wouldn't have access to him. The god had already been scolded for being in human form around people, especially when he went to fetch Wonwoo from the house party. Whilst he wanted to be with Mingyu and was genuinely starting to have feelings for him, Wonwoo was considering whether it was too much for them both. Whilst they were together, he caused issues for Mingyu and that was something that he really wanted to avoid. It didn't make for a healthy relationship, no matter how much Mingyu tried to convince him that it was fine._ _

__He needed to get out for a while to clear his head. Just an hour or so before Mingyu was back in the room with him. He changed his clothes into something more comfortable and then made his way around the top floor of the house, making sure that he couldn't see anyone there in the process. Then he dropped down into the lower floor and checked both the prayer room and around the back half of the house, before promptly leaving the place. As quickly as he could, he started towards the forest, figuring that it was the only place he could really go in order to avoid being caught out. It was light outside, so it wasn't as if he was going to end up being caught by the hounds from his nightmares, and so he simply proceeded to run as quickly as he could whilst avoiding the thoughts of the dream, until he was finally engulfed by the trees._ _

__It seemed familiar right away. Wonwoo could tell exactly where he had been attacked by the hounds in the dream, but he decided not to investigate the area. If he had seen human remains where he had been killed in one of the previous dreams, he didn't want to stick around long enough to find more. It could have just been a coincidence, he figured, but it wasn't really a risk that he was willing to take. So he continued to move forward, keeping his eyes straight ahead as he stuck to the path. The sound of his feet hitting the floor was amplified, due to the fact that the forest was otherwise silent, and so he focused on that. It was rhythmic and regular, and so it worked wonders in calming down the building anxiety in his throat._ _

__That took him back to something that Mingyu told him, actually. Something that he had forgotten about until he got there and was feeling the anxiety of the forest in his throat. The truth of the matter was that he had never seen wild predators in their village, but there would surely be the odd one if there were hounds or wolves living inside the forest. They had a farm, after all; it wasn't the most difficult task to break into one of the barns and snatch an animal or two. His family were poor, so the buildings were hardly of the highest quality. Surely the farm would provide a more sustainable food source for them if they were able to break into one of the barns._ _

__Given that, it was an irrational fear. There were no hound-like creatures. They simply didn't exist. And if the dream held some significance for Mingyu, those hounds would either be metaphorical or dreamed up. Perhaps something like a mythical or legendary creature, as opposed to one that actually existed in the area. It was the only thing that kept him moving through the forest, until he finally made it to the other side. His eyes stayed forward, and he proceeded to make his way down the hill without even casting a glance towards the pile of human remains to the side of the trees. He wasn't going to quit that time, even though he was still feeling anxious. No, he needed to grow up and do something for himself so that he could take his mind of everything that was going on in his life. The dream. Mingyu. University. His parents. His brother. They all needed to be gone for at least a couple of hours. He wasn't going to let any of it upset him anymore._ _

__So he made his way straight over to the farmhouse. He rushed over there, keeping his eyes on the prize along the way. A few people greeted him and he just about let his eyes stray for a second so that he could greet them back - after all, he figured that he could be visiting the place often and so he needed to appear polite at the very least - but then they went straight back to his goal and stayed there until the next person saw him. Eventually, though, he got to the farm and went straight up to the front door, which he knocked firmly a few times before taking a step back, giving the people inside enough room to open the door and take in the image of him before he had the chance to speak._ _

__It didn't take long for someone to get to the door at all. It was a young woman, probably around his age. She looked him up and down before quietly asking if there was anything she could do to help him, and so he announced that he was the son of a farmer from another village and he was looking for work, if they had any available. "I'm trying to get more experience and so I don't want to rely completely on my father to teach me everything about farming," he added with a smile. "But on the contrary, I also know that I'm good at farming and so I can do a good job here without too much additional training." Following that announcement, there was a moment of silence between them. Wonwoo didn't really know what he could add, and seemingly the woman didn't know what to say either. She just continued judging his appearance for a minute before finally telling him that she would ask her mother to come over. And so she invited him in and sat him at the table as she went to fetch her mother._ _

__As it turned out, the mother was the owner of the farm. Her husband had hardly anything to do with the upkeep of the place. That was something that Wonwoo found pretty unusual, if he was being honest, but that was primarily down to the fact that most people who owned property in that area of the country were male. Saying that, she did seem to know a lot about farming. From the manual to the technical sides, she was clearly very educated on how to run a farm and make it both profitable and ethical for the animals. She had raised a lot of the animals from a young age, she said, and so she wasn't prepared to make them suffer just because a lot of them would end up being sold for meat._ _

__That was another thing that Wonwoo found interesting, actually. His own parents sold the animal products but rarely the animals. This farmer, on the other hand, was happy to just sell the animals to whoever wanted them for meat. She didn't care that she had formed an emotional bond with some animals through nursing them or with others because she took care of them when they were ill. They were another way of making a profit. That was how farms worked, she told him; it was the best way to make a good amount of money because consumers knew that they were getting well-sourced meat and they could taste the difference in quality. Wonwoo couldn't help but feel a bit uncomfortable, though. He had always grown up thinking that the animals on farms should be looked after until they were elderly, even though that meant going years without selling any for meat. He always thought that other farmers would feel the exact same way, but apparently not._ _

__It didn't mean that he didn't want the job, though. He was still very much interested, even though he didn't quite feel the same way about taking care of the animals. He made sure to voice the interest as much as possible, trying his hardest to convince the farmer that he would make a perfect addition to their team, until she finally asked whether he would be happy to demonstrate some farming techniques to her. "What sort of equipment do you have on your farm?" she asked, and Wonwoo had to drop his head in shame.  
"We have a milker and a tractor at the moment. There were a few other things but then they broke and we couldn't afford to replace them. In fact, we're still saving up for them now." She looked sympathetic, even though she didn't sound it as she spoke to him.  
"How many cows do you have to milk, dear?"  
"Twelve."_ _

__This time, she gave a gentle and apologetic tut in response. She was probably expecting that they would have a tiny farm from how he was putting things, he figured, when the reality of the situation was that it was growing steadily when his parents had enough money to invest that little bit more money into the farm. Sometimes it meant sacrificing things, like spending a whole day on the milking process because their milker was acting up and going a lot slower than it needed to go, and sometimes it meant borrowing things from other nearby farmers. That was just how things were. If they could afford to have top quality farming equipment, he wouldn't have ended up in the other village._ _

__"How many staff?"  
"Just my father a lot of the time, but I help when I'm not in classes or early in the morning, depending on how things are looking."  
"Well, that's dedication," she told him quite simply. It was true. Wonwoo couldn't even deny it. He wasn't prepared to be modest about that sort of thing when it genuinely took a lot of effort to do the milking alone. One cow would have the milker whilst another was being milked by hand, and then they would swap to the next cow. If his mother joined in too, the process was a lot quicker, but that relied on everyone being free at the same time. It was an unlikely scenario, as much as it could have been ideal. That seemingly impressed the farm owner, who promptly stood and motioned for him to follow her._ _

__"There are a few tasks that we haven't done today, so I would like to see how you deal with them. Are you in the mood to do some manual work now?" Wonwoo gave a nod, and so the woman broke into a smile. "So, here are the things that are left: collecting the chicken eggs, mucking out the barns, turning the sheep out for grazing, preparing the feeds, and treating the horse's thrush. Does any of that sound unfamiliar or difficult? No? How about I show you to the places you'll need and then set you off for a couple of hours?" It sounded fine to him so she proceeded to give him a very quick tour of the farm, making sure to point out important areas. Everything from the equipment storage areas to the field for the sheep. It was intimidatingly large, Wonwoo noted, but he would be fine with getting everything done. After all, he knew his way around a farm and this would be no different. He would do his best and show off that he was the perfect person to help out on their farm, and then he would have the chance to distance himself for a little while every day or so. That was what kept him going right from the start._ _

__So he got on with it. He went straight for the smaller tasks at the start, making sure to take as little time as possible on them. They were things that he didn't need to prioritise, but the ones that he would forget if he didn't do them right away. He turned the sheep straight out onto the field once he was sure that all of the gates were secured, and then promptly left them to continue with their grazing. He found the site of the thrush on the horse's front left frog. Based on the information on the board outside of the stable, he picked the hoof, washed it thoroughly, and then massaged in the appropriate medication. The horse's stable was completely cleaned before he was allowed back in there, and then Wonwoo let him relax again. Then he moved on to the eggs, which was an easy enough task, before mucking out both the stables and barns. That was probably the longest part, even more so than preparing the feeds._ _

__Preparing the feeds was only really a difficult task because some of the animals were on specific medications. One of the horses was on a seniors diet with added arthritis medication, whilst a few of the piglets had infected each other with a bacteria that called for antibiotics in their feed. Of course, those animals were all isolated so it was easy enough to treat the specific ones who needed the special feed, but it didn't make it any easier to sort it out. Once he had all of the feed buckets filled up, though, he left them where they were before going back to the farmhouse. The owner seemed to be surprised by the fact that he'd managed to do it all in around ninety minutes, considering how many tasks he had been given, but a quick inspection of the area and a chat with Wonwoo in the process confirmed that he had done exactly as he'd been asked to do. It was of a high standard too, which made it even more special._ _

__So then they gave the feed to the specific animals before going through to the farmhouse, washing their hands, and then sitting down for lunch. Wonwoo had insisted that he wasn't hungry and that he would get food when he got home, but the farmer was insistent that he join them. "You worked incredibly hard and you know how to work efficiently too. That means that all of the animals will get the best possible treatment and none of them will go hungry or be uncomfortable in their respective area of the farm," she pointed out with a smile. A bowl of rice and grilled fish was placed on the table in front of him, and then the rest of the family encouraged him to start eating with them right away. It led to a few conversations about life on the farm, with everyone trying their hardest to welcome him into their family, and so by the end of it, Wonwoo felt a lot more confident in the fact that he could be joining the family for work._ _

__But then, of course, it all had to crash and burn. Wonwoo couldn't have nice things and that was a fact of life. Every time he got close to that sort of thing, it was snatched away from him. It was exactly the sort of thing that happened to him this time around, too._ _

__"Do you have a bank account?" the farmer asked with a smile. "I have to pay through a bank transfer, rather than cash-in-hand."  
"I don't, unfortunately," Wonwoo confessed with a slight smile. "Do you know what I need to open one up around here?"  
"It's nice and easy, don't worry - you just need something with your face on it, and a letter from your school. I'm sure that it's something you can sort in a couple of days." Not quite. Wonwoo wasn't able to do that sort of thing at all. Of course, it would be a lot easier for him to do that sort of thing in his own village, since everyone knew everyone and they were pretty old-fashioned, meaning that identification documents weren't a huge deal, but he couldn't really get _anything_ in the village when he was in hiding. Someone would definitely spot him and he would end up being ambushed before he even had the chance to talk to someone about opening a bank account._ _

__In fact, Wonwoo didn't even know if he had any forms of identification. He knew that he had a birth certificate somewhere, but that wasn't good enough for proving his identity. He would easily take someone else's certificate and pretend to be them, if that was the case. And if he wanted to get one so that he could have a part-time escape from life? He would not only have to pay to get one, but would also have to have it sent to his parents' house, rather than Fei's one. That was his legal address, after all._ _

__Wonwoo could have cried on the spot. He was so close but so far. He quietly asked if it was possible to do it without being paid but the farmer informed him that they didn't do volunteering in their community. "We have to pay. It's one of the rules around here. Anyone who helps by doing physical or mental work has to be paid for their efforts." He tried to argue that it was a guideline, rather than a law, but the farmer wasn't having any of it. "You know, if you're struggling to do that, you can always come back at a later date and we'll happily take you on. Just drop straight in and we'll get you started." And that was that. The end of the discussion. Wonwoo couldn't argue with it when it was put so clearly. He simply stared at her for a while, trying his hardest not to get too frustrated, and then wished her a great day when he finally left._ _

__It hurt. He wasn't going to pretend that it didn't hurt in the slightest because it genuinely stung. He could feel the tears already starting to well up in his eyes. It was just ridiculous. Everywhere in his village gave wages in cash if someone requested it. Not everyone had bank accounts, especially when they weren't rich enough to have any money in them. And seeing as there wasn't even an ATM in their village - the money had to be ordered directly by the bank manager - it seemed incredibly pointless to have something like that._ _

__And the fact that he had to take in documents to get an account made it even more impossible. There was no chance at all of that happening. That was what crushed his dreams the most. At that point, Wonwoo decided that he would simply drop it and not go back to that idea. He didn't really need a job, after all; he just wanted something that would get him out of the house. Instead, he would just have to go to the forest every day so that he could explore. Perhaps he could learn more about the sorts of plants that were edible that way. Survival skills weren't that common in their village anymore, since everyone seemed to travel out to the nearest city every couple of weeks to get their own fresh foods. They didn't need to scavenge anymore. So it would be something that he could learn from scratch, based on whatever information he could find. Perhaps he could go to the nearest villages, towns and cities so that he could have a look through their libraries and grasp the basic ideas of what plants could and couldn't be consumed._ _

__Yes, that sounded like a better idea. The more he thought about it, the better he felt about the fact that he didn't have a job solely because of the fact that he didn't have a bank account. He liked learning, after all, so it suited him incredibly well. Despite how low he was feeling, Wonwoo found that the walk back to the village felt a lot shorter when he was thinking about how he would learn this sort of information, and so he went back into the temple feeling a little bit happier than he had done when he first walked out of the farmhouse._ _

__Sure, the day was far from perfect and he had experienced a few things already that had left him feeling a bit down - namely the dream, forest and rejection - but it really did feel as if there were still things to explore. Wonwoo didn't feel all that disheartened at all; rather, confident in himself and excited to branch his knowledge out even further._ _


	19. Chapter 19

No matter how hard Wonwoo tried to be careful, there was always going to be a situation in which he would be caught out. That was inevitable when half of the village was looking for him. One versus fifty or so people made for an incredibly difficult task. The biggest issue, though, was the fact that he couldn't stay indoors constantly. It took a toll on his mental health and soon he was getting irritable. That wasn't fair on Mingyu, who was constantly trying to keep him sane whilst he was hiding there.

To be honest, Mingyu was doing pretty damn well. He was constantly making sure that Wonwoo was well-fed and that he had everything he needed. If he wanted any form of information, Mingyu would get it for him, and he didn't even mind that he was being called down a lot to just chat with his boyfriend. He didn't try to suggest that Wonwoo go home once during his time there, and he even took the time to make a university countdown with Wonwoo whilst they were there together. "You only have this many days left," he would say every other day, as if it was a surprise that time was passing, and Wonwoo would always feel that little bit better about the fact that he was still there. In fact, even though he was bothered by the fact that Wonwoo was risking things by leaving the temple and going outside, he didn't even blame him for that. Even though he was just walking around and exploring the surrounding areas, Mingyu informed him that everything was okay, so long as he felt happy with it.

And then when he _was_ back, Mingyu made sure that Wonwoo was happy and comfortable. With cuddling and playing games together and just existing in the same general space as each other, everything was comfortable between them. Of course, Wonwoo was still pretty curious to find out what Mingyu had told him here and there - the sorts of things that had resulted in his memories being wiped - but he eventually gave up on asking when he realised that Mingyu would be punished for telling him what had been said. It had been a moment of weakness on his part, Mingyu admitted, and so he wasn't going to cave like that and tell him things like that again. It wasn't worth putting his boyfriend through all of that when it wasn't definite how far back he would lose his memories. So the conversations moved on. They switched to funny things, like childhood stories and experiences that Mingyu had over the years, or serious things, such as the family they would have in the future.

It was something that was well-appreciated. Wonwoo would have certainly been happy to stay there until it was time to move to university. Once he was there, he could completely rebuild his life. Mingyu said that he would help him to get a few more items of clothing, along with all of his toiletries and classroom equipment, and he could easily do as his brother did by avoiding putting any of his family's personal information on the form. They didn't even know that he had applied for a place on a university course until he mentioned that he had been searching for somewhere to take his degree, and so they probably had no idea of where he would be studying. It would mean that he was free and untraceable, and that was probably his biggest dream. The bonus was that they wouldn't need to break themselves into the fact that their son was going to be moving in with his boyfriend as soon as he had a bachelor's degree because they would have already had a few years to get over the fact that he wasn't there. It meant that it was a win-win situation for everyone.

Or so, it would have been, had he not been caught out.

He hadn't even done anything different that day. He checked around the place to make sure no one was loitering nearby, then walked a huge circle around the village so that no one would be able to see him unless they were really taking a careful look around the place. It allowed him to go in the direction of Soonyoung's place, which allowed for a bit more exploring than the village on the other side of the forest. Of course, it wasn't really the flashiest solution but it stopped him from getting bored, so it was something that he was willing to go ahead with. Even when he was walking, though, he didn't see anyone there. He was even checking around himself constantly to make sure that no one was following him around, which made him a lot more confident in the fact that people wouldn't find him. It was a well-calculated plan, with the benefits severely outweighing the risks, and so he didn't really think anything of it.

The trip to the nearest town was comfortable, as always. He had the chance to catch up with Soonyoung and his boyfriend whenever he happened to be around that village, which worked wonders for his social life and certainly helped to lift his mood quite significantly, and he even found that he could be a lot more open with people whilst he was there too. There were a lot more conversations about everything, from the small talk with the farmers who ran the fruit stalls to the in-depth book chats with the people who worked at the library. If he was being honest, he would have happily considered moving there full-time. It seemed like such a nice place to live, with a good education system and around eighty percent of their children going to university in the end. That was a big thing, considering that less than five percent of the people in his village went to university and they had significantly fewer residents than the town had.

It meant that every day he went there, he felt happy when he walked home. He felt a little bit of a bounce in his step as he walked, and he couldn't help but think about how great it was that he was free to do that sort of thing without being judged. All was fine until he eventually got back to the village and Mingyu's voice came into his head briefly. "Go to the forest for a little while and stay there. There are three people inside the temple at the moment. They're trying to see if you're there, but they haven't found the upstairs part yet. They've passed it a load of times but I think they think it's not possible to get up there so they haven't even tried yet. You're going to have to wait for them to leave."

Wonwoo's stomach lurched. It had been a while since someone was last in the temple, and he didn't really like the fact that they were in there searching for him again. He must have done something to lead them there, he figured; after all, there was honestly no point in them triple- or quadruple-checking the places that they had already looked. If they hadn't found him by that point. Wonwoo figured that it was only logical to drop the search. After all, there was no reason for him to stay in the village. He was much safer elsewhere and they wouldn't be able to track him on foot, so there was a much lower risk of being caught out. It just so happened that he was comfortable inside the temple and so that was where he wanted to stay.

So he waited. He went to the forest and sat down and just waited until the three men finally emerged and started heading home. It took a lot longer than he anticipated, which was unfortunate as he was desperate to get back inside and get on with his evening. As soon as they emerged, though, he made a cautious circle around the temple again before making his way inside. He very quickly decided on minimal waiting to see if they were going to return or anything. He didn't want to risk being caught out but then again, he didn't want to have to spend the evening outside when he was hungry, tired, and needed to have a shower.

He made his way into the temple again and went straight up to Fei's room, where he collapsed onto the bed for a little while. He figured that it was best to relax for a little while, just in case those people _did_ come back and heard him in the shower or something. He laid face-down on the pillow, allowing the exhaustion of the day to wash over his body for a little while, and then slowly rolled so that he was on his back. It was something that had sucked all of the energy out of him, admittedly. Going to the nearby town wasn't usually quite that exhausting, but it felt a lot more tiring this time for some reason. It was as if the wait in the forest had sucked all of the happiness right out of his body, and so he was left feeling like an empty shell.

It was just something that he would have to put up with, though. One day off from his other responsibilities wasn't going to hurt all that much. After all, he had been so busy over the past few months. Everything from studying to finding a university; birthing animals and regular farm tasks; there was always something happening in his life, and so he had spent a few months being unable to take a breath and relax. Now was his time. He had sent off his application and he no longer had any classes to attend. He was perfectly fine to just lie there for a little while longer, at least until Mingyu curiously crept into his room and made his way over. The god took a seat on the end of the bed for a moment and Wonwoo could feel his eyes on him, and then gradually shifted his position until they were lying down together. He snuggled up close so that Wonwoo could feel his hair against his cheek, and then Mingyu grumbled a question about whether he wanted dinner or something before they took a nap.

That was the last thing Wonwoo remembered before he fell asleep. He didn't even recall giving an answer to the question. And then he stayed there, curled up in his boyfriend's arms until he eventually heard a loud thud downstairs. Having been at that point in his sleep where he was still consciously aware of the things that were happening outside of the room he was in, he immediately shot up and began looking around the room. Mingyu was a lot slower to move when he felt Wonwoo's position shift, but he was still up in a matter of seconds too. "What is it?" he asked as he rubbed his eyes. "Did we nap for too long?"

"There's someone downstairs." Wonwoo's voice was low. He knew that the walls of the house were so thin that whoever was down there would probably be able to hear them upstairs if he spoke too loudly. That was the thing about being in such an old building. It wasn't built to keep sound hidden because it was ahead of its time as it was. It was two stories high, meaning that other aspects of the architecture probably weren't prioritised by the people who built it. So he pulled Mingyu closer to his body and stayed still until he finally heard a voice downstairs calling his name.

Wonwoo felt a tingle running up his spine. They knew that he was there. It was more a question of "where" over "if". He heard the voice shouting to him again and curiosity immediately got the better of him. Despite Mingyu's hissed protests that he should go back and join him under the safety of the covers until the person left again, Wonwoo continued to creep towards the door and open it so that he could hear the voice a little bit better. "I know you're up there," the man's voice shouted up to him. It sounded smug but also irritable; as if he didn't want to be there but was happy to find that Wonwoo had been found. Wonwoo immediately felt sick. He didn't think that he would be in that sort of position - in which he was stuck between being unable to live comfortably but also unable to give himself up to the person who was waiting for him downstairs.

"Jeon Wonwoo, your parents sent me to find you and one of my spies caught you coming in here. We've been monitoring your movements in and out of the village, and so we know that you're in here and have no way to get out unless you come down here and comply." Wonwoo's heart skipped a beat. He guessed that perhaps they figured that he was still in the village, but not that he was there specifically. "We'll have someone awake at all hours of the night - one patrolling the outside of the building and one downstairs - to ensure that you won't escape." It was very real. Wonwoo didn't know what to do with himself. He could feel the anxiety rising in his throat as he turned back towards the bedroom and crept back in as quickly but quietly as physically possible, and then sat down on the bed.

He wanted to cry. He really did. It was the first time in a long time that he would genuinely be happy to let the tears fall. These tears would be over fear for his life, rather than being over bereavement or anything like that. And fear was a perfectly reasonable emotion. It wasn't something that he could control, unlike other emotions that he could manipulate or push to the back of his mind. No, fear was something that was very much alive and very difficult to suppress, and even if a person claimed to be able to suppress their fear, it still roared in their heart when they faced the situations that provoked the emotion. It was a very human experience, and that was why he didn't mind it all that much.

But he couldn't cry because that would help the person to find him. They would be able to follow the sounds of heavier breathing or sniffling to find him. To an extent, a person was able to hide those telltale noises, but it was pretty hard to do when the fear was enough to make him tremble. So he tried his hardest to hold it in. He took a seat next to Mingyu again and rested his head on his shoulder as he tried his hardest to let the urge wash over him. When he was finally certain that speaking wouldn't make him start crying, he gave a little sigh and looked up at his boyfriend. "They've found me, Mingyu. Either I die in here or they take me back to my parents' house. That's my fate." It sounded dramatic, but he knew that it would end badly if he continued with his life there. If he wanted to go to university or have any other life before he joined Mingyu, he would have to get caught. But he knew right away that in doing so, he would end up probably being locked in his room for a while. His parents couldn't risk him running away again.

He didn't like the thought of that fate. It was too constricting. And Wonwoo wanted freedom more than anything. He should have left the village and gone as far away as possible. He should have lived in a forest or something, where no one would be able to find him. He should have--

"Mingyu," he said softly. The fear was building even more. He could feel it starting to affect his heart even more. There was a strange crushing sensation in his chest, as if his ribs were squeezing tightly around his lungs. He didn't like that at all. "Can you take me with you? I think I'm ready to go now." The look on the god's face was pained. Even in the dark, Wonwoo could see how sad he looked. He ran a hand through Wonwoo's hair and gently kissed his forehead, and then promptly took his hand in his own.  
"I don't think you're ready for that just yet," he told him quietly. "I want you to be able to go to university first. I want you to be able to have a great life where you don't regret anything at all, and I want you to be ready when you join me. You can't just ask to join me out of fear."

"Please, Mingyu, I need to join you. I can't have them take me back to my parents' house. I don't want to be around them right now. All through my life, they've always acted as if I'm something different. They knew why the kids in my class were bullying me but they refused to tell me. They let me think that it was my fault. Then they've been distant as I've grown up. They made my brother feel as if I was getting special treatment. He didn't hate me for it but my brother..." Deep breath. He could feel it stuttering as he exhaled. It felt uncomfortable. "I can't go back." The last part was weak, as if a child was saying it. Wonwoo didn't like that at all. He figured that he probably sounded painfully dramatic. He probably sounded as if he was just trying to get away because his parents said "no" once or twice.

It shouldn't have blown up as much as it did, frankly. His mother was irrationally angry about the fact that he had been missing classes, even though he had received such a high grade in the end. She had _accused_ him of lying about something as sensitive as death, and had hit him with things through anger, rather than love. _That_ was why he needed Mingyu to take him away as soon as possible. If getting his degree was going to mean dealing with his parents for another few months, he didn't want to have it at all. He would much sooner go to Mingyu's place and learn everything he could possibly want to know by searching through his library. That sounded like a much nicer idea with a lot less stress and at least that way, he would be able to skip over things that he didn't actually enjoy that much. It was a much better alternative, he figured, and at least he would be a lot more comfortable that way.

 _"Please,"_ he pushed, digging his nails into his boyfriend's hand a little. "Please, or I'll do something to hurt myself. I'll--"  
"Stop right there." Mingyu's voice was unusually firm. Wonwoo jumped. He watched as the god's expression grew hard, his eyebrows furrowing slightly, and then he pressed a hand to Wonwoo's shoulder. His grip was harder than Wonwoo imagined too, although it didn't hurt him or anything. Their eyes met and that fear started to come back again. "Don't you _dare_ ever suggest that you'll hurt yourself again. If you do, you're not joining me here. Full stop. I won't allow you to do that. Do you understand?" Wonwoo was forced to give a little nod. His head drooped shamefully as he tried to think of the words to say in order to apologise to his boyfriend, but none came to mind and he immediately felt awful. So he continued trying until Mingyu spoke again.

"I'm sorry, I just can't have you doing anything stupid. It's a rule up here. Of course, it's a bit different if you, well... If your mental health is deteriorating, but if you're doing it in an attempt to guilt me into letting you join me here, you're going to have to live here for the rest of your life." Only then could Wonwoo mumble out an apology. He didn't really know what else he could do. Mingyu pressed a little kiss to his forehead, which was his way of apologising without suggesting that he was in the wrong. Wonwoo was grateful, even though he would have much preferred to hear from his boyfriend that perhaps he was being a little bit too firm with him. Of course, that wasn't exactly the case so he couldn't really say that sort of thing, but he could pretend that Mingyu was in the wrong for how he treated him and he wouldn't get scolded for that.

So he ended up waiting there, in hopes that something would happen and the people who were waiting for him would leave. He was thankful that Mingyu chose to blow off all of his responsibilities in order to make sure that he was safe, and so they spent that time together as much as possible, spare for when the god went to get food for him. Every activity that they did would be quiet and calm and, as boring as it could have been, they didn't even mind having to be almost silent throughout the day.

There was only so much that a person could take that much silence, though. There was only so long that someone could handle having to keep their voice low. Of course, they didn't mind that in itself, but it put a lot of strain on Wonwoo's voice to be so quiet. He had a strong urge to scream and jump around so that he could get it all out of his body, but he knew that it would result in an ambush. They would find a way to get upstairs and catch him, and that would surely result in him being dragged back to his parents' place. So he suppressed it as much as he possibly could and promptly started to come up with a plan for how he would escape the room without being caught by anyone else. That plan would have to be made incredibly well if he wanted any chance of getting out safely, and he had plenty of time to think one up whilst he was trapped on the upper floor of Fei's house.

The biggest issue he found, though, was going to the bathroom and staying quiet there. Every time he had to go, he could feel the anxiety building in his chest even more. He was convinced that it would catch him out - that someone would hear him and that would be the end - and so Mingyu was forced to take over for him. It was uncomfortable, frankly, but it was the only way to ensure his safety. It involved having to put him to sleep, then soundproofing the bathroom in the dream so that Wonwoo could safely take care of his body. He would also take a shower whilst he was there, knowing full well that he wouldn't be able to do it whilst he was awake, and would then go back to bed. It was probably the worst experience of his life, seeing as he was aware that it was a dream and was conscious of the fact that he was wetting the bed or something, but he was relieved to find that it was as if his body was actually dealing with his personal needs in the bathroom. That certainly helped him out a lot but it was a shame that soundproofing could only be done whilst he was asleep, frankly.

It took a good few days for Wonwoo to have come up with a decent plan for how he was going to leave in the end and he had to admit it - he wasn't confident in his approach at all. It relied too much on coincidence for him to be happy with it but that was the best he could get. After all, with two people watching carefully to see if he was going to try to escape, there was only so much that he could really do. And seeing as they were probably going to be much stronger and fitter than he was, coincidence was all he really had.

He waited for a day that he was feeling pretty confident and then promptly went for it. His plan was to calculate how long it took for the person patrolling to be at the other side of the building. Each person took a different amount of time, so he would have to make sure that he had plenty of time to get out. He would take a watch that Mingyu brought to him to calculate whenever the person would be underneath Fei's bedroom window, and he would constantly keep track of that as he made his way to the temple side of the house. The traditional temple shape meant that there were three canopy roofs, which worked in his favour as he could easily lean out of Fei's window and open one of the skylight windows to the side - the ones that brought light into the temple before lightbulbs were used instead. That would allow him to get into the temple, provided that he drop the bedsheet rope down quickly enough, and then he would be able to burst through the front doors and run to catch them off-guard.

A poor plan, he knew.

Nevertheless, he tried it. He asked Mingyu for slate grey bedsheets so that he could make a rope, and then promptly tied them together as tightly as possible. The rope was secured to the bedframe and then he waited for the patrolling person to get to the other side of the building before swinging open the window and leaning out to push the skylight in. Then he dropped the rope down as quickly as possible before pulling his window closed again, then waited for the person to walk past again. It was a coincidence that they just weren't looking properly, otherwise they certainly would have seen that his window wasn't quite closed and there were bedsheets hanging down. Nevertheless, he was in the clear and proceeded to drop down as quickly as possible.

It proved to be a difficult task, if he was being completely honest. He thought that it would be easier to lower himself down the bedsheets but he hadn't put nearly enough knots in it and could feel himself slipping down. It was a huge struggle to stay silent as he made his way down to the bottom but then his feet hit the floor a tiny bit too hard. For a second, he was forced to pause in order to see whether anyone came running - after all, he was only wearing socks so it shouldn't have been too loud, but it could have easily been noticed by someone who was trying to make sure that he couldn't escape - and he was relieved to find that no one came running in to find him stood there.

So he proceeded. He made his way over to the door and unbolted the door as carefully as possible. The bolt was old and stiff but he just about managed to wiggle it free without being too loud. Only then did he let out a long but quiet breath before lifting the latch and pushing in one forceful motion.

Except it didn't budge at all.

Wonwoo panicked. He hadn't anticipated that the door would have been locked as well as bolted. He always thought that it would have just been shut by that point in time. If someone needed to exit the place quickly in the case of a fire or something having a locked door would certainly kill them. 

But then he remembered. The temple was out of bounds for a reason. The building was deemed as unsafe, and that was probably one of the reasons why that was the case. They couldn't unlock the door and so there was no chance to escape in an emergency. They would have to all pile out through the tiny kitchen. Wonwoo's heart was in his throat. He heard the person in the kitchen making their way in so he tried again. Another hard push to the door. But it stayed locked. He turned around to see the guy in the doorway and his heart dropped right away. He knew that there was no chance of getting out safely. So he did the only thing he could really think to do, in a desperate attempt to spare himself. He jolted towards the bedsheet rope and tried his hardest to climb.

The lack of knots were what did it for him. He was only three knots up when the guy ripped him down from the rope at full force. Wonwoo tried to hold on for dear life, but the power behind the movement left his hands sore, and ultimately resulted in him letting go involuntarily. He let out a scream, in hopes that someone else would hear and would come running to his aid. Of course, that didn't happen at all. The guy from outside came inside too, and the two men promptly restrained him as they took him home to his parents.

The worst part of the experience was that he could feel everyone's eyes on him as they walked him back to the farm. They had all been so invested in finding him, and now it had turned into a public affair. Mr and Mrs Jeon's problem child was finally caught and taken back home. How could a child like that represent their village by becoming their god's husband? How could he even face the god when he was caught being so immature? Surely Mingyu wouldn't want to have him around after he had such a huge temper tantrum that he was missing for so long. The village would surely end up being cast into darkness again, since they didn't do what they could to keep him respectable for Mingyu. Wonwoo could hear the comments that they were making about him as he was walked through the place but he kept his head down the entire time. The last thing he really needed to do was aggravate the situation even more.

By the time he got to his parents house, the humiliation had turned back to fear. They were waiting for him and they weren't happy at all. Of course, they had anticipated that he would be found since they heard the news that he'd been seen going into the temple. That was the most likely place for him to be, they decided, so it was only a matter of time. He was sat down in the main room and they were stood in front of him, making sure that he knew that they were incredibly disappointed in him. It was to be expected, frankly. He knew that they were disappointed in him, and he knew that he was due to be punished for what he had done. They weren't the sort to _physically_ punish him, admittedly - other than when his mother lashed out at him before he left the house - but he knew that it wasn't going to be good.

Strangely, though, it started out calm and that threw Wonwoo off quite significantly. "I'd just like to apologise before we start," his mother told him. "I called you a liar when you told me that your brother had passed away. I checked with his university and they informed me that you had been telling the truth."  
"Thank you."  
"However, your approach to telling us wasn't appropriate at all, and we really didn't agree with how rude you were."

That was it. All hell broke loose after that. The occasional word was shouted so that Wonwoo was forced to be wary at all times, but the rest was incredibly calm. Angry calm, though; not genuine calm. So he stayed silent and made the appropriate amount of eye contact the entire time. His mother continued for a while, explaining exactly why she was so disappointed in him, and then eventually informed him that she wasn't going to put up with his tantrums again. She didn't want to stop him from leaving the house but she wasn't prepared to let him disrespect people like that again. It meant having a few restrictions on what times he left the house and how often he could see Mingyu until she trusted him again, and that was a huge disappointment as far as Wonwoo was concerned.

"You can't really restrict how often I see my boyfriend," he said dryly. "He's here to keep me safe. And besides, I'm going to be moving in with him soon, so I have to be able to see him."  
"Unfortunately," his mother started, "You've been a lot more unruly since you started dating him. You wouldn't have dreamt of running away like that, and you certainly wouldn't be trekking around the country on your own. You're going to have to deal with it, Wonwoo, because the sooner you prove to us that you're trustworthy, the sooner you can have your restrictions dropped."

Wonwoo went to protest but his father waas quick to remind him that it wasn't a negotiation. He lost the right to negotiate with his punishments when he ran away from home. It was his own fault that he was in that position and it could have been easily avoided if he actually kept his parents in the loop. Of course, there were a number of things that he wanted to say in response to that, but he chose to keep his mouth shut so that he didn't need to mind his words. He knew that trying to argue with them would end badly and so he didn't really want to risk making his punishment worse. Instead, he simply let them get the last few things out before going up to his room, where he promptly flopped face-first on the bed.

Part of him wanted nothing more than to escape in the middle of the night but he knew right away that it would be a huge mistake. His parents would have put measures in place to stop him from doing that and besides, the other people in the village would be well aware of the fact that he would try to run again. One of them would catch him before he made it too far. There was always someone who was still awake at stupid hours of the night, and they would want to be the hero who saved the day by stopping him from running again.

So he decided that he would give up. He would accept the punishment whilst he was there, and then he would go to university and get his degree. Just as his brother had done, he woudl refrain from giving any home details to the staff at the university, and so he would be safe to proceed with his studies and not have to worry about them appearing. And as soon as he graduated, he would be free to move in with Mingyu. He would ask for the god to take him that same night so that they could spend as much time as possible together, and that would be the end of it all.

Frankly, that was the only thing keeping him going. If he pushed through for just a while longer, he would be happy again. A little bit more after that, and he would be living with his boyfriend. They could get married and possibly raise some children together, and Wonwoo wouldn't have to worry about anything else for the rest of his life. He would be stress-free and comfortable, and he wouldn't need to worry about his parents ever again.

If he pushed through for just a while longer.


	20. Chapter 20

_"I want to have sex with you, Mingyu. Please, I need you."_

Considering that he had been so insistent on waiting, Mingyu had been completely thrown off-guard when his boyfriend begged to be bedded again. It was as if it was a trick; a way of testing his willpower and whether or not he was going to entertain the idea again after his boyfriend had already told him that he didn't want to sleep together again. But then Wonwoo was on him, trying his hardest to kiss and undress him. His fingers attacked Mingyu's shirt and tried to pull him close to his chest, and so the god was finally forced to put his foot down and tell Wonwoo that he wasn't going to take it that far with him in order to stop the touches that he was receiving. And Wonwoo looked humiliated. He looked as if he genuinely wanted to sleep with him, which left Mingyu - quite understandably - confused about the arrangements that they had made as a couple.

"I need you," Wonwoo insisted. His eyes were pleading; begging Mingyu to do as he asked. "I need nothing more than to have you all over me, making me feel special and loved, and as if y--"  
"Wait." Wonwoo's stomach lurched. He could see from the look on his boyfriend's face that he wasn't going to get what he wanted. He could tell right away that Mingyu had caught onto the fact that he was coming out with it for a reason. That he didn't genuinely want it because he was in the mood, nor because he wanted it because he enjoyed the sensation. Instead-- "What happened in the few days that I was away?"

It was a poor decision on his part to leave Wonwoo alone with his parents for a few days. The last thing he really wanted to do was get Wonwoo in trouble, he told him, and so he wasn't going to interfere with the rules that had been put in place. After all, he needed Wonwoo's parents to trust him enough. He was going to take their son away from them so that they could start a family together. It wasn't really something that he was prepared to argue over, even though Wonwoo had tried his hardest to battle against the decision. So they had been apart for the entire time. No response in the temple. No visiting bedrooms. No talking in Wonwoo's head. Just completely cold turkey until it seemed as if it had all blown over and the arguments were happening less frequently. Of course, though, it had to be those few days where Wonwoo really needed him to be there. He had been calling out desperately, trying to get in contact with his boyfriend, and now this was the result.

"It's fine," Wonwoo insisted as he leaned up to kiss Mingyu's neck. As anticipated, the skin didn't quite feel real, but it didn't mean that he wasn't going to try that little bit harder to make it feel good. Naturally, Mingyu couldn't help but let out a noise in response to the contact, but then he proceeded to push it back again as he lifted his head straight again and began to talk to his boyfriend in the calmest voice that he could muster. One that Wonwoo didn't really like at all because it was a sign that he wasn't going to get very far with his attempts.  
"Jeon Wonwoo, I need you to tell me what happened whilst I was away. If you genuinely thought about sleeping with me during that timeframe and you're making use of it now, I can accept that. We'll get you into bed and then I'll come back in your dreams. But I need to know what happened first so that you don't regret this."

Rumbled. That had confirmed that Mingyu could tell that he wasn't quite telling him everything. He wasn't born yesterday, after all. He knew that Wonwoo wouldn't just suddenly spring on him without having other motives, and so Wonwoo had to finally confess what had really happened, not just to himself but to Mingyu too. It had been the worst few days of his life, after all, and _that_ was the reason why he was reacting in such a way. It was a mix of "screw you" in his parents' direction, a way of making use of having his boyfriend back, and a way to take his mind off everything that was going on around him. It was a dumb decision, honestly, but it was the only way he could really think to make himself feel better.

The fact of the matter was that his parents were adding more and more restrictions to him as time moved on, and he really hated that more than he could even begin to describe. Everything from the times at which he could shower to the friends that he could meet. He'd managed to get a phone from Mingyu so that he could keep in contact with Soonyoung when they weren't able to see each other and Soonyoung had informed him that he was going to be in their village one day. He asked if it was possible to meet up, since he wanted to see the best side of the place and maybe meet the farm animals too. It seemed like a great idea, as far as Wonwoo was concerned, but his parents didn't really agree. In fact, they told him that he wasn't going to meet his friend in the village at all, and that he had to hand his phone over so that he didn't end up planning a way of sneaking out with him either. It was ridiculous that Wonwoo wasn't able to make even basic decisions for himself, and he strongly believed that adults shouldn't have to deal with someone else having so much control over them.

Ever-growing. Ever-lasting. He tried to reason with them - or at least come up with a basic timeframe so that he would be able to work towards a time goal and keep to the rules - but his proposal of six weeks "guaranteed that it was going to be a bare minimum of twelve weeks". Which was absolutely ridiculous, as far as he was concerned. He wasn't a child, after all. His punishment shouldn't have been extended merely because he asked how long it was going to take for things to get back to normal. And whilst the punishment itself wasn't much of a bother for someone who would just sit in their room and read, for the most part, it was a bit of a big deal for someone who was due to be starting their university course before the twelve week period was up.

In any other situation, that would be great for him. It would typically mean that he would escape the longer punishment by a mile, since he wouldn't be around for his parents to punish. But in this situation, he was massively concerned that it would mean that he would be unable to attend his course in the first place. It wasn't going to be too much of a difficult task to leave the place on his own, but it would be incredibly obvious if he had a bag with him when he left. Especially seeing as he would need to take more than just a few items of clothing if he was going to be moving to a different city. Of course, there was always the chance that Mingyu would help him with that bit, but he didn't really want to rely on him for absolutely everything. And then there was the issue of the other people in the village. Would someone be watching him to make sure that he didn't head towards the train station? Would someone try to stop him from leaving? Would someone follow him and tell his parents where he was going?

There was no way to be sure that it wouldn't happen. As much as Wonwoo could try to be sneaky, everyone was watching him. They knew that there was drama in the village after his first attempt at running away and they wanted to be a part of that. He could see it whenever he _was_ let out of the house. People peeking out from behind their curtains. Shop owners watching him from behind their tills. Even the librarian was keeping an eye on him. And it was ridiculous. It was making him anxious, and that made him look more suspicious than ever. It made it seem as if he was sneaking around more than he actually was. So he tried going around the back of the houses too, or at least until it seemed to be even more suspicious. That sort of thing wasn't going to pass by the other villagers easily, which he didn't realise exactly until one of the shopkeepers caught him and loudly asked him what he was doing sneaking around. So he was forced to both explain and try to reason with the guy, only to have him announce that he "might" keep it a secret from Wonwoo's parents. "You'll have to see if you're lucky enough for that."

Of course, it didn't even take that long for it to get too overwhelming. That much was inevitable when he was having to deal with all of the things that were being slammed down on his plate, as if he was deserving of such a fate. Wonwoo didn't want to be there anymore. He didn't want to have to deal with all of the stress that was starting to swamp him. He hated the fact that his parents were putting more and more pressure on him. He hated the fact that the other villagers were joining in and trying their hardest to make his life a living hell, just so that he was sure that they knew what he'd done. He hated the fact that Mingyu had disappeared on him even more. And that much had left him feeling numb inside, even though he knew that he shouldn't be bothered by it as he was.

He just needed to feel something for a while. Pain. Pleasure. A gentle kiss to his lips or a hug that swept him off his feet. He needed that more than he could possibly describe. Which was why he was pushing for sex. He didn't want to admit that was the case, but he ended up having to tell Mingyu to his face as soon as he realised that he wasn't going to get anywhere if he didn't explain himself. "I'm not lying when I say that I want to do that with you," he announced, trying his hardest to keep his tone calm the entire time, "But this is what has sparked me to react in this sort of way. I hope you understand that I'm not going to try to pressure you into that sort of thing, but also that you wouldn't be doing anything inappropriate if you were to touch me. I am perfectly capable of consenting to this sort of thing if you're happy to go ahead with it."

Mingyu considered it. Wonwoo could tell from his face that he was considering how bad it would be if he was to actually go ahead with it. On one hand, Wonwoo could appear to be in a vulnerable place. He could be seen as a young boy who was still unsure of how to respond to adverse situations due to a lack of experience in the area, and so he would be unable to consent fully. Similarly, though, it was clear that he was legally a grown adult, they had done it before so he knew what to expect if they were to do it a second time, and he had obviously considered the implications of it a little bit more this time. It was all ticking over in his head and Wonwoo could tell that much. So he made sure to try to calm his boyfriend's anxieties about it down that little bit more by insisting that he had been dreaming about it more and more anyway. Which wasn't strictly true, but it certainly wasn't a lie.

It hadn't necessarily been with Mingyu, after all. It had been with some form that was similar to him, but not necessarily Mingyu himself. The dream had occurred back-on-back for the past three nights, and each time he had ended up in bed with the person who he kissed when he got out of the water. Touching each other and grabbing for bare thighs. The figure had touched him in ways that he had never known, and it had been insistent that Wonwoo knew the touches. Interestingly, the figure insisted that he knew the touches from some time in the past, but neglected to say where he knew it from. Likewise, it seemed significantly less experienced than the first time. Perhaps it was a different figure or one from the past. Considering that he had gone that far with a person from his dreams, though, he didn't feel as if doing it with Mingyu would be a huge deal at all. But that still didn't necessarily mean that he wasn't going to push it. So he went and laid on the bed to allow Mingyu to do it if he wanted to. If not, he was going to take a nap for a while because he had nothing else to do.

So Mingyu hesitantly did as he was asked and Wonwoo was left feeling smug as his boyfriend began touching him all over. Gentle to start with, but gradually building confidence as time went on. And it did so quickly. He knew what to do to make Wonwoo's body crumble, and that was no secret whatsoever. His fingers traced those places with ease. The little crevices of skin that he'd probably not touched since Mingyu last touched him there. The hidden sweet spots underneath his skin. The little pressure points that made him squirm. Mingyu honoured them the entire time, making sure that Wonwoo knew throughout that his consent could be withdrawn at any point, and so they got started. Rocking against each other. Touching palms to palms. Kissing hard and swallowing the noises that threatened to escape throats. Sometimes rough but mostly gentle; they worked against each other in unison to create the perfect cocktail of bodies against bodies, and that was exactly what they both needed at that point in time.

Wonwoo was in bliss, at least for the moment. He was happy that he was able to experience the touch of another man, and that much was clear from his reactions. He knew what he wanted and he trusted that Mingyu would give him that. Of course, it was given to him with no resistance at all. No complaints or suggestions that he was asking for too much. Just raw love until Wonwoo ruined it by announcing what had been on his mind since they started what they were doing: "Mingyu, is there any chance that we could do this in person too? I want my mother to hear us doing this so that she knows that you're in here with me? You can always go if she tries to open the door, but I think I'd like her to know that we're not afraid of what she'll say or do if we _were_ caught in bed together."

Mingyu paused for a moment, as if he was considering. For that moment, there was nothing. No sound. No movement. Wonwoo resisted the urge to raise an eyebrow at his boyfriend. It was like opening an oven. Once they had stopped for a minute, the heat between them began to pour out until the arousal was under threat of draining away. So Wonwoo touched a hand to his boyfriend's cheek and continued, in hopes that it would get him a little bit further with his goal. He needed to get what he wanted and Mingyu was certainly going to give him that much if he asked nicely for it. "Please?" It was clear that Mingyu was trying to find a way to reject him before that point, but then Wonwoo had added that last little bit and he quickly caved.  
"I can't deny you that," he grumbled, signifying that he wasn't one hundred percent happy with the result but was instead satisfied just enough to grant the wish, and so Wonwoo woke up to find Mingyu on top of him.

It was the best feeling in the world. For now, he wasn't afraid to be loud. He exaggerated it, trying his hardest to make it seem as if he was _really_ enjoying it more than anything in the world. Not that he _wasn't_ enjoying it or anything, but it probably wasn't as much as he was making it out to seem. After all, he had already determined that sex was more hyped up than it should have been and so it wasn't something that he really needed to make him happy. He had been trying to put it off until he finally moved in with Mingyu, but this was based on the principle behind it. The fact that his mother was trying to stop him from living his life. The fact that he could lose his place in university because she could choose to lock him in the house with no way of getting out on the first day of classes. So this was payback. His first point of rebellion. A sweet rebellion, but also one that was going to leave his body feeling much better than any other form of rebellion would do.

Mingyu touched him in a place that felt slightly different and Wonwoo screamed. He simply threw his head back and let it all out. A shrill, loud scream to signify how much he enjoyed being touched like that. And as soon as he did, he knew that he was going to get results. He could hear his mother starting to make her way over to his room, so he proceeded to flip the position and take control completely. His hands pressed against Mingyu's chest and his hips slowly grinding against his boyfriend's naked body so that he could feel every single centimetre of their lust. And whilst taking control certainly wasn't what Wonwoo favoured, he found it necessary in this case. It meant that Mingyu couldn't flake too soon and if his mother was going to burst into his room, she was going to see his bare back before anything else. He closed his eyes, trying his hardest to slow down his racing pulse as he continued to slam his hips down against Mingyu's body - or rather, the figure that was representing Mingyu at that point in time - until his mother forcefully swung the door open.

So Wonwoo let out a noise of surprise, even though he was hardly surprised by it, and flashed a glance over his shoulder. A glance that wasn't nearly as apologetic as she would want, but certainly one that showed that he knew exactly what he was doing. She stared at him in silence for a few seconds, trying her hardest to figure out what she was going to do with herself, and then promptly muttered something about how they were going to have a long talk. "You need to stop that right now. I'll be downstairs. The minute you finish, I want you to come down." No acknowledgement of the fact that there was a god in her house. No questioning how he managed to get into the room when the window was locked and he would usually have to go through the house to get to Wonwoo's room. She just slammed the door shut and went back downstairs.

Wonwoo and Mingyu flashed a glance at each other, and then Wonwoo promptly got back to work. After all, he knew that it wouldn't take too much longer for them to finish up. He was quieter this time, though, having reached his goal already. A few minutes passed and he was left cleaning up the remains. He redressed, then hopped straight up off the bed. "You know I'm gonna get in a load of trouble for this, right?" Mingyu asked as he adjusted himself and started on his way towards the corner of the room. "The other gods are gonna have my head for it. I've broken so many rules already."

"How many are we talking about here?"  
"Well, letting your mother see me was a big deal. Then there was the fact that we slept together after I let you convince me to do it, rather than making sure that it was done out of mutual love and appreciation. Then there was the fact that I let you wake up so that we could continue in person. You would have seen my face briefly in your dream, which you shouldn't wake up remembering distictly but had to do because we were in the middle of doing this. And I'm sure that there's a load of other ones that they'll make up as we're going along, just to punish me that little bit more for being so irresponsible.  
"I'm sorry," Wonwoo said without offering any solution. He made his way over to the god to steal a kiss, then made his way towards the door. Upon arrival, though, he hesitated and turned back towards Mingyu.

"I suppose you haven't had this with anyone before, have you? The books make you seem incredibly formal, but I guess it might be an attempt to avoid making you sound common. Although, I suppose I can't really guess what's happened in your life, can I?"  
"No, you're right," Mingyu admitted without even a second of hesitation. "I'm not usually like this. But there's a reason for that. I won't tell you what that reason is just yet, but you'll find out soon enough. It's the only reason why I'm risking so much with you because otherwise, being told off every week by the other gods would teach me a lesson. I guess I just haven't learnt that lesson yet, huh?" With that, he flashed a playful smile, showing Wonwoo that he didn't mind it as much as he had been suggesting at the start, and then made his way towards the wall.

That was when reality hit for Wonwoo. He was going to have to go to the main room and deal with the consequences of his actions. Of course, it probably wasn't going to be as bad as it was when he first ran away. If any argument with his parents surpassed that, he would be surprised. It was the sort of thing that rarely happened twice, and that was because it was just so intense. So at least he didn't have to worry about that. He did, however, need to be able to find the words to explain to his mother how Mingyu had ended up in his room and why he decided to act like that. It was something that he didn't really want to have to explain, but he knew that he wouldn't be allowed back up to his room if he didn't go into the details.

So he did, quite unfortunately. He went down and explained himself, trying his hardest to make it sound as if it wasn't a big deal at all. It was just something that adults did, and he was a grown adult at that point. He had a boyfriend, who he was due to be living with soon enough. He was going to be getting married as soon as they were living together. He was only enough to go to university and get a job, and so it was a given that he would be having sex soon enough. His parents surely did that when they were his age, so there was no reason for him to be punished by it. He wasn't bothered by the thought of sleeping with someone he was going to spend his life with in the slightest. 

He was the only one, it seemed. His father made an excuse to leave the room and his mother was certainly bothered by it too, of course. Yet strangely, she seemed to be more disappointed in him than angry. She informed him that she hadn't expected to see that in her house, even though she knew that he was going to spend his life with Mingyu. That was what all of the books said - all of the legends, myths, stories, rumours, and everything else that was passed around the village - so she couldn't really argue with that. But then again, it was never really something that a parent wanted to see in their house. Any parent who said that they were okay with the fact that they found their child in bed with someone else was lying, and she was very firm about that. So she just ended up asking that he not do it again - or at least not be so loud in the future - and try to limit how much Mingyu was in his room. After all, they had made an agreement that their access would be limited and she wanted that agreement to be respected.

So naturally, the only thing that Wonwoo could do was see how far he could push his luck with it all.

It was basically just a big part of growing up. Pushing his parents to see what he could get away with after he'd managed to avoid being yelled at the first time. It sounded like a good idea when he considered how he was unhappy with the restrictions. It sounded even better once he thought about the fact that his brother had received worse when he was alive and living with them. Considering that he couldn't do anything without getting scolded, whereas Wonwoo would be faced with worry from his parents instead, it seemed like a way to honour his brother too. At least, that's how it sounded to a petty, destructive mind. A rational part was telling him that it was a ridiculous idea to do something like that, of course, but that part was pushed to one side so that he could finish his time there with a bang.

Deliberately soaking all of the kitchen towels so that they wouldn't be able to dry the dishes. Intentionally dyeing his father's white shirts pink by mixing loads of washing. Leaving hair in the bottom of the shower. Ridiculous things that were going to irritate people, but weren't going to do much more than that. Then a little bit more intense. Skipping going to the grocery store so that he could meet up with Soonyoung behind their backs. Consistently breaking curfew when they had no choice but to let him out of the house to run errands. Calmly arguing against everything that they were saying, making it clear that he was better educated than they were. Bringing the conversation back to the fact that he was due to be moving out soon anyway, so they didn't need to worry about the problems that he was causing.

He was upsetting them and he could see that much. Even when they begrudgingly marked it as "accidents" and didn't pursue any of it further, it was so clear that they were upset with him. But it was incredibly difficult to stop when the cause for his behaviour was the way in which they were treating him. Sure, they were getting better by not shouting at him constantly, but there was still a very obvious tension. Plus the fact of the matter was that rebellion was something that he'd never really thought about before. Obviously, there were the few occasions in which he would sneak out of the house to go to the temple or run through the bucket list with his parents, but that didn't really count as such. It wasn't as if they'd specifically told him not to do that. It was just seen as a given that he wouldn't do something like that. Plus it was something that he'd never really done to get results - like his parents finding out or to make a statement - so this was really his first encounter with that sort of thing. 

And so this was his time to shine. His time to make things incredibly difficult for everyone. He continued to push it more and more and more until it was clear that his parents were getting closer to the edge. The tension only grew in the household until they were in the position where even eye contact was uncomfortable, and then it suddenly blew up in Wonwoo's face when he least expected it. Over something very tiny, just as expected. The final straw, and the one that broke the camel's back.

His mother had just swept the floor and he had gone into the kitchen to get a snack. In the process, he had dropped crumbs all over the floor and simply stared at them for a moment before continuing on his way. Something that he found pretty disgusting in an area where rats were prominent, but not something that he cared about enough to actually bother with all that much. He simply stepped over them and started on his way to his bedroom before he heard a loud huff and a call for him to go into the kitchen. Right away, he was alert to the fact that his mother sounded angry, and so he made his way straight back in there to find out what the problem was. As if he didn't already know after what he'd done. And it was the crumbs. Just the crumbs. A couple dropped on the perfectly-swept, perfectly-mopped floor.

"Jeon Wonwoo, did I raise you to be like this?" she asked. Her voice sounded tired, as if she was fed up of bringing these sorts of things up. Sick of the arguments and sick of the fact that she was constantly having to call her son out over such ridiculous things. Wonwoo simply glanced down at the crumbs and then looked her right in the eyes.  
"I don't know. Did you?" Sassy, and probably the exact wrong thing to say. She flipped immediately, informing him right off the bat that she was sick of having to clean up after him constantly. Insert something about him being able to pick up a dustpan and brush for long enough to sweep up a couple of crumbs that he dropped on the floor. Insert another comment about how women weren't the only ones who had to clean in modern society and how Mingyu would probably expect him to do the housework, since he'll be busy doing whatever gods do during the day.

Wonwoo made the mistake of rolling his eyes. The shouting got worse. More about the fact that he was an incredibly disrespectful person and she didn't realise that she had taught her son to be so rude to other people. "I'm certain that I raised you with more respect than that. At least your brother had basic manners. When he was your age, he wasn't acting like this." Her tone was firm all the way through, but then she seemingly remembered her son's fate and quickly crumbled. Both her expression and composure cracked, leaving her in a teary mess as she tried to tell her son that she wasn't in the mood for his rubbish again. She was trying her hardest to push through the fact that she had upset herself and Wonwoo considered comforting her, figuring that it had gone a bit too far for his liking, but then she promptly clicked her fingers at him and told him to clean up the mess that he had created and all of the sympathy that he had for her promptly simmered away.

No one clicked at him. He wasn't a dog. He didn't care whether she was his parent, his lover, his boss, or his pet monkey. _No one_ clicked at him like that and expected him to simply do as they said. It was a huge sign of disrespect, and that was enough to put him off helping in the slightest. So he turned on his heel and started to walk away until she grabbed for his wrist tightly and told him that she wasn't going to let him go until he cleaned up the crumbs. She wasn't going to let him get away with it this time; not when he was generally so disrespectful to her constantly. Wonwoo tried to pull his arm away, only to find that she was holding on particularly tight. In fact, it even tightened further when he tried to move. So he yanked it away as hard as he could, which subsequently knocked her off balance and made her fall onto her knees.

And so he froze.

What was he supposed to do? He had just knocked his mother over during an argument. He hadn't realised his own strength, which had been the whole problem for him. He had expected that she would just let go of him as soon as his arm was pulled with that speed. But now he had _those_ consequences to deal with too. Only made worse by the fact that she immediately started crying harder and gradually loosened her grip on his arm until her hand dropped into her lap. "What did I do to you to deserve being treated like this?" she asked. "I've tried to be supportive of you and understand your current situation, but you're not making things any easier for me at all. In fact, you're making me wish that I'd never had you at all, Jeon Wonwoo. I wish I'd never agreed to have a second child with your father because at least then, none of this would be happening."

It was harsh but Wonwoo still felt bad. So he tried his hardest to apologise, only to be shut down when his mother started to tell him about how she realised that it was the wrong time to have a child. "We were starting to suspect that Mingyu would be searching for someone else to hand his heart to when I got pregnant with you. I should have told your father to wait for a few years, but then I got pregnant and I couldn't take it back anymore." And then she paused. A long, dramatic pause that immediately warned Wonwoo of the fact that another harsh comment was going to come out of her mouth. "I could have travelled into the city whilst your father was out of town, and I could have just blown my savings on an abortion and played it off as a miscarriage."

Wonwoo flinched. It stung a lot more than he thought it would. So he dismissed himself and locked himself in his room, where he spent the following few hours just overthinking it all. In that sort of situation, he would usually be angry and would try to find another way to rebel, but he wasn't in the mood to do that once it all came out like that. He couldn't bring himself to do it. Being petty and passive-aggressive led to him doing something that he regretted more than he could possibly describe, and now he was left feeling even worse about himself once his mother admitted something so loaded to him like that.

It was at that point that he really knew what options he had left. He called out for Mingyu, not even caring whether the god was going to respond or not. "Mingu, I'd really appreciate it if you could just come and get me now, please. I'm sick of being here and I just want to come up and live with you now, if that's okay. Come down here and help me join you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been writing chunks of this after work each day but hopefully it's not too disjointed!! It's come alongside finishing a whole other fic and preparing the chapters for posting, but it didn't really take quite as long as I expected, so there's that at least!!
> 
> Just four to go here too, though, so there's that to look forward to now!!
> 
> Thank you for reading!! <3


	21. Chapter 21

As expected, Mingyu tried his hardest to convince him to stay with his parents for a while longer. He wouldn't be able to go to university if he didn't push through that last little hurdle, he said, and Wonwoo had tried so hard to get in that he might as well continue. It was something commendable, after all, and Mingyu was incredibly proud of him for all of his work every day, not only when it came to all of the studying that got him to that point but also when it came to general functioning in the situation that he was in. But by that point, Wonwoo was well past it. He didn't want to stick around and have to deal with the troubles that would come alongside going to university. He knew that it wasn't going to be as simple as leaving his parents' house and going away for a while. No, it was going to open up a completely new can of worms as it was, and so he decided that he would rather just leave it.

But Mingyu was insistent. It was the one thing that he was very firm about, and he didn't really seem like the sort who would accept any of Wonwoo's rubbish about how he just wasn't feeling it or that he had changed his mind. He told him that there was no chance that he would allow Wonwoo to just join him like that without putting his life on track first. The wait would be worth it and he would make so many great memories if he continued with his studies. He would be the first person in his family to graduate from university, and he would be able to brag to the other gods about how he was able to do something great in life. It was something that Mingyu was determined to give him, but Wonwoo really wasn't happy with it all. So he simply ended up telling it how it was one day, after they had spent almost an hour trying to convince the other person that their way was the only way in that particular situation. "I'm miserable, Mingyu. If you don't let me join you, I'll simply kill myself and you'll have to wait for someone else to come along and fill the void in your heart."

And then time stood still for what felt like years.

Wonwoo swallowed thickly once he realised how much of a mistake he had made. He could see the god's expression change right away. His smile faded and his eyebrows knitted together in what appeared to be confusion and hurt. His slightly blurred face - a trick used to stop the other gods from scolding him for letting Wonwoo see him in daylight - became clear all of a sudden, but it was obvious right away that it was done because his mood prevented him from masking it any longer. After all, his hurt shone through right away and it only took a few seconds for the rain to start to hit against Wonwoo's window, suggesting that his focus was primarily on his emotions rather than concealing his face. Wonwoo jumped when he heard the hammering on the glass, realising right away that he had said something that was a little bit too personal, and so he moved forward to hug the god. Mingyu simply stayed completely still, though. He allowed the hug but didn't actually do anything to encourage it. His arms stayed by his sides and his expression stayed completely neutral as Wonwoo tried his hardest to give comfort.

"It's fine," Mingyu breathed after a couple of minutes of silence. The continued hammering on the window suggested otherwise, but Wonwoo wasn't really sure whether or not to pursue it. After all, he knew that his boyfriend had been heavily affected by his words - meaning that it wasn't fine at all - but surely if Mingyu was suggesting that he wanted it to be left alone, that was the best option. And that just made things difficult for Wonwoo. He couldn't figure out which would help to solve the problem that little bit quicker. Heck, he didn't even know what the issue was exactly. Sure, his words weren't nice, but it wouldn't result in most people being so deeply hurt that they responded in such a way. So he decided to simply take the plunge, in the end, and moved back far enough to bow deeply to the god. From the hips up, he was perfectly parallel to the ground. "Mingyu, I'm incredibly sorry for what I said to you. I won't hurt myself, and I know that it's a serious matter that should be treated as such. I understand that the suggestion was in poor taste and was disrespectful to you and your efforts, and I won't ever say that sort of thing again."

Only when he had finished did he stand up properly again, only to see a mixed expression on Mingyu's face. Seemingly, he didn't really know what to make of the situation. He didn't know whether to make a joke over it to calm himself down, or whether to just ask about it. So he chose the middle ground and kept his mouth shut again until he noticed that Mingyu's eyes were starting to brim with tears. He tried to blink them away as quickly as possible, in hopes that Wonwoo wouldn't catch them, but it was too late and Wonwoo couldn't exactly ignore them when they were starting to roll down his cheeks like that. "I'm sorry, Mingyu. This is all my fault. Is there something that I can do to make things feel better?"  
"No, no," he started. His voice trembled slightly, putting Wonwoo on guard right away. He was ready to pounce as soon as his boyfriend showed signs that he was about to start crying, just so that the tears could be kept to an absolute minimum. The thought of Mingyu crying not only made him feel guilty but also reminded him that Mingyu was very humanistic in nature. It was as if they were the same for just a minute.

"It's just that..." And then he paused again. His eyebrows knitted together again - tighter this time - and Wonwoo noted that his cheeks were starting to flush. He was trying to figure out what he wanted to say but seemingly, none of the words really wanted to come out. A difficult situation for anyone, really, but one that was probably even more difficult when his boyfriend had so many restrictions already. "I think it's one of those situations that's gonna get me yelled at by the other gods again, you know."  
"Well, you're already showing me your face," Wonwoo pointed out as delicately as he could possibly manage. It was a fair point, seemingly, but it didn't really do much to make things feel better. After all, it was just a reminder that either way, Mingyu was going to be scolded by the other gods for the way in which he led their relationship. It seemingly tapped right in, though, because Mingyu caved right away. Wonwoo could see his walls visibly lowering as he gave in to the pressure, and then he finally gave a little sigh as he gave a nod of acknowledgement.

"I mentioned it to you before, remember? I told you that I wiped the memories of what I told you, but I..." Wonwoo could tell that things were getting increasingly difficult for him. He couldn't figure out what he could and couldn't say. What would make him slip up and tell everything, and what would help him to keep what he needed to hold back safe. So Wonwoo figured that the first step was to get him comfortable. As it was, the chances of anything intelligible coming out when he was already on edge were pretty damn slim. He took the god's wrist in his hand and led him to the bed, where he promptly sat and encouraged Mingyu to do the same. And so they were instantly that little bit more relaxed. It was hard not to be when the bed was so comfortable. Mingyu sank back against the wall and ran his hands over his face, then promptly continued with his story. "I think I should just skip right to it and tell you all of it now, just so that we can spare having this cat and mouse game every time you want to know something. You're going to have to die to be with me whether you like it or not, frankly. In that forest that has been appearing in your dream. Think of it as an initiation, if you will. You die in there and you'll get to join me."

It didn't quite make sense, as far as Wonwoo was concerned. He narrowed his eyes in response as he tried to figure it out on his own. The explanation sounded genuine, of course, but Mingyu's choice of words meant that the puzzle pieces didn't quite slot together perfectly. That much was obvious to Wonwoo, even if nothing else really was. So he tried his hardest to put his feelings towards it into words that made some sense. "In initiations, you have to do something to get the result. In the dream, though, I've been actively trying to avoid death. I've been running and trying my hardest to make it to sunrise. I don't know what's important about that, but I feel that you're not telling me something." Rumbled right away. He could see Mingyu's expression change a twitch. He seemingly hadn't expected Wonwoo to pick up on that on his own, but he didn't seem prepared to wave it away, especially since they were making time to talk about that sort of thing at that exact moment in time.  
"In this case, though, you win either way. You die, you come and join me. You make it to the morning and you'll suffer from a heart attack, only to join me as another immortal. In that case, you'll be the one to break the curse I'm under."

Breaking a curse. It sounded like a fairytale. Wonwoo was just about to point out how ridiculous it sounded, but Mingyu was quick to follow it up as soon as he saw the flicker of judgement on Wonwoo's face. "A metaphorical curse, that is. It's not like an evil witch took me when I was little and made sure that I was never able to experience love without my partner dying." And with that, he delicately pressed his fingertips to Wonwoo's shoulder so that he would be able to see the story again. The one that had been wiped from his mind. "If I get someone who doesn't die because of me, I'll get to keep them forever. And since you're all..." He caught himself again, hesitating as he tried to figure out whether that was too much information. His eyes narrowed ever so slightly as he considered the consequences of telling him, but then seemingly decided that it would have been revealing too much at once.

But Wonwoo was already confused. He didn't know what to do with himself at all. He needed to know how the god was going to finish off the sentence. Mingyu had committed to it by bringing it up now, and so he wasn't going to be able to drop the topic completely unless he had a legitimate reason for not finishing it. So Wonwoo pressed a hand to his boyfriend's thigh and looked him dead in the eyes as he made his request. "I want to know what you were going to say, please." And Mingyu looked uncomfortable right away. His eyes shifted around the room, as if he was trying to beg for the furniture to help him out, but then he eventually figured that there was no easy way of dropping the topic and let out a gentle sigh.  
"I can't tell you because it means that you'll know that I was lying to you when we first met."

It sounded ominous, if he was being completely honest. Really odd and suspicious. What sort of things did they even talk about when they first met? He considered asking for more details specifically, but then Mingyu reached forward silently to jog his memory. Just a little touch filled his head with the memories of their first encounter and a little snapshot of the moment in question, through Mingyu's eyes: _"Was I reincarnated from her or something?" He could feel a smile tickle around the corner of his lips as Wonwoo said it. A bright smile that left his face scrunching up cutely. He knew that Wonwoo was onto something and if he thought about the words correctly, he would have managed to work it out pretty damn quickly. He was a smart boy, after all, and Mingyu couldn't fault him on that at all.  
"Humans don't get reincarnated. It's just a fact of life. I'm sorry to tell you, but religion isn't quite right in that sort of sense._

"So I _am_ a reincarnation of everyone else? Why wouldn't you just tell me right away? I wouldn't have been offended over it."  
"Because you would've taken it personally. I know you better than you know yourself. See, you'd become a pawn and would live your life knowing that you've lived at least fourteen others. Your purpose would be to become my husband, rather than to live your life out and be your own person. And I don't want to see another person go through all of that. It's depressing." Wonwoo hesitated. Whilst he wanted to argue against that fact, he did have to admit that he would probably end up getting to that point. After all, he had imagined himself as a pawn at various points in his life as it was - having only the purpose of being Mingyu's future husband - and so it was hardly a stretch to imagine that he would be even worse if he was in a position where he was actually made to feel like a pawn right from the start. So he kept his mouth shut until the moment of shock had passed, and then promptly moved the topic forward when he had thought up how to do so.

"I'm guessing we're the reincarnation of the first girl, then? The one who was killed by her husband?" He watched as Mingyu flashed him an appreciative smile - one that suggested he was glad to have someone say that he wasn't the person who killed her - and then promptly gave a little nod. By that point, though, the smile had faded again and Mingyu was looking more serious again.  
"Yeah, your body contains Lihua's spirit. And I know how weird that probably sounds to you, but the other gods are bitter people and they wanted me to suffer. They wanted me to see the girl I killed dying every time I lost someone."  
"Are they trying to make her spirit suffer, too?" he asked quietly. It was a bit of a risky question compared to the others, seeing as it seemed more like it was based on opinion, rather than fact, but Mingyu simply licked his lips and gave a little shrug.  
"I don't know, but I wouldn't be surprised if that was the aim. You know, since she lost our baby then and they were putting her through that over and over again until I switched to guys."

Wonwoo's mind went blank for a second. He didn't really know what he could continue with, seeing as Mingyu had reminded him of something incredibly painful like that. The rain only grew heavier. "Did any of the others know about this before they died?" Another sour question. It left a bad taste in Wonwoo's mouth, but he figured that it was best that he got it out. And even more so when Mingyu didn't seem to be as bothered by it as he expected him to be.  
"No, you're the first. The fifteenth reincarnation and you're definitely the smartest. I think if I gave you enough time to figure it out whilst you were at university, you would've been able to tell me all of this on your own. But you need to know for your own sake, so I'm granting you that. Saying that, though, do you remember what I said about the memories being difficult to wipe from reincarnated humans? Well, I have a feeling that some of them knew some of the things that I'm currently telling you, but they might have thought that they were dreams instead of actually linking them to real life. They _do_ say that intelligence increases with every generation, so I wouldn't be surprised if they gradually started to work it out."

Although the story didn't feel complete still, it was great that he had received some closure. Still, Wonwoo still wasn't all too sure of how to take the news. He considered it for a moment, thinking it over and over in his mind, but then the more he thought about it, the more gaps there seemed to be. So he began to address them one by one in a fast-paced back and forth with the god. It was primarily to take the attention away from the death of Mingyu's lovers - and his past selves - so that they could put all of that behind them. "Why did the spirit suddenly shift into male hosts?"  
"When I was reincarnated myself, I thought I could escape my curse because I found that I was attracted solely to boys. The other gods sorted that part out for me pretty quickly."  
"Why do all of the early girls have traditional Chinese names but you have a modern Korean one?"  
"I was given the name by the people of the village. The characters they chose for my name mean 'precious star-like stone' and it was a direct reference to the statue in my temple."  
"What was your original name, then?"  
"I don't remember."

Then there was a pause. One just long enough for Wonwoo to wrap his head around the answers and for Mingyu to catch up with the flying thoughts. It was essentially an interrogation. Wonwoo could deny it all he wanted, but that was what it was. The questions were coming out before Mingyu had the chance to think about the answers, and it wasn't exactly fair on him to assume that he would be able to answer such things without preparation. Nevertheless, Wonwoo continued. "When are you going to ask me to marry you? Are there rules to state how long you have to wait before you ask me?" This time, he made sure to speak slower. This was one that probably needed a little bit more thought, he figured. There were probably some customs floating around, even if there weren't rules, and Mingyu probably needed a second to consider it. Strangely, though, he found that Mingyu simply tilted his head to one side and offered a little smile.  
"Oh, I mean, I could ask you now if I wanted to do that. It's not a big deal when I ask you because we both know that it'll happen eventually. But if you're looking for a ring or that bit of guaranteed security, I can get that sorted whenever."

Wonwoo didn't really expect that, but he was hardly complaining about it. After all, he figured that it would give him an excuse to move in with Mingyu as quickly as possible. An engagement was something that would surely push everything else that little bit quicker. So naturally, he milked the situation as much as possible. "Will you ask me properly now?"  
"What? I don't have anything to make it official, so you'll have to wait."  
"I don't care about a ring. I just want you to ask me properly." There was a long pause between them in which Mingyu seemingly realised that he was serious about it all, and so he ended up giving a little sigh.  
"I want to make it special. You know that couples don't just get married on a whim, right? I want to make sure that we have a great day that leads to a mindblowing engagement, if you'll allow me to do that." Wonwoo let out a grumble in response, choosing not to pursue it any further for the sake of avoiding seeing his boyfriend getting whiny over it.

"Can I ask more questions?" Wonwoo finally said. Mingyu let out a laugh, clearly feeling a little bit better about it all. Wonwoo noted how the rain was getting a bit lighter, even though it was still very much there.  
"Come on, we have the rest of our lives together. Why would you want me to tell you everything now? I've told you all about your past and everything, and I'm sure that more will come out eventually." He shifted his weight slightly so that he could support his body with one hand, then promptly slipped a hand over to touch Wonwoo's. Of course, Wonwoo allowed him to grab his hand right away and gave a gentle squeeze. He couldn't help but give a little smile as he did so, realising right away that Mingyu's fuzziness was still gone. He was touching skin that felt humanistic, and he absolutely loved that. It meant that he could feel that little bit closer to Mingyu, and he could treat what they had like he would any other relationship.

"One last question," he whispered as he shuffled closer to Mingyu. He almost - _almost_ \- dared to touch his head to Mingyu's shoulder, but then backed out at the last minute and simply pressed their arms together instead.  
"Hm?"  
"Can you stay with me again tonight?" The question wasn't greeted with an immediate response, which Wonwoo figured probably meant that he wasn't going to get what he wanted. There wasn't so much as a smile to work with, even though it was hardly the most complex question in the world. Finally, though, Mingyu gave a little sigh and reached over with his spare hand to stroke Wonwoo's hair.  
"You already probably know what I'm gonna say, don't you? I'm pretty sure that the other gods are gonna chew my ear off about what I've told you and what I've shown you, so I don't think I'll be able to stay here tonight. I don't know how long it'll take and the last thing that I really need is to wake you up in the middle of the night."

Admittedly, Wonwoo's response to that was pretty damn childish. He wasn't happy with it at all, though. There was no denying that in the slightest. After all, he was certain that the other gods shouldn't mind by that point. They were dictating every other aspect of his life, so there was no real point in them scolding him over yet another thing. That was the true punishment, as far as Wonwoo was concerned. Being forced to live through what he was living through and still being unable to talk to anyone about it. Having his life mapped out by people who were still bitter about the fact that the woman he was cheating with lost her life. Making sure that Mingyu was constantly in a state where he felt miserable. And Wonwoo hated it more than he could possibly describe. So he pouted. He let his eyebrows knit together and stuck his lower lip out slightly to show how much he hated it. He let the hand that was on Mingyu's go limp and proceeded to stare Mingyu down until he felt that the god was ready to hear what he had to say about it.

"If you ignore them and stay down here, what can they do about it? Come into my bedroom and drag you out? I doubt it if you're cuddling me."  
"Wonwoo," he replied with an exasperated laugh, "That's not the point. They'll have more fodder if I leave it until tomorrow, you know."  
"They're gonna have more fodder either way. I want to be cuddled tonight because I think we're both feeling fragile." And it was true. Wonwoo thought that he would feel great after having heard everything from his boyfriend. He was convinced that things would be great and he would be able to live his life feeling satisfied with everything that had gone on around him. But he didn't. He felt as if he had fallen down a rabbit hole and had been stuck there. And likewise, he figured that Mingyu probably felt the same way.

After all, even though Mingyu was a god and would have experienced a lot of scolding in his time, he had also pointed out that he hadn't told any of the others about the things that they had gone through in their previous lives. He hadn't told them about his past or how he became a god, and he probably hadn't shown them what he looked like without his fuzzy features either. Wonwoo had learnt all of that in the space of a few months. All of the little details that Mingyu had accidentally revealed, the beauty of his face - even though he had forgotten exactly what it looked like as soon as they parted - and the memories of his past. Having laid all of his cards on the table for Wonwoo to see his most vulnerable side, it must have taken a good amount of strength and so he was probably feeling just as fragile as Wonwoo did when he sat back and thought it through.

Saying that, he did try to protest at the start. A number of excuses about how he had to get things done or how Wonwoo would see him again shortly, or even a suggestion that Wonwoo would be able to join him soon enough so they could knock it back a notch and start taking baby steps again. It would ensure that their love still felt magical when Wonwoo finally joined him, he said, and so it was worth bringing back the tiniest little bit of touch starvation so that they would be able to work from it. But then when Wonwoo blandly informed him that he wasn't going to sit there and spend hours trying to convince him to stay if he really didn't want to be there, Mingyu's tone changed very suddenly. He suddenly decided that he wanted to stay and that it was for the best that he did, seeing as the other gods were going to butcher him if he went back there. And so Wonwoo flashed him the sweetest smile possible and Mingyu was putty in his hands right away.

Being together in his room like that was comforting for Wonwoo. He found that it helped to calm down his stress quite significantly and genuinely gave him a reason to continue. Not that he was actually going to take his life like he said he would but rather, when it came to his university degree. It became a goal for him once again - something for him to strive for - and so he set out to get a head-start on it. Whenever possible, he would sneak to the library during errands so that he could grab a literature book to read. It would be stored at the bottom of the bags so that his parents wouldn't find out that he had taken a detour, and he was incredibly thankful that the librarian promised to keep it a secret so long as he was getting educational books. He began to pack up whatever belongings that he could manage in a suitcase that Mingyu strategically placed behind the temple, where Wonwoo was able to reach without raising too much suspicion, and then he left it in Fei's room so that he could take it to the train station when he finally left.

Days continued to pass at a constant rate. With the new passion for life and determination to continue, he was able to make it through by avoiding his parents as much as possible. He stopped rebelling as much, started to keep things clean after himself so that there was no excuse for his mother to go to his room and complain about it, and generally just tried to stay quiet so that they wouldn't really know that he was in the house. It meant that they gave him just a tiny bit more freedom, having decided that he was improving his attitude at a much quicker rate than they imagined, and then his mother quite obviously tried to fix things with him after a few weeks. Of course, he played along with it and told her through a fake smile that it was all fine and he completely understood why he was being punished. He tried his hardest to make it sound as if it was his fault and that he was sorry for that, and so her guard was down when he finally left.

He had noted where the house keys were being hidden during the day, and then promptly left once everyone was in bed. He would be spending the night at the temple, and then he would leave for university in the early morning. It would be at around six o'clock, he decided, which would give him the opportunity to avoid people too. So he scrawled a quick note on a sheet of paper, stating that he was leaving to go to university and wouldn't be coming back, and then he promptly started on his way to the temple.

It was a relief that it was quiet on the way there. Granted, it gave the village an intimidating aura when it was pitch-black and there were no people around, but he figured that it would be perfectly fine. After all, he had done it a number of times in the past and this was the only time that he had ever been nervous about doing so. Perhaps it was linked to the fact that he hadn't been out on his own in quite some time, or that he was nervously anticipating the next adventure in his life. Regardless of what the answer was, he ignored it and proceeded on to the temple right away, where he took Fei's bed for the night. For the first time, though, he felt a true connection to the girl. He had felt that something was there in the past, of course, but this was something different. He could sense that they were one person; that he had a little piece of her inside of him. Perhaps her nature was shining through his body and that was why he had decided to give things one last chance. Whether or not that was the case, he was going to consider it as such.

And so, by the morning, he felt as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. As if his confidence was back and he was a better person. It was the start of a new chapter in his life, and he was happy to be able to go through it all with Mingyu. It was bizarre to think that just a year before that day, he had essentially given up on the god and was planning on living his life how he wanted. But he decided that there was no other way that he would have it. After all, in the space of a year, he had changed so much that he would be almost unrecognisable to the people who had known him back then. In some ways, he had matured and become more of an adult. He was in an adult relationship and had taken the initiative to sort out his own future as much as possible. In other ways, he had loosened up a bit. He was able to bring some elements of playfulness into his relationship, thanks to Mingyu's occasional childish outbursts, and he had quickly come to realise that being the future husband of a god didn't mean that he needed to be uptight and stuffy for the rest of his life.

It meant that he was able to feel a bit more optimistic as he made his way to the train station and eventually took his seat onboard the carriage. The nerves were still there, to a degree, but they gradually trickled away the closer he got to his university. He was sure that the experience was going to be worth it, he didn't have anyone to stop him from reaching his goals now that he had finally traded village life for the big city, and he was determined to make Mingyu proud more than anything else. So he stormed into the place with his suitcase grasped tightly in his hand and his head held high, and he made his way straight to his assigned room so that he could start getting his belongings unpacked. Admittedly, he was relieved to find that he hadn't been assigned a roommate up until that point, since the person who was going to take the second bed in the room had dropped out at the last minute, and so he didn't even have to feel worried about how few belongings he had at the start. No, he could focus on other things, like registering with the student union, getting his welcome pack, and generally just settling into the place.

So that was what he did. He went ahead and got himself ahead of the crowd. He made sure that he knew where the lecture rooms were and navigated his way around the main building until he was certain that he was able to find things without too much difficulty at all. He located the toilets, the cafeteria, the gym, and everything else in between. He had a list of his lecturers' names, a checklist of books that he could buy to support his studies, and a wad of guides around the city for students who didn't really know the area all that well. And that led him to spend his first few days exploring the nearby area so that he could get used to the fact that he was living in a city. Everything was a lot bigger than he was used to, after all, and so it would certainly take a lot for him to not be so bothered by that anymore.

All in all, he was feeling a lot better about things by the end of their "Welcome Week". He was unbelievably grateful for the fact that Mingyu hadn't simply taken him and left him regretting the fact that he wasn't able to take his degree, and he couldn't help but feel like a true adult when he was there. He had a very sudden feeling that he was able to do anything that was required of him, and he was able to approach the world from the perspective of a person who had actual life experience now. Living away from home was completely different to living with his parents and now that he was in a position where he was no longer in contact with them, he had just three options if he didn't know how to progress: ask a friend, search it up on one of the university's computers, or throw himself in at the deep end.

It was the start of something great for Jeon Wonwoo and he was excited to be able to see how he progressed as both an individual and a scholar. He was going to make every second worth it so that Mingyu could see how much his decision to make him stay had actually helped, and he was going to get the top grades in his degree so that he could prove to everyone - especially the other gods - that he was the perfect person to be with Mingyu as an immortal.


	22. Chapter 22

Wonwoo had to admit it; university wasn't half as easy as he imagined it would be. Not in the sense that he was finding the work too difficult or anything, but in the sense that he didn't just settle in like he imagined he would.

He thought that it would be easy enough. He was starting a new course and everyone else would be in the same position. They would be encouraged to make friends with each other, and so he would end up finding someone who would bond with him quite well. They didn't have to be interested in the same things because the reality of adult relationships was that a lot of people weren't interested in all of the same things. They just needed to be willing to be friends. And that would be simple enough when they were sitting near each other and both - or all - in a position where they genuinely wanted nothing more than to have someone as social support. Wonwoo thought that by the end of the first week, he would have at least one person to sit with in the cafeteria; someone who he could go for walks with, or who he could get to know. He wanted someone who he could talk to about his life as he tried to figure it out, and someone who would tell him about their own experiences.

The reality of the matter was that it wasn't that easy at all. For starters, his university experience started with a sort of welcome week, which he had been anticipating for weeks but had somehow forgotten when he was in the mix of it all. The whole point of it was to get everyone familiar with the university, the city, and each other. A way of getting everyone to make friends right away before the nerves were allowed to set in too much. He was only reminded when there was a notice in their halls to pick up their timetables, and so he went over there to find that there was still a full week to go before his classes started. And whilst he wasn't all too fond of the idea of meeting new people in that sort of environment, he figured that it was the only real way forward. Perhaps it would allow him to meet new people from different courses, which would ultimately broaden out his horizons and allow him to bond with people he wouldn't have met otherwise. Even if it _wasn't_ his sort of environment, he threw himself in it head-first and decided right away that he was going to make the absolute most out of it.

So he signed up to everything. Since there was no obligation to attend any of the events again during the term, he figured that there was no harm in trying them out and seeing if he enjoyed the activities and the people. He tried out all of the clubs that were running events during the week. All of the groups that caught his interest, even if the interest was very minor. Welcome sessions for his course so that he could meet his tutors and seniors over snacks and drinks. A course-wide meal to encourage conversation and drinking with some of the new students from around the university. The trips around the city, which sought to make him familiar with everything that was going on around him. He was desperate to get something out of the week, so he pushed it as far as possible. He pushed it until he was almost ill because he hadn't really been looking after his health all that much and fortunately, his classes started on the Wednesday instead of the Monday, meaning that he was able to rest up a bit before he had to immerse himself in the learning. Had it not been for that, he wouldn't have really known what to do with himself. He had started the week feeling fresh and new, and by the end he was feeling the effects of the bugs that people had brought with them and the inevitable hangover, just to top it all off.

Admittedly, he did meet a lot of new people during the opening week's events. He found a lot of people who were confident enough to chat with him, he had a couple of people dancing with him when they all went out to the clubs in the nearby area, and then one person gave him their phone number. It had been given alongside a suggestive comment that they should find the time to meet up, suggesting to Wonwoo that they intended on making something personal of it and so despite the flattery, he bowed deeply and apologised. "I'm engaged," he told them politely, which obviously disappointed them a fair bit. When he saw that look on the person's face, Wonwoo immediately considered caving and telling them that the engagement wasn't official - as if it would change anything - but then they changed their mind and told him that he could just have it as a friend then.  
"Maybe we'll see each other around campus or one of us will just be in need of a person to talk to when we're feeling down," they suggested, and Wonwoo figured right away that he couldn't deny them that. "Besides, your fiance isn't going to be able to be here all the time, so you'll probably need some social support around here too."

Considering that all of that went pretty well, he had anticipated that he would be able to make proper friends quite easily. He was the first to arrive at the lecture hall on the first day of classes, and so he picked a convenient seat in the centre of the room. According to his calculations, it was the perfect spot to sit in if he wanted to make friends. It meant that people weren't having to push past him to sit on the other side, and more people were likely to sit around him. Some might take a seat in front of him or behind, and it was likely that at least a couple of students would take the seats on either side of him too. Strategically, it made a lot of sense for him to sit there. He was confident that it would earn him some friends, but he still tried his hardest to make himself look even more approachable by smiling at people and giving off warm vibes as they entered the room. Just a little flash with nothing too intense or intimidating, and then he would look away as if to show them that he wouldn't be offended if they did choose to sit elsewhere in the room.

Admittedly, he was a little bit nervous when people started making their way into the lecture hall. He had a sudden feeling that he hadn't quite done well enough to invite people over because a lot of them were sitting as far away from him as possible. Mostly either right at the back or right at the front of the room. And it wasn't even as if they weren't noticing him sat there in the middle, waiting for someone to join him. They would make eye contact with him as they intentionally picked a seat as far away as possible. There wasn't so much as an apologetic smile as they avoided him; their expressions were generally deadpan or cold, and their heads snapped away with such speed that Wonwoo thought that their heads would ultimately snap off their bodies. With every person who did that, Wonwoo felt his confidence drop that little bit more. Was it that he didn't fit in, or was he genuinely intimidating? Did they not like him or something? He didn't really know what the issue was, and it only got worse when the people who did sit on the same row as him stayed on the end seats, leaving him isolated in the centre of the room.

It felt disproportionally humiliating. It shouldn't have bothered him that much, but Wonwoo felt a dull pain in his chest as he simply got on with the lecture. He listened to the lecturer and took his notes, and that was about it. The thoughts of his humiliation were pushed to the back of his mind as much as possible, just so that he didn't end up falling behind on the first day because of it. And then as soon as the session was over, he was straight out of the room. No hesitation at all. He just fled as quickly as possible so that he could have time to think over what he had experienced. He hadn't really expected that other people would be so reluctant to speak to him still, even though he was an adult and they were adults and none of them knew about his relationship with Mingyu. That was what had sparked that sort of attitude when he was younger, but there was absolutely no reason for it to be happening when he was older. It just crushed him, if he was being honest. It reinforced the idea that he was the sort of person that had no friends and would never really have them either.

Whilst he didn't want to get too emotional over that sort of thing, he didn't really know what he could do otherwise. He felt himself starting to tear up with frustration as he made his way back to his room and sat there for a while in silence. Of course, it didn't take too long for Mingyu to come out and try to comfort him, but Wonwoo insisted that he didn't need anyone there to support him and instead, he just wanted to be alone for a while. Of course, he appreciated the gesture and all, but the last thing he really wanted was to be in a position where he was falling back into old habits. He no longer wanted to avoid other people. He wanted to think about how he could make friends without relying on Mingyu to be his only source of social interaction. And whilst he knew that it was going to be a difficult task, he knew that it had to be done. After all, if he was going to be there for four years, he didn't want to be in a position where he was only able to talk to Mingyu. That would be the case for the rest of his life anyway, so he figured that he should have at least a few years where he broke the rut.

So he made a plan for what he was going to do. He would spend all of his time outside of his bedroom. That room was only going to be there for him to sleep. He wasn't allowed to enter it unless he was incredibly tired or he was going back there after all of the social areas closed. The places he aimed to frequent included the cafeteria, the library, the computer room, and the game room. He would sometimes stretch it a bit further by going to a club or bar, and perhaps he might spend a bit of time in the gym too, just to make sure that he was broadening his horizons that little bit more. He would try his hardest to chat with new people, and he would do anything it took to get close to other people. Perhaps he would even go to the head of accommodation and request that someone share a room with him. That would certainly take away a little bit of loneliness if he did need to stay in his room for whatever reason.

Starting on Thursday morning, he decided that he would get on top of it right away. He started the day out by sitting on the edge of the row and trying his best to greet everyone with smiles again. He was a lot more enthusiastic that time, even though he was feeling a lot more nervous than he needed to be. He couldn't show that he was already desperate to make a couple of friends, so he attempted to be as friendly as possible. A little bit of openness would go a long way, as far as he was concerned. Thankfully, he found that the plan had worked right away and there were a few more people sat nearby, but none of them really spoke to him. As a result, he spent a few minutes building himself up and then spoke to them instead. He leant forward on his chair and gently cleared his throat before speaking. "Excuse me, my pen stopped working. Do you happen to have a spare one that I could borrow for this session please?" The person in front snapped around very quickly, looking incredibly intimidated as they did so, but that bit of nervousness dried up in a matter of seconds when Wonwoo explained exactly what he wanted. They turned back to their bag and rummaged around for a minute before passing one back to him.

Wonwoo's adrenaline kicked in right away. He could feel his heart starting to thud hard in his chest, and he could feel the anxiety in his throat. But he'd done it. He'd spoken to someone, and he was shakily using their pen to write notes. He tried his hardest to focus on his work, but the words that he had said started to flood his mind right away. The way in which he had managed to make someone chat with him. From that point onwards, he was going to be able to get where he wanted to be, he decided. He was going to have at least one interaction with someone every day, even if it was asking for a pen. He pushed through the session as much as possible, making sure to hand the pen back at the end and ask the other student how they found the class. They smiled and told him that it was a bit of a heavy session but they were going to go back to their room and revise for a while so that they could take it in that little bit easier. Wonwoo agreed and informed them that he was planning on going to go to the library so that he could do the same thing.

Even though they parted ways and didn't speak again the following session, Wonwoo found that it was the encounter that made things a hell of a lot easier for him. Whilst he was in the library, he found that it was easy enough to chat with the person next to him a little bit. He intended on being quiet to start with, since he had quite a lot of work to do, but then the person nearest to him slowly slipped a punnet of blueberries in his direction. Wonwoo looked up at them, making eye contact for a brief moment, and so they gently nudged the punnet that bit closer to encourage him to indulge himself. "You can have some, if you'd like," the person whispered softly to him, trying their hardest to avoid getting disapproving glares from the other students who were around them. "Think of it as a reward for actually doing work when you know full well that half of the people in here are just watching videos on YouTube or playing video games." Wonwoo thanked them and took a couple, but figured that it was best not to overdo it. There was a brief period of silence between them, and then the person slowly turned to him again.

"I'm really sorry to disturb you when you're working really hard, but are do you take Korean language or literature or something? I think I remember seeing you going into the building last week. You have a very handsome face, after all, and it's hard to forget." Wonwoo could feel his cheeks going a little bit pink, but he gave a nod nonetheless. He didn't really know where it was going, but he figured that he had already dealt with everything from polite chatter to love confessions that stemmed from that sort of conversation opener before so it was always going to be something that he could deal with when he found out where it was going.  
"Are you in that class too?" The person shook their head and gave an apologetic smile. Their cheeks flushed too, and then they dipped their head slightly.  
"I was just wondering if you would be able to help me with an element of my grammar and language for an assignment, please. Korean isn't my first language, so I'm struggling to figure out the difference between putting 'an' before a verb and putting 'ji anayo' after the verb. Does it change the meaning of the sentence at all?"

It was a huge surprise that another student would ask him for help like that, but Wonwoo was actually quite happy that he was able to help out with that sort of thing. After all, he had gone into the library thinking that he would be silent the entire time but would ultimately end up being able to interact with other students on his way out. He didn't really think that anyone else would want help during his private study time. Saying that, though, he was glad that someone had spoken to him, and so he sat with them and explained the implications of the different grammar points to them until they said that they felt a lot more confident in using them within their assignments. The interaction may have been brief, but it really made Wonwoo feel as if he was getting to seem more inviting and that was a great sign. Perhaps it was his initial nerves that were affecting his ability to function when he first started that. Once he got past his nerves, it seemed a hell of a lot easier for both him and others to initiate conversation. So his plan was just to continue. Continue what he was doing, continue to encourage conversation, and continue building relationships with the other people around him whenever he had the chance to do so.

Quite understandably, though, Wonwoo found that after a couple of weeks of trying his hardest to be social, it turned out that he couldn't keep it up to the same standard that it had been when he first started. He found that it was incredibly taxing to have to do that sort of thing, especially since he was trying to balance a million things at once. His ban on going into his room got to him a little more than he thought it would, especially since he found that there were a few days in which he really just needed to go back there and escape social interactions. But he was a man who stuck to his decisions and so he continued with the plan to stay out of his room as much as possible. Besides, he knew that if he got into the habit of it, he would start resorting to going back to his room more and more and wouldn't be able to bring himself to interact with people on a regular basis again. So he proceeded to push it and push it until he was eventually in a position where he was running himself into the ground. His health wasn't taking it, and he found that he was genuinely starting to dread all of the interactions on a daily basis.

Perhaps it had been too much at once. Maybe he should have taken a step back when he realised that it was affecting him, just so that he was able to recover enough to be able to get where he needed to be. After all, he hadn't really had any friends whilst he was living with his parents, so this was an entirely new experience for him. He didn't really know how to react to having friends who he saw on a daily basis, and he didn't know how to be around other people when they were on one of the two social extremes: either they would be making small-talk and would be taking infuriatingly tiny steps in their conversation, or they would be talking about something that was so personal that it made things uncomfortable for him. Of everyone that he had interacted with whilst he was still living at home, he had only really managed to make friends with Soonyoung and his boyfriend and they hadn't really had that sort of situation with him. Soonyoung had been very social but not intrusive, and his boyfriend had been pretty down-to-earth too. It meant that he was unprepared for the reality of varied personalities, though, and so the interactions quickly became even more uncomfortable for him.

Then there was the fact that he wouldn't really consider any of the people who he spoke with to be his friends as such. As much as he wanted to say that he had lots of friends, he knew that that wasn't the case when he thought about it rationally. He couldn't really say that someone was a friend if he just interacted with them once to exchange note-taking materials. He couldn't say that the people who chatted with him at the library really counted as friends either. As far as Wonwoo was concerned, the term was reserved for people who he interacted with on a semi-regular basis, and it also required that he know basic details about them like their name and age. Of course, he didn't really expect to know much about someone who he had only recently met, but there were still a few things that came out in the first few conversations when someone was a proper friend. And if he was being honest with himself, he didn't know any of that information about the people he'd been speaking with over the weeks. He had probably found out one person's name, and that was found out from a quick glance at their phone instead of actually asking them so he didn't really think that that counted so much either.

Actually, it bothered him more than he would really let on, even to Mingyu. Despite his attempts at making actual friends, the majority of Wonwoo's interactions didn't result in him making friends. They gained him acquaintances at most, and that was arguably worse than not having anyone at all. At least if he didn't know anyone, there was no obligation for him to acknowledge people when they passed him. He wouldn't necessarily get the urge to talk to people, and he wouldn't be in a position where he felt awkward because he was stood next to someone he'd spoken to before but hadn't really gotten to know. It was easy to disregard strangers, even if he was stood right next to them whilst he waited for the lecture room to become available, but disregarding people he knew seemed incredibly rude. Saying that, though, regarding them and having them feeling uncomfortable because they didn't really know him too well also seemed to be pretty rude, as far as Wonwoo was concerned.

So he ended up distancing himself a little bit after just a month or two of being at the university. He went right back into his shell as he realised that he was even lonelier when surrounded by people he knew but didn't know _well enough_ and then promptly scrapped his rules for his bedroom. He decided that he was going to start retiring that little bit earlier, perhaps spending more time studying in his bedroom, and he would set aside maybe a few nights a week to actually interact with people. His time spent in the library was minimal, since he knew that he would be tempted to chat with people even though it was clear that most students in there were busy, and he would instead go to coffee shops, where he would be able to choose whether he wanted to interact with people or not. It would probably make him feel a bit better about not having proper friends, he figured, since it would surely put him in a position where he could pretend that his lack of interaction was coming from the fact that he just wasn't around all that much anymore, or that he was starting to frequent in areas where he wasn't obliged to make much conversation.

But then the distancing continued, gradually increasing until he was going straight back to his room as soon as his classes were over and would stay there until dinner or even the following morning. He supposed that he felt that continuing was pointless, after all. Everyone had made their friends by that point in time, and friendships like that were pretty set in stone. It was the basics of social psychology; joining in with a group that was already formed and established was a difficult task, unless someone was coming in as a complete outsider and the group chose to take them under their wing. They were all getting to know each other, as if they had been friends for years but were only just meeting again after having been separated for a long period of time. Wonwoo, on the other hand, was still left in a position where Mingyu was his only friend. And it was lonely. It really was. A sort of lonely that made him feel as if there was no way of escaping it, other than leaving university altogether.

Of course, Wonwoo was a little bit hesitant to suggest such a thing when his boyfriend had paid for him to go to university. Just a few weeks beforehand, they had been discussing the fact that he was going to get his degree before joining him. And he still wanted that. He wanted to make Mingyu proud and give him something to brag about when he finally joined him and the other gods. He wanted his parents to eventually track him down - or maybe his cousins or something - and find out that he had succeeded in life before his inevitable departure from the world of the living. But it just seemed like the sort of thing that would ruin him in the end. He didn't want to spend the rest of his life feeling miserable because he had no friends still. He didn't want to be in a position where everyone else was going enjoying meeting milestones in their friendships, like staying out late and going out clubbing together, only to find that he was observing from the sidelines without ever having the chance to experience that sort of thing.

He must have spent a good few weeks considering the pros and cons of it all, and then eventually brought it up with Mingyu when he had come to the conclusion that it was for the best to simply scrap the degree and spend the rest of his life actually feeling as if he had some worth. He asked for the god to go to his room and then invited him to sit on the edge of the bed before reaching forward to grab his hands in his own. "Mingyu," Wonwoo said softly, taking note of the fact that Mingyu seemed to know what was going to be discussed right away, "I really need to talk to you about something."  
"It's about being here, isn't it?" Mingyu asked without hesitance. Wonwoo tried his hardest not to seem surprised, figuring that it would reveal the game a little bit too quickly if he did so. Instead, he gave a weak smile and proceeded to stroke Mingyu's knuckles with his thumbs.

"You already know that I'm neither comfortable nor happy here. I'm trying my hardest and I've tried giving it a chance, but I don't really know what to do anymore. I want to make friends, but I just can't seem to get anyone to interact with me for more than a few minutes at a time. Do you understand why I don't want to be here anymore?"  
"Are you not enjoying your course either?" Mingyu asked. Wonwoo bit his lip.  
"I'm enjoying it, but I know that I'm going to struggle a lot if I don't have any friends to get me through the experience."  
"Well, I'm here for you and I'm sure that you'll end up making friends eventually by just being around people. Humans are social animals and they tend to be compelled to interact with the people who frequent the same places that they frequent, you know. It won't be long before people start talking to you because they see you a lot."

Wonwoo scrunched his nose up in distaste. He should have known that Mingyu would be so direct about that sort of thing. After all, they had made their agreement and it wasn't as if Wonwoo hated every aspect of the university experience, so it wasn't like it was all a mistake. If it had been, Wonwoo guessed that it would have been a different story, but Mingyu certainly wasn't going to let him get out of the argument without discussing the fact that it wasn't all bad. "You know, I think you can pull through this," he told him with a smile. "I trust that you're able to make friends as you go along, and I really don't think it's going to be as bad as you think it is. You know, if you don't have anyone to tie you down in your final year, you're not gonna need to worry about neglecting your social relationships in order to study." It was a fair point, but Wonwoo pouted nonetheless. He didn't want Mingyu to start getting logical with him. He wanted to have an instant solution and the solution that he wanted was to be able to get away from it all so that the didn't need to worry about the lack of friends.

"I want to be with you," he insisted, trying his hardest not to sound too whiny or anything. He offered up the slightest pout and Mingyu simply stared at him in silence for a long moment.  
"Wonwoo, we can't just do that. We've been through this before. For starters, you're too far away from the village for us to be able to get you there and make you go through the initiation. Secondly, we agreed that we're going to get you through university before you join me. I haven't made the necessary arrangements that would allow you to join me just yet." Wonwoo's pout turned into a scowl and he promptly turned his head away. He didn't want to have to hear it. It was the sort of thing that made it seem as if Mingyu was disregarding his discomfort, and Wonwoo really hated that. Of course, Mingyu immediately noticed the fact that he was in the middle of having a tantrum over it all, and so he ran a hand through his hair as he let out a long sigh. It was a sigh of irritation, more than anything, and Wonwoo could tell that right away.

"Look, I want you to be able to join me too but an agreement is an agreement. I can't just drop everything and have you come to live with me. It's not that simple when I have to spend time preparing everything and getting the help of the other gods to set your initiation up. You have to understand that sometimes things aren't as simple as you think they are, and so you can't just make up your mind and want something to come into effect immediately."  
"Are you arguing with me, Mingyu?" Wonwoo asked as he slowly turned his way back towards the god. "Because it sounds like you're starting to raise your voice with me, and I don't like that."  
"Then stop being such a brat about this! You can't just quite your course because you have no friends! Soonyoung is studying in Seoul too, and I'm sure he wouldn't be against seeing you when you both have the time. And besides, I've already told you that things don't come immediately. If you're not used to having friends, you're not gonna step foot on campus and have forty friends on the spot."

Wonwoo didn't like that answer either. His arms crossed tightly over his chest, showing off how much he hated the fact that his boyfriend was trying to come up with alternative solutions, and then promptly turned his head away again. This time, though, he chose not to speak. The silent treatment wasn't something that he thought was very fair, based on how poorly it went down when his mother tried it on his father, but it certainly got results every time that he had seen it come into play. In particular, he figured that it would work amazingly well on Mingyu. He was the sort of person who only functioned well when he had good social relationships, and so Wonwoo figured that he would really be bothered if he ignored him. It was pretty typical when he thought about it, actually. Mingyu was telling him that he shouldn't concern himself with the lack of social relationships that he was having, but he would have certainly responded in the exact same way if he was in the same situation.

As expected, it didn't take long for him to start getting irritated with Wonwoo over it. He tried absolutely everything to get a response out of him. He started off by telling him that he was just going to leave, and then he proceeded to try to reason with him when Wonwoo didn't reply to the threat. He tried telling Wonwoo that he didn't stand for any childish behaviour, and then quickly caved and got just as whiny and pathetic as he told him that he didn't like being ignored like that. It affected him a lot, he said, and it was quickly getting to the point where he was feeling fragile. And then there was a long pause, in which Wonwoo tried his hardest to keep up what he was doing and Mingyu seemingly tried to figure out what he was going to say next. That silence suggested to Wonwoo that he was about to get what he wanted - after all, Mingyu was hardly the sort who would be firm with his decisions if he was under pressure like that - and then finally, he let out an exasperated noise before resuming with the conversation.

"Fine, fine. I'll make you a deal," he announced. Wonwoo allowed the temptation to get the better of him. He slowly turned his head back around to where his boyfriend was sitting to show that he was ready to hear what had to be said, and then he gradually opened up his body language. "I'm going to give you one more month. In that month, I want to see you trying to make some friends again. Actively trying. I'll be watching you the entire time to make sure that you're trying hard enough, and the deal will be void if I think you haven't been trying. If you're still feeling miserable and don't want to be here in a month, I can't deny you any longer. We'll take a trip back to the village and your initiation will take place. Does that sound fair to you?"

It wasn't perfect. It certainly wasn't anywhere _near_ perfect. But Wonwoo figured that it was the best that he was going to get so he promptly accepted the offer. He seriously doubted that he would be able to make any friendships that were meaningful enough to change his mind in the space of a month, so it was a pretty safe bet for him. And it didn't even matter that much that he wasn't going to be able to finish his degree. He would simply continue his studies using Mingyu's library.

He was going to get what he wanted and that would be the end of it.


	23. Chapter 23

Wonwoo woke up in the forest again.

This time, he was surprised to find that he was wearing the clothes he fell asleep in. Whilst it could have been the case that it was just a regular dream, as always, it would have also made sense if it was the real thing. If it was his way of getting with Mingyu finally and indefinitely. He even double- and triple-checked that it was the exact same pair of pyjamas, since it seemed too good to believe, but it was definitely the same ones. So he started doing what he needed to do. The things that he did in every other dream. He started on his way to find a safe place and then planned his route out properly. It was something that he had intended on doing whilst he was alone at night but he had always been too busy for it. Now was the perfect time, though. He had plenty of time until morning came, after all.

He was thrilled by it. They had been chatting about it for a few days, after all. Wonwoo had been trying his hardest to get where he needed to be in his classes and peer relationships, but it quite simply wasn't happening. Admittedly, he wasn't really trying as hard as he probably should have been, though. If he genuinely wanted to make friends, he would have pushed for people to talk to him more. But he hadn't been doing that. He had been doing just enough for Mingyu to be satisfied without actually making proper contact with people in the process. A sneaky move, but it was his way of getting what he wanted. And if he needed to play dirty in order to get where he wanted, so be it. He would play as dirty as possible without raising suspicion, and he would do so in a way that would leave Mingyu frustrated as he tried to figure out how his plan hadn't worked out in the slightest.

The first step was to chat with people during lectures. Wonwoo had researched it quite extensively. It was a way to make friends without actually making friends. He would spend time getting to know little bits about them, but it would be those student things. What classes were they taking? Were they a part of any clubs? What building were they living in during the term time? Where were they from in Korea? Just those sorts of questions where it seemed as if he was getting to know them but actually wasn't learning that much new information at all. He didn't even know their name, for example. If Mingyu asked him, he could honestly tell him that he didn't even know that much about the person. The thing was, if he just sat next to someone in his classes but didn't actually get to know them as a friend, there was nothing that Mingyu could really do about it. He would just have to accept that they weren't really friends and the plan to make them bond had failed.

He could do the exact same thing when he was in the library and again in the local cafes. Enough conversation to make it look as if he was trying, but not enough to actually make him some friends. The bonus was that he wouldn't even have the chance to meet most of those people again. They would probably go to those places occasionally, but they wouldn't make a habit of it and the variety in timetables meant that they almost certainly wouldn't be in those places at the same times every time. It made relationships that couldn't be maintained, but Mingyu seemingly didn't get that at all. After all, it wasn't the sort of relationship that he was used to seeing. None of his previous partners had ever been to university, so it wasn't something that he had ever seen before and Wonwoo seriously doubted that he had taken the time to research something like that when it wasn't happening in front of him.

Admittedly, Wonwoo could see that his boyfriend was getting increasingly frustrated the more he saw it happening in front of him. He continued to encourage Wonwoo, informing him that maybe next time he would be able to get somewhere with it, but the result was always the same. Well, for the most part. There were a few people who did want to take the conversation further, but it wasn't really in ways that Wonwoo was happy with taking it. For example, the odd person asked him if he had social media and Wonwoo told them that he didn't have it at all. Not even the basic sorts or an email account, other than the one that was assigned to him by the university. They had tried to encourage him to make one, and then promptly got annoyed with him when he said that he didn't want to have any forms of social media. At that point, things took a turn for the worst and those people didn't really want to have any long-term friendship with him anymore.

Then there were the few who wanted more than friendship out of it. He had received a couple of requests to hook up with people but had ultimately rejected them. Of course, that was the only response that he could really give when he was dating a god and they were planning on moving in together soon enough. What else could he have done? Accepted the request and then simply not show up? It could have landed him in even more trouble, and he couldn't really deal with that. It was the sort of thing that would have not only caused issues with the person themselves - and with the fact that he wasn't really out to people, even though it was obvious to a lot of the gay and bisexual students that he was interested in guys - but it would have also caused some tensions with Mingyu. And that wasn't something that Wonwoo really wanted to risk. Especially not if they had that promise about what would happen if he didn't end up making a friend within the allocated timeslot. Wonwoo already knew that it wasn't going to happen, but he couldn't stand the thought of Mingyu telling him that he wasn't allowed to take him up on the offer anymore because he had been too forward with another guy or something.

And frankly, Mingyu was always very thankful when Wonwoo skipped out on those sorts of friendships. It was always something that was aired when they were on their own. Mingyu was always very nervous about bringing that sort of thing up, of course, but then it would always ben worded in such a sweet way that Wonwoo couldn't help but feel proud of himself for rejecting the advances when he heard it, as if he wasn't going to reject them in the first place. "I was so worried about what was going to happen when that guy started talking to you," he said one time, "I could see the way he was looking at you, you know. He had this look in his eye, as if he saw you as some sort of meal to snatch up. I don't like seeing guys looking at you like that, and I think it's really disgusting that someone would do that to someone else's fiance."

Wonwoo playfully smirked when he heard that. "I'm your fiance now?" he asked playfully, and Mingyu immediately clammed up, not knowing how he could reply to that sort of thing.  
"I-I mean, we've discussed it before and we're pretty much engaged already, aren't we?" Wonwoo pointed out that they hadn't actually made it official, since the god hadn't taken him a ring or anything, and so Mingyu asked if it was really necessary.  
"It could actually help me to make more friends, you know," he pointed out with a little smile. "People might see us getting engaged in public or something and they might talk to me in lectures if that's the case. Or outside of lectures. I don't think they're gonna miss it if there's a guy getting engaged in public, are they?"

A sneaky tactic, but it actually worked. Mingyu reluctantly got him an engagement band and proposed to him near the fountain in a park near to their university. They had planned it for a moment where other students were around. In particular, it had been timed for a moment when a lot of international students would be there too. After all, public engagements weren't a huge thing in Korea, but they certainly were in other countries. It was a bit of a sneaky tactic, but it was the sort that would ultimately get a lot of people engaged with their engagement. And so, when the time was right, Mingyu was on one knee for him and slipped the band onto his finger. It was something that snatched the attention of a lot of bystanders and ultimately left around four or five girls cooing about how cute it was that Mingyu would have the confidence to ask his boyfriend to marry him in front of so many people. They were straight over to have a look at it and chat with Wonwoo about the fact that he was going to be getting married to such a beautiful man but, as expected, the conversation only lasted for around five or ten minutes before they all parted ways and never spoke again.

The worst part, as far as the god was concerned? It didn't actually gain him any more friends - which Wonwoo anticipated but Mingyu didn't - and in fact, it possibly made him that little bit less desirable for conversation. After all, the people who had been asking him for hook-ups and the likes weren't actually all that interested anymore when they saw the silver band on his finger. And whilst that was actually pretty great for Wonwoo, as far as he was concerned, it did bother Mingyu quite a lot. He was scolded badly by the other gods for showing his face in public yet again - even though no one else outside of the village would really recognise him as a god - but there was still no friendship coming out of it to justify him having done that. He felt as if his efforts had been wasted, and the only reason why he didn't end up taking the publicity stunt back was that Wonwoo was insistent that he keep the band and they use it as their official engagement. They were going to do it anyway, after all, so what was the point in wasting things and pushing it to one side, only for it to happen again in a matter of months anyway? Mingyu agreed, of course, but it didn't mean that he was any happier about the exchange.

In the end, though, the month passed and Mingyu was left feeling bothered about everything. "I don't get it," he told Wonwoo, his voice showing his disbelief quite plainly. "You've been chatting to people every day but you still don't have any friends. And I don't get that. How could you have no one that you're actually really close to whilst you're here? Students are supposed to be the easiest people to get along with because you're in the same position. You're away from home and you're all searching for friends, and so everyone should be a little bit better about making friends with other people. Even if you're strangers and you're just bonding over the fact that you have to share a sheet of paper in class or something." It made Wonwoo smile. He knew exactly what the issue was and he was happy to explain it to Mingyu right away.  
"You're expecting that people are looking for proper friends, though. You know, a lot of the people here are literally just here to take their degree and leave. They're not here to make life-long friends or anything. You'll bond with people, of course, but you'll leave university and you'll forget everything about them. You'll graduate and then you'll never see them again. And that's just something that you have to deal with because it's inherent when you're not forming solid relationships with anyone."

So then Mingyu started subtly hinting that he wouldn't be all too upset if Wonwoo did move in with him. It was only the odd little comment here and there, but it was enough to show Wonwoo that he was genuinely considering it. He could understand why Wonwoo was overwhelmed by it, and he didn't even mind that he wouldn't be getting a degree since there was certainly the chance to read up on everything whilst they were at home together. He could spend a lifetime in the library and still not read everything. And Wonwoo liked that thought a lot. He thought it was a lot better than staying in university and worrying about his future, and it meant that he would be able to spend as much time with his boyfriend - _fiance_ \- as possible. They would be able to make the most of every minute that they shared, and it would be a great experience overall.

It also encouraged him to do what he could to survive through the night. That was when he started thinking about making a plan for what he would do when he was back in the forest, but he never really got around to it. After all, he would have felt bad if Mingyu actually asked him to get to the end of his first year - just so that the money spent on the first quarter of his degree didn't go to waste - and then he ended up falling behind in all of his assessments. That would have been the worst, and it would have really disappointed Mingyu if he saw Wonwoo failing at something that really meant the world to him. So he ended up spending his last few days working on assignments, only to wake up in the middle of the night a few days after the conversation to find that he was in the forest again. It was as if he had never been away from home, and it was just as real as it had been every other time he had been there. The wind was brushing against the back of his neck and his toes felt cold from the coolness of the ground underneath his feet. His pyjamas consisted of shorts and an oversized shirt, even though it was only May at that point in time, and he could feel the hair on his legs standing on edge right away.

Even though he hadn't had the chance to plan it, he knew exactly what he was going to do. It was obvious. He was going to find a sturdy tree and he was going to hide in it until he had a proper plan. So he went in hunt of one and found that it wasn't a particularly hard task to do so. Sure, it was a little harder to actually get into the tree, but it wasn't much harder than any other tree that he had happened to climb in his life. So he dragged himself up until he was well-hidden in the branches then checked around to make sure that he wasn't around any animal nests or anything. Just as he had expected, the tree was completely clear, and so he was able to figure out how he wanted to move forward right away. He searched around to see if there was anything that he could use to make notes - as if that sort of thing would be readily available in his current position - and then made a mental note that if it wasn't the real thing, he would put a notepad and pen in his pocket before he went to sleep on the actual night of his departure.

For now, it just had to stay in his head. The thing was, the forest wasn't as big as it had been in all of the other dreams. Well, provided that it was actually representative of the forest in reality and it wasn't altered when it finally came to his time to die. After all, if they could introduce those hound-like creatures for one night every one hundred years or so, surely they would be able to make it so that the forest was bigger than it usually was too. For the sake of the argument, though, he was going to say that it was about the same size as it was when he left for university because it was only cut down a few years before he was born when there were plans to add more shops and houses as soon as the famine was over. Of course, it never ended up happening, but the damaged was already done and they never did try to grow new trees there.

Wonwoo hoped that it would make it easier for him. Surely, it would mean that he would be able to hide somewhere in the village. There would be consequences for that - perhaps the hounds would follow him to the village and start hunting anyone who happened to be outside at the time, but it was a risk that he was willing to take. The people there alienated him as a child and made him feel worthless, and so he didn't even care whether they tore through the houses and killed every person they found. He would simply make his way over to the temple and shut himself on the top floor. He would destroy any remains of the stairs and he would lock himself in the bedroom until they were gone. In fact, he figured that there was even a chance that he wouldn't need to bother with it all that much because hell creatures probably wouldn't even be able to step inside a place of worship like that - or so, all of the holy books he'd read said something along those lines - so he would be even safer if he managed to get that far.

By that point, he hadn't heard the hounds. It was all silent around him; there wasn't even the sound of regular forest animals on the ground. No foxes hunting rabbits, and no rabbits searching for something nutritional to take back to their families. It made him nervous, naturally, but he figured that the hounds probably weren't smart enough to be completely silent if they happened to be around. Saying that, though, he had seen how all of his past selves had died - mostly from not being cautious enough - and so he decided that his way forwards was to make a loop as far from the main path as possible and move in zig-zag lines through the trees so that if they did happen to spot him, they wouldn't be able to catch him half as easily as if he ran in straight lines, which would allow for greater acceleration. So he slowly dropped back down onto the ground, thankful that there weren't many leaves there whilst it was still cold and the fresh ones hadn't even grown back yet, and then he promptly started on his way towards his own village.

Admittedly, it was a longer run than he had anticipated. Between his weaving and the fact that he was off the regular path, he found that it was difficult to tell how much longer he had left, and so that made it even harder to keep track of how things were going. And then there was the fact that he hadn't run the route in quite some time, and so he was no longer used to the distance it took to get from one side to the other. But he kept going nonetheless. There was no real reason for him not to do that, after all. He ran on the ball of his foot to make sure that he was as quiet and quick as possible, and he made sure to listen out for even a hint of movement around him.

And then the inevitable happened.

He was doing so good, but then there was the sound of barking and growling behind him. One of them had probably caught his scent on the changing wind and it was after him. Then, all of a sudden, it started to grow. More barks and growls, and much louder that time. Somehow, the entire pack was after him in a matter of seconds. But he had come that far, and so he wasn't even willing to turn back and check how close they were. He kept running at full speed, keeping his eyes straight forward, and continued to do so until the moment where he went to jump over an exposed tree root and didn't quite jump high enough. He stumbled and landed on the ground, skidding a yard or two, and then they were upon him right away.

Wonwoo wasn't going down without a fight, though. There was no way in hell. One lunged at him, ready to tear into his flesh, but he scrambled up right away and continued running. He snatched up a branch that had fallen nearby and tossed it behind him as hard as he could manage, then continued to push forward until he looked down and noticed that he had cut his leg so badly that his kneecap was exposed.

His stomach lurched right away. He didn't know how he didn't throw up on the spot, but the adrenaline instantly wore off and he could feel it. He could feel the trickle of the blood down his leg and the searing in his leg, and so he was left limping a little as he continued to try to run. But it wasn't fast enough, and so the hounds were on him again in a matter of seconds. One knocked him forwards and he turned onto his back right away so that he could try to fight it off, but then it caught the exposed cut on his leg and instantly snapped it's jaws around him. The pain was so intense that Wonwoo woke up and immediately vomited all over his bedsheets.

Mingyu was with him in an instant. "What just happened?" he asked, obviously seeming concerned. Wonwoo just burst into tears and pressed his face into his hands. "Wonwoo, what just happened? You weren't feeling sick earlier, were you? Did you have a bad dream or something? I'm sorry if it's something that I could've helped."  
"It was the forest again," he admitted right away. "I was back in the forest and I was trying to escape but I tripped over a tree root and cut my leg open, and the pain felt so _real_ when the creature bit into my leg." Mingyu looked concerned right away.  
"You didn't make it? Did you get to see what happened afterwards?" Wonwoo shook his head right away. And then Mingyu let out a long breath. "I don't know whether that's a good sign or not, but I think it's better than if you got to see the ending bit. Maybe we can..." Then he trailed off, leaving Wonwoo to speculate how he could have possibly ended the sentence. Was he going to say something that was actually plausible, or was it more like something that would work in theory but not reality? He couldn't really tell and as it was, he probably wouldn't ever be able to find that information out.

After all, Mingyu was quick to change the subject, and that meant that there was no chance of him telling Wonwoo what he was planning to do. Instead, he hopped up and got Wonwoo out of bed, and then informed him that he needed to go and take a shower whilst he sorted the bed out. After all, the last thing he really needed was for Wonwoo to get sick again because he was covered in it, and he certainly didn't need him to end up getting more upset over what was happening because he was having that constant reminder of it happening. So Wonwoo did as he was told, making his way straight over to the shower so that he could get washed. He saw one of the patrolling teachers on the way there, who almost stopped him before realising that his pyjamas were covered in the watery fluid, and so he simply nodded to let Wonwoo get on with it and go through to the showers. He took his time whilst he was in there, making sure that he no longer smelled of it when he got out, and then headed back to the bedroom with just his towel and boxers to cover himself.

By the time he got back, Mingyu had completely changed the bed and there was not even a hint of vomit around, not even the smell. He had even added a few extra things, actually. There were a few extra pillows added to the top of the bed, and then he also had a waffle knit throw along the bottom of the bed. Then there was a little stuffed cat at the top too, which confused him for a moment. It seemed familiar but he didn't really know where it had come from. Mingyu chewed on his lower lip when he was asked about it, seemingly uncomfortable even though he was the one who put it there, but he eventually admitted that it was actually the first thing that he had bought Wonwoo as a gift when he was a baby. It was for him only - not Fei or any of the others - but he had watched as Wonwoo's parents freaked out when it turned up in his crib so he quickly took it back and kept it for when he grew up.

Wonwoo's heart turned to mush when he heard that. It was a cute story and it made him feel that little bit more comfortable. It was yet another thing that proved to him that Mingyu was always there with him when he was growing up, even though he had never really noticed him, and it was something that showed how much he cared about him too. It meant that Wonwoo was a lot happier when he clambered into bed and curled up under the bedsheets with the stuffed cat clutched in one hand, but then he turned to Mingyu in silence when he realised that he was still there and shuffled back as far as he could against the wall before pulling the duvet back and encouraging him to get in. "You don't need me to sleep with you," Mingyu said, although it was clear that he was flattered because he broke into a smile right away. That smile was absolutely adorable as far as Wonwoo was concerned, and it simply made his heart flutter right away.

"I'd like you to join me tonight. I'm feeling fragile and I don't know whether I'll be able to get back to sleep after a nightmare like that." It was reasonable enough and MIngyu couldn't really argue with that. After a moment of hesitation, he got into his boxers and t-shirt, then promptly climbed into bed with Wonwoo. Wonwoo's arms were around him right away, and then he cuddled close with his cheek on the god's chest and the cat still clutched tightly in his spare hand. Mingyu's fingertip traced circles on his back, which ultimately put him to sleep a lot quicker than he would have done had he not had that little bit of additional contact.

Wonwoo wasn't going to lie and say that he wasn't disappointed that it wasn't his time to join Mingyu, but he supposed that it was for the best. After all, he was able to plan a lot easier after having worked out what went wrong, and he figured that there was even the time to come up with a couple of back-up plans. He could take a notebook and pen into the forest, he decided, and he could plan what clothes he would wear in order to stay warm but efficient too. He could have even decided to sleep with shoes on so that he wouldn't need to worry about running barefoot. It would give his ankles more stability, dramatically decreasing the chance of stumbling, and would ultimately make his run that little bit better. See, it was something that would help him, if nothing else. He wasn't going to be running based on what others had done in the past. He had practised his run for himself, and he knew that he was going to survive because he had the chance to do so. And whilst he didn't know what Mingyu had up his sleeve, he guessed that it was something that would help to make the escape that little bit easier for him.

So he ended up spending time working on it as much as possible. Mingyu assured him that he wouldn't make him finish the year, since he had to honour the agreement that he had made with Wonwoo when they were discussing the process of making friends over the space of a month. It was something that he wasn't prepared to back out of, and so he would get things sorted after both Wonwoo was ready and the other gods were ready. Of course, it would be based more on when the gods thought the best time would be, since Wonwoo wasn't really supposed to be the one to make the final call and he certainly wasn't supposed to have any practice beforehand, but Wonwoo would still be able to have a little bit of a say on it. Perhaps he would need to speak to one of his professors and tell them that he wasn't going to be in classes anymore because of his relationship status, Mingyu suggested. That could put it off for a day or two, if he felt that he wasn't prepared enough for it.

He was happy with that, if he was completely honest. It was a bit of an odd situation, but he was excited to work things out and finally get where he needed to be. He was excited to start a life with Mingyu, and he was happy that his goal would finally be reached after years of working towards the point where he ultimately joined the god. It was as if everything was finally coming together. And that was something that pushed him to keep going.

It meant that every waking hour outside of lectures was spent coming up with a plan. He didn't know how much time he had left, so he dedicated as much of his being to it as possible. He made a map of the forest from memory, marking any particular landmarks that would make it easier for him to get through the place. Whilst it was like any average forest, there were still a few things to look out and he guessed that it would help him to push through if he watched out for them. For starters, there were three cut trees around half a kilometre into the forest on the righthand side of the path. Then there was a tree around halfway through that had been electrocuted. He didn't know how it had ended up getting hit when there were plenty of other trees around too, but he guessed that it might have been ever so slightly taller than the others, making it the easiest target. If he found that, he would know where about he was in the forest in the first place, which would make it easier to navigate his way home.

There were a few other things on the way too, like the tree with the raised roots and a huge animal burrow that had formed a massive mound in the dirt, but they were a little less important for finding his way. Perhaps they would be something to watch for when he was running, just so that he didn't have a repeat of what happened when he had his nightmare about his death, but he wasn't going to go out of his way to search for them. After all, they didn't really tell him how far he actually was; they just told him where he had been in the previous dream so that he could avoid dying again.

Since the gods hadn't picked a date after he had come up with his plan, he was able to spend a few days fine-tuning his ideas until he was absolutely sure of himself. But then he started to get irritated with how long it was all taking, and so he asked Mingyu why it was taking so long. "We went through the friendship month weeks ago and I've still not heard anything from you yet," he pointed out. "I'm ready and I don't see why the gods wouldn't be ready after this long." Mingyu took in a deep breath, seemingly in preparation to tell him something about that, but then the breath was let out very slowly and he gave a nervous laugh right away.  
"There's a reason for it, I swear. And you're gonna like that reason. But you just have to be patient for a little while longer whilst I sort this out."

"I'm sure you can tell me when it has something to do with my inevitable death, Mingyu," he said flatly. After all, Wonwoo figured that it wasn't at all like any other situation that they had had, in which the gods were justified in being bothered by certain information coming out. This was something that was going to affect him directly, and surely it wasn't going to be something that was going to cause particular issues for them when Wonwoo would be joining them anyway. Even so, Mingyu shook his head and let a sheepish smile touch his lips, and then his eyes promptly dropped down to the ground.  
"Look, I'm sorry but it's nothing that you can know for now. All I can say is that I'm looking into my options because I realised something a few weeks ago and I think I can have a say in, uh... In something that happens when it's your time to go. I mean..."

He stopped for a long moment. His eyes flickered back to Wonwoo's face for a second, but then his face screwed up and he let his gaze drop again. It was clear that he wanted to reveal what it was but couldn't bring himself to do it, and that only left Wonwoo feeling that little bit more curious about things. "I mean, I _could_ tell you, in theory, but I know that it's gonna make things difficult if it's not possible. I asked them a question about something that would benefit you but they don't want to tell me what the answer is just yet. I think we all know what the answer is, but I think they're trying to figure out whether I deserve to have that answer yet or whether it's something that I need to work out on my own. I just don't want to disappoint you by telling you what it is and then having it fall flat."

Wonwoo was curious. He really was. He wanted nothing more than to know exactly what was going to happen and what Mingyu had been asking about, but he knew that he wasn't going to get a straight answer if he asked. At least it wasn't going to be too long before he found out, though. It was only a matter of time before he would meet his end and Mingyu's question would become apparent to him, and then they would be happy together without the stresses of life and his family and the world, in general, to bring them down. Wonwoo couldn't wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realised that I've marked this down as a 26-chapter fic instead of a 25-chapter one but we're gonna roll with it, so I hope everyone is ready for some unplanned havoc and the final four chapters changing a lot from what they were supposed to be!!
> 
> Type "Good luck, Camel" for success
> 
> Thank you for reading!! <3


	24. Chapter 24

Interestingly enough, Mingyu was actually more excited for Wonwoo to join him than Wonwoo was. It was pretty strange to see him responding in that sort of way after he had spent so much time trying to put it off, but Wonwoo knew exactly why that was. Well, not _exactly_ \- after all, the god hadn't told him exactly what he had been discussing with everyone else, and so it was uncertain what the specific reason for his excitement was - but he knew that it had something to do with what was going on behind his back, at the very least, and he supposed that that was good enough for the moment. It was something that Mingyu had continued to hide from him without even budging an inch, Wonwoo found, and he even said that Wonwoo would be unable to find out before he actually joined him.

All he said was that Wonwoo was going to become immortal. That was the only little bit of information that he could get out of him, and that was because Mingyu openly told him so when the time came for them to join each other. He had triumphantly entered the room with his chest puffed out slightly, and then he broke into a huge smile as he made his way over to where Wonwoo was sitting. "Are you ready to go now, or would you like things put off a little bit longer?" Wonwoo had been surprised by the fact that he had arrived to suddenly like that, but he was hardly going to complain. After all, he had spent so much time trying to get on top of things and so he could just drop the act and let it all slip again. He slowly rose from the bed and stretched as high up as he could manage, then promptly invited Mingyu to take a seat next to him.  
"I think I'll need a few hours to just talk to my professors, if that's okay, but then I'll be ready to go. Did they approve it then?"

Mingyu gave a nod and smiled even brighter. That was the sign that he had received the answer that he was looking for, whatever it was, and that everything was going to go by his plan as much as it would go by Wonwoo's plan. Pretty suspicious, in a way, but something that he could really work with. It wasn't going to be all that difficult to do what he needed to do if Mingyu had an additional plan, he figured. "You're gonna be immortal after this, though, so I need you to be absolutely sure that you wanna spend the rest of time with me. Is that okay?" he asked, offering up a sweet little smile. Wonwoo stared at him in silence for a moment.  
"Would I be doing this if I wasn't certain that I wanted to be with you forever?" At that point, Mingyu's smile faded for a moment. He looked as if he was contemplating saying something, although he wasn't quite sure whether it was going too far. Wonwoo could tell that much from the way his lips twitched over to the side, as if he was trying to think.  
"I mean, two of your past selves told me that you didn't want to live anymore. We had some big arguments. One of them even decided that she was going to live on the other side of the house and wasn't going to speak to me until she was ready to die."

Wonwoo hadn't really expected such a confession, but it was so characteristic of Mingyu to bring something like that up that he wasn't even that surprised. Instead, he just took the god's hand in his own and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I'd tell you if I wasn't sure about living with you. Do you not remember how I used to be so certain that I wasn't even going to fall in love with you?" Mingyu's eyes shifted down to the floor, where they hovered for a while as he tried to get over the embarrassment that came alongside the memory. "I was so sure, Mingyu, but then that changed because you were looking out for me. I'm not going to regret this, I promise." It was a bit of a loaded promise, actually. He couldn't really be sure whether he was going to enjoy it or not, especially since there were so many things that were due to change. As much as Mingyu could tell him that he would be able to read all of the books in the library, Wonwoo certainly wouldn't be able to spend all of his life there. And he probably wouldn't be able to spend most of the time sleeping either. No, he would have a selection of responsibilities too, and he would have to complete them in a timely manner.

One of those responsibilities was having children, he imagined. If Mingyu was going to be busy looking after the village a lot of the time - something that he had been neglecting whilst they were in their courting period - it would be up to Wonwoo to raise their children into beautiful and intelligent young adults. Of course, Mingyu would probably be there to help out and wouldn't just be a weekend dad, as far as Wonwoo was concerned, but there was no chance that the children would be able to see them equally. It hurt him to know that but after all, it was essentially the agreement that he signed in order to be with Mingyu for the rest of their lives. It was something that couldn't really be changed, since a couple of children who were being looked after by their mother were going to be lower on his list of priorities than the life of a hundred or so people who were going to live for a limited time. But even so, Wonwoo hoped that things would work out in that sense.

Which begged the question, actually. How was he going to have children with Mingyu? He had mentioned having children with all of his past partners, since he liked the thought of having a big family, but Wonwoo didn't quite recall him saying how it would work if he was with a guy. He supposed that the answer would come in time, of course, but it was something that did make him feel a little bit squeamish when he thought about it. So he decided that it was best to jump straight to that topic of conversation before he got even more bothered by it and watched as Mingyu's face twisted in response.

"I'm sure I already mentioned surrogates in the past," he pointed out, "Do you really think I'm gonna find someone who can rewire your insides and allow you to give birth to a child? Or make you go through... I don't know, five to ten caesarians?" There was a long pause, in which Wonwoo didn't really know what he could say in response. Perhaps Mingyu _had_ mentioned it before. Maybe he'd even mentioned it a few times. But it just seemed a little bit indirect as a way of having a child with a partner, even if he wasn't biologically inclined to give birth himself.  
"They're just gonna be your child or something, though, aren't they?" he asked, trying his hardest not to seem too disappointed by it. The reality of the matter was that he was, in fact, a little bit disappointed to learn that information, even though the thought of actually giving birth to his own child was pretty uncomfortable too.

"What? No. It's not like that. There's a way to make it so that we're both the parents of any kids. You see, we have to get an egg cell and distract the DNA and then... uh..." He paused for a moment, seemingly not knowing how to continue. "Did you hear about that sheep from the West who was cloned?" Wonwoo shook his head slightly. Mingyu's face promptly screwed. "Ah, it's fine then. I'll show you when you're with me or something. The bottom line is that it can be done and it's nothing to worry about because it's not something too important how it's done. Just know that it's possible and it'll be nice and easy when we get to it. Someone will carry the baby for us and then we'll have as big of a family as you'd like."

At least that much was cleared up, Wonwoo figured. It was the only bit that was a bit uncomfortable in his mind, but even that didn't seem like too much of a big deal once it was explained to him. So he ended up simply telling Mingyu that he would go to his professor right away and get things sorted so that they would be able to leave as soon as possible. Then, once he was back to his room, he would pack his things as best as possible so that other people wouldn't need to go through his room and clear his things. He figured that that would be a lot easier than making people go through all of that when he was gone and having to decide what to do with the things. At least that way, he would be able to mark the things that he wanted to be donated to charities, the things that he wanted to go back into the university - like his books and stationary - and the things that he wanted to be destroyed or thrown away.

Strangely, he found that it was a lot harder to go to his professor than he thought it would be. He didn't really know how he could word things when he looked at it more rationally; after all, it sounded absolutely ridiculous to say to his professor that he had to drop out of his course because he was due to join his fiance, who was a god, in a place that had no access to the university campus. It sounded even more ridiculous to tell the guy that he was going to have to die to be with his fiance, which would probably lead to an intervention because it sounded too much like suicidal ideation, as opposed to something that he actually had to do in order to get where he needed to be. So he took his time with it. He stood outside the room and tried to figure out what was going on, and then figured that the best course of action was to suggest researching it himself. It was something that happened frequently in their village anyway, even if it wasn't heard of in other areas of the country, so they would be able to tell that he was genuine.

Or rather, he _hoped_ that they would be able to tell that he was genuine. He could see how it might seem as if he was just a religious nut who was spouting rubbish that his parents had told him when he was little. Every parent thought that their child was a blessing from the gods, after all, so it didn't make him special to have people think the same about him. It just happened to be the case that whilst it sounded a lot like a village-wide cult that convinced their child that a god walked amongst them and took away sacrifices every couple of hundred years, this was actually something genuine and he was actually going to be leaving with Mingyu. Given that there was no scientific evidence of it and all there was to work the truth out from was the information in books written by other people, though, Wonwoo wasn't completely confident in his ability to put the information forward. In the end, he figured that his best option was to completely change it and pretend that he wasn't in a relationship with Mingyu, just so that it would sound a lot better.

He knocked very gently on the door and then nervously entered the room when he was called forward. In an instant, his heart was left thudding hard in his chest, and he could hear it ringing in his ears as he took a seat in front of his professor. They made eye contact for a long time before Wonwoo admitted that he was going to be dropping out, and then the professor's eyebrows immediately shot up as he asked what the problem was. He said that he would happily sort things out for him if he was having difficulty, but he was incredibly surprised because Wonwoo always seemed incredibly interested in the subject and handed in amazing assignments every time. Wonwoo took in a deep breath before bringing the rubbish that he had been thinking up in his head right out. "Unfortunately, my girlfriend is pregnant with my child and I'm not far enough into my degree to warrant me staying when the money could be better spent on making sure that my family has enough money to survive and that my child can get this sort of education in the future."

It felt awful to lie to someone he respected so much; someone who trusted him equally and offered to make sure that everything was right for him so that he would be able to continue with his degree, should he want to do that. Wonwoo felt absolutely disgusting. But he had already made his decision and Mingyu had already given him the opportunity to see it through to the end. He had rejected that, so there was no way that he could back out now. Especially not after Mingyu had spent so much time trying to find out what he needed to find out in order to help him become immortal, or so he said. If he went to that much effort to make it happen, Wonwoo figured that he could only really show his respect for his fiance by simply dropping his course and doing exactly as they planned. So he listened to the options that his professor was giving him before pointing out that he had absolutely no support from his family and he couldn't bear to take the university's money for a scholarship that he wouldn't be able to completely immerse himself in during the rest of his time in education.

The professor seemed particularly upset about it. Wonwoo could tell that much. When he realised that there was no way to change Wonwoo's mind and that he was really bothered by the fact that he wasn't going to be seeing it through to the end either, the professor eventually dropped it and simply wished him good luck. He informed Wonwoo that he would put in a good word for him to return in the future, should he wish to come back, and told him that he would keep his assignments for the first semester so that he didn't need to completely redo the work that needed to be done. It would all be valid for around five or so years, so that he could always return when his child started going to school or something. Wonwoo informed him that he appreciated it a lot, and then promptly set back off on his way after saying his goodbyes to the other professors in the building.

It was odd to be walking back after that, admittedly. Wonwoo hadn't expected it to sting as much as it did, but he supposed that that came alongside having lied to several of his professors like that. Surely enough, they would know that he was lying about it too. No one just left their things in their bedroom like that if they were going to be leaving to have a child. No one would have full suitcases of belongings behind with a note saying to donate them or throw them away. And since he arrived at the university with all of his belongings and told everyone that he had no permanent home address, it would just seem incredibly unusual for him to have things in that state when he departed. But he figured that he wouldn't really get to see the aftermath of it so there was no reason for him to be overthinking it. To overthink it was to make it something that bothered him for the rest of his life - potentially - and he couldn't really afford to do that if his life wasn't going to end at the same time that it usually would. Eighty years of being bothered by it would be bad, but thousands of years of being bothered by it was something that he had to avoid.

So he pushed it to the back of his mind as he went back to his room and packed everything up into boxes and bags. It was just as he had done when he moved into the place, except there were a few more things this time because he had already spent a little bit of time in his own place. Things had a way of accumulating like that, after all. Then he took a step back so that he could admire his work. It wasn't bad, but it certainly wasn't perfect. If anything, it looked like he had realised that he wasn't going to be around for much longer and he had just tossed everything into one spot in hopes that other people wouldn't be too bothered about that. But it would have to do, he guessed. He needed to make his way to the train station and go back to his home village, then sneak over to the temple without anyone seeing. That was going to be a game in itself, after all, and so he needed to be very careful about that he was going to do.

After calling Mingyu down to his room and making sure that everything was fine to go ahead still, Wonwoo snatched up his rucksack and started on his way to the train station. It contained everything that he needed for the night, from snacks to keep himself going whilst he waited it out in the temple through to the notebook he'd written all of his notes inside and the pyjamas that he had been wearing in the last version of the dream. It was more senitimental than anything; Mingyu had insisted that he didn't need to wear the same clothes as he had done when he was running away from the hounds in his own timeline, but Wonwoo was insistent that he wanted to give it another chance. He wanted to prove to himself that his timeline didn't end with the hound's jaws clamping around his throat, and he knew that he was going to be able to get even further in the same attire now that he had planned for it properly and was getting ready to run for his life. It was going to be absolutely perfect and no one could tell him otherwise.

Within the hour, he was on his way back home. Mingyu had given him the money to get a ticket and he had gone straight over to the subway so that he could get to the actual train he needed. It was going to be a bit of a difficult task, he figured, since he had picked a time where there were no direct trains to get home. It was going to require two changes on the way back and whilst it wasn't too much of an issue, it was still a bit of an inconvenience. It meant that he wasn't able to simply go to sleep so that the time came that little bit quicker and instead, he just had to stay awake and keep watching the stations pass by. Thankfully, it turned out that it wasn't as bothersome as he originally thought it would be when he asked one of the members of staff in the train station for guidance, but it was still a little bit of a pain for him to have to go through it all. He was already on edge, after all, and so it just made things that little bit tenser for him.

Saying that, though, Mingyu helped him through it by telling him what would happen when he got back to the village. He informed him that it would be around midnight when he was put into the forest, and he would have to survive for six hours in order to pass into the afterlife. Whilst he could have left the forest in any other situation, he was intentionally put into a dream-like version of the forest, which meant that it was a lot larger than it was in real life. On top of that, everyone else in both his village and the one on the other side of the forest would be put to sleep very early, although they would all simply think that they were tired and needed to go to bed. If he did eventually get to either of the villages and try to wake someone up, it would be as if they were dead. They wouldn't wake from the dream and their bodies would be cold to the touch. It was to prevent cheating, as far as the other gods were concerned. It was also to prevent an outsider ruining the game by killing him - like what had happened to Kiwoong - so it worked in his favour too.

In a way, it was also a way of representing the first time Mingyu lost someone in the forest. No one else went to help, so there was no reason why they would help in Wonwoo's situation either. But that was fine. Wonwoo wasn't even considering asking anyone for help in the first place. He knew that they would just take him back into the forest, or they would take him to his parents' place so that they would be able to punish him accordingly. And as much as he could try to explain to people that he was being hunted by hounds and was going to die, he knew that no one would really care all that much. It was the way they were, and it was something that he just had to put up with. So he guessed that it was going to work out for the best, in the end. He _did_ need to adjust a few parts of his plan, since he hadn't accounted for the fact that the forest was larger, but there were only minor tweaks involved since he hadn't really worked based on the size either. It was more about his plans to hide, if he was honest, so it was simple enough to fix whilst he was on the train.

By the time he eventually got back to the village, he had to admit that he was feeling a lot more confident about things. He was happy to go on a long walk around the place so that he didn't get caught out by any of the other villagers, but he didn't really feel as if he had to do it to clear his head anymore. There had been plenty of time to do that when he was on the train, so it really wasn't a huge deal at all. It meant that he could take his time too - something that he wouldn't have even considered if he was still nervous about it all. After all, it was going to be his last chance to see the village whilst he was still alive. It was something that he didn't think he would care about all that much, but then it ultimately ended up being something that bothered him a lot more when he really thought about it. It was not only his birthplace and the last place he'd seen his brother, but it was also the place he'd met Mingyu. It was the village where he had experienced his first kiss and his first time in bed, and he supposed that that made things a little bit more sentimental than he had originally anticipated they would be.

Mingyu seemingly noticed that he was having a bit of a sentimental moment too. He gave Wonwoo a fond smile when he finally arrived at the temple and settled down on Fei's bed, and then made his way that little bit closer so that he would be able to show that he was there for him. "Are you thinking about all of your memories of this place?" he asked. Wonwoo couldn't help but let it show on his face. He hadn't been planning on telling his fiance about it, but he couldn't really help it if he already knew. So he just let out a sigh and flopped back against the bed, where he stayed for longer than necessary.

"You know, we've been together for quite some time now. Over a year. And before that, I was planning on leaving you for good. I didn't want anything to do with you. Yet..." He trailed off as he moved to sit up again, then took the time to look around the room. His eyes rested on all of the features of the place, taking in how lively it was, even though no one had actually lived in the house for quite some time. Mingyu had done a good job at making sure that it still looked presentable, and that made it even more comfortable in the place. "Yet, I ended up falling for you hard. We shared a kiss in the temple downstairs and we slept together, and now we're engaged and I'm coming to live with you. It's surreal." Admittedly, it sounded as if he was a child when he was saying it like that. He sounded awkward and clunky, as if he was a five-year-old who was trying to explain his feelings for something that was too complex for his limited vocabulary.

He tried his hardest to push that to the back of his mind, though. The last thing he really needed was to have the sense that he was still a child and he wasn't mature enough to be moving in with Mingyu. It was something that was inherently going to be a bit of an issue anyway, since the age gap between a guy of his age and a god who had been living for hundreds of years was always going to be apparent, but it was something that he figured was best to pay no mind. If it didn't bother Mingyu, it shouldn't bother him. With that, he tried his hardest to ignore the lingering feeling that things simply felt off and then promptly got started with eating his snacks. He made sure to take it slowly, offering little bits to Mingyu here and there so that he felt as if their relationship was a little bit more mature than it felt at that point in time, and occasionally picked up conversations in an attempt to curb his anxiety.

For the most part, it worked pretty well. He was able to get ready for the night without too much worry. He took a long shower and made sure to wash his body amazingly well so that he would feel a lot more confident when he eventually met Mingyu in the afterlife and moved forward with their relationship. He scrubbed his teeth so that they were sparkling and clean and there wasn't even the slightest trace of his dinner on his tongue. He even took the time to dry his hair properly so that he didn't catch a cold when he was outside on his own. Then he considered his options for going to bed. Did he want to wear socks or not? Was it appropriate to wear shoes in bed? What about the notebook? Would it be okay if it was in his pocket, or did he need to put it in his underwear so that the gods didn't find it and take it out? He didn't really know what the rules were for that, so he ended up asking Mingyu about it. It wasn't really the best option, frankly, but it was something that got him a couple of answers so he guessed that it wasn't something that was too inappropriate.

"Do you take me to the forest or do the other gods take me there?" he asked.  
"Oh? I don't even get to know where about they put you, funnily enough," Mingyu replied. Then he broke into a smile. It felt incredibly ill-timed and made Wonwoo feel a little bit suspicious, although he chose to pretend he'd not seen it. He knew exactly what the response would be if he tried to bring it up, so there was no poing in going through it again.  
"Are you going to be waiting for me in your place or something, then?" Long pause.  
"Yeah."  
"Do you think they'll take my notebook if I have it in my pocket?"  
"Maybe."  
"Okay, so I'll put it in my underwear instead. They're not going to try to take it from me if it's there, will they?"  
"I don't know."

Wonwoo's eyes narrowed slightly. Mingyu offered up a sweet little smile, showing off right away that he knew more things that Wonwoo didn't know. As time was going on and they were getting closer to the time where Wonwoo was supposed to go, he was finding that the god was becoming more and more secretive. He was also smiling more, and he was revealing less information. That was telling Wonwoo that he was lying again, but he didn't really have it in him to bring it up again that time. Instead, he just rolled his eyes and told Mingyu that he wanted to go to bed and get it over with. He wanted to just wake up as soon as possible. "Wait," Mingyu insisted before he had the chance to do so, "I want to spend a little bit of time with you before you have to go. Just in case everything goes wrong. You know how these things are. I'm pretty sure that it's going to work out, but just in case it doesn't, I'd like to be able to spend a little bit of time making sure that things are okay with you first."

Wonwoo didn't really know what he meant by "making sure that things were okay", but he guessed that it was only polite to honour the request. After all, the god had helped him to get where he was and it was only polite that he would make sure that things were not only okay between them as a couple, but also in whatever way that Mingyu meant too. So he ended up shuffling further under the bedsheets and then encouraged Mingyu to join him. Mingyu made his way over and got straight under the bedsheets, and then they were cuddling. It was an innocent gesture and it provided that little bit of comfort that Wonwoo needed before his departure. It was only made better when Mingyu began touching him in ways that only served to comfort him even more. A hand on the small of his back and one in his hair, both rubbing slow circles so that he was able to feel the stress lifting from his body.

It put him to sleep almost straight away, even though it was only around nine o'clock and he had been anticipating that he would be awake until almost midnight. He had expected that the gods would just have to put him to sleep so that he wouldn't respond on his way to the forest, and then he would be tired for the rest of his night. It would be something that would slow him down, he guessed, although he also supposed that there would be plenty of time to sleep when he eventually joined Mingyu and had settled into his new house. 

Strangely enough, he had ended up having another dream first. One in which he got to meet Fei. She was a gentle girl who had told him that he was due to have a great life with someone who cared about him, and then she offered him tea so that he could relax his nerves before he was taken to the forest. Of course, he couldn't really tell whether it was real or not when it was so well-timed, but he guessed that it didn't really matter either way. The only thing that mattered was that she was giving him tips on surviving both the forest and living with Mingyu. It was something that he wouldn't have expected from Fei but he guessed that if they were from the same realm of consciousness and they were pretty similar in both appearance and personality, it was only for the best that she came to him either in reality or in his dreams to tell him how was best to handle things like that.

He found it all incredibly interesting, actually. The tips on surviving the forest were pretty simple, like watching his footing, trying not to leave himself exposed for too long, and moving away from the paths. It didn't matter whether he was going to end up getting lost in the forest, after all; the hounds were the only deadly creatures in the forest, and he would end up being saved if he made it all the way anyway. It wasn't a huge deal, and it was something that would keep him safer for longer. Of course, there was only so much that she could tell him about that, though. She didn't know what he was planning on doing and she could hardly tell him what was going to work and what wasn't going to get him far. She had done her run when she was heavily pregnant and didn't even survive an hour, and so Wonwoo probably had a greater chance of pushing through without the tips than she did.

When it came to living with Mingyu, she suggested that he take time away sometimes. Maybe stay with one of the other gods or something - there was a particularly cute couple who were essentially like the mother and father friends of the other gods, and they always made sure to look after everyone. They appreciated that arguments sometimes happened between married couples, especially if they had to stay together indefinitely, so they always made sure to help where possible and sort things out for other couples. It was great, she told him, because they were also incredibly understanding so it was never awkward to talk to them about anything. Her other tips, though, were to take his serving of meat before giving any to Mingyu because he was the sort to eat all of it if he was given the chance to do so, go through the rules of disciplining their children early on in the relationship so there was no fumbling when they were trying to look after a fussy toddler, and to make sure that they never went to bed feeling angry with each other.

Then she faded out and Wonwoo's vision grew dark. He laid there for a moment, listening to his own breathing, until he eventually felt the tickle of wind across his cheeks. He shivered and peeled his eyes open, only to see the night sky above him. It was partially covered by trees and clouds, but he could still see the moon peeking out. This was real. He could tell that much. From the bitter chill on his thighs to the fact that his body felt as if it was crawling when he sat up, there was a very notable difference between that experience and the experiences that he had had in the past. This was his time to shine, and it was confirmed by the sound of a voice in his head. 

"You have to make it to six o'clock tomorrow morning. That's six hours. Good luck."


	25. Chapter 25

Wonwoo's first task was to get to a tree that wouldn't result in him being found out. He licked a finger and tested it against the air so that he could tell which way the wind was going, then promptly made his way in the opposite direction for a kilometre or so before clambering up into a tree.

And only when he was safely at the top did he relax. He took in a deep breath, taking in the scent of the damp grass and cool night air, and then ran a hand over his face. As much as he had prepared for it and tried to get himself ready, it was completely different when he was actually in the moment. He had probably been outside for around eight or nine minutes at most, if he knew his run times as well as he thought he did, and so he still had quite some time left. He patted his pockets and then over the front of his underwear, in an attempt to find the notebook that he had stuffed in there. He over-patted, continuing despite the fact that he couldn't feel it at all. Then he started to scrunch with his hands, just in case he was just unable to find it with simple pats for whatever reason. He could only really do that for so long before accepting the fact that it was no longer with him, of course, but it was the reality that he didn't want to face.

After all of the time that he had spent working on his plan, the last thing he really needed was to lose it before he got to the forest. He had been ready to read through his notes and work out where he wanted to go as soon as he got to the tree, but now he was left trying to remember what he'd written. And seeing as he was in such a tense situation, he knew that he wasn't going to remember much of it at all. Typical, he figured. So he ended up simply scrapping everything, in favour of just tossing himself into the situation and trying his best to figure it out as he went along. Not the best approach, admittedly, but it was better than calculating everything perfectly, following the plan as it came to him, and then ending up dead. Mingyu seemed to be excited to have him permanently, so he couldn't risk ruining things so early on in the process. It was essentially a promise that he had silently made to the god - to stay alive and make it through to the morning - so that was what he was going to do.

For the moment, he guessed that it was for the best to stay in the tree. It seemed like the logical option, after all. Typically, hounds were unable to climb so there was no real reason for him to start running whilst he was safe. So he stayed put and figured that he would let them search for him for a little while. Perhaps it would tire them out enough to stop their hunt. Perhaps they wouldn't be as agile when they chased him if he had already let them get their energy. Wonwoo relaxed back against the trunk of the tree and listened to the distant sounds of howls that filled the night air. It sounded as if they were a good kilometre or two away at that point in time and Wonwoo was sure that he could only hear it because of how silent the rest of the forest was. And that suited him pretty well, actually. So long as they kept their distance and alerted him to how far away they were, he guessed that they were going to have a pretty simple night, in which they didn't need to do much and neither did he.

But then again, that seemed too easy. It all seemed too easy. If it was that simple, surely someone else would have climbed into a tree in the past. There was probably a reason why he had to move in his dream, and there was a strange niggling feeling in the pit of his stomach that was insisting that staying in the tree for six hours would be a mistake. Part of him figured that they would be able to catch his scent on the wind if they ran past him, and then they would know exactly where he was. Then they would find a way to get to him. Maybe they were able to jump higher than any other hound. Maybe they were even able to climb. It seemed a bit bizarre to think that a hound would be able to get to him but seeing as he had been hunted by them in some of his dreams and hadn't noticed them until they caught him, he supposed that anything was possible. After all, it appeared that they weren't bound by the rules of any other creature, and that was what made them scarier.

Wonwoo didn't really know what to make of it, if he was being honest. He hadn't really thought of what else he could do instead, so it would be a little bit difficult to simply run and hope for the best. But then staying still seemed like a bad idea too. That was probably why the others ended up being caught as they did. They thought that the game would be simple and they ultimately ended up being taken down because of it. He took in a deep breath and scratched the back of his head as he tried to come up with something intelligible but nothing really came to mind so he ultimately just figured that it was the best time to run, if any. So long as he could keep quiet, as he had done in his original dream, he would be able to make his way towards the village and hide. The barks and howls were still very far away at that point, but they were gradually getting closer and he couldn't risk leaving it too long to find out whether they actually could reach him if he was in a tree.

So he decided to just drop down onto the ground, as quietly as he could manage, so that he could keep going. At that point, he realised that he was just in socks and they had been left disgustingly wet from the damp grass, but an instinctual thought told him right away that the smell of his body would be obvious on the grass if he decided to take them off. As disgusting as it felt to continue running with them on, he knew that people sweated a lot out through their feet and so he couldn't risk it, especially if the direction of the wind started to change. In fact, he guessed that there was a chance that they would be able to follow his exact route if he did that, and so he needed to limit his direct contact with the ground as much as possible. The squelching was something he eventually got used to, for the sake of the escape, and so he simply gritted his teeth and kept going until he eventually started to recognise the things around him. The animal dens were to one side, and a fallen tree was to the other side, and it would have been weird if those same two landmarks were side-by-side anywhere else in the forest.

And as much as it was disappointing that he wasn't as far into the forest as he had imagined he would be - suggesting to him that either he wasn't running anywhere near as quickly as he usually would or that the forest was even larger than it had been in his last dream - at least it allowed him to plan for that tree root that had killed him last time. With good time, he started to move inwards, knowing full well that it would take him a few minutes to drift towards the path as it was. And then he checked that there was no one around when he got there before sprinting over the path and back into the safety of the trees. He went another kilometre or so into the trees on that side and then continued working his way towards the village. Every so often, he would stop to catch his breath and check that the hounds weren't too close to him, and then he would continue on his way. Every breather was just enough to keep his stamina levels high, and they ensured that he would definitely have the ability to sprint if he needed to do so.

Wonwoo supposed that an hour had passed by the time he heard the barks getting louder. Perhaps it was even more. Perhaps it was edging closer to two hours. He had no real way of checking; he had simply been running as much as he could, in hopes that it would take him where he needed to go. Unfortunately for him, though, the wind started to slow when he heard that they were getting closer to him. He could feel it going still sometimes, as if it was considering whether or not to change direction, and that was something that would end up being pretty damn dangerous for him. So he stopped going towards the village completely. He knew right away that he wouldn't be able to make it all the way there if the wind changed direction and they caught his scent. So instead, Wonwoo began to move deeper into the forest so that if it did end up changing, he had a chance to change direction without being caught by them. He didn't have to risk running straight towards them, and it would give him a greater chance of survival.

Unfortunately for him, though, he found that the forest only grew darker the further he ran. The trees grew close together and blocked out most of the light from the moon. In a way, it was good because it meant that they probably wouldn't be able to see him if they couldn't smell him. Unless, of course, they had night vision too. On the other hand, it meant that he was going to end up struggling to see and it was a little bit riskier for him to run. So he decided to be a bit more mindful of it. He watched his steps as best as possible, still listening out for the hounds as much as he could manage, and then he tried to come up with a plan for how he could get into the other village instead. Of course, it was going to be a bit of a harder task than it would have been to go to his own village, but it wasn't really something that he could help. After all, the wind was going to change whether it was convenient for him or not, and he just had to work with it.

So his new plan was to go to the farm, if he made it all the way to that village. He would continue running until he was in the safety of the barn, and then he would hide with the animals. Either the hounds would attack them first, or they would provide some protection as the hounds tried to get to him. It wasn't great if any animals died, of course, but Wonwoo figured that it was the lesser of two evils. He was keeping himself alive by using his natural resources, and the farmers would probably only be upset for a short period anyway if they were planning on selling the wool, lanolin and meat of the sheep anyway. Wonwoo continued working his way over in that direction, keeping his mind set on the target the entire time so that he didn't end up backing out of it at the last minute. It was going to get him the chance to spend the rest of his life with Mingyu, he pushed, so it was going to be worth it whether he was convinced that it would work or not.

Of course, though, the plan couldn't go as smoothly as he thought it would. It only took a hard step on a branch to attract attention nearby. As it broke under his foot, Wonwoo heard a howl that was so close that it left shivers running up his spine. He felt sick as soon as he heard it, knowing right away that he needed to move as quickly and quietly as possible before they noticed him. He held his breath and kept an eye out for the hound who had raised the signal. As he worked his way through the trees, he saw them all starting to move together into a pack through the trees and his heart skipped a beat. One of them began to sniff the air, taking in deep whiffs of the scents of the forest. And then they started towards him. They had found him again, as much as he had tried his hardest to stay low and not be seen. The howl rang in his ears as he started to sprint as quickly as he could, making his way closer to the path again so that he could run that little bit easier without having to worry about crashing into a tree, and they promptly followed after him.

Wonwoo had never felt fear like that in his life. Whilst he had obviously been scared when he was being pursued in his dreams too, this was even more intense. In his mind, he knew that if he didn't survive, it was the end for him. He knew that if he didn't keep on running, they would rip his throat out and he would end up where the others were. He knew that he would be able to feel how much it hurt, and he also knew that he would disappoint Mingyu if he was to die like that. If nothing else, that was the thing that kept him going - knowing that Mingyu needed him to keep running so that they could be together forever. He had already decided that he wasn't going to die, and to do so after around half of his time there would be an embarrassment. Even more so if it turned out that he had been there for less than three hours. All he knew was that it felt as if he had been there for eternity and he was just ready for it all to be over.

He tried his hardest to keep going as best as possible. His feet were hitting the ground hard and the hounds were trailing close behind him. They didn't seem as tired as he hoped they would be, somehow managing to keep a consistent pace the entire time. He could feel that the only thing keeping _him_ going, on the other hand, was the adrenaline spike. Had it not been for that, he knew he would have been destroyed after just a minute of running. Somehow, it was keeping his legs going as he tried his hardest to keep up with the demands of the run. Admittedly, it was a huge relief that he was able to get that far with it without any prior training and limited exercise. If it hadn't been for the fact that he was fighting for his life and was dangerously close to death, he would have given himself a moment to be impressed by it. But there wasn't time. Not now. He had to keep pushing himself until he found something. A tree that he could climb if he could create that little bit of distance between them. A big stone that he could toss behind him. A branch to fight them off.

Thankfully, there was a branch, but it wasn't really one that he could grab. As it turned out, it was actually attached to a tree and he hadn't realised. It was a root, Wonwoo found, and it tripped him just as the root had done in his dream. He skidded again, landing a few feet away from it, and he immediately felt that familiar searing sensation in his knee. He had ripped the skin off it again, and he could see his kneecap. He winced as he stumbled back to his feet, narrowly missing the jaws of one of the hounds, then he promptly started weaving again so that they wouldn't be able to catch him too quickly. It wasn't perfect, since looking at the wound was enough to make him feel it, but it was enough to allow the adrenaline to hit once again and take some of the pain away. It allowed him to get to the path again and start on his way back in the other direction in a huge loop around the trees on the other side, as he didn't really need to bother with the change in wind direction anymore, and then he pushed himself as much as possible, in hopes that he hadn't actually made it too far in the opposite direction.

There was only so long that he could continue running, though. In their current state, there was no way that the hounds were going to give up chase. They were still as fast as they had been at the start. Wonwoo was starting to slow. He could feel the burning in his thighs and sides and his breathing was shallow. He knew that it was the end for him, as much as he didn't want to admit it, but he was determined to keep fighting until his body couldn't take anymore. He was determined to go down only if one of them caught him, instead of simply collapsing to the ground where they would be able to take him right away. He kept moving, his eyes streaming with tears, and tried his hardest to stop himself from letting out a sob. To do so would be to admit weakness, in that situation; to admit a fear of dying.

It was only a matter of time before one of them caught him. He felt a hard weight hit his back, and then he stumbled forward. His forehead hit the dirt with a hard thud and then his body followed right after, but he was quick to turn onto his back so that he could spend his last few seconds fighting. A jaw clamped around his calf and broke the skin. He heard the crunch of bones snapping and his stomach churned. That alone was enough to make him feel sick. But then it started dragging him around and Wonwoo let out a panicked scream. He could feel the creature start to yank his leg away from the rest of his body, as if it was trying to drag its prize to the rest of the group, and then another moved towards his head. And that was the end. It was going to be his last moment. He shut his eyes and waited for it to rip his throat out. That was the last thing that he really wanted to see in that situation. He was ready to face the pool of water and Mingyu's disappointment, and he guessed that he would just have to apologise profusely when they were reunited.

But nothing changed. He could still feel the grass under his arms. He couldn't feel the sensation of his skin being torn. And then he heard the sound of the hounds whining instead, as if something was hurting them.

Wonwoo's eyes shot open to see that someone was tossing stones at them. The aim was perfect, hitting each hound in the face or shoulder with quick-fire shots until they backed away from him slightly. The hounds weren't happy with it at all - in fact, they seemed confused that they suddenly had two targets - but at least their attention was temporarily on the other person instead. No attacks just yet, but Wonwoo could see that the hounds were considering their options; whether they attacked Wonwoo, the other person, or split up and did what they could to both of them. Then one lunged, as if to attack that person, and it suddenly received a hard thwack to the chest with a nearby branch. And in the space of a second, Wonwoo felt his body being lifted from the ground.

Admittedly, Wonwoo did pass out for a few seconds. Everything went black and then he was woken up just a few seconds later by the sensation of movement. It made him feel queasy, he noted, especially since his broken leg was dangling so limply as he moved. It took a few seconds for him to realise that the feeling of movement was coming from the way that someone was carrying him - they were running, but he was off-balance in their arms, so it made for an uncomfortable experience - at which point, his eyes suddenly shot open. And then he looked up, only to see that the person who was carrying him was none other than Mingyu. The god flashed a smile down to him as he noticed his fiance staring up at him, but he remained silent as he continued to run as quickly as he could manage. He was quicker than Wonwoo had been, admittedly, and that was particularly great as it started to create distance between them and the hounds. Eventually, the growls and barks were getting quieter, but Mingyu continued to run at the same pace until they were definitely in the clear.

Wonwoo hadn't really anticipated that they would be free from the hounds at any point. He expected that they would catch them before they got too far, or perhaps they would stay on their tail until Mingyu eventually grew too tired to continue running. After all, he was carrying someone in his arms and that should have slowed him down quite a lot, so it seemed logical to expect that he wouldn't be able to keep the pace up for the rest of the night. But there they were. They were free - at least, for the moment - and that gave them the time to search for somewhere to rest. Going into a tree was out of the question in the beginning, of course, but there weren't too many other places to hide whilst they were in the middle of a forest. So Mingyu ended up motioning to a large tree, as if to ask whether Wonwoo would be comfortable with getting into it, and then he promptly helped him up into it when he was given the go-ahead to put him there. Then he climbed in next to him and made sure that they were tucked in as best as possible before whipping out Wonwoo's notebook from his pocket.

"I found this in the bedroom," he wrote on a sheet of paper. "You're really lucky because I didn't actually know that I was allowed to help you until a few days ago. I suddenly realised that that was why everyone else died after I went over what I'd shown you about my past relationships. I didn't manage to save Lihua so they expected me to save someone. As it turned out, I just thought I had to watch my lover die in front of my eyes. I never thought to jump in and help them." So the punishment required that he fix what he failed to do in the first place. That made an incredible amount of sense, as far as Wonwoo was concerned. It was as if the gods were teaching him that the lesson wasn't necessarily learnt right away and he needed to work towards it. Perhaps he would even push it that little bit more and say that it taught that if he really loved someone enough, he would find a way to fix things.

Of course, that could have been pushing things too far. After all, Wonwoo couldn't really say that Mingyu didn't love his earlier forms enough. It was clear that he was in love with all of them and that was why it hurt him so much to let them go. To mourn over them for a hundred years was to truly love them, and to only settle for that person in the form of another meant that it was certainly something special. But there was something else about him. Something that seemingly made Mingyu love him more. Perhaps it was his resemblance to his earlier self or something; Wonwoo didn't really know but he didn't mind all that much either. All he needed to know was that he was the most important person in the god's life. He needed to know that they loved each other equally and intensely. And this was showing it to him; by coming to save him when he was in a tough place, he proved that he was there to stay and they would be able to make something great of their relationship.

When Wonwoo didn't answer the message right away, Mingyu's eyes shifted down to his bare leg. It was bleeding still, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been, seeing as it was almost certainly broken. He winced and searched around for something to help it but failed to find anything suitable on hand. So he simply took off his shirt. Wonwoo flashed him a look of alarm but Mingyu already had it wrapped around the wound before he could reject it. He waited for Wonwoo to brace himself, so that he could be sure that he would be quiet, and then promptly tied a tight knot over the puncture holes. Wonwoo had to bite on his hand to stop himself from screaming. Whilst the pain had been so constant that he was able to ignore it, the sudden pressure was enough to make it throb again. He felt as if he was about to explode - as if Mingyu had just poured acid into the wound - and so he ended up having to sit with his hand in his mouth for a good few minutes before he eventually decided that he would be okay to move it.

"Does it hurt really bad?" Mingyu mouthed to him. Wonwoo nodded. And then the god took the paper back off him and started scribbling again. "I don't want to keep moving you when you're injured, but I don't think it's a great idea that we stay out here for the rest of the time, you know. They'll eventually find us and we'll end up surrounded. And they'll find a way to get up here and catch us." He paused for a minute to show Wonwoo, but the pen stayed in his hand the entire time. He hesitated, keeping the pen close to his mouth, and then turned back to the notebook. "But taking them to the village could be dangerous. We could probably get there within an hour, if we were to move quickly and keep our breaks to a minimum, but that would still give the hounds over an hour to roam around the place. They could do a lot in that time, you know. I checked with the other gods. They're hellhounds - they'll take anyone who is close to death."

It didn't seem like a bad deal, as far as he was concerned. Whilst Wonwoo knew that he should probably feel a bit more sympathetic for the people who were living in the village, he didn't really know what he could really do about the hounds. After all, they were going to do what they were going to do. And sure, he had the power to stop them from getting too far and destroying everything, but he wasn't all too sure whether he wanted to do that. If he _was_ to go there, he surely wouldn't be the only one who was close to death in their eyes. He could hide somewhere that they wouldn't go, such as the temple, and then he would be able to watch as they took the people who were older or taking in harmful substances on a regular basis instead. The plan was sure to sound evil if he told anyone else about it, but it was the only option, as far as Wonwoo was concerned. There was still so much time left and he knew that there were only a few places to hide in the forest for that long, especially if the hounds were able to reach them in trees. So Wonwoo agreed. He wrote to Mingyu that he wanted to make his way to the village, and then he allowed the god to carry him there.

Knowing that he was doing something like that made Wonnwoo feel as if he was the most disgusting person in the world, admittedly. The more he thought about it, the worse he felt. Those people had done so much for him, to keep him safe and happy and well looked-after. And sure, it was hard to appreciate it a lot of the time. He struggled most of all when the other villagers were telling his parents about the sorts of things that he had done whilst he was out in the village. It gave him trust issues and it meant that even if he wanted to make friends with anyone, he genuinely struggled to make the connections with them. But that didn't mean that they weren't looking out for him. They were in the background, making sure that he got home safe. They were watching to make sure that he didn't do anything stupid. They encouraged him to go to his classes, and they made sure that he was studying. That was the nature of the people there, as irritating as it was.

But then again, he considered the fact that a lot of it involved needless snitching. A lot of the villagers were using him for gossip, or to make themselves look good. Others simply did it because they didn't want another famine, too. It had been within their lifetime and the last thing they wanted was to have nineteen years of good weather in their entire lifetime. It was a selfish reason and Wonwoo hated that. Between those two factors, he knew that he didn't really care for them as much as he knew he should have done, and so he ended up just pushing it to the back of his mind. It wasn't something that needed to concern him any longer. He had said what he said, Mingyu was taking him to the village, and they were going to watch it crashing and burning from the window of the temple. Provided that they weren't seen going into the place and the hounds had enough other targets, the stairs and locked bedroom door would provide them with protection, and so they would end up reigning triumphant for the first and only time. That was the new focus of Wonwoo's thoughts, and he was proud to know that everything was going to work out as he hoped it would in the end.

Just as Mingyu had told him, they were in the village with time to spare. It hadn't taken too long, since Wonwoo tried his hardest to avoid asking for breaks and Mingyu tried his best to keep them to a minimum too, but then they were out in the open. Just before they got there, they took one last break so that they would be able to make the sprint without anything to cover them, and then they finally went for it. By that point, the hounds were still behind them but further than they had been, so there was no issue with getting to the temple. Then Mingyu made sure to carry Wonwoo upstairs before breaking the stairs again, and took him straight through to the bedroom. He was placed on a chair and turned to face the window, and Mingyu promptly took a seat next to him.

To start with, not much happened. They simply watched and waited as the village slept underneath them. The people there were unassuming, having not even known that some people would be dying that night. In fact, Wonwoo guessed that they probably didn't even know that _he_ could have died that night. He hadn't told anyone that it was almost his time to go, after all, so they had no reason to assume that much. It took a while, admittedly, but then the hellhounds started to emerge. They were searching around, sniffing the air for any trace of their targets, but they were just like sniffer dogs in the sense that they were unable to distinguish between the scents around them. They could smell everything, from the other people in the village to the animals on Wonwoo's farm, and that left them unable to determine exactly where they were supposed to be going. So instead, they started going from house to house, drifting through the doors so that they could explore. They followed the scent of death, using it to navigate around the place, and took whichever victims they needed from the homes they could find.

It took a little while for Wonwoo to register what he was seeing but when he noticed, his stomach lurched. "Wait," he whispered to Mingyu. "They're able to go through doors. They're spirits. Does that mean they'll be able to get in here or something?" There was clear panic in his voice, which wiped the smile off Mingyu's face in an instant. Seemingly, the answer to that was incredibly obvious, but Wonwoo just hadn't understood it.  
"They're from hell," Mingyu pointed out as he squeezed his fiance's hand. "They can't come in here. It's a place of worship."  
"But... but we're not actually in the temple part. It's like any regular house here."  
"We're directly above the worship room, though. I'm absolutely certain that they can't get that close to a place of worship. That's why I locked the door too."

Wonwoo still wasn't too sure. It took an awful lot of convincing to get him to believe the theory that they couldn't enter a building with a place of worship inside, but he figured that there wasn't really much he could do about that, other than trust Mingyu. So that was what he did. He simply waited it out with Mingyu's hand clutched tightly in his own and occasionally flashed a glance to the door, just to make sure that there wasn't a hound behind them. Thankfully, Mingyu appeared to be right. The hounds continued wandering around the place, with none of them really venturing too close to where they were hiding, and then they started on their way back to the forest. Their hunt hadn't been entirely successful, since they hadn't found their targets, but it was good enough to have earnt them several new victims around the village.

"Congratulations," a voice called out from behind them once the hounds were back where they belonged. Wonwoo snapped around, only to be faced with the image of another god. Unlike the last time that he saw one, he was portrayed as a solid person. Perhaps it was his reward for having been the first person to make it that far. "You've got to the end of your life here. Now, if you're still certain that you're ready for this fate, please touch my hand and you'll experience the death of your body."

Of course, Wonwoo didn't even hesitate in the slightest. He touched the god's hand without question, only to have a pain shoot through his chest. He flashed a glance to Mingyu, who seemed uncomfortable but encouraging, and then the pain immediately started to consume him. It left his upper back aching and his jaw feeling heavy. There was a burning sensation running up his throat, like someone forced him to drink acid. Then he felt a sudden crushing sensation between his ribs, as if his heart was trying to break out of his body. Finally, there was absolutely nothing. Everything faded to darkness, and Wonwoo knew right away that his time had come.


	26. Chapter 26

Mrs Jeon was quite unfortunate, frankly. The term "close to death" was a pretty loose one, and that meant that when her son was taken, so was her husband. The stresses of the farm and trying to keep afloat were abnormally high and that had been thought to have killed him, as far as the doctor was concerned. But she knew. The call to the doctor had just been customary. She had a feeling in the pit of her stomach that told her of how it hadn't just been the stress. Four people from the same village didn't just die at the same time on the same night that everyone chose to go to bed early. Call her superstitious, but she knew that there was something odd about the deaths. That there was something different about that night. She just couldn't figure out what it was exactly.

The worst part was that her husband wasn't the only younger person to die at that point in time either. There was an elderly couple too, of course, but also a single mother. She had the stress of everything on top of her as well - the stress of taking care of five children on her own whilst trying her hardest to earn a living and provide them with a good enough education - and so she was the fourth victim. But the chances of that mother dying on the same day as Mr Jeon - and from the exact same issue - were particularly slim. That was what made her suspicious, as much as other people tried to dismiss it and acted as if it was merely an unfortunate coincidence. It wasn't apparent what might have been going on, but she knew that there was certainly something.

What _was_ apparent, though, was the fact that things had changed. She didn't have any proof of it until Mingyu joined her for dinner one evening. It had just been that feeling - the same one she had when she realised that her husband had passed away in his sleep - until the god finally spoke to her one day when she was in the new temple. "Mrs Jeon," he called out to her, making her jump, "I have some important news. I'll come to the farm at six o'clock this evening so that we can have a chat." It was all but detail-heavy, but she knew right away that her son was gone too. And since her parents had also passed away some years before that day, she found that she was completely on her own in the village. The other people there could try to comfort her, but there was an immediate sense of isolation and she loathed that. But then again, she wasn't going to go out of her way to interact with people more than she usually would. It would eventually catch up to her, of course, but it was nothing compared to the feelings of dread that she felt when she realised that her family was gone. And all of them whilst she was on bad terms with them too. If she didn't believe in karma before that day, she certainly did by the end of it.

She took her time going home. She knew that there wasn't really much to look forward to, other than the sounds of the animals around them. Thankfully, none of the animals had been taken too, she mused, because that would have made things even more difficult. She had never travelled to the city to make trade so she didn't really know how she would approach an animal's passing. Perhaps she could ask someone else in the village to help her out, but it seemed a little bit too much to expect another person to do something like that. And then they would have to explain why the sheep died, and that could potentially sway buyers to avoid the animal. As it was, it didn't look good. Naturally, she still double-checked the barns. Her full count wasn't enough when she was feeling so on edge, and so she needed to do it in order to comfort herself. As expected, though, the numbers were the exact same and the animals were all looking alive, and so she supposed at least she had that going for her. Compared to everything else that was going on in her life, it wasn't much at all, but she guessed at least it was something.

The god was prompt, thankfully. He knocked on the door at exactly six o'clock, as if he had simply been waiting outside for the exact second. Mrs Jeon made her way over to the door and swung it open, only to see the beautiful face of a young man. She recognised him to be Mingyu, of course, but it felt as if she had never seen his face before. That was ridiculous, seeing as she had seen her son in bed with him and she had seen his statues in the temples, but she genuinely felt as if she had never seen him like that before. Perhaps she hadn't looked at him properly the first time she saw him or perhaps Mingyu's face changed, but that feeling simply would not leave. Naturally, Mingyu waited patiently for an invitation into the house, though, and so she took him straight through to the kitchen. "I hope you don't mind meals made from the resources that we have around the farm," she told him, "I've tried to make the meal suitable for a god, but I didn't really know what sorts of things you would like to eat. I do apologise for that." Mingyu simply broke into a smile and took the seat when she pulled it out for him.

"You didn't need to do that, Mrs Jeon. I would've been fine with having dinner after this discussion. But if it makes you feel any better, your son made me bibimbap last night. It's simple, but I really enjoyed it," he pointed out with a smile. She visibly relaxed, having determined that it was a simple dish that was suitable for anyone. If Mingyu liked it, she supposed she had no reason to worry about the fact that her meal was simple. So she relaxed and took a seat next to him before promptly inviting him to take the first bite. He was above her, after all, and so it was the respectful option. Thankfully, Mingyu seemed pleased with what she had presented to him when he took that first bite. His expression was warm and happy and she was glad that that was the case. After all, the last thing she really needed was to disappoint him with a lack of flavour or a basic composition. And so, she could finally eat with him. She took a few bites, watching as the god tried his hardest to avoid being too hearty, and then eventually brought up the topic of her son.

"Is Wonwoo with you now?" she asked. There was a hint of anxiety in her voice. Mingyu could tell that much, if his expression was anything to go by, but he simply flashed her a warm smile and gave a little nod.  
"He's with me now. He did very well at the challenge I created for him, just so you know, and so I'm anticipating that we'll have a good life together." Mrs Jeon figured that asking about it was a mistake. She wasn't really the sort to pry like that - at least, not when a god was talking to her - but she did allow her back to straighten slightly as her gaze dropped. "It's funny," Mingyu continued after another few bites. "I've never met the parents before now. I've always just told people through their dreams. But I suppose your son is different, in a special sort of way. Please know that I love him more than I can describe to you." She shivered. Hearing someone talking about having feelings for her son seemed so alien, as far as she was concerned. Of course, she wasn't against it, but it didn't sit right in her mind.

So she simply exaggerated her smile and began to ask questions about everything. How were things going already? Was he taking his time to settle into Mingyu's place? Did he seem happy, or was he feeling homesick? Surely, the travel was going to be exhausting for him, and she figured that his body would feel incredibly heavy. Had he been resting up enough in order to combat that? Mingyu made sure to comfort her the entire time, pointing out that her son was well looked after and that he was doing what he could to make sure that he was comfortable. At the present time, he said, he had bought Wonwoo some takeaway pizza and had left him to his own devices in the library. He loved it in there already and was already researching Korean literature again. That brought a smile to Mrs Jeon's face right away. It was nice to see that even though everything had gone downhill with her son whilst he was still around, he was still the same person he had been when he was a child. Still curious about the world, and still absorbed by his books.

The conversation lasted for around an hour, with Mrs Jeon hopping up halfway through to serve up the dessert. She had made a special dish for him - Wonwoo's favourite, funnily enough - as she had determined that puddings weren't too childish for anyone. She could have made teddy-shaped jelly and put a scoop of ice cream to the side and it still would have been good enough, as far as she was concerned. And frankly, Mingyu seemed to agree. He was thrilled by the dish that she served to him, and he began eating it as soon as she gave the word for him to go ahead. Her eyes rested on his face as he essentially inhaled the dish, and then he looked right up at her with a look of pure self-satisfaction on his face. A sign that he was content with it all. At that point, Mrs Jeon took the time to ask about the future. What was going to happen to her son in the end? Was he going to live for slightly longer than the others, seeing as the average life expectancy was increasing? Would there be a huge famine again when that happened?

But Mingyu informed her right away that he couldn't tell her that. It was a secret, and so he didn't want to ruin it. Besides, the other gods were already bothered by the number of meetings and amount of paperwork they required after he told Wonwoo too much, so he couldn't risk bothering them even more. She gave a slight smile in response to that, even though it wasn't nearly as satisfying as she had hoped it would be. So she ultimately ended up having to come up with a different question instead. "Is Wonwoo's body still on this earth, or does he get to keep it whilst he's with you?" It sounded like a ridiculous question, but Mingyu knew exactly what she meant. There were hunts for the other bodies when his partners had been taken but none had ever been found. It was as if no one knew about that forest just past the village - otherwise, the bodies would have been in plain sight. Of course, he couldn't tell her that, though. It was just lucky that the body was within the village, so he was actually able to guide her there.

Or rather, he _took_ her there.

It wasn't something that he had been planning on doing, but he guessed that it was only fair. She had lost everything, after all, and so it was only right to show her where her son was so that she could give him a proper send-off. She followed him over to the temple, guiding her in through the back door of the house, then gave her a moment to enjoy the image that surrounded her. It was back to its glory with perfectly tiled floors and painted walls. The furniture was new and so were the stairs. She could feel the quality of the wooden bannister as she started making her way upstairs, and then Mingyu made sure to show her the other rooms first. It was an attempt to calm her and make her feel that little bit more comfortable, admittedly, but it seemed to do the trick. It meant that she was a lot less anxious when they made their way into Fei's room, only to see that Wonwoo was laid delicately on the bed. He was still in his pyjamas with the covers pulled up to his chin, and he looked peaceful.

"He's beautiful," Mrs Jeon told the god. Her voice threatened to break as she spoke, but she just about managed to hold it together. Mingyu let out a hum of agreement.  
"He really is. I can take his body back to the farmhouse, if you'd like. It's a long way to carry him and besides, I can make it so that no one sees us going back there. At least then, you'll be able to have someone help you with the funeral. Or perhaps you could even do it on your own. It gives you a few options to choose from." She agreed right away, figuring that it was the best option. After all, it didn't really matter that she couldn't afford to bury all of her family at once. She guessed that the others in the village would help her out, especially if she made a scene and pretended that his body simply turned up in her house. So Mingyu leant down, preparing himself to pick the body up. Then he paused. His eyes drifted over to the boy's mother, who was waiting patiently for him to do as he said he was going to do, and then he let out an awkward sigh.

"There's just one thing you need to know first, actually," Mingyu pointed out with an uncomfortable smile. "In my challenge, he tripped over and broke his leg. It's looking pretty bad, but I bandaged it up so that it's looking neat. I'm sorry that I caused him to get hurt, but it was the only way that the other gods would let me take him home." Only once he got his confession out did Mingyu pull the covers back and scoop Wonwoo out of the bed. Mrs Jeon immediately noticed the huge white bandage that was covering his leg from his knee to his ankle. It didn't look good at all, she noted, but at least she didn't have to see the wound that was left behind. She supposed that it was probably more than just a breakage if it had been bandaged up like that, but she wasn't going to comment on that. Instead, she helped the god to find a blanket, which he wrapped around Wonwoo's body so that he could safely transport it back to the house. And so they started walking.

Things oddly went back to normal once the god was gone. Or at least, it was as normal as it could be for a widower who had lost both of her children too. Mrs Jeon somehow figured out how to make things work, and she eventually ended up getting tips from other farmers so that she was able to keep it running reasonably well. She had the support of the people around her and managed to build up enough savings to be able to retire. The younger children in the village eventually started taking over the farm work, and then she finally sold the farm to a young family when she was too old to be able to walk the distance to the village from their little house. Although it held all of the memories of her family, she knew that there was no way that the village would last if they didn't have animals and agriculture to fall back on, so she figured that it was the lesser of two evils. The right thing to do. Instead, she ended up living with her late husband's younger sister, who promised to take care of her for the rest of her life.

Now, whilst Mrs Jeon certainly wasn't the best or most moral person in the entire world, she wanted nothing more than to respect her son's privacy once he had passed away. The thing was, she hadn't really respected it all that much whilst he was alive. She had spent her life intruding on him, concerning herself with where he was at all times and trying her hardest to enforce rules on him. Sometimes they were fair but other times, not so much. So this was her way of fixing things. She announced to the village that her son was with Mingyu, and then that was it. Every request from the other villagers to know more information was denied. She pretended that she didn't even know a lot of it; that she hadn't actually met Mingyu and he came to her head to speak to her about the fact that her son was with him. She hid her son's body from everyone else and buried him on her own, just so that no one saw the body and made assumptions from it.

After all, who was going to check for it? No one would be able to see her doing it, so she was safe, and the village was far from curious. It was a secret that she kept with her when she eventually moved out of the village, and it ended up being one of many that she never told a soul. She couldn't bring herself to tell even her sister-in-law, out of fear that she would go back to the village with that bit of information and spread it so that everyone could know about it. It was everyone's right to know that the things going on in the background weren't as happy as it seemed, she might have said, so it was her duty to let everyone know. She certainly seemed to be that way inclined, as much as Mrs Jeon hated to admit it, and so she ended up simply keeping it in her head, even on the day that she eventually passed away. For thirty years, her mouth stayed completely shut and she didn't even dignify any of the questions people had with an answer. They didn't deserve it - not when they were trying to intrude on Wonwoo's life like that.

So then the village was back to how it always was during the usual transition periods. For the rest of the time that Mrs Jeon had been alive - and much longer - the village was blessed with warmth and only a gentle breeze. It was a sign that Mingyu was happy with the arrangement, the village elders claimed. It was a sign that he and his husband Wonwoo would be enjoying their life together as newly-weds. When the younger villagers asked about it, they claimed that it was only right for them to marry quickly. They were going to spend the rest of their lives together, after all, and they weren't allowed to have sex outside of wedlock - or so, all of the books said - so they had to marry soon after Wonwoo joined him in order to have children. It had been that way for as long as they could remember and it was a story that had been passed down to them over time. It was only natural that they would believe something like that, even without proof of it.

Then, on occasion, the sun would grow even brighter. It would be almost scorchingly hot, even in winter. That was a sign that Mingyu and Wonwoo were having a baby together, the elders claimed. The god was particularly happy because he loved having big families, so they were to expect a few days of sweltering heat whenever their next child arrived. And whenever it happened, they insisted that it turn into a public holiday, at least for that year. If they were to do it every year, they figured that they would end up having a permanent public holiday, right from the start of the years to the end. There was something about Wonwoo, they said, that seemed to attract Mingyu more than anyone else had managed to attract him. It was unclear what it was, but they figured that it would mean that their family only continued to grow. Perhaps they would end up with over twenty children, one of the elders suggested with a smile; Mingyu certainly did seem to be in love with Wonwoo, from what they heard, so it was only natural for them to have a litter of children like that. 

Saying that, though, it left some of the villagers feeling wary. After all, if the god was having so many children with his husband, surely that was a bad sign for the future. The come-down would be that little bit harder when Wonwoo eventually died - there were theories that the children didn't last either, since some people had taken the time to connect the number of sunny periods with the harshness of the famine that followed the presumed death of his loved one - and that meant that the villagers would have to fix things up yet again. The thought was absolutely terrifying, if they were being completely honest. Whilst it wasn't the worst thing in the world for them to have a famine when they anticipated it would come, the same couldn't be said for the intensity. It had been a while since the last time they had a famine that almost wiped out the village, and the last thing they really wanted was for another one to hit. They knew that the village's children were gradually moving elsewhere in the country as it was, and to make the place even more undesirable would be to cause the end of the place. Which would, in turn, destroy their god Mingyu's heart that little bit more.

At least there was plenty of time to prepare for it, though, they figured. They had many years to gradually improve their properties so that only the minimum was damaged in the upcoming famine. They helped each other to get tinned food from the local cities, just so that there would be something good to eat when they knew that the fields of crops weren't going to continue growing, and then they proceeded to gather warm clothing too. Woollen coats and thick socks and good-quality shoes so that they wouldn't be able to feel the harshness of the cold and damp surroundings. And then they waited it out. Every year passed by incredibly quickly, leaving everyone feeling anxious as they anticipated the upcoming storm, and then the elders finally announced it. Wonwoo was going to pass away within the next five years, from their calculations, so they had to be ready at all times. Food needed to be harvested at all times and animals had to stay inside. Doors needed to be locked, and they needed to be prepared every single morning when they woke up.

And then, after three years it hit.

It started with heavy downpour. It was heavier than any of them had ever seen in their lives, and it was absolutely amazing to see how much it blurred the village out. All they could see outside of their bedroom windows was a wall of water. Everything else was fogged over, making it impossible to see more than a few feet in front of their houses. And it was so heavy that it caused flooding, too. Their position at the bottom of the hill made it difficult for rain to drain in the first place, but rain that heavy was only going to make it impossible to leave their houses for weeks. People were instantly concerned that they were going to starve to death, as was natural when they saw something like that. There was no way that they would be able to get out if they needed to get supplies and besides, they would need to find a way to wade out of the village so that they would be able to get to the city if they wanted to get some of those supplies. Not only would it take forever, but it would also be incredibly dangerous. It was just lucky that the doors of the villagers' houses were secured in a way that protected them against flooding, even when the levels were as high as they were, otherwise they would have been in even bigger trouble.

Then it turned to heavy winds. So heavy that the water was being blown towards the edges of the village, admittedly, but it was also so heavy that people still couldn't leave their homes. It was enough to knock people over, and the last thing they really wanted was to end up face-down in the water. There were warnings for the young and elderly, in particular, to stay locked in their houses. There was fear that roofs would start flying off houses at some point, despite their efforts to prepare themselves for that sort of thing, and the last thing they really needed was a vulnerable person to be hit by a roof tile or something. That would certainly result in more deaths than anything, and it wasn't worth the risk anyway. Besides, the famine had only been going on for a few days and was surely going to calm down enough to allow them to leave their houses and make their way into the nearby city to get what they needed before it hit at full force again.

But then it stopped very suddenly one afternoon, around five days after the storm had started. Without warning, it all stopped dead and turned to just clouds. The villagers were left feeling on edge, having not expected that things would dry up that quickly. In fact, the elders were insistent that people keep their wits about them. If they thought that anything bad was going to happen, they were to get to their houses immediately. If they could see any sign of rain, they needed to seek safety right away. It didn't matter if they were in a public building or at home - they needed to take cover right away and the other people there would do the rest. Every building was immediately stocked up with things that people could eat in the case of emergencies, including the library, and the anxiety was apparent on the faces of every single person. They knew that things were going to be bad when the storm eventually started up again, perhaps even worse than they had been in the first five days of the famine, but they really weren't sure what the extent of it was.

After all, it had never been like that before. They had never had a time where the famine dried up after a few days. A few of the villagers even checked the books about the famines in the library, and every single one claimed that there was consistent bad weather. Be it the rain, thunder, whirlwinds, blizzards, or below freezing conditions - it was something that stayed throughout the entire famine period and that was why it was so hard for people to continue pushing through it. How could they even survive for that long on rations and the occasional trip to the city? It was a difficult task, most likely, and they all had a new-found appreciation for the work that their ancestors had put into their survival when their god was going through his mourning period. They didn't blame Mingyu for it, of course, but it was certainly very hard to live through, especially when they had to worry about bringing children into the world during that period too.

Strangely enough, though, the weather stayed pleasant - well, as pleasant as clouds and cold weather could be - for a week or two. The villagers were all on edge still, of course, but it wasn't nearly as bad as it had been at the start. Perhaps they had misinterpreted something. One option was that Mingyu wasn't really in love with Wonwoo and their children anywhere near as much as he had been with the others. Another option was that he was pushing through the mourning phase, since Wonwoo was his fifteenth lover and by that point, it was a little bit easier for him to handle the fact that he had passed away. Alternatively, they guessed that it might have been a false alarm. Perhaps Wonwoo looked as if he was dead and Mingyu's mind had jumped to the worst case scenario right away. They needed to know which one it was, despite their god's affairs being none of their business, just so that they could prepare themselves for the worst. But none of them particularly wanted to bring it up with him directly.

What would they ask him? What could they even consider appropriate enough to ask a god? Was there even a way to word it appropriately enough to be able to avoid upsetting him? It was a tough decision to make. If they asked him directly whether Wonwoo had died, it would absolutely crush him if he actually had. It wasn't fair to put him through that, especially if he was trying his hardest not to take his mourning out on the village for once. So instead, they had an idea. They would all gather in the temple and pray for Wonwoo's good health and for him to get over whatever illness he was fighting. Surely, Mingyu would be kind enough to speak to one of them and tell them that his husband had either passed away or was feeling better, and so they would end up finding out what had been the cause of the short-lived famine. It was a great plan, they decided, and so they put it into action on the first Monday after the decision was made.

So they waited and then did what they had to do when the time came. They simultaneously prayed for Wonwoo's speedy recovery and asked Mingyu to send their best wishes to him, and then they waited for a while to see if there was any response. It took a while before anything came up, naturally, but then one of the teenage girls at the front of the room let out a laugh that seemed out of place, especially in that context and environment. All eyes were on her right away, but she seemingly didn't realise that she had responded out loud. Her eyes flashed around the room as she took in the sight of everyone watching her, and then she immediately turned bright red. The god had spoken to her and had told her what the problem was, she said. It was just funny because of the way that Wonwoo had put it when he told her. Naturally, that sparked even more interest than it would have done if the god had spoken himself, and so she made her way to the front of the room so that she could tell the story.

To cut a long story short, she said, it was something to do with a lover's spat between them. Wonwoo had been asked to control his diet and have less alcohol so that they would be able to have a healthy child with their surrogate, as he had done every time they had decided that they wanted a child in the past. Mingyu had agreed to do the same, naturally, but Wonwoo could tell that something was odd about the way that he agreed to it. After all, he didn't seem all that happy about it, even though he was the one to suggest having a child. So Wonwoo did some snooping. He placed a few cameras around their home and waited for one of them to catch something. And, just as he had expected, they managed to capture the image of Mingyu eating six iced buns, two large chocolate bars and a box of ribs in barbeque sauce, all in one sitting. Then he promptly washed it down with a case of cider before trying his hardest to dispose of the evidence. He even went so far as to wash his face and brush his teeth to get rid of the smell of food.

Wonwoo wasn't happy at all, and understandably so. They had made an agreement and the last thing he really wanted was for it to be disregarded like that, especially when he had been trying to hard to improve his health in order to produce a healthy child. He had a huge argument with his husband about it and the god ended up sulking for a few days, only made worse when Wonwoo decided that he couldn't be around someone with such a childish attitude. He had walked out and stayed with one of the other gods for a little while, which only made Mingyu's tantrum worse. He then apologised for the fact that his husband was reacting in that sort of way. He promised that he would try to stop it from happening again and then insisted that he was perfectly healthy and wasn't planning on dying any time soon. In fact, he said, they didn't even need to worry about there being another long famine, since he wasn't really planning on dying at all.

With that alone, he took a massive amount of stress off the villagers. He couldn't even comprehend just how much he had done for them by telling them those few little details and whipping away all of the stress and anxiety that had been building over the few years leading up to his estimated date of death. They finally felt as if they were able to relax; as if the curse that they had been living in had been lifted. It was something that they had been worried about for years; something that they had been anticipating as soon as Wonwoo was born and the last famine was over. But now they were free to enjoy life in the village. They could build it up without fear of everything collapsing under a fifty-year famine, and they could gradually attract more citizens now that they didn't have to worry about the weather driving people away.

All in all, Jeon Wonwoo had done a huge service for them. He had made sure that their god felt loved and appreciated, to the point where he was pushed to make things permanent between them and end the cycle that had been building up over centuries. And then he had survived the game that he had been pushed into as a final test of his worth to the god. It was a game that was absolutely vile when he thought about it, but it was something that had left him with a sense of pride when he was finally allowed to join Mingyu and be together with him. As much as he had had conflicts with his mother, he had a sense that everything was sorted after he moved in with the god, and as much as he thought he hated the village, he couldn't help but keep a tiny little soft spot for the villagers in the middle of his heart.

That was why their opinions of him changed so dramatically, in the end. He had changed from that boy who everyone avoided - the one who had no friends, even though he clearly needed someone - to the boy who had a statue created in his image so that he could be placed next to the statue of his god at the head of the temple. 

He was the village's blessing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I didn't really know how to finish this off but I guessed it would be worth giving an epilogue of sorts?? So I hope this is okay and worked out well!!
> 
> Thank you for reading this far and staying with me through this!!! <3


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